Chapter 17 - Haunted
Something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted. Come one, come on don't leave me like this.
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't go back I'm haunted...
Louis
It's been three days, three whole days since I last saw those blue eyes that drive me crazy and feel like home. I haven't left the hospital but once each day to go shower and change into clean clothes. Other than that I've spent my hours sitting next to her either looking or talking to her. Sometimes I read to her, sometimes I sing, sometimes I just stare at her and cry. Cry because this is partly my fault. It was my fault she left in such a hurry and that she was crying unconsolably. And cry because I'm afraid she'll never wake up so I can tell her how I feel, so I can see those blue eyes and get lost in them, so we can move on. The tears won't come now as I stare at her tiny body so pale she gets lost in the white of the sheets. Her brown hair fans out on the pillow making a sharp contrast against her skin. Her colorless face highlighting the harsh red cuts and bruises. Every time I see her like this I feel like my lungs are being tightened by a noose and I can't breathe. The doctors say she should wake up but as the days pass I feel my hope falling. She was unconscious when she arrived but woke up a few times while they were working on her. They had to get her into surgery to repair her leg and stop the bleeding and after that they bandaged up her head and right shoulder. Apparently the force of the crash caused her right shoulder to pop out and her head to smash into what they guess was the window. Other than her leg and head there were no other serious injuries and I know she's lucky to have suffered no permanent damage let alone be alive. Its been utter chaos these last few days with calling Victoria to tell her about the accident, with Kiran's anxiety attack and just trying to hold it together. Victoria has been by her daughter's side and by mine since she arrived early yesterday morning. She's stayed strong through everything and I can't help but admire her. Victoria was so relieved and happy to see me that when she hugged me I broke down in her arms. Will had been like a second father and Victoria like a second mother so it felt safe. She calmed me down and told me Grace was going to be fine. Grace. I can't stop repeating her name in my head. Grace. Grace. Maybe if I say it long enough she'll wake up. Simon came by just a couple of hours ago to see how she was doing and to tell us that we didn't have to go into the studio for a while.
"Grace, can you hear me love? Please just come back to me. Come back to us. Stay with me. You can't leave me, I ...I love you." I sigh and brush my fingertips across her face. Her skin is so soft; I love touching her skin. "I forgive you for not saying anything. Your father wouldn't want us to be fighting and well neither does your mother. God I hadn't realized how much I missed her and how much I miss my own mother. She knows everything." I chuckle to myself. "She got it out of me. You know how she can be." I stay silent for a minute just staring at her. My heart beating painfully in my chest.
"Your mother told me Will left me his beloved piano. I haven't seen that thing in years and I can still picture it in my mind perfectly. We used to spend hours playing and singing with him and your mother. I remember Christmas eight years ago when both of our families sang christmas carols while Will played. We were so happy then. Everything seemed so simple and then you left the year after and it was awful. Those first months were horrible. I found myself walking to your house automatically and then my heart broke when I saw it dark and empty. I used to go to the park and sit on the swings and think about you. I still have it you know." I wrap my left hand around the metal key hanging just above my heart. "The key. I wear it around my neck as a reminder of our promise and a reminder of you. " I smile remembering all the times I felt it against my skin and felt like Grace was there with me.
"You thought that I'd forgotten about you but I didn't. I talked about you constantly with the lads. They were so surprised when they found out you were my Grace. Niall was a bit offended you didn't tell him but of course being Niall and all he got over it quickly. Actually all it took was one look at you." Niall stepped into the room blue eyes rimmed red and stared for minutes without blinking. He took one shaky breath and let the tears fall. I knew right there and then he had forgiven Grace. "Everyone's visited you. They want you to wake up so we can hangout at the studio. Leah and Avril have stayed with Kyle and Kiran since they heard. They've been holding them together. And your Aunt Beth has been keeping an eye on your mother." I remember Aunt Beth some but not really as much. She only came around on holidays so I didn't see her all the time.
"Kiran's been so upset and I understand why with everything she's been through. After the panic attack she had she told us about her family and about the fire. I guess when someone's been through so much loss one becomes traumatized. Liam's been really helpful though. He was able to calm her down and he's been watching her."
I chuckle to myself again and squeeze her cold hand. "I think he likes her. Liam acts differently around her. It's like what happened with Danielle never existed. He seems better with her here; no more pouting or looking sad. There is a smile on his face that was gone after Danielle broke up with him. You coming back into my life and into the lads' has been the greatest thing for us. The lads have never been happier than they are with you girls. I mean Zayn was always worried Leah wouldn't have anyone to be with when she came with us and now she does. Niall seems to be best friends with all three of you and Harry well...lets just say he's happy being around Kyle. And me well I just want you to come back so we can start over and make new memories. Please come back." I finish my voice cracking at the first word. My chest feels tight like I can't breathe.
