Dearest Diary,
Christmas is round the corner and I must admit I am feeling pretty nervous.
Troy is going to be here any time now and I am not sure how that will go, especially with my crazy sister still prowling around.
Briella is also going to school in two weeks and that’s another cause to be nervous. I don’t know how my parents did it and twice for that matter, because the idea of leaving my child in a totally new environment and with total strangers is pretty daunting.
I know I should be proud, but the voices around me are too loud that it is hard to feel anything else other than fear. Apart from that I am glad with the progress I am making and yea, I am now a Landlord!
Oh! That’s spelt landlady, but I am sure you get the gist of what I am saying.
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"Daddy!" Briella shouts gleefully as her father's figure emerges from the crowds of people flocking the arrivals terminal at Jomo Kenyatta International airport.
I close my word app and watch as her father loops an arm around her tiny form, before hauling her up into his arms in a crushing bear hug.
"I missed you!" The toddler says in an accusatory tone and I can't help but smile.
"I missed you too Princess." Her fathers says flicking her nose with a finger and Shea laughs beside me.
Troy's attention shifts from his daughter to the rest of the welcoming committee and a grin forms on his face as he advances towards us.
"Hey," he says putting Bri down and I smile as I am engulfed in a bear hug of my own.
"You're getting slow." Troy says and I pull away to give him a puzzled look.
" Bri beat you to the gates."
I finally grasp his meaning and my lower lip pulls into a pout. Shea bursts out laughing and Troy turns to face her.
"Hi Shea."
"Hi," she responds shaking his hand in greeting. "So it's true. I had my doubts but now its confirmed."
"I am sorry we had to be so sneaky. Your sister here loves to cover herself in a shroud of mystery."
"That's true. She has an uncanny ability for keeping secrets."
My jaw drops and I narrow my gaze at my sister.
"When you are done talking about me as if I am not here, you'll know where to find me." I tell them, walking towards Bridget. Troy calls after me, but I ignore him, my mind turning over Shea's words.
My mind drifts to all my conversations with my sister and anything that I might have said to convince her that I have more secrets, but I come up empty.
I mentally skim through all the files in my laptop, but I am sure that all there are jusr manuscripts belonging to an anonymous author or under my pseudonym. For all I know, my sister thinks that my writing is a fruitless hobby and all my income comes from my consulting job.
My mind is brought back to the present by the slamming of Bridet's trunk and I turn to find Shea securing Bri in her carseat.
"Some things never change."
"Probably because they are not meant to."
My sister rolls her eyes at my retort, but holds her tongue when Troy opens the front door to ride shotgun.
"You can't run away forever." He tells ma and I scoff.
"That sounds like a line from a horror movie."
Troy grins back at me and butterflies flatter in my chest. Blushing, I start the engine and throw the vehicle into reverse before drive out of the parking lot.
"So, school?" Troy says looking back at Bri who is strapped in her carseat. By brow furrows at the statement and a shiver racks my body causing my foot to accidentally press on the brake peddle.
My passengers are jerked forward and Troy shoots me a worried look as Shea raises her voice in protest.
"Hey, I thought you were done with that?" She says referencing my previously crappy driving skills.
"Sorry." I reply, shooting Troy a nervous look and he returns it with a studious one.
My eyes swing back to the road as I am unwilling to go beyond my pitiful apology and explain myself. I release my foot from the brake peddle grateful that there are no drivers, driving behind me, otherwise I would have incited a roadrage.
Unaware of the tension that is racking me, my daughter picks up the conversation describing our shopping expeditions in details. I shudder as my mind wanders back to the said expeditions that involved a frazzled mother, excited toddler and a difficult teenager, moving from store to store scouring the city for uniforms and supplies.
Every once in a while Shea chips into the narration to correct a minor detail or add information, but I remain silent, choosing to focus on the road and the Hillsong lyrics playing on Bridget's stereo.
¤♡¤
"So, you found a school?" Troy asks dropping into the settee beside me.
"Yea, there are several international schools in the country. We narrowed them down to a few, visited the places but she chose one."
"She showed me her uniform." Troy says laughing.
"She's excited about it." I reply taking a sip of my cocoa. I feel his gaze on me, but I look away staring at the black screen before me.
