Hey!
It makes me so happy when I find people actually liking my work and encouraging me.
You want an early update? Encourage me. That makes me want to update faster. Seriously, not kidding.
For those of you who are very observant it might feel like this book is written by two different people. But trust me I am only one.
Yes this book is totally childish in the start. I was young when I started. With no command over writing whatsoever. And you feel like it because I'm a fast learner. And I learned to write better eventually. I learned better in this book only. That is why you see the difference.
Those who didn't observe: read this chapter. Then go read any chapter in between 8-20... I guess. You'll see what I'm talking about.
GOAL: 200 VOTES!
Warning: get some tissues. There's going to be flooding. I guess.
Enjoy reading!
|🌀|CHAPTER: 60|🌀|
In my life I had never visited a wedding. Remember my parents were embarrassed of me and didn't take me with them to any events? Even though I was a nerd, I did watch some movies and television series to know little about marriages.
Like I had seen, I established Richard would accompany me down the aisle. Because no matter how much he hated me, he had to keep up a show in front of his dealers and the media. But then I figured his hatred for me was huge. Those dealers and media for which he was making my life a hell were nothing against his hatred for me. Because he wasn't there to accompany me. He wasn't there with me.
I walked out of the car, my heart beating at an abnormally fast rate. Most of all, I was scared. I was scared and there was no one to hold me. Mother arrived in another car earlier, leaving Maddy and Lia to accompany me.
Why was I alone then?
Well, Lia and Maddy had their own plans. They deserted me with the reason that they needed time to workout whatever plan (which I very well knew did not exist) they had of stopping my marriage.
"Promise me, whatever it is that you're going to do, that doesn't harm my Carter. Promise that," I had demanded before leaving the house. And they assured me that Carter will be untouched in any of those plans formulating in their minds. Because in anything they'd do, if Carter was not safe, there would've been no point of me bearing all the pain.
"And also take care that Lucas doesn't get hurt. He doesn't deserve this. Whatever you do Maddy, Lucas should be informed earlier. You can't just trick him into something you just came up with. He deserves better than this, you know that...."
I knew Lucas was a genuinely nice guy. He didn't deserve to be cheated on twice. After what his ex, Anna did, he had been broken. And I didn't want to be the one to cause him more pain. I didn't want him to face all of that again. I didn't want to hurt him.
"Sophie, be truthful with me, okay? You don't have any such plans, right?" Lucas turned his gaze towards me as we stood before the red signal.
"No, no! God, no! I would never do that. Even if I would want to I would've told you first. And I promise I have no such plans. I can't have such plans. Carter has moved on and is with no one else but your own sister. I can't do that even if I want to. And I would never want to do something that would mean putting Carter's life in danger."
"I'm sorry. I know you're nothing like Anna. I just, I thought it might be possible. . . you know? And look at me now! I've got you as my soon-to-be-bride. Can I be any luckier?" Winking in my direction he said.
There was that loneliness and need in his eyes that made me feel guilty for even thinking to do something of that sort. Of course I couldn't run away like his Ex but I really hoped for something miraculous to happen. And I felt guilty for hoping.
"Nothing of that sort is going to happen. I won't trick Lucas into anything. Nor will we do something that will harm your Carter. Now if you do not leave, who knows what your wonderful Daddy Dicktard would do?" Maddy replied.
So there I was, standing, staring at the huge gates of the hall, resenting my so called father's absence. My eyes caught my Mom walking out of the hall, her eyes trained on her phone. "Sophia, you're here," she let out, her eyes moving around as if she was searching for someone.
"What is it Mom?"
"Richard is not here yet. Who will escort you to the stage now?" My eyes instantly got filled with tears. Tears that couldn't be shed. Tears that were because of the pain my father's absence had caused. No matter how much I had started to loath him, moments like these did not happen often. And as bad as he was, I still belonged to him. He was still my father biologically. I was still his blood. I wouldn't have been dancing with joy if he were here with me, but his absence did hurt a lot.
