-Isabella's POV:-
"Isi baby? Baby this isn't healthy! Please open the door. Please I'm worried. Look please talk to me, I-I need to know you are okay. Isi?"
Two days. It's been two days since the truth has been told. Two days the truths been eating away at me. Two days I have been locked in my room.
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my father for it. But how can I face him; Knowing that my mother did that to him. His brother, my biological "father" did that to him. I feel ashamed and disgusted. With my mother, my biological "father", with myself.
I also just want to sit and think. Is that so wrong?
After a final attempt to talk to me, which lead to me still ignoring my father, he leaves.
Do I still call him that? Dada? Do I still call him that? How can I? With what right can I.
It's these sort of thoughts that keep eating away at me.
I feel a vibration on my bedside table. Again. I ignore it. Again. I don't wish to communicate with anyone thus ignoring everyone. Yet they don't get the hints and my phone keeps buzzing.
I feel a knock on my door followed by a voice. A voice I haven't heard in a few days.
"Isabella?" Adam knock gently and asks.
"Isabella? Can you open the door please? Please? It's just me".
Unsure of what to do, I ignore the knock and Adams presence.
"Isabella, I know you can hear me and I know your listening yet choosing to ignore me. Please just open the door so we can talk".
Again I ignore.
After a few minutes I hear him exhale loudly and I hear footsteps. Thinking he's gone, I lay on my pillow and think. As usual.
As my eyes close I hear a loud knock.
"ISABELLA! It's Everett!!!" I hear Adam shout. Upon hearing his words I panic and immediately rush to the door opening it.
"What do you mean?! What happened?! Is she okay?! Oh my god! We need to go n-"
Adam pushes me into the room and locks it.
"Everett's fine Isabella! Calm down!"
Feeling confused as well as annoyed I ask "then what was that?"
Adam scratches his neck nervously before looking away from me.
"I needed you to open up and I figured saying something like that would make you open up"
Feeling angry and annoyed, both at Adam and myself, I storm over to him and begin shouting.
"Are you really this stupid! How dare you! How dare you toy with my feelings. How dare you lie. How dare you think this as some joke. How da-"
"Isabella calm down. That's how I feel. Upset and angry when you ignore my calls, texts, when I try talking to you. That's how worried I g-"
"Oh so this is some form of payback! Is this you getting back at me?! Is t-"
"Stop! Don't you dare say anything else! I had to do something because I care so much about you! I was flipping worried about you and you wouldn't open up. What did you expect. You had everyone worried!"
I stayed quiet. What could I say. Feeling the tears fall from my eyes I wipe away at them.
"Well what do you want?" I ask weakly.
"I want to see if your okay. I want to know what's wrong. I want to know why you haven't been to school. Why you haven't been talking to me or to anyone. I want to know what's been going on. Please. I can't watch you break. I can't watch you isolate yourself and ignore everything and everyone else. Please" he responds looking tired as well as frustrated.
"I-I can't" I reply. I felt weak and sick. I didn't want to say or do anything. I felt ashamed.
"Yes you can Isabella and you will. For me please"
Turning away from him I sit on my bed. Head in my hands, feeling defeated, exhausted and fed up.
I think it's about time I tell Adam the truth.
-.-.-.-.-.-
"I-I'm so sorry to hear this Isabella"
Adam responds looking pitifully at me after I tell him about my mother, the abuse I went through, my fathers illness, the families secret. Everything. And it felt good to get it off my chest.
I didn't respond but put my hands over my face and cry. It's all I could do.
I felt hands go around my waist bringing me over to Adams chest. He lays me on his chest speaking calming words.
"It's not fair Adam. Why me? Why couldn't I have died? Why did I have go through this? Why did my dada have to? It's not his fault and he's suffering. I hate her so much" I cry into his chest.
"Shhhh babe, shh. It'll get better soon. I promise. I'm here"
I continue to silently sob. Until my body gives out and I fall into unconsciousness.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Waking up I notice a pair of blue eyes staring at me intently followed by my father sitting on the edge of my bed looking worriedly at me.
"Hey how you feeling?" Adam asked whilst softly stroking my cheek. I lean into it and reply "I'm feeling better thanks"
I sit up and notice my father hesitating before asking "Isi?"
"Dada" I move from my place and engulf my father in a hug. I don't care that he isn't my biological father but he is my dada. Always has been and always will be and nothing could ever change that.
"I'm so sorry baby. So sorry" he replied hugging me tighter whilst sniffling.
