Well, really excited to see how you all like this chapter!
Moving on... 💃💃💃
"Words in double quotes" - Talking
'Words in single quotes' - Thoughts
(Words in braces) - Telephone conversations.
Chapter 10 - How Did I Fall For You?
Ragini sighed to herself and let her arms stay by her side instead of hugging Laksh back. She slowly removed herself from the hug and stepped back. Laksh, now back in his senses, rubbed away his tears and looked away.
"Laksh I...I should probably leave. It's getting late and Maa will be worried about me and Swara." Ragini explained, looking anywhere but at his eyes.
"Uh yea I...I can drop you both home if you want."
"It's okay. We can go on ou-"
"That would be awesome!" came Swara's voice from the door. "It will save our money as well."
"She's right. Let's go Ragini." Without giving a chance for Ragini to respond, Laksh moved out of the room with his car keys.
Ragini had no choice but to follow both of them. However, she didn't want to stay near Laksh after knowing that he was starting to like her. 'Whatever love I had for him is nothing but history. I've closed that chapter of my life now.'
She mechanically walked after them. Ragini saw Swara hold onto Laksh's arm as they kept walking towards the car. Laksh smiled and nodded at the end of each of her sentence. But Ragini knew him better. She knew he was forcing himself to keep a smile while Swara held on. 'After so much efforts, it seems Swara's starting to like him back. I can't let him create any problems because of his new found feelings for me.'
Swara's voice broke her of her thoughts.
"Ragini, you'll be sitting in the back seat, right? It's obvious Laksh would want me to sit beside him in the front seat." Swara boasted, trying to make Ragini jealous.
Ragini nodded with a smile and got in the back seat.
#On the road#
As Laksh drove the car, he couldn't help but keep glancing at the front mirror to see the reflection of Ragini. 'When I hugged her in my room, it felt so right. It was as if she belonged in my arms. She felt like home. She felt like peace. When I was in such distress, simply being close to her felt so calm. She was like the refreshing drizzle after a drought. I...I want to feel that happy feeling again.'
Feeling eyes on her, Ragini looked in front of her towards the front mirror to see Laksh looking at her. However, he adverted his eyes as soon as she looked at him. 'Why now Laksh? Why are you falling for me now? Why are you playing with so many lives!?' she shook her head of those thoughts and looked outside the car window. She had bigger problems than dealing with Laksh's immature actions. 'Sanskar Maheshwari. That's another person who I could never have imagine plotting something so wretched to hurt his own family. If only I can find out what actually happened somehow to Kavita. Only one person can solve this entire mess...Durgaprasad Maheshwari.'
Swara yawned bringing both of their attention to her. "Laksh, I feel so tired!" she leaned towards him and placed her head on his shoulder. "You're so comfy." she closed her eyes and smiled. In her heart, she was celebrating. 'Poor Ragini. I wish I could see her face right now. She might be totally green with jealousy. But knowing how much of a softy and cry baby she is, she's probably trying to hide her sobs. Tsk! So sad. I wonder when I became this bad.' In a corner of her mind, Swara knew what she was doing wasn't right. But after doing so many wrong things to spite Ragini, she felt no remorse over her actions. 'Ragini deserves it for trying to overshadow me.'
Laksh gripped the steering wheel harder. All he wanted to do was throw off Swara's head from his shoulder. 'This is the same girl that I was willing to die for. Now that she's near me, now that Swara likes me back, why don't I want to be with her? Why can't I be happy I got Swara?! Instead, all I feel is like I'm lost. So very lost!' Laksh gritted his teeth hard in anger and frustration at himself. He looked at Ragini in the mirror. 'Is the reason what I think it is?' Suddenly, he saw Ragini's eyes widen and she turned to look at him.
"Laksh, look ahead!"
On her shout, Laksh noticed a truck coming in their direction.
Laksh put his foot immediately on the brakes and tried to avoid the collision.
Aftet that, all that could be heard was the squeak of tires and a loud scream.
After sometime...
