Pony (It's OK) - Erin McCarley
Happily - One Direction
Ours - Taylor Swift
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Juliet POV
When my eyes open I can feel my heart as light as a feather and my mind at ease - no more worries no more stress. I was still on the high from those three words from last week.
Things have flown by lately. Everything was just... amazing - it all felt like a dream - a dream that I was never going to or planning on waking up from. No fights, no betrayals, everything was just how it should be. None of the days dragged on, every day was spent smiling and feeling on top of the world.
Rolling over in bed I grab for Zayn but it's empty. I sit up, looking around the empty bed in his room - the temperature of the apartment dropping with the absence of him. I leave the bedroom and walk out into the kitchen. I smile when I spot the familiar look of Zayn cooking at the stove.
Every time I stay over he makes breakfast - I tried making breakfast one time when he was dead asleep but he woke up and made me stop. He figured since I am a guest in his place he should be hospitable by at least making me food in the morning.
Staying with Zayn was becoming more regular for me - Sarah wasn't too pleased about it, but she finally accepted it and started staying with Niall more. It made the apartment we got feel useless, but we often made sure to stay there at least three times a week.
I knew Zayn was working on trying to get me to move in. He even took me with him to buy some decorations for the place after class on Wednesday. He allowed me to pick out some pictures and wall art that wasn't too 'girly'.
It felt all so real but at the same time like a dream. Being a couple, doing things like shopping for decorations for this apartment - all realistic things but things I could never imagine really happening. Strange contradiction.
Quietly sneaking up behind him I wrap my arms around his torso and press a kiss to his bare shoulder. He's shirtless right now, as per usual - I don't understand how he can be shirtless when his apartment is always freezing, but then again Zayn always seems to run warm.
Zayn chuckles, the laugh vibrating through his body. I rest my cheek on his back and smile with the warmth of his body aiding my cold one.
"Morning love. How'd you sleep?" Zayn asks in a quiet voice. Zayn flips the pancakes on the pan in front of him before turning to me. Wrapping his arms around my body and looking at me in the way that makes me blush and my heart flutter.
"Pretty good. Did you? You are up early." I note, indicating to the breakfast that he was making.
Zayn usually sleeps in. We'll usually spend mornings, that we don't have school, cuddled up in bed until he decides to get up and make food. He usually isn't up too early before me if ever.
"Just planning some things for Christmas." He smiles at me, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the side of my face before releasing me and returning back to the breakfast.
"So do your... does your mom know we're coming for Christmas?" I glance at him over my shoulder while walking to the counter to sit. Zayn glances at me and gives a confused smirk.
"Why wouldn't she?" He questions lightly.
"I mean... she knows I'm going to be there?" I wonder if Zayn has told her directly that I was coming to Bradford, and I wonder how much he has told his mom about me.
"Of course." He chuckles, shaking his head. "She wants us to stay at the house - but if you feel uncomfortable with that I can get a hotel." His voice is calm and level while flipping the pancakes one last time.
"I wouldn't want to object to your mom's request." I mumble. I didn't mind staying at Zayn's house... "Is it the same house you grew up in?" I ask in a very quiet voice.
Zayn doesn't answer for a moment. He simply fills the plate with pancakes and walks to the table and puts them down. I slowly raise from my seat and walk over to the table, sitting down adjacent to him at the corner.
"I just meant... I won't stay at the house if it brings back memories." I explain.
I don't want Zayn to be uncomfortable at his own Christmas break at home. Perhaps he always stays at a hotel whenever visiting just to avoid the house with the memories scarred into the rooms.
"She moved out of that house a few years back." He sighs, shifting in his seat and beginning to eat.
We eat in a quiet silence. The clinking of our silverware filling the void. The pancakes are delicious and I focus on the sweet syrup covering the breaded breakfast food.
I still have to figure out what to tell my mom about Bradford. I had to explain to her that everything would be okay. I got my passport renewed and no was just the phone call to my mom.
"I have to go home and pack." I state quietly. Zayn and I were leaving in a about a week and I needed to start figuring out what to bring to Bradford.
"You have a week." Zayn smirks over at me, reaching his hand across and resting it on my leg.