Knowing that after all I was sacrificing for the sake of his business, he didn't even consider it important to walk me down the aisle increased my heart-ache.
"Mom, was his hatred so big that he couldn't even escort me to the door of the hell he was throwing me in?"
"Sophie, he told me he would come," Mom said, attempting to call him again.
A humourless laugh escaped my lips, "but he isn't here, is he?" Silence followed my question because we both knew Richard was not there. It was hurting the both of us. And I was sure he didn't give a flying fuck about it.
"You know what Mom? Call Rebecca and the both of you will escort me," mustering up the courage, I let out.
"Rebecca and I? Won't the media question?"
"Let them. Richard should have known-"
Mom didn't let me finish. "Maybe we should wait a little more for your father?"
"What father Mom? What father? The one who doesn't give a fuck if I live or die? The one who hates me with everything in him?"
"No Mom. I don't want him. Call Rebecca, will you? And if you're not willing, I have no issues going by myself." With a firm tone, I let out. "I've gone through much worst stuff in my life alone. There was none of you around. So this isn't new for me. I can handle this alone..."
"Dear, calling Rebecca would be... inappropriate... uh, you, I mean... I can-" Mom started to say.
"No Mom. You're wrong. Calling Rebecca would be the most appropriate thing right now. You both were not with me the whole life anyways. Rebecca was. She brought me up. And I need her here." I let out, regretting my words the moment I saw hurt flashing in mom's eyes. A miserable feeling settled in my heart as I realized my mistake. I had broken her heart.
She didn't let me apologize. "Honey, you- uh- I- I'll call Rebecca, okay?" With that she sprinted off into the hall.
I looked up into the sky, trying to not shed any tears.
"What do you see in the sky?" Josh had asked me once.
"I see God in the sky. In the sky, I see hope," I had replied.
I still saw that. I still saw God. I was still able to see a ray of hope. "I've left everything upon you," I breathed out. After all that had happened, I was still hoping. And I was afraid I would keep hoping all my life.
It was hard.
It was hard to keep hoping.
It was hard to wait around for something I knew might never happen; but it was even harder to give up when I knew it was everything that I wanted.
"Sophie, dear, are you okay?" Rebecca's voice filled my surrounding as I turned to face her.
"I just don't know how I feel anymore. Let's just say, I've been better," I sighed.
"Where are the bridesmaids? I don't see Lia and Maddy..." she searched the car for the both. Those girls had promised me they'll reach soon but they were nowhere to be found yet. "I don't think they are going to come...."
I didn't have my father.
I didn't have my bridesmaids.
I didn't have the guy I wanted to marry with waiting for me.
I loved already how my marriage was going to turn out.
My eyes met with my mother's confused ones. "You can still run away...," she suggested. My lip quivered as I heard her.
"What would be the point of bearing all this pain then, Mom? I want Carter untouched. And this is the only way. This marriage will proceed without Richard, Lia and Maddy." I declared, looking around to control my eyes from leaking.
There were cars parked everywhere, shining under the sunlight. But a certain Mercedes caught my attention. My eyes couldn't help but linger on the flowery decorations that stood out on the thing.
"Just married!" The heart shaped decoration, displaying these words made my heart race with craziness. It made me want to die the next moment. It made me want to run away from this world. It made me want to destroy myself.
Both Rebecca and mom noticed how I was feeling because the next thing I knew, I was being hugged by Rebecca followed by mom. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts together and sort my feelings out.
If this torture had to happen why delay it? The flood was bound to hit me. Then why not let the flood hit me already? Let it drown me completely without wasting time?Let it drown me already? Let it kill me without so much of pain? Why not let it end me and take me away with it soon? The sooner the better. With this thought in mind, I walked towards the door.
"Anyways, you both are going to escort me. And this marriage will happen without the presence of Richard."
"Richard Anderson is not allowed in the ceremony, got it?" I continued towards the guards. Mom and Rebecca slipped their hands in either of mine and looked at me with encouraging smiles.