Laksh's fingers twitched as a bug crawled on his hand. Slowly, he opened his eyes and blinked to adjust to the daylight. He raised his head from the steering wheel and tried to recall what happened. As everything came to him, his eyes widened from fear and horror. 'Ragini!' Laksh turned his head to look back so fast, he was surprised he didn't give himself a whiplash. "Ra-Ragini? Ragini! Ragini, wake up!" he reached over and shook her. "Ragini?"
Ragini's eyes twitched as she slowly came back to consciousness. "Wh-what? What happened?"
"Are you okay Ragini?"
"I'm...I'm fine." She grabbed her forehead in pain. "Ouch, my head! It hurts a bit, but else I'm fine. You?"
"I'm okay."
Ragini nodded and looked towards the empty front seat. "Where's Swara?"
Laksh blinked in realization. So far, he had forgotten all about Swara in his worry for Ragini's safety. "I...I don't know."
"You don't know!? How could you not know? You were awake before me."
"I just woke up! She wasn't here when I opened my eyes. Trust me!"
"Then where did she go? We got to find her!" Ragini pushed open the door and got up. She stumbled and held onto to the car to prevent herself from toppling down on the ground.
Laksh abruptly got out of the car and went round to reach her. "Hey, wait! I'll go search for her. You should stay here and rest Ragini."
"She's my sister! I'm not leaving her in danger." Ragini straightened up with one hand still on her throbbing forehead, and the other on the car roof.
"Ragi-"
"Laksh! Ragini!" came a voice from behind them. They turned to see Swara approaching them with a water bottle. She smiled once she reached them. "You both are awake! Nice!"
"Where did you go Swara? You had us so worried!" Laksh admitted.
"Till what do you last remember Laksh?"
"Well, the last thing I remember is pulling the brakes and turning the car to the side."
Swara nodded. "I see. Well, you'll be happy to know that we didn't crash. You managed to steer the car away at the right moment. I was unhurt but I felt so afraid at that moment that I ended up screaming. We avoided the accident, but because of turning the car so fast, you hit your head on the steering wheel, while Ragini hit the back of my seat...hard."
Ragini chuckled. "That explains the bump on my head."
"Stop laughing! You could have been hurt real bad! Why didn't you put on your seatbelts Ragini? When did you start becoming so irresponsible!?" Laksh grit out. His worry for her was taking the form of anger.
"I didn't think we would face such a situation Lucky. Calm down. Besides, I didn't get badly hurt. It could have been worse."
"But you could have! What if you hit the glass window, huh!?" Laksh chided. He couldn't believe that Ragini was joking about something which could have been fatal for her.
Ragini sighed. "Okay okay." She held her ears to him and made an apologetic face. "Sowwy bestie. Forgive this clueless and immature girl?"
"And wreckless. And irresponsible!"
"Yeah. And beautiful." Ragini added playfully.
None of them noticed Swara gripping the bottle hard enough for it to break.
Laksh bit his lip to keep his smile from appearing. "Shut up! I'm trying to be angry on you here!"
Ragini giggled at his fake angry face. Her smile made Laksh's heartbeat flip and flutter. He looked at her soft lips which lightend up her heart-shaped face. 'She looks good when she smiles.'
Ragini's smile dropped when she noticed the change in his look. For a moment, she had forgotten that he no longer had only feelings of friendship towards her. Such banter which used to be innocent jibes between them now were only increasing his rising feelings. Ragini adverted her eyes and looked at Swara. "But where did you go off to?"
"Wow! At least you remember I exist." Swara let out scathingly.
"It's not that Swara. We wer-"
"I went to find the nearest gas station. Thought of getting some water for you both." Swara replied, cutting off her sentence rudely. "Here Laksh. Have some."
"Thanks Swara." He took the bottle from her with a smile. However, instead of drinking from it, he handed it to Ragini.
Swara balled her hands into fists. "I gave it to you first Laksh. You'll be the one driving us home. You need it more."
"It's okay Swara. I'll have it after Ragini."
As Ragini raised the bottle to her lips, she couldn't help but notice the bitterness in Swara's tone and expression. However, she let it go and thought of questioning her later at home.