"I know I just... I have to figure out what to pack for Christmas, for site seeing, for everything." I claim. I wasn't even sure how the weather was in Bradford compared to Boulder. I had to check up on that when packing.
"Don't be nervous." Zayn gives me a warming smile that slightly calms my nerves - only slightly.
I was honestly so nervous - so nervous that it was hard to even focus in school. I was freaking out about meeting his parents and seeing where he grew up. It would be a whole insight to his life that he is so secretive about.
It's honestly been difficult to keep up good grades with Zayn constantly around. Us being on such good terms meant bad things for my school grades. I was always distracted - he was always distracting.
"I think I'm going to go catch up with Liam to study." I take a bite of my pancakes and Zayn nods. Finals were in a week and I really hadn't been studying as much as I usually do.
"I have a few things to go over with Eleanor - stuff for the trip." He replies, squeezing my leg with a smile. "I'll take you to meet up with Liam."
Zayn was still not allowing me to drive. Every time the snow was about to be melted away - it would soon drop in temperature and begin snowing again. It was beautiful but honestly getting too much.
The road never seemed to not be covered in snow - and that meant Zayn would not allow me to drive. I'm not sure why he feels I'm such a bad driver - I drive very safe, compared to most.
"I can drive myself." I assure him.
"No." Zayn shakes his head. I give him an angry look but soon break into a smile with him watching me in the way that melts my heart.
"Do you not trust me to drive myself?" I question softly in a playful manner, but in all seriousness wanting to know what was with him not wanting me to drive.
"I trust you... I just love you too much to let you drive in the icy streets." He mumbles, his hand sliding up to my arm and pulling me to him.
I laugh but don't object to his pull on my arm. I allow him to pull me onto his lap, his arms wrapping around my waist. Strongly keeping me pressed to his body.
Ever since he told me he loves me - the words have become easier for him to say - at least it seems that way. This was the only third time he's said it but it just seems much easier for him to handle the words and admit them.
"Fine." I sigh. "I love you too much to argue right now." I smile, leaning down and kissing him.
His lips taste of sugary syrup, wondrously delightful. His warm lips mold to mine, his hands gripping my waist and pulling me closer to his body. I run my hands up his hard chest and let them trail back down.
I feel his body shiver from my cold hands. His hands go to my hair, tangling in the dark locks and pull me in. Kisses have been much more intimate and passion filled since the three words we exchanged.
I smile against his lips and allow my hands to trail down his chest to the top of his sweats. I hear him groan and mumble my name against his lips. I smile from his reaction, slipping my fingers under the waistband of his pants.
"Juliet." He hisses in a warning, my cool hands sliding down his hips. He pulls away for a moment, staring into my eyes.
"It's okay." I assure, leaning back in and catching his lips. I want to do this for him.
He inhales quickly at my touch; his heart beats against my skin. His breathing quickens with every movement of my hand.
I feel my breathing shake with every passing moment. His eyes close and his lips leave mine with his heavy breaths. All his muscles flex and tighten, the tension rippling through his entire body as he groans in my ear.
I pull my hand from his pants and let out a light breath. I stare at him and his eyes are closed - he's taking deep breaths, trying to calm his heavy breathing. He doesn't say a word in the breathless quietness of the apartment.
"Was it... I'm sorry." I mumble, taking in his look. I have never given a hand job but I had enough sex talk through high school from health classes to Sarah and our friends to know enough.
I begin to climb off his lap in a rush of embarrassment but he quickly grabs my arm. I look at him, his eyes slowly open and he lets out a heavy breath.
"It was fine - it was great it was... I just need to go change." He smirks, leaning over and giving me a light kiss.
"That was definitely a great way to start my morning." He smirks - washing away any awkward or embarrassing feel I had. I smile back, kissing him and climbing off his lap. He quickly jumps up and disappears into his room.
I lower my eyes to the ground and take a moment. I never thought I would do things like this but... Pleasing him made me happy.
I quickly clear off the dishes and wash off my hands - I clean the dishes and quickly stick them into the dishwasher. By the time I look up Zayn is walking back out - fully dressed and a smile on his lips.
"You look happy." I smile at him with a teasing wink.