Both of the guards shared unsure glances while remaining silent. "I asked something. It's my wedding and I'll have it how I want it. Is it clear?!"
"Totally, ma'am!" Both of them bowed their heads opening the wide doors for us. The mixture of voices were heard just as I entered the hall. I could clearly see candles lit here and there. White and purple flowers were used to decorate the surroundings.
A sweet song started, catching everyone's attention. Slowly, all of them turned to look at me as they started to stand up. Soon each and every person in the hall was standing, their attention on me, like I was a precious diamond on display.
I felt exposed. Like they could see through me. I was afraid of their judgmental thoughts. It wasn't like I was the prettiest girl in this world. Not even a minute passed and the crowd erupted in murmurs, not intending to quiet down anytime soon.
"I told you, Sophie..." mom whispered in my ear, tightening her hold on my upper arm as she tried to console me. It was not long before all the cameras turned towards us, blinding me with their flashes. I stood there, unable to move. Rebecca and mom understood my position and stopped as they pretended to pose for the camera.
Courage, heart.
Strength, heart.
Power, heart.
Hope, heart.
Faith, heart.
Patience, heart, patience.
I gathered up all the courage and looked straight towards the stage. Ignoring all of the murmurs and plastering a fake smile on my face, I started making my way ahead. In my way, a guy presented me a bunch of flowers. People around showered me with fake compliments but I saw too senseless to acknowledge them or reply to them.
You won't cry Sophia. You're strong Sophia. Do it for Carter. Do it for your love.
Lucas's face became clearer and clearer the nearer we went. I wished for this aisle to never end until I die walking. I wished to keep walking but never reach the mountain of hell ahead.
No matter how much I was against it, the way did end. And I knew very well there was no way back. Mom and Rebecca gave me warm side hugs and left to take their seats. Lucas, who was dressed in a black suit, stretched out his hand for me. I looked up to meet his smiling face. He looked happy, his eyes not showing any signs of hurtfulness.
I tried to smile back but my lips couldn't curl up. They wouldn't curl up. With his help, I came up, completely facing him.
My mind had stopped registering what was happening. It was as if my brain had been blocked. I could not think. I could not function. Like my brain had entered into a slumber.
It was brought out of the sleep by Lucas. His finger touched the area under my eye. And gone was the smile from his face. Gone was the sparkle of his eyes, replaced by something similar to what my eyes might've held. He knew I was hurting. I wanted to help me. But he was helpless. We all were shamefully helpless.
He closed his eyes and breathed out. "You look absolutely stunning. I couldn't take my eyes off you," he shared. I wanted to thank him for the compliment but it never came out of my mouth. His words didn't matter at that moment.
We both turned towards the crowd, with Lucas holding both of my hands. It was like numbness had overshadowed my ability of thinking. My ears didn't hear anything. My blurry eyes didn't see anything. My heart didn't feel anything. It was like I didn't even exist.
Until a picture of Carter laughing swirled around my mind. My mind awakened suddenly, my eyes went alive, searching the hall for my Carter. Just as I was about to look away, I saw him.
His eyes were trained upon me. The look he gave me, sent my mind into slumber once again. But this time, I didn't want it to wake up. I was watching a way to pleasuring dream. I didn't want my mind to ever wake up. For me, at that moment it was like the world had stopped completely.
His eyes were glistening with tears, yet there was a faint smile on his face. I knew the smile was fake. I knew he was hurting. After our encounter at my house, I didn't expect him to come, but he was there. He came. I love you, Carter mouthed. I couldn't figure out of it was a dream or I was actually seeing it.
It hurt beyond repair. Being aware of the fact that he would witness me become someone else's possession.
"Sophia?!" I was shaken out of my mental coma when I heard Lia's voice in my ear. Just as the hope filled my heart, it was gone. It was gone the moment I registered her tone. I didn't speak back to her. Just looked at her to confirm my suspicions. They had failed. I could hear their failure in her tone, yet I wanted to be sure.
