Hey! Sorry if it's a little short. I was busy this weekend and I didn't have much time to write. But I hope you enjoy this chapter!
- Gabie :)
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Calum.
Luke and I haven't talked since our argument yesterday. How could I even talk to him, after what he said? He basically told me that he doesn't care about me or what I think.
If now would be the to wonder if you could love and hate someone at the same time, now would be a good time. Because, now, I certainly love and hate Luke.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. My dad left for the restaurant ten minutes ago so I figured it would be Ashton. I walked out of my room and downstairs to the front door.
I opened the door to see Ashton. He was wearing his usual black tank and skinny jeans with his famous red bandana tied around his head. He wore black vans to complete his outfit. His well known smile was well worn on his face.
"Hey Cal. Ready to go?" He asked. "Yeah," I replied. I followed Ashton outside and locked the door behind me. We both walked to his car and climbed inside his car. He started the car and drove off.
"Are we going to the lake today?" I asked. "Yeah. We could skip rocks or something," Ashton suggested. "Or we could play on the playground. Like we did last time," I told him, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't you dare bring up last time," Ashton warned. "Oh. You mean the last time we went on the playground you got your foot stuck inbetween the monkey bars?" I asked as he gasped.
"You promised that you wouldn't bring that up again!" Ashton complained. "Ash I didn't promise anything. You just made the firefighters promise that they wouldn't say anything to anyone else," I replied, cheekily. "Calum Hood you are a jerk," Ashton told me as I gave him an innocent smile.
Besides Luke, Ashton is probably the next person I have the most memories with so I have find the right opportunity to bring up an embarrassing time.
In as short as ten minutes, we reached the lake. Ashton then drove into the parking lot and parked his car and turned off the engine. We walked out and started to walk onto a small trail that lead to the lake shore. From where we were waking, it would take less than ten minutes to get there.
Once we did get there, the lake was laid out in front of us. The lake was huge, as always. If you looked across the lake, you'd see a line of trees and houses. On the left was a beach where different people were screaming and shouting with laughter. The part Ashton and I were on had a shore filled with different types of rocks. The lake waves crashed against the shore.
We walked closer to the water and picked up a few rocks.
"So...have you talked to Luke at all?" Ashton asked as he skipped the first rock. I looked away and threw a rock into the water, not even bothering to skip it.
"No...not really. I don't really want to talk to him honestly," I replied. Ashton sighed. "Well you can't avoid him forever. You have to talk to him sometime."
"No. I can avoid him. I can...not talk to him for awhile. How hard can it be?" I asked.
"Luke's your best friend, and also your crush. I'd start to go insane if I couldn't talk to my crush for days. Tell me Calum, how long, do you think, can you go without talking to Luke, without going insane?" Ashton asked, looking at me.
I looked away from Ashton gaze. Honestly, I won't be able to last long without Luke. He's constantly on my mind and I can't go a day without thinking about him. We joked around all the time and I couldn't help but blush or feel my heart flutter every time he touched me or sent me a smile or called me Cal.
I know Micahel and Ashton also call me 'Cal' but when Luke says it...it's different. It makes me feel special for...some reason.
"Okay okay you win, but I don't want to talk to him. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness. He cares more about Maya than he does about me so why should I even bother?" I grumbled as I threw another rock, seeing it skip five times.
"He does care about you Calum. This jealousy thing is just taking over your mind. Didn't you hear Luke trying to apoligize to you yesterday?" Ashton asked.
"Well yeah but-"
"No buts Cal. You need to march up to Luke, demand to talk to him, and figure things out so you're not so mad and so Luke's not so confused. You're best friends. You guys shouldn't be acting this way," Ashton said.
I held my hands up in defeat.
"Alright Ashton. I got it. I'll...I'll talk to Luke on Monday. This is our weekend. We're going to hang out and I'm not even going to worry about Luke, yet," I replied.
"Good," Ashton said as we continued to skip rocks.
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*Monday*
I walked out of Chemistry and made my way to my locker. Michael went to walk with Lillie and Ashton stayed behind to talk to the teacher about his, already, failing Chemistry grade. So it was just me today.
I planned to catch Luke after school, before he went away with Maya, to talk to him before going home to get ready to go to Ashton's house to hang out.
As I shut my locker, I turned to see Peter leaning on the locker next to mine, smiling.
"Hey Calum," he greeted. "Hey Peter," I replied, smiling. "Our Chemistry project is due tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over to finish it," Peter said.
"Right. Football practice is cancelled...again. But sure. I'll just follow you to your house again. But I might need to leave early because I'm going over to Ashton's house," I replied.
"Alright. That's fine," Peter replied. We then proceeded to walk out of the school and into the parking lot.
Before I got into my car, I saw Luke in the distance. Him and Maya were sitting against the school, holding hands, and whispering. I saw her laugh as Luke smiled, knowing he had just told her a joke that made her laugh.
Well there goes my chance at talking to him today.
I sighed and climbed into my car. I started the engine and started to follow Peter, driving to his house.