"You look beautiful." He responds - making my cheeks flash with heat. He slowly walks over and kisses the side of my face. He pulls me into his body, wrapping his arms around me. His chest to my back, "You're always do though."
He whispers into my ear, giving me a warm kiss against my neck. Chills running through my body and knees growing weak.
~ ~ ~
"So when are you guys headed out?" Liam asks, looking to Louis and I.
I love Louis to death but I really disliked when he would come to study with Liam and I. We never would get work done when he would come along. Louis leans back and smiles at Liam.
"We'll be leaving the 21st." Louis announces.
"Oh so in about a week then." Liam nods slowly, writing out some equations for Chemistry. "Excited?" He asks with a smile.
"Definitely, you Jules?" Louis pats my back and I smile at him and nod. Only Sarah knew that Zayn and I had officially exchanged the three words - and probably Niall.
"Yeah. Very." I agree, taking a look at my Chemistry book but getting interrupted by Louis yet again.
"Things have been going well lately haven't they? He's always in a happy mood." Louis smiles at me, giving me a wink.
"Not what you think." I roll my eyes at his assumption and push on his chest.
"Hey I didn't say a word about why, you're the one who assumed it." He laughs, touching his chest as if I had hurt him.
"How are you and Danielle?" I change the subject as quickly as possible. Avoiding Louis' eyes. I could feel my cheeks reddening with the memory of what I did this morning.
"I might bring her home to meet my parents but... I think she wants to go home for Christmas." Liam pouts. I nod and take a sip of my hot chocolate. The snow began falling again around the time I had gotten to the coffee shop.
Zayn had dropped me off - of course. He insisted and of course after this morning he was in too good of a mood to try to talk out of it. I wish he would just let me drive home at least - though I convinced him to let Louis take me home.
"Why don't you just go with her back home?" I suggest. "I mean... Unless you really want to go home." I shrug.
"Well I want to see my parents but... Maybe, but she didn't invite me home with her so I guess we're just seeing how things go." Liam explains, frowning as he stares at the work in front of him.
I sigh and look around the small coffee shop. Everywhere is being filled with Christmas decorations - even this quaint coffee shop. There are Christmas lights lining the walls, circling around the room.
The tables are covered in dark red cloths with green candles on them. Everything about this shop feels like Christmas - the faint scent of pine and peppermint. The fake wreaths they have hanging around and pinecones that are painted to look as if frosted.
"Jules?" I glance back at Louis and Liam who watch me carefully.
"Sorry, I was just looking around. Quite pretty how they decorated, isn't it?" I ask, taking a quick look around at the decorations.
"I guess, it feels Christmassy." Louis agrees. "So have you figured out how to tell your mom?" Louis asks with a frown.
"Right... I was actually... I'm going to call her." I assure with a nod.
"You haven't told your mom yet?" Liam's brown eyes widen at my words. I frown and nod slowly. Liam and Louis exchange a quick look before turning back to me.
"Yeah." I chew on my lip with the possible scenarios of what could happen. "I'm sure it'll be fine."
"Yeah, it has to. Zayn wouldn't not let you go to Bradford - he'd find a way." Louis chuckles to himself.
"Are you nervous to meet Eleanor and Zayn's family?" I ask. I'm not sure if I should refer to them as Eleanor's family too - seeing as it is just her dad.
"Nah." Louis shrugs. "Are you?" He seems to notice my vacancy and small quirks lately - putting them together.
"I uh-"
"Jules don't be." He interrupts my fumbling for words. "Even if they didn't like you, which they will, the moment they see the way Zayn looks at you they will become just as smitten with you as he is." Louis comforts.
Louis always knew the right words to calm my racing thoughts when it came to Zayn. I was just so happy and grateful that him and Eleanor were coming along - though Louis had told me they would be taking an earlier flight.
I'm not sure why they scheduled different days to fly if we were all going to the same place. I'm sure they had their reasons though.
~ ~ ~
Louis drives through the snow at ease in his truck. Parking outside my apartment we sit in his heated car for a moment. I take a deep breath and look over to Louis.
"Will you sit here with me while I call my mom?" I ask.