I waited with an expectant gaze. Waited for a miracle to happen. But just one shake of her head crushed me. It fragmented me. It paralyzed me. Being aware of the fact that the last hope I had, vanished into nothingness had me wrapped into an overwhelming trauma.
Lucas, shook me. "L-Lucas.... I..." my heartbeat accelerated, "Lu-lu-Lucas. I... I c-can't," my heart felt like it would come out any minute, "I-uh... don't want to marry..." my voice was slow, stammering.
Lucas stared at me like he couldn't believe me. "What?" His tone was not soft. It was blunt, like he was in shock.
"I mean, I- it's so hard. I feel like I'm dying Lucas... stop this marriage please. Do something, Lucas, do something..." I tried to get my skyrocketed heartbeat to come to normal as I spoke. But my attempts were of no use.
Lucas looked around, his eyes not meeting mine. "Sophia... I... it's.. I'm so sorry... I just, I can't help you in anyway. Unless..." he looked at me, his eyes indicating the presence of an idea in his mind.
"I will act like I just had a heart attack. And you can play along... this might delay the marriage..." listening to him made me feel like shit. I knew how it would've felt him to have been rejected by a girl like me. And it hurt me to say that to him. He was so happy today. It was supposed to be a happy day for me too. But I was far from happy.
And I understood trying right now would be better than staying with him in a marriage that didn't mean anything to me and more than something to him. He was happy to marry me. But I couldn't help my feelings. It shattered me to an unexplainable level to witness the sincerity in his eyes mixed with sadness and pain that I had caused him.
"Actually, to help Anna last time, I had pulled the same stunt. And they caught me. Doing something like this would clearly give it away." I couldn't help the sob that left my lips at that moment.
A sad smile crossed my features. "It's okay. I- I deserve this. It's f-fine. Let's continue with the m-marriage." I wiped away the tears that had accumulated under my eyes and sighed. "Where is the priest?"
It took me to say it and he was here. He started with the prayers, the whole times, my eyes never leaving the ground.
"Do you Lucas Blake Williams, take this woman, Sophia Ann Anderson, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and obey, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?" My eyes went wide. It was happening.
Lucas remained silent for a while. I looked up to meet his eyes. He knew I was pleading for him to disagree. He knew I didn't want this. But he was helpless. His eyes spoke volumes. He removed his eyes from mine, loosening his hold onto my hands. "I-I do. I do." He didn't look up from the ground while he slipped the ring into my finger.
One last time I call on you, God.
"Do you, Sophia Ann Anderson, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and obey, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live?" I felt all air knocked out of my chest.
Standing on the same place I felt like I had completed a marathon. I gulped, letting out all tears that I had been stopping since I came here. I looked towards my mom with blurry eyes. With what I could manage to make out, she had been crying too.
I couldn't help but bring my eyes towards Carter.
God?
I understood there was no way help was coming. My eyes lingered on him. And I was taken by shock when Carter stood up from his chair. He pushed past the people and walked towards the exit. His retreating back saying me goodbye.
This is it. Do it for him. You've come this far, you can go ahead, finish this. End this. Sacrifice yourself.
With one last look at me, Carter left the hall. I turned towards the priest. "Do you?" He asked again. Lucas's face expressions showed that he thought I was gonna disagree. I hoped it was that easy. Taking hold on his ring, I looked at him. This is for Carter. This is for your love....
"I-I d-"
"Miss Victoria! Mr.Richard is at a hospital!"
* * * * *
Hey lovely buddies!
Want to kill me? Oh I deserve that. Here take this knife.... just don't be too harsh on me....
Sorry for any mistakes! :)
So don't forget to vote.
How has your weekend been so far? I hope it was better than mine. I had a pile of homework to do. And guess what? The pile is still huge.
Oh and upon your suggestions I am definitely gonna hold this competition thing. Just let me know how many of you might be interested. I'll reveal the topic in the next chapter probably.
Any new songs that I should be addicted to next?
Love,
Kittykat! ❤️