Twenty-Five
Zayne's green irises focused in on the light blue sky as he leaned his against the door of his car. The wind was light and delicate on that particular day, whisking quietly against his face. He barely shivered as his hands found their way in the confinement of the pockets to his loose black sweatpants. His visage was hard as he finally dared his eyes to scrutinize the familiar house before him. At last, he'd made it around to his dad's home. He had grown tired of the constant calls and messages of Rick nearly pleading with him to make time for him.
His eyes roamed the spacious abode before him. The large opened windows gave a view of the homely looking persona exuding from the home. It was one of those houses that lacked privacy with its pricey radiance showcasing each and every person that came into it. He then pushed his feet across the graying gravel. He had already seen his father peering at him through the seemingly large mirror of the window that made up the front entrance. He ambled up the few steps that made up the vast porch.
Rick allowed him to enter as he stepped aside. He then quickly turned on the balls of his feet and began sauntering towards what he'd made the study. Zayne sighed quietly as he closed the door behind him. He just knew it was going to be something although his father hadn't said a word yet. He traipsed not too far behind him, his eyes stretching over the expensive paintings aligning the slender hallway. He knew all too well what his father wanted to "talk" about; his life. His life that had quickly become a rapture of women. It had spun out of control once more and he had no intentions of stopping it anytime soon.
"Have a seat son," Rick said, his voice echoing throughout the room. Zayne hadn't realized he'd stopped just short of the spacious study area. He suddenly shifted his orbs over towards his father who had already seated himself in one of the black square modern seats. He opted for the seat directly across from his father with a small glass table separating the two. He leaned back into his seat with his legs slightly parted. His eyes never met his dad's because he had them focused on the outside scenery. He stared out at the tall palm trees as the wind silently blew them back and forth. "You've finally made time out of your busy schedule, I see," Rick said in a teasing manner.
Zayne shrugged wordlessly. He didn't have that much to say to him at the moment but figured he would at least hear him out. It seemed to be important to him and he did owe him that much. "If you want to call it that fine. What did you want to talk about old man?"He queried, swiftly shifting his eyes towards him, awaiting his answer. "About your mother but not just her. About us as a family period." He appeared to be nervous as he shifted in his seat with his hands clasped together tightly. Zayne had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Now he wanted to have a heart to heart. "You're about how many years too late?" He countered unexpectedly. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. It was supposed to be a thought – a quiet unspoken thought. "I mean...sorry. Didn't mean to say that."He muttered lowly.
"But you said it, didn't you?"
"Evidently."
"Then you meant it."
Zayne nodded his head as he slid his opened palms over the knees of his pants. The quietude in the room seemed to engulf them whole as neither of them made a move to say another word. He searched the space with his eyes inaudibly. He made note of the many opened books scattered around aimlessly. He remembered many times where he'd come into that very room to discuss matters with his father in the past. They had never crossed the line of talking so much about his so-called mother after Rick told him that she didn't desire to be in his life when he had been only thirteen. He reminisced on being sent into that room to study, to inform his father of adolescent hardships, and even just to solely bond. It had been more than just a study, but every bit of their family room too."I think I should tell you about how I tried to keep your mother with us...the night before she left..."Rick implied.
Zayne's gaze darted to his father's face. His words held his attention hostage. Rick appeared pained as his hazel-green eyes softened and his lips formed a grimace. For the first time in Zayne's life, his father resembled a hurt man. Rick allowed his usually hard visage to showcase his emotions – the emotions that he had so deeply hidden within him. "I've been bitter for a long time son and so you've only known what you were taught. I take full responsibility for that part of your life."He uttered, the pained expression still etched into his face. Zayne subconsciously gripped the arms of his seat as he moved himself to sit upright. He was readying himself for whatever his father would bestow upon him. "I don't want you to be like me Zayne. I want you to be better than me. Do you hear me, kid? I never taught you how to be the man that I should have been, but that doesn't mean you can't change this cycle."He conveyed as he diverted his eyes away from Zayne's pensive stare.