"How are you not tired?" I finally say.
"Jetlag. I am supposed to be waking up right now."
I nod doing some mental math concerning hours and time zones.
"Either way, you should try and get some rest."
I hear him scooting closer and his fingers wrap around my much darker ones.
"What's up? Why are you sounding so low?"
I heave out a sigh and turn to face him. His green eyes bore into mine and I feel myself tearing up.
"Aren't you scared?" I whisper, choking back worried tears.
"About what?" He replies softly and his hand rises up to wipe a stray tear. It lingers on my cheek, caressing it and I find my head leaning in to his touch.
"Bri?"
A slow smile forms on his face and his gaze falls on our entwined hands. His thumb brushes over my wrist, before his eyes trail up to meet my gaze again.
"Sometimes. But we cannot stop her from growing. She's smart and intelligent and she will definately be okay. I am not a Bible whiz like David, but I am sure fear is not the way to go about it."
"He told you?" I exclaim and his smile turns into a full blown grin.
"I am going to tan his hide!" I reply my mind going back to that conversation with David, while we were standing before the altar.
"Technically speaking, he has no hide, but it's good to know that you tried to turn one of my closest friends against me."
"I did not!"
"You did not pull your big brother trick like you do on Dominic?"
"I do no such thing!" I pout and he flicks my nose, before placing a kiss on my forehead.
"You're so adorable when you do that." Troy laughs, intertwining our hands again, but I am not amused.
"Take that back!"
"What? That you're adorable?"
"No." I riposte hitting his chest with my free hand. "You know that's not what I am talking about."
"So, you want me to call you adorable?"
"Troy..." I groan beginning to feel restless. " If you continue being this difficult, I am going to walk away and leave you here alone."
"Sorry." He replies still smiling. "But you have to admit, that took your mind off your worries."
"Yea, I guess. It's not an inspiring Bible verse, but it will do."
I tell him and he lets out another chuckle.
"So, what do you have planned for Christmas?" Troy asks.
"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"Uhmm...I have a surprise for you. Wait here." He says standing up and I assume he's taking the flight of stairs to the guestroom. Instead, he enters the kitchen and I hear the light switch turn on. A cupboard door opens and closes and the man walks back into the living holding a small black box in his hands.
"You didn't have to." I say assuming that it's some sort of jewellary. Troy used to get me those back when we were dating and a lot of other gifts as some sort of memorabilia.
"You don't even know what it is."
"Jewellary?" I ask shaking the box that he has handed to me. It jingles and I assume that I am correct.
"Why don't you just open it instead of resulting to such uncouth methods?"
I give him a stink eye, but still take his advice and open the box.
"Keys? Keys." I state, feeling lost and he nods.
"A bunch of keys. Now you just have to wait until tomorrow to find out the rest."
To say that I don't sleep well after that would be an understatement. I spend the night tossing and turning with a few nightmares tucked in between.The theme of my dreams is the same. I find myself dreaming of misplaced or lost keys and the terrible things that happen afterwards.
As a result, I wake up to a completely trashed bed, the outcome of my restless sleeping and my emotions are all over the place.
One look at my reflection and I almost run away. My hair is fizzy from sweat and too much turning and my eyes are bloodshot. A hot shower and an effective hairbrush later, most of my symptoms are relieved, but the puffy eyes remain even as I descend the stairs to enter the dining room.
"You look well..." my sister tells me, taking in my appearance with a hint of amusement in her voice.
"I wish that were true. I have had a most terrible night ."
"From the bags under your eyes I assume that Troy gave you the keys?"
"You know about that?" I cry out, turning to look at the guilty faced Troy lounging on a sofa, entertaining Bri and her Barbie dolls. He smiles at me and Maggie chuckles at my expression.
"You too?" I turn to ask her, but she just smiles and returns to pick at her food.
"I am sorrounded by traitors. All of you! I feed you, house you and this is what you do to me?" I yell, pointing at the bags under my eyes and they all laugh. Even little Briella giggles and it annoys the heck out of me. I know I am just being dramatic, but that's who I am. I drift between all the extremes present in the crazy spectrum.
"Fine. If you traitors need me I'll be in my study being all sweaty and nervous because I do not like surprises!"