#Night 8pm#
Laksh chuckled to himself as he watched the moon through the window in his room. "You're the same. You appear at night. The sun appears in the day. The earth goes round the sun and the stars shine at night. When I look at you, everything seems just the same as it was a month ago. Yet...yet, so much has changed. But one thing remains the same." He placed a hand over his beating heart. "My uncertain heart that feels lost and this unending feeling of loneliness. It's like...it's like everytime I shoot for the stars, I end up falling in the mud instead!" Suddenly, the lights of the room flicked on. "Maa? You here?"
Annapurna nodded. "Laksh? What's wrong with you?"
Laksh shook his head with a bitter smile. "You know Maa, right now, I don't even know what is wrong and what's right. In fact, it feels like the word 'wrong' had been invented because of me!" he punched the table in anger. It broke under his pressure. "Even this table seems to hold a limit to what it can handle. But I? I don't think I have a limit of how much wrong I can be."
Annapurna came near him and placed a hand on his arm. "What are you saying Laksh? I...I won't lie. I admit that there are many mistakes that you have committed. But none are so severe that you need to blame yourself so much."
"Then what am I supposed to do Maa? What am I supposed to do!?"
Annapurna brought him near the bed and made him sit there, while she sat beside him on the chair. "Tell me what's bothering you Laksh. Tell your Maa."
"Maa I...I did such a foolish thing Maa. I...I refused to accept Ragini's love. I realize it now Maa. I realize how much I hurt her. She loved me truly!"
Annapurna slowly realized what he was distressed about. "So you finally realized your biggest mistake, didn't you?"
Laksh nodded miserably. "I'm such a fool! I'm such a fool!"
"Ragini loved you truely. She was a girl who's heart you broke, whom you used, and yet she still loved you and wanted you to be happy. Yet you didn't realize the extent of he love. It was indeed foolish of you."
"I know Maa. And I didn't see anything wrong in it. After all, I loved Swara, didn't I? She was the one I wanted to have a future with. I couldn't see anyone else as a perfect partner for me other than Swara. I loved her. I did Maa, didn't I?"
"Only you can know that Laksh."
"No I don't! I don't know what my heart wants anymore! I'm confused, lost, distraught and totally patheitc to feel so because I'm the sole reason for my misery!"
Annapurna sighed. "Why are you bringing up all those things Laksh? What happened is past now. You can't change it even if you wanted to. Now, just look on ahead towards what you're going to do."
"You don't understand Maa. Something...something is happening to me. While all this time I was pursuing Swara's love, now that I'm getting close to her, I compare her to Ragini. Instead of her presence, it's Ragini that I want to spend time with. Every thought I have, each little thing that I notice, I...I relate it to Ragini." Laksh admitted, shocking Annapurna. "Maa, I share every thought with Ragini who's my best friend. But Maa I...I'm too afraid to go to Ragini this time and admit these feelings of mine."
Annapurna was still processing what Laksh had admitted about Ragini. Finally, her son was realizing his love for Ragini. "It's you realizing the truth Laksh. It's you finally knowing what true love is, instead of your infatuation for Swara."
"Infatuation? How can you be so sure Maa? What if my feelings for Swara are also of love?" Laksh laid his head on his mother's lap. Tears flowed down his eyes. "What do I do Maa? What do I do now? Whom do I choose? My mind says that it is Swara that I love as I have struggled so much to get her. But my heart feels like its being ripped apart when I think of a life without Ragini by my side."
Annapurna placed a hand on his head and ran a hand over his hair in a soothing way. "Only you can decide what your heart wants Laksh. But I can tell you only one thing. If you love two people, then you should choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you would have never fallen for another in the first place." she raised him by holding his shoulders and rubbed away his tears. "Sleep on it son. They say some answers to solutions come to us when we let our mind rest."
#Next morning, Gadodia house#
Ragini paced around her room in worry over the previous day's events. On one hand there was Sanskar's treachery which Laksh and the others didn't know about. And on the other hand, there was an uncertain Laksh. On top of that, Swara seemed miffed at her.
Ragini flopped down on her bed in distress. "What do I do? I see no easy solution to any of these matters!" she sighed in defeat. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed her sitar which she loved playing. 'I used to spend hours playing it before. Ever since Laksh and the Maheshwaris came into our lives, I totally neglected it.'
Ragini got up and sat near it. She picked up her sitar and placed it on her lap. She closed her eyes, showing it respect to it before beginning, and then began playing.