Zayne made no motion to say a word to his father because he wasn't sure about what he should say. He settled for nodding his head instead, hoping it would suffice. He was definitely hearing him loud in clear in that moment. "Are you listening to me son?"Rick inquired, his gaze still peering elsewhere but him. He sighed,"I'm listening." He then placed his chin into his opened palm as he pressed his arm into the armrest of his seat.
January 1991
A young Rick Sanchez was anxious to get back into his quaint apartment on that specific day. He had a newly born son and his girlfriend – soon to be wife – awaiting his return. The small velvet box in his pocket seemed to burn through the material of his pants as he just couldn't be any more excited. He freed himself from his long pea coat and stashed it away on the coat hanger just behind the door. He scanned the small apartment. He made note of a couple of bottles sitting on the small coffee table alongside the baby's small blanket. It brought a small smile to his face as he began to amble through the small living room.
Times were definitely hard, but he was doing his best to make things better for the three of them. He had just entered grad school and he was more determined than ever. Everything was for his growing family now. He sniffed the air as the smell of one of his favorite meals wafted past his nose. He thought about going to peek into the kitchen but quickly decided against it. He then tread down the slender hallway in search of Anna. The place was too quiet so he figured that she might be sleeping.
He jostled the door to their bedroom open and found it dark and quiet. The bedsheets and comforter were pulled back signaling that she had once been there. Rick then pulled the door closed and began to head further down the hall. There was a little light spilling from what they had designated the nursery. The door had been left open and Rick instantly knew that's where she'd gone off too. She couldn't seem to get enough of their newborn son. He smiled again as he quietly neared the door.
He glanced inside the room to find her sitting near the baby's crib. The small lamp adjacent them illuminated a small portion of her visage. Her hazel eyes appeared to glisten as she peered down at their son lovingly. She rubbed his little face with her fingers gently sliding them over his eyelids and nose. He stirred in his sleep, his little bottom lip curling as he attempted to fuss. Anna pressed the baby into her chest and began to rock him. His cries quickly turned into small whimpers as she soothingly rubbed his back.
Rick shifted and pressed a hand to the door. "I'm so sorry Zayne..."He heard her say just before he readied himself to enter. He could hear her sniffling as he pressed his forehead to the door. "I love you so much, but I just can't... I can't do this."Anna's cries had grown a bit louder. He shut his eyes as his hands clenched involuntarily at his sides. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wouldn't believe what he was hearing. "I'm sorry baby, but if I stay..."Her voice tapered off as the rest of the words got caught in her throat.
He decided that he couldn't stand to hear anymore so he pushed the door until it was fully open. "I love you.."She whispered to their son again. Rick remained unmoving as he stood in the doorway. He watched as the tears cascaded down her caramel-hued cheeks."What are you doing in here?"He questioned with a small grin as if he hadn't heard her only seconds ago. Rick sauntered across the floor with his eyes never leaving her. Her darkened tresses nearly fell into her face as she moved to look up at him. Rick then reached downwards and gently cradled their son in his arms. He kissed the baby's forehead before laying him in his crib.
When he turned back around he found Anna sitting on the floor. Her head was pressed against the wall as she glanced up towards the ceiling. "What's wrong?" He queried as he made his way over towards her. He knelt before her and grabbed a hold of her face. He ran his thumb over her jawline, hoping to get her to look at him. Her gaze then shifted towards him and he gave her a reassuring smile. "I can't do this Rick..."She voiced with tears still sitting at the brim of hazel orbs. The grin slowly disappeared from his face as he allowed her words to settle into his ears. "What?"He looked bewildered as he moved to seat himself in front of her.
Anna then moved forward on her knees and wrapped her arms around his middle. She embraced him with an urgency as she meshed her face into his button down shirt. Rick sighed and pulled her deeper into his chest. He rubbed his digits up and down her lower back in a comforting manner. He didn't understand what she was trying to say to him at the moment. "What are you saying love?"He asked. He moved his hands up towards her head and began running his fingers through her scalp.
Rick knew that he loved Anna with everything in him. He had never known a woman to make him feel the things that she did. He wanted to share everything with her and he only hoped that she wanted the same. "You know what I'm talking about Rick. You know..."She gripped his shirt as she moved to pull herself away from him. He began to shake his head while peeling his fingers away from her. He knew how she had claimed that she didn't want any of what he was giving to her, yet she was there. She had confessed to him her love only a few months ago but even still she would sit before him and contradict herself.