"It's okay. It's not your fault dada. I'm sorry for putting you through so much"
"Shh don't be silly. Come on wash up and I'll make you something to eat. Then we will talk baby"
After my father leaves I turn to Adam who is sitting awkwardly on my bed.
"Thank you"
He looks up at me curiously. "What for?" He asks looking confused.
"For being here. Both last night and now. It means a lot"
He gets off of my bed and walks over to me.
"I'll always be here. Now come on lazy bum, go shower and I'll meet you downstairs okay?" I smile and nod. He cups my cheeks, both sides, leans forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead. I smile at him once he moves back.
"See you in a bit" he responds whilst stroking my cheek. Again I nod and move away. He smiles before leaving the room.
Picking out some joggers, undergarments and a top, I leave to have a shower.
-.-.-.-.-.-
"Isabella rose carter! There is no need for you to feel this way because non of this is your fault! You don't need to feel ashamed because of something that happened so long ago! This wasn't your fault so there is no need for you to feel this way!" My father repeats for the nth time. Yet it doesn't sink in and I feel guilty.
"But dada i-"
"Don't you dare finish that sense Isi! And I mean it!" My father responds giving me a stern look.
I gulp and look at Adam whose sitting there nodding his head agreeing with my father.
"Isabella, your fathers right. It isn't your fault. You had no control over fate or gods plans or whatever, so you can't blame yourself"
"How can I not Adam, it was "them" who caused so many problems. It was because of them that my dada had to suffer. It was because of them that led to my father being broken hearted. It was them that led my life being broken and a lie! It was because of them that I was born! And since then my dadas had to suffer for their mistake by looking at me, bringing me up and so on. So how can I not feel guilty! I wish to god I had died in that car crash when my so called "mother" died in! I-"
"Isi! baby what on earth are you on about! How dare you! how dare you blame yourself, how dare you feel guilty and how dare you talk as ridiculous as that! Despite everything you are still my daughter! So how do you think I feel when my daughter talks like that! have you ever thought about that?!" My father responds both flabbergasted and frustrated.
I don't say anything knowing I'd make matters worse. I wipe my tears and stand up. I didn't want to listen to anything. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.
As I turn my body to walk upstairs u hear Adam talking.
"Isabella? come on I'm taking you out to get some fresh air and for you to clear your mind. Being cooped up into your room isn't helping"
I didn't respond yet kept on walking in hopes of Adam leaving without me.
"I'm not leaving if that's what you think! I'm staying and waiting until you get ready and come down"
I again ignore him but go upstairs to get ready. I agree that I needed to get away for a bit.
Not in the mood to bother with my appearance, I leave my grey joggers on and my white tank top and just grab my fathers grey hoodie, put on my vans and tie my hair into a bun.
I leave my room and head downstairs where Adam is waiting in the living room.
"Oh hey, going somewhere?" Adam asks cockily.
Rolling my eyes I turn to my father.
"I'll see you later dada. Take care and make sure you eat and take your medication on time"
"I'll see you later Isi. And I will mother. Adam? You look after my daughter!" My father says giving a stern look towards Adam after rolling his eyes at me.
I see Adam gulp and nod. "Of course sir. I'll take care of her. Thank you and see you later. Shall we leave Isabella?"
I feel my heart drop when he says mother but ignore it since I didn't want anything else to happen.
So I nod and give my father a hug. "Take care Isi"
"You too dada" he nods in response before allowing us to leave.
Once we were settled into the car, I place my head onto the window and allow Adam to drive me to wherever.
After 10minutes we arrive outside this diner.
"Come on Isabella"
I nod and get out of the car. Is it bad that I'd rather just stay at home and ignore everyone? Including Adam?
We walk into the diner and find two window seats.
"Hi welcome to 'Daines diner'. What would you guys like to order?"
Jeez we've just sat down.
"Urm I'd like a coffee, no milk, two sugars with a chicken sandwich please. And what would you like Isabella?"
"Nothing thanks" I respond before going back to gazing out the window.
"Can I just order another chicken sandwich with some apple juice please. Thank you."
"Sure. Does that complete your order?"
"Yes thank you"Adam responds.
I hear the lady leave and feel Adam looking at me.
"Can I help you?" I ask irritatedly.
"Yes as a matter of fact"
"Well?" I ask expectantly.
"Look, I hate seeing you like this. So could you please smile?"
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint but after finding out the shit I did, I don't feel like smiling. I'm sorry you don't understand how I feel!"
I feel Adam tense before responding back.
