Excruciatingly Correct Behavi...

By clarady

54.4K 6.2K 2K

More

Don't be forward when interested
Stay properly attired at all times
Always cover your mouth when you yawn
Still wagging tongues with impeachable decorum
To avoid scandal, have a chaperone at all times
"Please" and "Thank you"
Kneel before the king
Never show your emotions
Elocution is necessary -- especially in a crowd
Better to be a mystery than an open book
One simply cannot discourse without an introduction
Heathen-like, wild behavior is improper
Duelist's challenges are acts of honor
White lies are still deceit
Lorgnettes are for use at a opera only
Be sure to always step around puddles
Never speak in an inappropriate tone
Make sure the safety is on until it isn't
"And so he said unto the world"
No utensil should ever be heaped with food
Florid speech a politician does make
Shady corners promote bad behavior
One does not wear white tie to a brunch
Interruptions bring shame to all
Much can be said with no words
For a basic rib knit one, purl one
The thrill is in the chase
One hand should always cover the lid of a teapot
Never give money to panhandlers
Choosers aren't beggars
Money is never up for discussion -- it's strictly personal
Obey the law -- proven or not
Be polite to locals
Bloomers are hung on a line in the shade
The silent treatment indicates social downfall
Cakes are always handed to the eldest lady first
Smile in all wedding photos
A home is never empty
Never say "Goodbye", only "'Til next time"
You should never call after nine in the evening
Mercy is the sign of a great man

Miss Mary, never Mrs.

962 142 46
By clarady

Writers often write about what they know best.

So it really shouldn't be surprising that -- because of the prominence of a young female audience on Wattpad -- most stories are  about young women.

For some reason though, most of the young women are abused (notably take that abuse like it's part of their character to be alright with being beat up emotionally and physically), are permanently seeking approval from either young men or paternal figures (oh daddy issues, you plague us so), and, worst of all, are the most passive people you've ever met.

They are essentially all the same; they are all "too good" for the situation that they're in, and rarely do anything to help themselves.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Mary Sue.

A typical life history of said Mary Sue would be something like this:

 Brittany has it rough. She has no friends, lives in a war-zone, is a druggie, may or may not have murdered her family (she was high at the time), cuts herself, is missing an arm and a leg (which makes her miserable because she can't ride her favorite hot pink bike which -- whoops -- has just been stolen), her boyfriend beats her, was morbidly obese but went through a concentration camp, and she's just too good a human being for all this crap.

Of course, she also tends to have a name like Brittany or Tiffany or Crystal or something else completely pretentious (not to say that you are pretentious if that is your name. Your name just sounds pretentious. Sorry.). And quite frankly, I would never want to see her (unless she was riding a bike. That could really be hilarious) because she is a Mary Sue and Mary Sues are annoying.

Actually, Mary Sue is boring.

Why?

Because she's the perfect image of what our society thinks a woman should be.

Docile, submissive, incapable of independent thought, self-less to men yet entirely self-centered, and most importantly, pretty. (Ooo, I sound so peeved right now. This is great.)

And the result is boring.

Yep, straight up boring.

Because it's like watching a doll go through the motions. And women are not dolls. We are just as coherent, just as intelligent (or capable of intelligence. Benefit of the doubt, right?) as men. 

And, apparently, a lot of us are bright enough to figure out how to write stories.

So why the hell do writers (notably female writers) keep writing about Mary Sues?

I have no idea. Does anyone actually know?

Show a little pride, people. Gender doesn't determine your traits. There are men out there with "female" brains and women with "male" brains. Really. I've seen the studies and even did a few on the sly on here (and there goes my secret social experiment. Damn).

The only way to show the full spectrum of humanity is to let people write about people. Not life-less, boring dolls. 

Let those faults -- those essential, human faults -- shine through in your characters. Otherwise Wattpad will really drown under the weight of all those Mary Sues. And as pert as their buttocks may be, I really could go without.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

1K 178 77
some {Not so} Daily whines, diary entries and/or ranty chapters that I'm gracing the world of Wattpad with that are in fact 100% true some parts are...
6.7K 59 37
:)*completed*
6.9K 181 36
This book is discontinued. I'm gonna start posting on Tumblr now as wattpad is just too laggy for me. Tumblr is in bio