"You told me you loved me, Anna."
"And I do!"
"You do, huh? But you wanna leave?"
She began to fiddle with her fingers as an uneasy look melted into her visage. Her hazel eyes didn't move to peer into his hazel-green ones. Rick sighed as he gently grabbed a hold of her face. He stared into her eyes and he was sure that she could see the love that he harbored for her passing through them. She began to cower away from his glare. She attempted to turn her head, but Rick wouldn't allow it. He pressed his forehead to hers, whispering,"I love you." The tears that she'd been so desperately trying to cease came cascading down her cheeks again. Rick pressed his lips to hers and she reciprocated the kiss like it was her last.
"You can't leave me Anna...you can't leave us."He whispered just as soon as they'd separated themselves. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him that much closer. "I'm sorry."She murmured softly. He squeezed her just as tightly. It was clear that he wasn't ready to let her go, and he planned to keep her there. He wanted to be her knight in shining armor because he believed that they had that forever kind of love. The velvet box buried in his pocket was just the start of their forever in his eyes. "Promise me you won't leave me."He rendered. Anna buried her face in the crook of his neck as her oncoming tears seeped onto his neck. "I..."Her voice trailed off.
"Promise me."
"I –– I promise."She uttered nearly inaudibly just before kissing the side of his neck. Rick sighed as he was satisfied with her answer. He slowly began to loosen her hold. Her darkened ribbons of hair surrounded her face as she pulled back. He smiled warily at her. She gave him a crooked grin in turn, although the gesture didn't reach her eyes. His smile nearly faded as his heart plummeted to his stomach. "I'll never leave you."Her words almost went unheard, but they still managed to captivate him.
His heart didn't believe her, but he'd do his damnedest too for one more night.
------
"She was gone the very next day," Rick said as he focused his gaze on his son. Zayne remained still and motionless as he tried to capture the essence of his parents past. He wasn't sure how to respond. "Love makes you do crazy things, apparently it can make you try to hold on to something that would never work."Zayne found himself mumbling. He glanced up at his father who now sat nodding at his words. Rick then leaned forward and retrieved his glass. He turned the cup upwards and allowed the contents to spill into his mouth. He set it back down on the table and wiped the remnants of the liquid off his lips. "I made a mistake when I knew that your mother didn't want anything more than what she had asked of me."Rick uttered. Zayne slouched in his seat as he ran a hand over his head.
"You think she really loved you?"
"I used to think that she did, but now that's in the past."
Silence consumed the room once again with both of them staring at one another. Rick was probably trying to see if he was getting through to him. Zayne, on the other hand, was still trying to take it all in. He felt numb. "Have you forgiven her?" He asked softly. Rick rubbed at his facial hair with a tranquil look on his face, "Yes. I forgave her after I realized how much it damaged you. You made me realize that a couple of months ago when you told me how I had been living through you." Zayne began to nod. "You were right Zay. I lived through you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting on you things that a child shouldn't have had to worry about. I just didn't want you to be hurt and I wanted to protect you."His voice was the sincerest Zayne had ever heard. It made him stare that much harder to see if he really meant everything that he was saying.
"I know. I realized that not too long ago dad..."
"All I'm asking you now is to let go of all of it. You said yourself that who I made you to be isn't who you are. So be you and stop hiding behind what you know."
"What do you know?"Zayne furrowed an eyebrow. Rick smiled for the first time since they'd been in each others presence. He drew a blank as his eyebrows seemed to come together on his forehead. "You know what I'm talking about."The grin on Rick's face only seemed to broaden. Zayne's face nearly mirrored his as he tried to keep himself from smiling back at him. He shifted his gaze out into the cloudless atmosphere. The blue sky brought him comfort as he proceeded to tune out his father's probing words. "The young woman in your life."He said. Zayne averted his stare to him while folding his arms across his chest.