Soft melody flowed through the entire house as she kept playing.
Slowly, Ragini herself could feel her worries and tensions fade away into the back of her mind and a sense of peace settled over her being.
She was so lost in her playing that she didn't realize her phone ringing. It was only when she had paused that she heard it.
Ragini abruptly got up and picked the call without checking the I. D. "Hello?"
(Meet me at the beach Ragini. Come quick.) the line went dead after it.
Ragini looked at the phone in shock and bewilderment. 'What could Laksh want now? That too near the beach?' Ragini contemplated whether to go or not. At last she decided to leave for the beach and deal with the matter.
#Beach#
Ragini looked around the beach for Laksh. It was 6 in the morning. Hence, the beach was quite empty except for a few joggers and some kids.
She breathed in the salty scent of the environment. The sound of the waves hitting the rocks and the seagulls flying over the sea made her smile. Suddenly, she noticed a figure standing at a distance with his face turned towards the water. She easily recognized Laksh's figure.
Ragini approached him with leisure steps. "Lucky? Why did you call me here suddenly? Is something wrong?"
Laksh turned to look at her with a sad smile. The wind blew his hair astray, but he didn't pay it any attention. "Remember this place Ragini? This is where I first told you the truth that I don't love you. That's it's Swara that I love."
Ragini looked out towards the water and nodded. "I know. Funny how time passes so fast, isn't it?"
"It indeed does." Laksh agreed. "You know, at that time Swara meant a lot to me. When I used to wake up, the first name on my mind was Swara. When I dressed, I wore to impress Swara. When I went to sleep, the last thing I thought of was Swara."
Ragini looked at him pointedly. "Laksh, where are you going with this? Tell me directly." she asked coming straight to the point, although she had a wild assumption of what he was trying to express.
"The point is that it's changing Ragini. Just as these waves change their pattern on the sand with each passing, my feelings too are shifting." Laksh looked down at the waves hitting his feet. "I asked Maa what I should do yesterday. About my feelings I mean. She told me to sleep over it. It was supposed to help me realize that..."
Ragini swallowed the lump in her throat. She dreaded asking what he meant, but asked it anyway. "That?"
"That I've fallen for you Ragini. It was Swara who was my moon. The word that defined love for me was 'Swara'. Funny I never noticed when that word changed from Swara to Ragini."
Ragini stumbled back in shock. Although she had a hunch about it, she never expected him to voice it out to her so openly and so soon. "Lucky I th-"
"When I wake up now, the first word in my mind is Ragini. When I go out, the only thing in my mind is Ragini. When I go to sleep, my last thought is Ragini. You're also the one who occupies my dreams. How it happened? When it happened? I don't know. Only thing I know now is that I, Laksh Maheshwari, love you. I love you Ragini."
Ragini turned away from him and held her chest where her heart was. Laksh was speaking the words she once would have died to hear! His words was opening the wound she which she thought had healed. But now, nothing could stop the repressed feelings of pain, longing and sorrow that was breaking like water over a dam.
"Ragini, I made the biggest mistake of my life by not accepting you. I realize it now."
With each word of his, Ragini shrunk into herself, gritting her teeth hard to prevent her sobs from breaking out. 'You're past it Ragini! You're past that sorrow! You suffered as much you had to. You let it go, remember? Then why...why are his words affecting you so damn much!'
"Ragini? Say something, anything!" Laksh called out. He knew it was wrong for him to expect her to accept him readily. But he hoped his words could bring out her long lost love for him.
However, his belief was torn apart when he saw Ragini turn to look at him with tears in her angry eyes.
"Those words...those words which I had longed for so much you're saying it now? After everything that happened? What didn't I do to gain your love? To hear those words. But you never realized it."
"I know! I'm blaming myself each second for not realizing it sooner, trust me! I can't tell you how sorry I am. Please...please believe me."
Ragini nodded. She rubbed away her tears and composed herself. "It's good you realize it. I'm glad you no longer feel conflicted at heart Lucky. I'm really happy you are showing some maturity." Laksh smiled at her words, feeling she was starting to accept him. "However, I can't accept you."
Laksh's smile disappeared at her words. He felt like the earth under him had disappeared at her words. "Wh-what? Why?! I love you!"
