I woke up the early next morning with my head on Mekhi's chest. His arms were around me. I slipped out from under them and snuck over to my bed getting under the covers. Thank goodness his emotions had gotten the best of him the night before or we might have gone further than just making out.
I layed on my bed staring across at him. He was almost perfect. He was extremely loving and he was passionate about everything. Just like Flynn...Hate me for saying this but, better than Flynn. I thought we were compatible.
He took a deep breath and turned on his side facing me. He looked so peaceful like something was finally off of his chest.
I layed on my back and stared at the ceiling. It angered me a little. Would would God bring people into our lives that seemed to be so right for us and not have them love us back? Why put us through all of this just to make the person we love or like not see what we see in them, in us?
I layed all night praying that Mekhi would fall in love with me.
Morning came and he slowly stretched and yawned.
I smiled at him.
He sat up and looked at me. "Hi," he wiped his eyes with a smile.
"Hi...you slept well."
He nodded. "I did." His smile suddenly wiped off. "What happened last night...It shouldn't have."
I frowned. Really God?
"I had a bad day yesterday and I needed to...get over what was making me upset...and you were here-"
"What's wrong with me?" I stared at him. "I try to be better. I try to do the things that make me better. But you still see nothing in me."
"It's because we aren't meant for each other-"
"How could we not be? You're everything I want."
"But you're," he sighed and looked down. "Harley, I don't want to be with you because you make me feel...I don't know how to explain it."
"Try. Because I don't understand."
"I need to be with someone who makes me a better person. You don't. You make me want to do things I shouldn't."
"Like?"
"Last night."
I shut my mouth.
"I'm not the reason you wanted to change. Flynn is. You want to be a better person for him. You need to realize that before you lose him again."
I looked down. "How am I supposed to just...forget about you? You stay in my dorm."
"You will."
I frowned and turned on my other side.
I heard the door shut behind me. I quickly got out of bed and called Hayden. "I need you."
* * *
Hayden and I slept together then everything went dark again.
I layed on the bed as usual and stared at the ceiling, then the realization of everything hit me like a brick and I broke down. I hadn't changed. I began to weep covering my eyes and moaning.
"Hey," Hayden held my wrists and uncovered my eyes, then he wrapped his arms around me. "Don't cry."
"I can't believe I've been so stupid."
He kissed my head. "You're not stupid. You're just hurt."
"Flynn will never take me back after all of this."
"That doesn't matter...He doesn't matter-"
"He does...to me." I slipped away from Hayden and sat up on the bed then I stood and walked over to the bundle of clothes on the floor. I slowly put my clothes on then I walked out the door.
When I got to my dorm my Mekhi wasn't there. I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone then I layed back. I dialed the numder and put the phone to my ear. It rang for a while then Flynn answered.
"Harley?"
I sat I silence for about thirty second but I could hear him breathing on the other end. He was waiting for me to say something. "I'm so sorry," I wept.
"About what?"
"Everything. I love you so so much and I really really need you. And I would've hated myself if I didn't let you know. I've done something bad and I know you will hate me for it. So, I just wanted to get that off of my chest before you disowned me."
"Harley...you can't do anything to make disown you. I love you."
"As a friend?"
Flynn chuckled. "No...more than a friend."
I smiled then I remembered why I called him and it quickly wiped off. "Flynn?"
"Yeah?"
"I slept with Hayden."
He didn't reply.
"More than once...for about a month."
I heard him sigh.
"I'm sorry."
"I know...and I forgive you...It was probably revenge on me, anyway."
"What are you talking about?"
"He slept with you as revenge against me. He had a thing for me."
I sat up wiping my cheeks. "You're joking, right?"
"No. That's why he sent you pictures of me and Oliver. As revenge. He's bisexual and he liked me and May and you and probably anyone who showed him a little bit of kindness. He's a really broken person."
I frowned. "Aren't we all?"
"Yeah....I'm back in college by the way."
"That's great."
"Yeah. I realized something while I was out. The day you called me...I realized that people go through things, we meet people who batter us or hurt us and then we meet people who mend us. That's why we're together, Harley. We've been through crap. We've gotten ourselves into situations. And they've led us to the people who can fix us. The people who can make us better. You make me a better person and I make you a better person. That's why we're meant to be...I love you."
I stared at Mekhi's bed. He had said the very same things to me. And he was right. Flynn made me want to be better. "I love you too, Flynn."