"As a matter of fact I do! I have lost a parent as well okay?! So it's not just you!" He responds harshly but after a few minutes I see the regret.
"Yeah? Well it's only a matter of time where I'll lose my other one! You still have one but I don't even know if I'll have my only parent by the time my next birthday comes!" I respond angrily whilst glaring at him.
Whilst glaring at him, I hear the clicks of shoes and look to my left and see the waitress coming over with our food.
I still continue glaring at Adam whilst the waitress places our order on the table.
"I hope you enjoy and feel free to give me a shout if need be" she speaks joyfully oblivious to the tension between Adam and I.
"I'm sorry. I just was trying to make you feel better but instead I made things worse" Adam responds looking guilty and sad once the waitress leaves.
I sigh and respond "it's not your fault. Can we just forget it?"
"Yeah sure. So, when will you be back at school?"
I shrug.
"Maggie and Josh have been worried about you"
I shrug. Again.
"Everett's been asking for you"
I begin to shrug but look up at the mention of her name.
"How is she? Especially after what happened?"
"She's okay, getting there but I know she's missing you"
I nod and look down at my uneaten sandwich before taking a sip out of my drink.
And that's how we spent our time. Adam asking me questions and me either shrugging or responding once or twice.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
After we left the diner, we drove to this near by park. I was glad in fact, despite us making mild chatter in the diner it was a bit awkward.
Walking around the park, I took in the peaceful scenery of kids playing, couples laughing amongst themselves, old people looking peaceful and content with their partners and then the few who were sitting around alone reading books or listening to music.
"Peacefull right?" Adam asks.
"Mmhmm" I reply.
"I remember a similar park back from where I used to first live. We used to go there all the time after going to the diner that was near there. Me,my parents and Everett. Then of course the problems begun and we stopped. We used to sit near the ducks so that we could feed them the food we used to bring. I remember one time a duck chased Everett around the area because she had the food and didn't give the ducks. I remember her tears and screams as she cried for my father. I remember how my father went to her aid by picking her up and taking the food and giving the ducks. I remember it was at that park my parents declared my mother was pregnant. I remember it was at that park where my parents first argued. I remember it was at that park my father brought us to before he left and never looked back. And I didn't go back to that park ever. In fact I didn't go to any park after that. Of course today was after a long time. I guess this park brought back so many memories"
I looked over to Adam who looked lost in his memories. His face looks peacefully yet pained.
It's surprising how even though Adams been through a lot he doesn't show it as much. It just goes to show how strong and brave he was.
I felt privileged to know he was telling me something personal since he knows about me but I don't know much about him.
"I'm sorry" I replied. What could I say? I just felt sorry to know a great guy like him went through something like that.
"What for?" He responded looking curiously at me.
"I should have been more understanding of you instead of focusing on myself only" and it was true. I made the past few hours, days and weeks based on me without even thinking of him.
"It's fine. It's not your fault Isabella" he gazed into my eyes where I could see mixed emotions. Pain, anger, upset, happiness, peace, love?
I didn't realise that Adam had moved closer to me as well as me moving closer to him.
"I know but I shouldn't have been "me, me and me" all the time"
"There's nothing wrong with that Isabella" Adam responds his lips not even a hair width away.
"Bu-"
And before I could respond or move away, Adams lips were upon mine, moving softly against my own.
His hands wove around my waist holding me in place whilst mine went around his neck locking them.
It felt amazing and peaceful yet the kiss wasn't wanting or greedy. It was soft and it expressed just how much we needed each other. Not just at this moment but maybe forever?
But before we could get carried away we pulled apart slowly. Adam places his forehead against mine and looks deeply into my eyes. No words were said but it was like he was searching my soul. For what, only he knows.
He holds my tighter yet softly against his chest whilst I keep my hands around his neck.
"Isabella?"
"Mmmm?"
"Why do I feel like we have an audience?"
"I turn my head slightly whilst Adam does the same before noticing we indeed do have an audience. I blush and hide my face in his chest whilst I hear the crowd clap, cheer, coo and some even giggle.
This just makes me blush more and I hide my chest further.
Adam chest rumbles suggesting that he finds the situation amusing but I find it embarrassing since we got caught.
But actually, What is happening or going on between Adam and I?
Could something actually happen between us?
Why do I feel really strong emotions towards him?
Could I actually like him?
What if he feels the same?
I guess time will have the answer to that but until then I wish to enjoy this beautiful moment.
_________________________
OMG!
Firstly to begin with I am so sorry for the delay but my exams are finally over! Yay!
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-CreativeAysha :)