"There are a lot of them in my life."Zayne shot back, sarcasm heavy in his tone. The vibration of Rick's laughter rippled throughout the room at that. "Touche, but you know I'm talking about Promise."He answered with laughter still running it's course through him. Zayne blew out a bit of breath with a roll of his eyes. "We are not about to discuss her."He moved to get up out of his seat. "Sit back down boy,"His father ordered. Zayne found himself obeying him and sitting back down. He gripped the arms of the chair. SHE was not a subject that he wanted to discuss. "What about her?"He frowned as though he hadn't wanted to ask. Rick peered at him knowingly with a grin still present on his visage. "She's a good girl, son. Ran into her about two weeks ago...been talking to her ever since. She's going to let me see my grandson."He added.
"Okay, that's great dad. I'm glad to hear it. I can't be mad at that because you should know your grandson by now..."Zayne shrugged nonchalantly. He figured if he showed no interest in Promise that his father would drop the subject altogether. He realized he was wrong when his dad proceeded to go on with the conversation. "You know Zayne...for someone who was once so focused on being themselves a couple of months ago you're sure not acting like you."He stated as a matter of factually. He rolled his eyes at that. He didn't think Rick had any room to talk when he had barely come to terms with everything. "What are you tryna get at dad? I don't have all day. I have other things to worry about."He conveyed with a frown. The truth was that Zayne was cognizant of what his father was trying to get out of him. It was making him uneasy and he didn't like it.
"Well, just a couple of months ago you made it very clear to me that you cared about this girl."
"Okay..."
"So now all of a sudden you don't care about her anymore?"
Zayne fixed his mouth to deny it, but nothing would come out. He could feel his father's piercing hazel-green orbs boring into his side profile. He continued to stare off into the distance trying to avoid his father. He was very aware of how much he still cared about the mother of his son. Yes, he was in denial. He was in the process of depriving his heart's desire hard. Everything about her set him off. Her hair. Her eyes. Her smile. The way she could just look at him and make his heart jump and stop all at the same time. The way she once kissed him. The way she once held him. The way she always found herself by his side. The way they had made love together...
He missed the hell out of her.
Somewhere deep down inside of him knew that the lifestyle he had thrown himself back into wasn't what he wanted. His life had become a blur – passing him by with no means of stopping anytime soon. Every day it was another girl. Another set of panties. Another girl he could have done without. Another day that he was gradually losing out on the only woman that had ever made him want something more. "I mean yeah I do care because she's my son's mother, but it's not even like that anymore."The lie spewed from his lips with ease. Rick began to shake his head as he found himself chuckling again. "Stop lying to yourself. Let go of your fears Zayne, because every part of you is in love with that girl and you know it."
"You don't know what you're talking about..."
"I do know what I'm talking about. You love her."
"I don't..."
"You do, son."
"I don't love Promise, okay? I don't."
"It's okay to love her. I know it's scary, but you have to allow yourself that much. You deserve it."
"And just how do you know I love her? What makes you think that?"He inquired. He had set his eyes back on the palm trees just outside of the large window. The area that his father lived in was secluded so there were no people walking around aimlessly to distract him. He wished there had been at that moment so he could put on a better facade. Rick was gradually stabbing at the wall he built around himself. "The same way that I can tell she loves you just as much. You two wear your emotions on your faces even when you try your damnedest to hide it."He replied. Zayne's eyebrows nearly came together on his forehead at Rick's sudden revelation.
"She loves me?"
"Yep, but you've been too blind to see it. Well, you want to pretend you don't see it."He laughed yet again. Zayne began to shake his head. There was no possible way that she loved him. There was no way that she cared that much about him.
"There's no..."
"Stop doing that."
"What?"
"Just accept it Zayne. Take it one day at a time though, because that's what I had to do."
His initial plan was to close himself off to what his dad was saying, but he figured it wouldn't do him any good. "What's the first step in forgiveness then dad?"Zayne asked nearly inaudibly. He rubbed his hands over his pants because they'd started to moisten. "Allowing the wall that you've built around yourself to come down is the first step. You have to open yourself up."He told him. Zayne clasped his hands together and finally handed his gaze over towards his father, "That's probably the hardest step, right?" Rick nodded just before grabbing his cup off the table.