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I climbed out of my car as Peter came to greet me. We walked inside, greeted by silence. "Another business trip?" I asked. "Yeah. My parents have been gone for a couple of days now," Peter replied, sadly.
I decided not to reply with anything.
We walked up to his room and closed the door. His rabbit, Apricot, sat in it's cage in the corner of the room. Peter pulled out the poster in his closet and we got to work.
When I worked on getting the final information on our poster, I couldn't help but feel Peter's eyes on me. Whenever I looked away, I would feel his hand linger on my arm or his eyes burning into my back. The feeling was weird.
Once we finished our poster, Peter and I sat on his bed and talked.
"So when did you first find out that you were...gay?" Peter asked.
I widened my eyes and turned red at the question. This was something I shared often so it was odd that someone asked me that.
"Oh um...after my fourteenth birthday I guess. I had a girlfriend at the time too. And every time we kissed...it didn't feel right. Like...something was wrong. I couldn't figure out what it was. Until I um..realized how attractive a guy at school was. That's when I realized I felt a weird attraction to guys and I didn't see girls in that way anymore. It took a lot of time to think about it and realize who I was...but I realized I was gay. So I broke up with my girlfriend, and she wasn't very happy about that. It took a long time but I told Luke, Ashton, and Michael, and they accepted me. And it took an even longer time to tell my parents...and that's when my mum left," I told him.
"Oh. Yours isn't so bad. Mine is just...I don't know," Peter replied.
"What made you realize that you were gay?" I asked.
"I think I told you this before...but I met this guy. Before I never looked at guys this way but this guy changed it. Before I knew it, I wasn't looking at girls the same way anymore and I began to look at the way I used to look at girls," Peter told me.
"That's not so bad. Do your parent accept you?" I asked. "Yeah. I came out a year ago and they accepted me for who I was. My uncle's gay so it worked out," Peter replied. "The same uncle that owns the rock climbing place?" I asked. Peter nodded.
"But tell me more about this guy. What's he like?" I asked.
"He's amazing. He has no idea how much I want him. He's beautiful and has the most amazing smile. He can be a little sassy and rude but can also be cute, adorable, funny, and caring at the same time. If I could, I would ask him out right now," Peter confessed.
"Can you...possibly tell me who this is?" I asked, curious.
Peter sighed and looked at me, our faces inches apart.
"Calum Hood, it's you. It's always been you," Peter said before he softly pressed his lips against mine.
He pulled away from me, making eye contact. He gently pushed me against bed, so my head was resting against his pillow, and pressed his lips against mine, pinning my wrists down.
I hesitated at his sudden action and decided to slowly kissed him back so I was at least giving him something.
This kiss felt different. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel my heart race against my chest. I didn't feel the butterflies in my stomach. I didn't feel the sparks that flew. I didn't feel anything.
This kiss with Peter meant nothing.
Peter slowly removed his hands from my wrists and held my chin with one hand and put one around my waist, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss in the process.
It took awhile but I managed to push Peter off of me. He looked confused but sat up as I sat up and sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing my face with my hands.
"Peter...I can't do this anymore," I said after of moment of silence. "Do what anymore?" Peter asked, slight aggravated. "I...I don't like you in that way. I'm sorry," I apologized. "I...I thought you felt the same way," Peter said, hearing his anger rise.
"I don't. I'm sorry Peter. I should probably...go now," I said, getting off of his bed and grabbing my backpack.
Before I could walk out the door, Peter grabbed my wrist and tightened his grip. I turned to see him, mad. He took off my backpack and roughly pushed me back onto his bed, pinning my wrists roughly against the bed.
"Here's the thing Calum. I always get what I want. And right now...all I want is you. If you don't want me, I'll make you want me," he said, slipping off his shirt.
I knew what this mean and I tried to pry his hands off of me, but I knew it wouldn't work. He had a strong grip, and I had no chance of getting out.
He then started to slip off my shirt, exposing my bare chest.
"No no please no Peter. This isn't you. I know this isn't you," I pleaded as he started to unzip my pants. "I don't care. I always get what I want," he growled.
Peter had managed to strip off all of my clothes as did he, exposing my nude body. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, seeing myself now nude. "I think you'll be able to answer that once we're done here," Peter whispered.
I didn't have a clue on what that could mean but before I knew it Peter made himself feel comfortable on top of me. Before I could scream he covered my mouth with his hand.
He started right away and soon enough I felt him inside me.
I screamed and all my other thoughts went away.
All I could hope for now was for someone to come and save me from Peter, who showed no sign of stopping any time soon.
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I CAN'T WRITE SMUT, EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. (Actually does it even qualify as smut if the person doesn't want to 'do it'?). BUT I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU GUYS HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO END THE CHAPTER WITHOUT IT SOUNDING TOO DIRTY.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
But, long story short, Calum was raped...by Peter. DAMN PETER WAS ALL GOOD TOO WTF.
(AS YOU CAN TELL THERE'S A LOT OF YELLING.)
But, the next chapter will be up soon! I only got four more days of school left (WHOO HOO) so updates will come faster! Yay!
Until then! Thank you for all the nice comments and votes!
- Gabie :)