Have you ever had something happen to you and wonder what you'd ever done to deserve something so rotten? For me things like this happen quite frequently and I often wonder which past lifetime I have to thank. You'd think I'd suffered enough losing my parents, my home, my previous life, and Rayner. Of course I'd done some terrible things along the way but I never imagined karma could hurt this bad.
"Tori turn that off and stop torturing yourself." Jackson groaned throwing a pillow at the television set barely missing it. I'd switched it to a celebrity gossip station entirely out of boredom never expecting to see what I was watching. Eliza has found herself a new beau. My heart sank in my gut as I watched the station play back the video paparazzi had gathered of her and Rayner hand in hand exiting a restaurant. Another camera had a caught Rayner's lips brush her cheek. I couldn't breathe. I completely forget how. "Tori!" Jackson grumbled prying the remote out of my cold dead hand turning the television off. "Fuck him and her. Come on let's go do something that doesn't involve drooling over the tv." He decided for me sitting up, slicking his long hair back, and pushing his feet into his boots. "You're not going to sit around here feeling sorry for yourself you're coming with me. Let's go." He tossed me my coat and shoved his arms into his own leather one placing an unlit cigarette between his lips.
"I don't feel like it Jackson. Besides it's Thursday I need to study." He rolled his eyes at me already knowing I didn't have school tomorrow and that I didn't actually need to study. He nodded his head beckoning me to follow as he grabbed the keys and walked out of the door. I sighed slipping my fuzzy boots on over my leggings and put my warm coat on following him reluctantly after locking the door making sure Kato stayed inside. I cluncked down the stairs in a bit of sorrow finding Jackson at the bottom of them blowing smoke from his lips. Lips that I wanted to devour in revenge. That wouldn't be fair though so I refrained from acting out because of Rayner.
"Where are we going?" I frowned annoyed he'd made me leave the fortress. He squeezed my arm and made some friction by rubbing up and down with his hand. He didn't say anything squinting his eyes as he inhaled more of his cigarette that smelled suspiciously of another substance. He offered me some and I shook my head just watching his eyes dance around in the dimming light. "Jackson tell me what we are doing or I'm going back inside. I'm cold. And sad." He laughed humorlessly stomping the butt of his cigarette out on the ground burying it with dirt. I had told him time and time again to get an ash tray to no avail.
"We are going to play pool for old times sake." He told me as if it were obvious what we should do. I gave him a blank pointed stare showing him my displeasure. "To play pool?" I inquired monotonously not warm to the idea. "Yeah I'm going back inside." I decided but he caught my arm just in time. "Oh no you don't Tori. I know how these things go and you aren't locking yourself in your room to cry. You're going out with me and we are going to hang out with the new guys I met through work. We are going to have fun." He promised confident in his ability to cheer me up despite my failed efforts at ditching him for my pillow and a sad movie.
After a few minutes of driving I was highly confused about where he was taking me. "Jackson why are we going toward the country club? The pool halls are on the opposite side of town." I clutched my aching head annoyed I'd have to be in the car longer than I needed to be. "Shh." He hushed and continued driving us in the wrong direction. I kept my mouth shut and just hoped he knew where he was going. It wasn't long until we were driving through my old neighborhood. I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest. "Jackson we have to turn around please." The panic was evident in my voice and I felt like I was breathing through a straw. I saw the street sign and my eyes bulged but by the grace of God he didn't turn down that road but on the next street instead.
"What's wrong with you Tori?" I felt my lungs return to normal as oxygen filled them once again. I released the door not realizing I'd been clutching it for life. "Tori?" Jackson snapped me back to the present. He'd parked in front of a large house that had many cars parked outside of it. "What is it?" I took a deep breath unsure of whether I should tell him what had happened or pretend like I was just that upset over what we'd seen on the TV.
"Devon Ave." Was all I had to say and it all clicked in Jackson's head at once. "It was the last street." I felt tears prick my eyes no matter how much I'd willed them away. He took my hand in his giving it a tight squeeze. "I didn't know. I wouldn't have taken you this way." I waved a hand in front of my face feeling very silly, overwhelmed and silly. "It's okay I just haven't driven this way since I've been back, I knew I couldn't avoid it forever I just wasn't expecting it." His expression screamed an apology but he didn't voice it and I am glad he didn't because he didn't owe me anything.
"C'mon." He beckoned exiting the vehicle. I hesitantly followed suit shivering the air cooler now that the sun was almost set. I hadn't heard the music from outside but it was loud inside and there were lots of college aged kids scattered around. Some playing beer pong, others in the hot tub I could see outside from the large glass wall on one side of the home, and then there was the pool table.
"There you are! I was thinking you weren't going to show." A boy appearing to be in his early twenties smiled widely greeting Jackson with a hand shake only a man would know. I observed the people in the room starting with the guy I assumed lived here. He had vibrant green eyes and a perfect chestnut quiff on top of his head though he still wasn't as tall as Jack. Definitely had money based off his designer clothing. "Hey, Tori isn't it? I'm Riley. I know a few of the girls you went to high school with." Now that he said his name it did sound slightly familiar. I just nodded my head unsure of the relevance but wanting to acknowledge that he'd heard of me. Who hadn't?
"You guys wanna play? You can be on a team against Maia and I. She sucks so don't be too worried." She slapped him really hard in the arm annoyed he'd rudely outed her. He just laughed clutching his arm obviously enjoying teasing his girlfriend (or I assumed it was his girlfriend). Jackson handed me a cue already rubbing the blue chalk on the end of his. "Tori is actually pretty good." Jackson smirked shooting a wink at me recapping the memory.