"It is, but it gets easier."
"It does?"
"Yeah, every day is a struggle son. But what's life without it?"
Zayne sighed. He was opening himself up before his mother's surprise visit. He placed his left palm on his knee and used the other to rake it through his scalp. "I was being open once before dad and I mean I really let myself go, but then when..."He found himself growing angry as he allowed his sentence to trail off. Rick leaned forward and propped his cup back on the table. "I know it hurts, but let it go."He conjectured with an assuring nod. He balled his hands into tight fists,"I can't."
Zayne was so wrapped up in his downpour of anger that he didn't even realize his father's tall frame hovering over him. He held an opened hand out towards him. His eyes finally landed on his father's hand. He gripped it and pushed himself to stand. Rick then pulled him into a manly side hug, his arm dangling loosely over his shoulder. "If I can do it then you can too. You have to realize what you deserve."His words rang throughout his ears. Zayne nodded in understanding. "You might be on to something." He grinned a little as he pulled his father tighter into his embrace. "Of course I am son. I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize it."He patted Zayne on the shoulder before releasing him.
"It's okay. I can forgive you."
"I'm glad."
Rick suddenly ambled across the study while Zayne plopped back into his seat. The softness of the chair felt like it was swallowing him as he allowed himself to mesh with it. He felt like a couple of weights had been lifted off of his shoulders as he drifted into a calming state. It was only moments later that he heard heels clicking against the sleek wooden floors. Zayne opened his eyes and propped his head on his forearm.
His mother stood before him.
Anna looked just as beautiful as she did the first day she'd somehow found him. His face hardened as he felt himself tensing up again. "Did you know she was around dad?"He asked, pulling his eyes away from her. Rick sauntered pass her and reclaimed his seat across from him. "I didn't until she saw you that day and then she came to me."He responded as though it hadn't been a big deal. Zayne's eyes moved over her face, taking in her sad eyes in particular. She looked tired as she locked eyes with him. He thought to get up but decided against it when he realized his father would only stop him. At the same time, he also didn't want to carry the burden of being unable to forgive either. "Zayne," She called his name.
He made note of her long onyx tresses that did nothing but compliment her caramel skin. He shifted his green irises to stare into her hazel ones. She smiled at him uneasily, showcasing the crater-like dimples that he'd inherited from her. She slowly tread across the room towards him. Zayne stood to his feet without thinking. He glared down at her as he towered over her shorter frame. She seemed taken aback by his pensive stare. She grabbed his left hand which in turn shocked him. He thought he would have pulled away, but to his surprise, he didn't want to. She gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling him into her and wrapping her arms around his middle.
His whole body went rigid as she placed herself up against him. He had fantasized as a child about what he would do if he could hug his mother. He used to dream of it, but when the moment presented itself he didn't know what to do. Anna only squeezed him tighter and that made him look down at her. He slowly moved both of his hands that he'd placed firmly against his side to engulf her, wrapping her up in his arms. She seemed to fall into him that much more. "I'm so sorry Zayne..."She said. He didn't move as it was just his way of letting her have her moment.
"I want you to know that I've always loved you and I know that there's nothing I could say or do to ever take back the pain that I've caused you. I made my choice which I'll never claim to be the right one, but it's what I felt I needed to do at the time. It was selfish but I felt I did the right thing by leaving you with your father. I would have resented you and him had I not gone on to do what I felt that I should."
"I don't know what you want me to say..."
"You don't have to say too much of anything. I just want to apologize to you and start over if you're ever up for it."
"I've always wanted you to come back to me, but now that you're here I'm not sure what to do."
"That's okay too, but for now all I want is for you to forgive me and to stop creating unnecessary heartbreak for yourself."
Zayne gripped his mother's arms and pulled them around to the front of them. He held her hands in his and searched her eyes. He couldn't decipher if what she was saying was true but at the moment it would do. He knew that time would heal all and this is how he had to start. "I forgive you."He clutched her hands lightly. Her hazel eyes seemed to light up as a smile took over the creases of her lips. "Thank you."She added.
