Chapter 5. Flashback – Candy’s Letter to Patty
Dear Patty,
How are your studies going? Annie, Archie and I, we all miss you very much, and think of you often.
In your last letter you asked about Aaron and I.
Strange. I cannot say at which moment I fell in love with him. Over time, the situation between us just fell into place. Sometimes, I think that my love for him is not very different from my love for you, or Annie and Archie, or Albert.
But there are times when things are different.
Like Anthony, Aaron sometimes brings me flowers to surprise me. I am very touched by his tenderness.
He spent months planning a surprise birthday party for me. My birthday cake said “Sweet Candy” on it.
Last month, Mr. Baine, the town grocer, sold some rare Japanese green tea that he got from a hotel in Ann Arbor. It was very expensive. Mr. Baine let me smell the tea, and I only mentioned it once to Aaron that I would have loved to try some. But by the time Aaron tried to buy some from Mr. Baine, it was all sold out. Then on the weekend Aaron went all the way to the Ann Arbor just to get some for me as a gift.
When I am with Aaron, I sometimes wonder if this is how things would be like if Anthony was alive and we grew up together.
But I must stop thinking this way. Aaron is himself, not Anthony’s shadow.
As I get to know him, I find that I do like many things about him. He is always cheerful, and he brings happiness wherever he goes. He is the smartest person I have ever met. (Except for Stear, of course!) He would have gone very far in his career if he had gone on to Boston. His mother Jane and sister Cecilia, they have all become the family that I never had.
But, dear Patty, you are the only one to whom I dare to tell this. I know now that I need Aaron in my life because when I am with him, my heart always remains calm and steady.
When he holds my hand, I feel a steady calm and peace. That calmness is a like a shield that protects me.
Before, when he asked me to give us a chance, I asked myself if I can love again. Thinking of myself being in love, I can hear a vague sound of a beating heart. That sound beckons me to a place where I fear what I might find. I don’t want to go there. In that place there is a fire that I once knew but I fear to know again.
I was afraid that I would hear that sound again if I open myself to Aaron. But strangely, I do not. When I am with him…when he puts his arm around me, I feel safe.
So I want you to know, I am happy.
I will write again soon.
Always and with much affection,
Candy