Louis is the only one I really want around for this. Zayn would get angry if he were to hear her say no, Sarah would have a high likelihood of mouthing off to my mom if she said now and well... Those were really the only two people I had in my life right now - aside from Louis.
Liam is great but he isn't as close to me as Sarah and Louis - neither is Niall. I had Harry, for a while... I felt like I could depend on him, to be my rock - the voice of reason.
But ever since Zayn and I had suggested the deal I had taken time to think of what it would be like not to be able to have Harry around at all. Sure he wasn't around a lot now but... Sometimes I missed him.
I remember the first night at the frat house - how kind he was to me, the next morning - how he drove me home, the next day when he returned my wallet to me... he was kindhearted and was always concerned about my well-being.
I just wish things weren't so complicated. I wish he could forget any feeling above friendship he had for me. I wish that I didn't have that strange feeling too.
"Of course Jules." Louis nods, sitting back in his seat and watching me carefully. "Do you think she'll say no?"
"High possibility." I nod. "I'm just going to reason with her. I'm 18, I'm going to be with his parents, it's not like we're about to go run off out of the country together." I say mostly to calm myself.
"Right." Louis breathes, resting a comforting hand on my back. I smile at Louis - Louis had been able to take over for Harry for the most part. Being my rock and reasonable, mostly.
It didn't help the fact that I missed Harry's company though. I miss his friendship, how he would joke around, how I would never cry with Harry.
He would only make me smile - except the one night outside the fraternity house we had that confrontation that changed things. That night was... was just the game changer of our relationship.
I dial the numbers with a numb feeling. I let out a light breath and lean back, staring over at Louis. His warming and light blue eyes giving me reassurance.
"Jules?" My mom chirps from the other end.
"Mommy! Mommy!" I hear Jeremy calling in the back. I smile at the sound of his voice.
At first I was slightly worried about not having Christmas with my family. I didn't see them often - though I could since I live only an hour or so away, I just always miss Jeremy.
I was just so ecstatic when Zayn said we would fly home the morning after Christmas to be back for Jeremy's birthday. That meant so much to me - whether Zayn realized it or not.
"Hey mom." I reply with the most upbeat voice I can manage.
"Jules I'm really busy, does this have to be now?" Her voice is short and I can tell she is not in her best mood right now.
"Yes." I say firmly, knowing she's dealing with Jeremy. Jeremy was already on break no doubt - making a handful for my mom.
"What is it?" She asks worriedly. I hear her mumbling something to Jeremy who is still calling out to her.
"I um... You know how I am going with Zayn for Christmas - to meet his family and all?" I say slowly. Letting each word slide from my mouth.
"Yes." She replies with a short tone, I hear her huff and Jeremy squeal. I smile at the sound of his laughter and close my eyes for a moment.
"Well I um... His family is in Bradford." I mumble the last part in a quiet and quick voice. It's quiet on the other end - not even Jeremy can be heard.
I rub my neck and move my fingers to between my eyes. Letting out a heavy breath, trying to relax my racing heart and sped up breathing. I swallow and open my eyes, realizing she still hasn't answered.
"Mom?"
"Jules are you insane? You are planning on leaving the country?" She demands, her voice shrill. I clench my fist and take a deep breath.
"We will be staying with his parents. You can talk to them I just-"
"Jules you hardly know this boy! It's been what? Three months of knowing him? I don't think you should be going out of the country with him!" I don't think... so is she saying yes?
"You don't think..." I reply quietly. I hear a heavy sigh and a mumbling of words.
"Juliet... I wish the best for you and I wish for you to listen to common sense. But you are a grown woman and I... I don't want you going but I know I can't exactly stop you." She says with distaste.
"Why don't you want me going? I thought you liked Zayn." I begin rubbing between my eyes - hoping to relieve any stress and tension in my body.
"Just because I like him doesn't mean I approve of you leaving the country with him." She replies with a snap. I feel Louis' hand rub on my back and I look up at him - I had almost forgotten he was here.
"I just, we're going to be safe." I assure.
"Jules if I raised you correctly, you would have common sense and realize that leaving the country with a boy you just met is not a good idea. Maybe Kate rubbed off on you too much - I knew I shouldn't have let her be around you." She sighs with disappointment.
