2am Habits (Bill Skarsgård love story)

Chapter 1

"Did you cry?"

"Of course I cried, my heart was broken" Alexa responded as she continued to flip through her magazine. I was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, playing with the strings on my sweats. I swiftly looked up to face her. I knew it was a dumb question, something everyone should know the answer to, but somehow I didn't. I never did.

"One day you'll cry too" Alexa said as she shifted her gaze on me for a split second before returning her focus on the silly celebrity drama that was plastered across the magazine. I nodded quietly, letting the topic of conversation die.

"Girls lights out!" I heard my mother yell from downstairs. I jumped off the bed and ran towards the opposite side of the room to switch off the lights. I looked back at Alexa who was staring at me with her iconic devilish grin. We knew we weren't going to sleep anytime soon. It was a constant habit of ours to stay up late and talk about everything and anything up to weird questions such as 'do fish sleep?'

I turned the lights off before hopping onto my bed and hiding beneath the covers. Even at 15 years of age, the darkness still sparked fear in me, unlike Alexa who had just turned 17 and had seemed to have let go of all those pesky little fears we shared in common when we were younger.

"Psst" I heard Alexa whisper through the darkness. I let the covers softly slide off my face as I peeked through the night that shadowed our room.

"I met a new boy" I heard her soft voice break through the silence. I stopped myself from sitting up in excitement and shock. I was always so jealous of Alexa, she always seemed to find guys who liked her back. I was jealous of how pretty she was and how happy she seemed when she was in "love".

But even I knew that wasn't healthy. She would cry for 2 days straight, refuse to leave the room and sit at the dinner table with her head down. And after those 2 days, it's like nothing ever happened. It's like she wasn't even aware that the word "love" existed. It was insanity but I didn't mind it.

It felt like we stayed up talking about this new boy for what felt like hours. I knew everything about him now. The way he dressed and what he like to eat. His favorite gum and his musical taste. The way Alexa spoke about him made me think he might be different, but deep down I knew he wasn't. None of them ever were.

"I'm so jealous" I whispered back as my hand grasped my comforter in excitement and anxiousness at her response.

I was always jealous.

I was jealous of the same feeling that was almost inevitable to her.

I was jealous of her heart break.

"Don't be" she responded. I sat up slightly and it was only then I realized how late it was. My eyes squinted at the clock that read 2:oo am.

Alexa must have realized it too.

"I'm going to bed now" she said. The sound of ruffling bed sheets followed after, indicating she was getting comfortable in bed.

I didn't say anything and began to hide beneath my comforter once again. I forced myself to close my eyes, not wanting these 2am thoughts to take over.

"One day you'll cry too Ella" I told myself.