As soon as the door shut, I did too. I held Niall's shirt to my chest, trying to block out the pain from the ripped, empty feeling in my chest.
"Audrey?" Louis asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Do you want to go inside?" He asked. Quietly I nodded, Louis gently led me inside and back to the rooms. When we walked in Catori, Aravis and the boys, minus Niall, where gathered around the computer talking to it. Liam looked up at us and held his arms out,
“Louis, Audrey, welcome back! How was dinner?” He asked enthusiastically,
"It was good." Louis said simply. Harry turned the lap top around and I saw a live streaming video of us on the screen.
“Say 'Hi' to the fans guys!” Harry said and Louis waved. Louis walked over to the couch where Harry was with the laptop and smiled,
"Hello!" He said loudly, waving. I turned and sat down on the other couch, clutching Niall's shirt still.
Just then there was a knock at the room door and Liam jumped up and answered it. A guy walked in with a bunch of pizzas and Harry announced the food had been delivered. Even though Louis had eaten a lot at the restaurant he joined the boys, Aravis and Cat in getting pizza.
"Audrey, do you mind holding this for a while?" Louis asked, kindly, the laptop in his hands. I nodded and he handed it to me, placing it onto my lap. I took a deep breath and smiled at the camera,
“Don't worry they’ll be back, they are just getting food really quick.” I said, I looked up at the guys watching them as Liam and Louis started getting a slice even before the guy had put the boxes down and Harry pay him. I smiled at them and turned my attention back to the screen, I gasped. The comment board, about every other comment, consisted of...
Shes so ugly! She doesn't deserve 1D. #UglyAudery
OMG! Her face! U.G.L.Y #ScarFace
I can't believe the boys even like her. #Ugly
She's the pregnant girl that lives with them right? #1DTwitcam #Hoe
Everyone knows she's using them for fame right. #1dtwitcam
I stood, pushing the lap top to the side and ran to the bedroom slamming the door behind me. Tears fell quickly from my eyes as I ran farther into the bathroom. Why me? Why at all?
'I told you! Everyone hates you, you are useless and deserve the pain.' The voice inside my head said to me. 'Ugly, Useless, Fat, Whore, Unloved, Stupid, Broken…' The voice screamed. I gripped my hair, trying to muffle the sounds of her voice. 'You deserve the pain.' She sneered. 'You deserve it, you murderer!'
"No! I didn't kill them!" I sobbed, sitting on the floor. 'You did it! You killed them!' "Just go away!" I yelled, squeezing my eyes closed. Just then an idea popped into my head. If it works for them it must work for me. I stood, walking over to Aravis's travel bag. Without a thought I opened it, searching around inside until I found what I was looking for. Soon I found the pink handled scissors, the bright, clean metal glinting in the light from the light fixture overhead.
"People cut for a reason, right?" I said to myself, opening the scissors, allowing the cool blade to rest against my wrist. 'Go on, you know you deserve this.' She said to me. And with one quick movement, I pulled the blade against my skin. Instantly a red line appeared, but it didn't appease me, so again and again I let it cut me.
Finally, I stopped, the reality of what I had just done dawning on me. 'Now your more a a freak than you where!' She laughed. I quickly began to clean everything up. My arm, the scissors, the counter, the floor, anything that had blood on it. Once I bandaged my arm I walked back into the bedroom, falling onto the bed and kicked off my shoes, I rolled over and curled up, numbness laying over my like a blanket. After a few minutes I heard the door open and close, and felt someone lay next to me, Niall’s familiar smell lightly enveloping me. He put his arms around me and I rolled over and began cry into his chest. We didn’t talk but I just cried until I couldn’t anymore and finally fell asleep.