"Kate has nothing to do with this! You never let me talk to her let alone see her!" I had to steal Kate's number from my mom's phone before I left for Boulder. I was never allowed to have her or Steven's number - I never asked why.
That was the thing though, I didn't ask questions when it came to my mom. The subject of family was always sensitive - her hate towards Steven and Kate always a mystery but never something to be messed with.
"Watch your tone Juliet. I am your mother and you will be respectful." I clench my jaw in order not to say anything else. "Jules you do what you want - but I'm not paying for the ticket."
"It's okay." I mumble quietly. "I already have that covered. I just... I wish you'd be okay with this." I want her approval, her approval of Zayn and I taking this step, her approval of me and Zayn finally becoming a stronger couple.
"Call me when you land, please." She says calmly.
"I promise we're staying with his family and I won't do anything stupid." I try to gain approval yet again. I can't stop myself from doing it.
"Will you be back for Jeremy's birthday?" She asks in a monotone.
"Yes!" I almost exclaim - hoping that will make her happy and approve of the trip. "Yes, Zayn planned it so we will be back for that." I assure.
"And is he coming to that? Or will he show up late and punch Matt again?" She questions harshly.
I feel my stomach drop and shake my head - even though she can't see it. I look at Louis in desperation and he takes my hand, squeezing it with a kind smile.
"He didn't... You don't understand."
"All I understand is, Matt came in with a bloody nose and then walked in Zayn a few minutes later... Yet you still deny the fact that he might have hurt you." She says calmly.
"He has never laid a finger on me." I emphasize each word with disgust - disgust with the idea of my mom thinking Zayn would hurt me like that.
"Right." She sighs. "Juliet call me everyday you are there. I want to know what is going on and how you are feeling and if anything happens." She states firmly. "If you miss a day - I will call the police."
I don't reply to the comment - I don't tell her how that made no sense. How much help would the police be able to do in America when I am in Bradford, not that anything was going to happen. My mom was just being dramatic.
"Okay." I reply.
"Jules... please be safe." She sighs heavily. "I don't want to see you hurt or... anything."
"Okay." I reply numbly again.
"Goodbye Jules." She sighs, hanging up. I look to Louis who raises an eyebrow.
"That was a weird as fuck conversation from this end." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
"Is it weird I want her to approve of this trip?" I sigh, dropping my phone to my lap with a frown on my lips. I can't understand why I seek the approval, but I do.
"Did she say no?" Louis' eyes widen at the words. He watches me with full observation - waiting for me to reply.
"She didn't say no or yes... she just said be safe." I frown even more.
"Well... I don't think it's weird you seek the approval. Everything you've done in life seems like it's been approved by her, I think it's good she doesn't approve."
I look to him with a confused frown and a wrinkling forehead. Sure I could loosen up more, but is it really a good thing she doesn't approve of a trip across the country?
"You're an adult, you get to do what you want." Louis smiles brightly explaining his previous statement.
"Jules does she um... Does she think Zayn... Does she think he hit you?" Louis finally manages his question. I look to him and slowly shake my head.
"No I just... I don't know, she knows he hit Matt the night of Thanksgiving... I'm not sure why she would think he hurt me." I frown with a heavy sigh. I sure as heck hope that Matt didn't say anything to her that night.
It's quiet in the car. Louis and I sitting in the warm vehicle, snow drifting down and forming a thin layer over the windshield.
"So... You're going to Bradford?" Louis' tone lightens with energy and his smile matches it.
I was going to Bradford. I was going on an adventure. I was living a life of my own. I was doing everything I could never imagine doing. Leaving the country without my moms approval, being in love with a boy who was in society's eyes 'all wrong for me', I was diving head first into the unknown.
Bradford... Where Zayn grew up, where his childhood took place, where his family lives and memories stay.
Bradford - where his nightmares and secrets live, waiting for him to come back home.
"I'm going to Bradford."
(A/N
1. GOOD NEWS!!! :) I have officially decided to write a SEQUEL! :) So many of you wanted it and I love writing when there is such beautiful and kind support! So I will be making a second book of One Night!
2. I also graduate tomorrow night! Finally done with high school! :) For those of you wondering I am attending CU Boulder for college!)