"This is a start, right?"He pointed between the two of them. She nodded her head happily prior to allowing her hands to fall at her sides. Zayne scrunched up his face at her jovially before his lips housed a small satisfied grin. Rick chuckled lightly and hopped on his feet. "Now, don't we all feel better?"He asked. Zayne and his mother both rolled their eyes at his antics. "But dad you're not Dr. Phil though."He joked. Their laughter soon bounced off of the walls, bringing them all a sense of relief.
-------
A mere fifteen minutes went by before Anna dismissed herself from Rick's home. They now stood at the front door bidding her goodbye. She seemed a lot happier as Zayne waved to her. He felt a lot lighter as he continued to stand in the doorway. "So I guess I better be heading back to campus now," He said as he leaned up against the door with his hands tucked away in his pockets. His dad nodded, "Yeah, I guess we've had enough family time for one day,huh?" He couldn't have agreed more. It was definitely going to be a process to get things right between him and his mother, but he felt like it was something he should give a try.
It weighed him down for far too long.
"Right, plus I have someone I was supposed to meet up with."Zayne began to pat his pockets down for his keys. He could feel his father's eyes on him as he jostled his pants up and down. "Wrap it in foil before you check her oil."Rick smiled deviously. Zayne suddenly pulled his eyes up from his task at hand. He began to laugh loudly. "Ah...I swear you lame man."He chuckled a little more. He pulled his keys out and began to twirl them around his pointer finger. "I'm just saying. Sock that wang before you bang."He chortled. Zayne couldn't seem to hold in his laughter at that saying either.
"You're even lamer for that one pops."
"I might be, but I'm just looking out for you."
Zayne grinned again,"I know." He pulled him into a hug as his silent way of saying goodbye. "Stay out of trouble."Rick conveyed, patting his back. He nodded as he pulled away.
-----
The sky was nearly black but the little bit of coral spilling from above the darkness brought forth a little light. The apartment complex was scarce with not a soul in sight. It was obvious that its inhabitants had long drifted off to their various homes. Zayne found himself sitting outside Promise's apartment in his car. He didn't know why he was there or why he had even allowed himself to drive there. His ringing phone captured his attention for only a millisecond before he averted his gaze back towards her home. His long digits squeezed at the steering wheel as he wordlessly fought with himself to get out. "Don't even know why the hell I'm here..."He voiced to himself.
"I know she's not going to listen to anything I have to say."He muttered aloud. The ringing of his phone sliced through his thoughts once more. He reached over to grab it out of his passenger seat. He pressed the top button to illuminate the small device.
It revealed a missed call from his assigned girl for that night – Isa. She could wait he thought as he tossed it down into his cup holder. He quickly pushed the door open and got out. He ambled across the asphalt quickly before he changed his mind and psyched himself out.
He climbed the stairs two at a time and found himself standing in front of her door moments later. His heartbeat quickened at just the thought of what he was about to do. He then gave the door about three knocks. The soft wind howled effortlessly as it smacked up against his cheeks. His light windbreaker ruffled against his arms as he rocked on the balls of his feet. He'd placed his hands into his pockets when he heard the locks on the door turning.
His green orbs were focused on his Jordans as the light poured out onto the small porch. "Who's at the door Ryan?"Zayne's eyes quickly darted upwards when he heard Promise's voice come from somewhere else in her apartment. He came face to face with Ryan's slight smiling face. His blue eyes taunted Zayne as he stood in the threshold with his arms folded across his chest. "It's just Zayne," Ryan said over his shoulder before returning his gaze to him. Zayne instantly frowned while narrowing his eyes at him.
"Zayne?!"Her voice sounded questioning as it echoed out into the hallway. He made no moves to go anywhere until she came out the door. "So what brings you here?"Ryan suddenly questioned, his tone filled with annoyance. Zayne chuckled out of anger with a shake of his head, "Is it really any of your damn business?" Ryan nodded his head with a smirk playing on his lips. The two remained staring at one another for a couple of minutes which had really felt like hours in reality. Promise then pulled the door open further, revealing herself.