"I know Lucky. But even the right words won't be acceptable if they're said at the wrong time in the wrong moment. You may love me, but I'm past that stage Lucky. Yes it's true I still care for you and feel something for you. But I won't give it the name of 'love'. Because I don't trust you to not break my heart again."
"But Ragi-"
"I loved you once. I loved you unconditionally! But you broke my heart and used me as a tool. Yet...yet, I loved you unconditionally with all those broken pieces of her heart. I am a girl who let you go no matter how much it hurt me just so that you could keep be happy. And yet, you didn't relaize the value of such a true love."
Laksh felt his own eyes well up with tears. Now, he could understand what pain and sorrow Ragini must have gone through. "Ragini, please give me one chance." he requested, taking steps towards her.
Ragini shook her head and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I really am. But I really don't want your love now Lucky."
Laksh's breath stopped on her words. 'Don't want my love? Don't want my...my love? Don't...want...' the same words kept ringing over and over in his mind.
"Lucky, I'm happy now. I thought love makes one happy. But now...now I'm happy without love. For me, love has taken a new definition. I think I love you as a best friend and that's it. I don't want your love anymore Lucky. I believe it will only bring me sorrow and pain. Instead, I want you to be happy, while I be happy in my own way. I no longer need you to fulfill my world Laksh. I'm happy without you. I may sound harsh, but it's the bare truth." Ragini turned away from him. She noticed one last tear fall from her eye.
Ragini removed it from her face with her finger and looked at it. "Let this be the last tear that we shed in these matters Lucky. Just as I forgave and forgot you, you should try to forget me. Swara is an amazing person. Be with her, love her, have a future with her. As for me, I'll always be there for you as your best-friend. That's the start, that's the end." she flicked the tear drop away. "Good bye Laksh. See you tomorrow. I hope you understood what I said and think it over."
As Ragini walked away from the beach, Laksh fell to his knees in misery. If she heard his sobs, Ragini didn't turn back. After all, he needed to be his own strength. Only then would he learn to be responsible for his actions.
As the moments passed like sand in one's grip, Ragini soon reached her home thinking about Laksh and his confession. The words that she longed to hear came to her, but it meant nothing now. They were just words composed of alphabets without any feeling behind it for her. However, Laksh's state still concerned her. She couldn't help but worry about him, although she did what she thought was best for him.
She could have accepted his love for his sake. But she knew she no longer felt the same. It would be cruel to make him dream about their future together when she didn't feel the same. So better nip it in the bud.
After all, nothing could be more cruel than ending ending a dream midway. She knew it from what she went through after Laksh betrayed her.
To rid herself of her racing thoughts, Ragini sat down to play the sitar. However, she found it hard to concentrate. So she kept it aside and began singing.
"🎶 Tum mere ho iss pal mere ho...
Kal shayad ye alam naa rahe...
Kuch aisa ho tum tum naa raho...
Kuch aisa ho hum hum na rahi... 🎶 "
Elsewhere, Laksh looked at the rising sun. "So this is what a true heart break feels like? This is what I made Ragini go through?"
Ragini lost herself to singing in her room. "🎶Yeh raaste alag ho jaaye
Chalte chalte hum kho jaaye... 🎶"
Elsewhere, on the beach, Laksh gripped his chest in sorrow. Tears flowed profusely from his eyes. He closed them, but they still kept flowing. Heart-wrenching sobs left him, while the tears flowed past his mouth and fell to the ground.
"🎶 Yeh saath hamesha hoga nahi
Tum aur kahi mein aur kahi... 🎶 " Ragini sang with a smile, forgetting her sorrows, losing herself to the music.
Elsewhere, Laksh let out a scream for what he had but lost because of his foolishness. "So I guess this is my poetic justice. I got what I made her go th." he hit the rock in anger so hard that it bleed as it hit the edge. But it didn't hurt as much as his heart did at the moment.
"🎶 Lekin jab yaad karoge tum
Main ban ke hawa aa jaungi oh..
Iss chahat mein mar jaungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi... 🎶 "
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The end...
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Hehe.. Joking. 😉👍
TO BE CONTINUED...
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~ 🌹 Mona 🌹