Two rounds in and I was already feeling a little better being in the company of people I could potentially call friends. Jackson and I had been dominating easily. "He wasn't lying when he said you were good." Riley complemented as I finished my turn pocketing two solid balls. Riley offered me a drink and I refused because Jackson was already tipsy so I was driving. Maia was practically drunk off her ass and had lost interest in our game focusing on another boy in the corner of the room leaving me to piece together they were not actually a couple. Jackson had also lost interest in our game talking to a shaggy haired guy about motorcycles which made me roll my eyes. That was when Riley made his move coming up behind me moving my hair away from my neck.
I froze in my spot growing incredibly uncomfortable at his close proximity of my rear end. His hand stroked my hip grazing just under my shirt. I turned around my senses hyper aware of where this was going. "What are you doing?" My voice was shrill as I was not expecting that. "What do you mean?" He asked with an innocent smirk but I could smell the alcohol on his breath. His eyes dropped to my bosom and that was all it took for me to shut this down. Jackson was turned away from us but was literally not even seven feet away, how could this guy feel so comfortable with his actions. "I'm uncomfortable can you please stop?" I admitted placing my palms up forcing him to take a step back. He just rolled his eyes with annoyance that I hadn't accepted his behavior obviously not use to being rejected.
My question had earned Jackson's attention anger flashed his face and before I had a chance to blink Jackson had grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him and away from the pool table Riley had cornered me against. "Hhmm." He grumbled shaking his head disapprovingly at Riley who just laughed in return. "I didn't think you were a thing." Riley admitted making me feel like a piece of meat. The tension was growing between them spiking my anxiety. "We aren't." Jackson's jaw clenched and his grip on my wrist loosened. "Then what's the problem?" Riley's voice darkened and my irritation was increasing. Jackson's protective stance didn't falter and I felt his body getting warmer. He didn't even have to respond for Riley to back down. "Alright Jack I don't want an argument I just assumed she was fair game." Jackson placed a hand on the small of my back. "She's not." Jackson retorted monotonously. I was completely disgusted by how disrespected I'd been but I could only blame the boy's upbringing for his view of women as objects they could claim. I wanted to blow up in his face but I was in his home and would much rather just leave. "Alright I get it." He concluded giving me one last glance and wandered off to join Maia across the room.
"Jesus I can't turn my back for a second." Jackson chuckled cradling my elbows. "This was suppose to be fun, I'm sorry." I shrugged out of his grasp wanting to leave now. I could tell my demeanor offended him and I felt guilty that I'd allowed him to get as close to me as possible only to push him away. He said he'd understood but I knew deep down this was hurting him. "I'll drive let's go." I decided, stealing the keys from his jacket pocket. He didn't say anything letting me lead us to the car. We drove in silence to the end of the road and I pulled back onto the main road when curiosity got the better of me. I made a sudden left turn onto Devon Ave.
Jackson wasn't paying much attention to our surroundings fiddling on his cell phone. My heart pounded against my chest and I felt the same closing in my lungs as before the closer we got. It was in view now and my hands were slick with sweat on the steering wheel as I pulled over in front of my old house. Jackson looked up confused that the car had stopped moving. I didn't say a word as I exited the car looking up at the place I'd grown up with a knot in my throat. Although he didn't say anything I felt Jackson behind me.
"Tor? We should go." I shook my head mesmerized by the place. "No, I'm okay." I tried to assure him but mostly needed the assurance for myself. I took a few steps toward the house only to be pulled back by the back of my jacket. "I said I'm fine okay?" I snapped to which he responded by shoving his hands in his pockets taking a step back not making eye contact. I turned back to the house and it looked vacant. I didn't assume anyone would want to move in knowing the history. I walked the driveway tracing my hands along my mothers flower bushes once I reached the path that led to the front door.
The door that had since been repaired of the splintering wood. The handle was guarded with a large lock only a real estate agent knew the combination to. I stood at the bottom of the entry stairs looking up too afraid to go any further. A bad memory started flashing in my head and I needed to leave now, I hurriedly turned away crashing right into Jackson. He steadied me holding onto my biceps looking at my face with an extremely concerned look on his face. "What are you doing Tori?" I shook my head taking a shaky breath unsure myself. He wrapped a comforting arm around me staring up at the large house I use to live in. "Damn." He chuckled. "We really come from different worlds." My heart sank remembering that Rayner had said the same thing before he ended things.
"I'd like to leave now." The longer I was here the more it hurt that I'd never set foot inside, or hear the laughter of my parents again. It didn't matter how much time passed I'd grieve for them for the rest of my life. He followed me back to the car with a hand on the middle of my back. I didn't make it to the car feeling the emotions overcoming me practically tripping me. Luckily Jackson was quick to pull me upright and into his chest. I let him hold me after fighting him all night needing his comfort. His thumb brushed the nape of my neck while he held my head to his chest his other arm wrapped firmly around me. "You're alright." He whispered next to my ear. I was able to fight the sob that wanted to escape.
I was able to brush away the few traitor tears and collect myself enough to drive us home in silence. We pulled into our usual parking space and I nearly had a heart attack as I put the car in park and saw the figure standing behind the car in my rear view mirror. An audible gasp escaped my lips, "What?" Jackson turned in his seat seeing what I saw.
Rayner.