He had to stand there as they giggled over one another. She openly flirted with Ryan before sending him off into her apartment with a kiss on his cheek. "Well damn," Zayne laughed drily. Promise folded her arms across her chest as she leaned up against the door. Her usually wild golden curls were in a messy bun atop her head. She looked every bit of happy as she stood before him. "What's up? You know Zay's with my parents."She conveyed, breaking the silence. He cursed himself for not thinking to come up with an excuse as to why he was at her place. He rubbed the back of his neck while forcing his eyes away from her beautiful face.
"I was going to say that I was bringing him something, but we both know that would be a lie."
"Obviously."
He sighed because he really wanted to share with her how he'd just talked to his parents. It would have been easy enough to go home and share it with his boys, but they would never get him like she did. The sound of her foot tapping against the pavement gathered his attention, "What did you really want Zayne? I have to get back to Ryan." He couldn't stand how she had to make it a point that she had to get back to him. He already knew that. "I don't know."He shrugged. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I don't have time for this."She swiveled around on her feet and moved to grab the knob of the door.
He grabbed a hold of her forearm, ceasing her movements,"Wait.. hold up. Hold up."He pushed his body against her frame. She tensed up and then pressed her hand against his chest. "Move Zayne."She ordered. He took a step back to accommodate her wishes. He allowed a breath to surpass his lips. "I miss you...that's the first thing. Second, I want to apologize to you for the way I acted awhile back."
"You can't be serious right now."
"I'm very serious."
"Yeah, okay."
"I really am sorry that I hurt you. I just wanted some space and instead of me telling you that I acted stupidly. I never meant for things to get that far and I didn't mean half of the things I said. I do care about you."
She bit her bottom lip as she stared him in the eyes. He wasn't sure what was going through her head as they battled silently. "I meant it when I said that you were special to me."He voiced. Promise tried to appear unmoved, but he could sense different. He knew that he struck a nerve with that line. "You know I meant it," He told her with his eyes still boring into hers. He suddenly had the urge to grab her and hold her. He knew that she wouldn't allow him to though. He took another couple of steps back just so he could fight that longing. "You lied to me Zayne."She mumbled.
"I know I did, but all I want is for you to accept my apology right now."
"I hear you."
"Well, I guess that's all I can ask for right now."He countered with a small faux grin. She didn't return the smile as she wrapped her arms tighter around her body. He could feel the uneasiness radiating from her demeanor. She felt so closed off to him now."I miss you so much, girl."He found himself rendering again. He just couldn't help it. His emotions were pouring themselves out at the seams since he focused on letting everything go earlier. "I don't know what to say to you..."She said to him with a sigh.
"Say that you miss me too."
"Look, I'd rather not. I have to go."She turned her back on him and began to open the door. Zayne's head fell towards his chest in a defeated like manner. His heart dropped into his stomach with the fact that she didn't seem to want anything to do with him anymore. She had gone and done what he'd convinced himself that he wanted. She let him be and he knew he didn't want that. He never did. It felt like she moved on and she was in the midst of leaving him behind. "Promise!"He called her with an urgency, a neediness in his voice. She stopped just short of the door as it caught the latch.
Promise gave him a glimpse of her side profile as she peered at him over her shoulder. She chose to stay quiet as her hand fell away from the door. He was about to unleash the words that had long been plaguing him – the feeling he had tried to lose sight of. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and glided across his bottom lip. "I.." He stopped himself yet again. She began to shake her head with a sigh. He couldn't bring himself to finish right away, but he knew he needed to say it. "I'm done listening. I'm going inside."She announced just as he'd regathered up his courage. "Hold up!"He urged her again. She tossed her hand into the air and ambled inside of her apartment. He quickly moved towards the door, but it was too late. The sounds of the locks echoed through the air as he pressed his forehead against the door.
"I love you..."
_____________________________
It's an emotional rollercoaster around here lol. What did you think of Zayne's talk with his dad and the discussion of his parent's past? I think it was well overdue. Who was ready for Zayne's impromptu confession? Is he really in love with her?? Did Promise even hear him? So many questions 🤔... I could go on, but y'all catch my drift. Lol sorry about the cliffhanger BUT that makes it all the more exciting!
Thanks for reading😊
-Nikki💙