*i will never stop trying
i will never stop watching
as you leave
i will never stop
losing my breath
every time i see you
looking back at me
and I will never stop
holding your hand
I will never stop
opening your door
I will never stop
choosing you babe
I will never get used to you*
{Never Stop (Wedding Version) - Safetysuit}
~Michael's POV~ 🌚
I walked away hand in hand with Skylar to meet up with Calum and Ashton. I can't believe Luke. He's such a bitch. Skylar wouldn't lie to me, Luke's just being crazy. I always knew he was. But there's something I'm feeling and it feels a lot like guilt. I hope Luke doesn't try anything. I know he wears bracelets and all and he never leaves the house without them but he wouldn't hurt himself. I know Luke and he wouldn't.
(Wow Mikey you don't know your friend very well zayum. Okay you can continue now...)
"I'm glad he's gone." Skylar rolled her eyes.
"Uh, yeah I guess." I scratched the back of my neck and loosened the grip on our hands.
Now that I think of it she's not all that pretty.
'Wow Michael. Rude.'
I know but she's really protective and she holds my hand really right.
'Maybe she isn't the one?'
No she is. I like her a lot.
'You sure about that?'
Positive. Nobody has made me feel this way since that night with-
'With who? Hmmm?'
Calum.
'Thought so...'
"Michael! Are you even listening to me?" She waved a hand in front of my face.
"Sorry babe... Um, I gotta go talk to Calum and Ashton. Alone." I stated and she looked offended.
"Well fine. Text me later and maybe we can do something." She winked and walked off trying to make her butt look bigger. Ew, slut. I mean.
"Michael, come on in." Calum answered the door and I entered his house.
"Hey." I said and Ashton waved then looked back at his phone. He looked sad.
"What's up?" Calum asked.
"I feel bad for him." I sighed slumping on the couch next to Ashton.
"For who?" He shut off his phone and turned to me.
"For Luke."
"You shouldn't, he's being a bastard." Calum rolled his eyes.
"Okay I don't know why you guys are mad at him but I feel horrible. I feel like he's going to do something. I mean I know he doesn't cut himself but I think he'll try." I put my head in my hands.
"W-What did you do?!" Ashton stood up looking worried. But I didn't reply.
"Michael what did you do." He took a step closer to me looking me in the eyes.
"I kinda punched him in the face and called him a faggot." I gave a weak, innocent smile.
"Michael!" Calum gasped.
"MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK?! And hey... That's offensive." He grabbed the collar of my shirt shaking me.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." I covered my face. I feel like I'm going to cry.
"Michael you don't get it!" Ashton paced back and forth bitting his nails.
"What do you mean?!"
"HE'S GONNA CUT HIMSELF AGAIN." He screamed and we all went silent.
"Again?" Calum swallowed in horror.
"What do you mean again Ashton. Tell me!" I walk towards him. What the fuck how did this happen. How did we not know?!
"Damn it!" He cussed running a hand through his hair. "That's how we had our first kiss. He asked me why I wore bracelets and he told me if I showed him he'd show me. We understand each other and we promised not to cut again but now I know for sure he's going to!" He yelled, trying to catch his breath.
"WAIT. So you AND Luke cut yourselves? Ashton why?" Calum was bitting his lip trying not to cry.
"That's a different story but we have to go find Luke I don't want him hurting himself."
"B-But we can't just barge in his house?" I asked.
"Yes, we can I live there." Ashton scoffed and started getting in the car.
We drove as quickly as we could but when we got there we saw an ambulance. In front of his house. No. No. No. Fuck shit no why Luke no.
We run out of the car to see Liz crying.
"Liz what happened?!" Ashton asked frantically, hugging her.
"I-I came home a-and I found L-Luke on the floor in the b-bathroom and he took pills and w-was covered in b-blood." She let out and sobbed into his arms.
I looked at Ashton and his face fell. He starred off into the distance before breaking into a sob. They both hugged each other and cried till Ashton fell to his knees. He tugged on his hair and shook his head.
"No. Luke why. No. NO!" He got up and ran in the house.
We all ran after him and at this point Calum and I were both crying. We run into the bathroom and my heart just about broke.
Ashton was hugging Luke who had his eyes closed. There was a half empty bottle of pills and both arms were covered in blood as well as the floor. Calum and I rushed to his side and I gripped his arm.
"Luke, I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. You know I love you. Please don't die on us. I never knew you did this. Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you, Luke. Please be okay. Don't leave us." I had my head down whispering to him as my tear fell on his cheek. I know he probably can't hear me but I can try. This can't be happening. I look over to see Calum doing the same.
"Lukey. I love you. Please be okay. We can help you through this. You mean so much to us. Stay strong. I'm sorry. She was probably telling bullshit the whole time. Don't leave." He whimpered and I pulled him into a hug.
"Luke no. No. No, please. Luke be okay. I don't know what I'd do without you. I believe that you never did or said any of those things. You need to be okay, okay? Please, for me. Stay strong. I need you Lukey, don't leave me because the scary thing is..." He sobbed quietly and wiped a few tears away before saying. "I Think I Love You."
Some paramedics came in and took him away on a stretcher. We watched him being loaded into the truck and one asked if someone would like to ride with him.
"Liz do you want to?" I asked putting a hand on her shoulder.