"She will." I turn around surprised and find Victoria standing at the door. I smile shakily and sighs. Victoria smiles warmly and reassuringly and come towards me.
I clear my throat of the knot that seemed to have made its way in. "How long have you been here?" I ask wanting to know if she heard everything I'd just revealed. Her eyes rest on me after looking at her sleeping daughter.
Her grey eyes seem sad and tired but hopeful. Its the same look she has every time she's around Grace. Victoria truly believes Grace will come back to us soon. "Long enough to know that those words mean the world to her." Her eyes flicker to her daughters face and she smiles revealing the dimple on her right cheek that Will loved. He used to say it all the time; always making her smile just to see it. "Since Will's death she's not been herself. Her eyes didn't light up like they used to. I saw that light again when she Skyped to tell me the news of the deal with Mr. Cowell. She was ecstatic and I was so relieved to see her like that. The next time she called her eyes were shinning a little less brightly and I just assumed it was just normal teenage worries. I never thought it was because she was hiding her identity from you." Victoria shakes her head in bewilderment and I silently listen to her. "Malakai called me on Wendsay and I could instantly tell something was different. Her eyes were shinning and she had the biggest smile on her face. All she talked about was the girls and you lads. She told me she wanted me to come for a visit soon. I told her I'd come as soon as could to see my girls." Victoria smiles at that and I smile too because I know she always wanted another child but never could at least biologically and then Kiran found her way to Victoria. "I asked about you then and the line went silent." She says and I brace myself for her next words. "She said you were okay and that she was glad to have you back in her life."
My heart skips a beat at her words and my eyes fall on Grace. "Did she really say that?" I ask hoping to God it's true. "Yes." I hear Victoria say and a tear rolls down my cheek. I let out a shaky breathe as relief swamps me. I stand up and brush wayward strands if hair out of her face and place a kiss on her forehead and breathe her in. The leftover smell of vanilla so familiar.
Please wake up. I want to stare into those blue eyes that have haunted my sleep for years.
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Kai
Darkness. It surrounds me. Engulfs me. Smothers me. Darkness is all I see, all I feel. I welcomed the darkness at first because it took the pain away but now it has its claws embedded into my soul refusing to let go.
I float through my memories. The ones I tries so hard to repress. Louis and I singing together. Louis and I playing at the park. Us with my dad as he played the piano. Kicking the ball around my backyard and Louis always beating me at football (soccer). The memories seem like a lifetime ago. A time when we only worried about silly little things. A time when everything was simpler. And we were all happy and together.
A voice calls to me. I try so hard to move out of the shadows so I can find him. I know that voice. He sounds sad but the words belong to me. I fight the darkness but I'm not strong enough and it sucks me back in.
My head hurts and my eyes seem to weigh a ton. A tingling sensation runs up my arm and I feel someone squeeze my hand. I want to open my eyes but I can't. I try squeezing back and manage to do it. Someone moves beside me.
"Grace?"
I stop breathing and wait to hear that voice again.
"Grace, can you hear me?"
It's him. He's here. I whimper at the knowledge that he's here beside me because my voice won't come.
"If you can hear me show me, love. Move."
I squeeze his hand again and hear a breath of relief leave him.
"Victoria! Call the nurse! She's awake!" He yells and I realize he said my mothers name. She's here too! He brushes away what I guess is hair from my face and lays a kiss on my forehead. His warm lips on my skin send goosebumps all over my body.
"Open your eyes for me, love." I try opening them and squint because of the overwhelming brightness. "Please open them." He all but pleads and I open them fully blinking to chase the blurriness away. I search for him and find him right beside me. He looks exhausted with dark shadows under his beautiful green-blue eyes and a couple of days worth of stubble on his face.
He sighs. "There are my beautiful blue eyes." He says with suck relief that is seems as though the weight of the whole world was taken off his shoulders.
"Louis." I manage to say even though my throat is dry and sore. The smile that takes over his face makes my heart skip a beat and my chest tighten with love.
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Hey lovies!! This chapter came together rather quickly in my mind and well I thought you might want to know what's going through Louis' mind after the accident and this was the way to do it. (Or so I hope) So I hope you like this revealing chapter. Thank you for reading! Picture on the side!!
Comment and vote!
Love, Kamila ;)