"No." She starred with no emotion.
"But-" Calum started. Why wouldn't she want to ride with her own son to the hospital.
"No, I don't want to. I can't right now." She sniffed. "Ashton I want you to."
"You sure?" He asked quietly.
"Yes please go." She told hi to and he hopped into the ambulance grabbing Luke's hand and the door shut.
"Come on Michael, let's go too." Calum motioned for me to come with him.
"He'll be okay Liz, don't worry." I gave her a small hug.
"I know he's strong but I never thought something like this would happen." She choked out a sob and Calum rubbed her back before we left.
That's got to be hard on a mom. See your own child like that, barely breathing, blood surrounding them, on the floor.
I hope he's okay. Luke's like a brother to me. I love him a lot. If something happens to him I don't know what we'd do. He's like a leader. Not of the band but he always keeps us on track. He's very responsible and knows when to be silly and when to be serious. Without him it'll be like our missing puzzle piece that we've been destine to find. When Ashton came along, everything was complete. But if Luke's not here, we'll all fall apart.
We got to the hospital and walked into the waiting room seeing Ashton with his head in his hands. He's shaking his head furiously and rocking back and forth, trembling. He looks like he's having a panic attack. A nurse walked over and put a hand on his shoulder but he slapped it away.
"Calum? Michael!" He shouts lifting his knees up to his chest, crying.
"Ashton! We're right here. Shhh, calm down. He'll be fine." I hugged him tightly and he gripped my arm.
"I-I don't think he, he will." He looked up at us and you could tell that he was tired and crying earlier.
"Just think positive, Ash. You don't know that." Calum sat down on the other side of him.
"But we don't know he'll survive either!" He started shaking a bit.
"Ashton do you have anxiety?" I ask hesitantly.
"Y-Yes... It started when uh, when I was 13." He replied.
"Did anything traumatic happen to you when you were 13?" Calum asks, putting a hand on his knee.
"I really don't feel comfortable talking about it." He sniffled.
"Ashton, I want you to know that Calum, Luke, and I will always be here for you. Always. So please, don't be afraid to tell anything. We won't judge you or put you down in anyway because you mean a lot to us." I looked him in the eyes assuring him that we care and understand.
"Yeah, Michael's right. Even though we've only known you for about a month, you're still really close to us. Like a brother. We want you to trust us that you can tell us anything." Calum agrees with me.
"Thank you g-guys. Um, I had my first boyfriend when I was 13." He started. "It was H-Harry..."
"Styles?" Calum raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." He looked down, ashamed.
"Listen, that's who you dated and whatever happened, happened. Don't be ashamed." I put an arm around his shoulder.
"Mhm. Well when we were 14 we broke up for... Reasons. And that same year my mom uh, d-died." He bit his lip holding back tears.
"Ashton, I'm so sorry." Calum rubbed his back and hugged him.
"Oh Ash, I'm sorry. Was that also the time you started... Harming yourself?" I swallow hardly at the thought of it. Especially because Ashton and Luke both do...
I need to have a serious conversation with Lucas when he's better.
"Ashton please, whatever happens in the future. Promise us you won't cut again. I don't like the thought of you or Luke doing that. I know you guys are so much more better than that. You can fight through this, I know you can." Calum kept blinking to keep himself from crying.
"Ashton please don't." I begged him and he just nodded silently.
"I'll try." He said, his voice dry.
"Lucas Hemmings?" A nurse called out.
We all stood up and walked over.
"What is it?" Calum asked.
"Well do you boys know how long he has been doing this?" Calum and I both shake our heads but Ashton answers.
"About 5 years now or so."
We both gasp. We didn't think it was going on for this long. That explains everything. The bracelets, the random mood swings, the times when he says hates everything but we think he's kidding, the times when he says he wants to die but we think it's in a joking manor. It was all true. I can't believe I didn't realize this earlier. How could Luke ever hurt himself? And why?
"Mhm... Okay. Thank you." She wrote it down on a note pad. "He's stable but I'm not sure when he'll wake up. He's a lucky, lucky boy I'll tell you." She says as we walk to his room.
"What do you mean? And will he ever wake up??" Ashton questions.
"He was a millimeter away from hitting a vein and if he did he might have been a goner. But he will wake up for sure, we just don't know when." The nurse by the name of, Kaelin, explained.
"So he's in a coma." I scratch the back of my neck pray to go he's not.
"Technically yes, but this sleep should only last for about maybe a few days or a week at the most." She answers.
"Thank you so much." Calum shakes her hand and she walks off.
"We'll leave you to go in first Ashton." I push him forward, toward the door a bit.
"No, he's your best friend. Please, see him first." He insists.
"Go ahead, Ashton. You need time with him. Besides I'm hungry." Calum shrugs and waves to him dragging me to the food court with my hand in his.
Ashton gives us a weak smile before entering the room.
Though, I didn't realize why I was so oddly happy until I noticed my hand was still in Calum's.
~~~~~
AWH YAS. DONT KILL ME.
But ayeeee update! Hope you like it(:
IM JUST FREAKING OUT BECAUSE WE HAVE 1K READS ON THIS. PRAISE THE LAWD.
Thank you all so, so, so, SO MUCH! I love you guys <3
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~Sydney x