Twenty-Two
Promise exhaled softly as her green-blue irises focused on the soft darkened curls atop Zayne's head. She allowed her fingers to gently sweep through his scalp, silently hoping that it was bringing him some form of comfort. His light labored breaths tickled her stomach as he lay on top of her, his arms wrapped around her tiny waist. She continued to stroke his head while her eyes slid over the bridge of his nose and lightly freckled cheeks. They'd been laying there for about an hour or so, the quietude very much needed at that point.
She could sense the way that the sudden visitation of Zayne's mother had taken quite a toll on him. He didn't seem like himself as he laid there trying to stifle his obvious discomfort at displaying his emotions to her. Ever so often he would squeeze both sides of her frame, pulling her just a bit closer. He was so open, but it was no secret that he hated that he couldn't help himself. She wanted to cheer him up. She wanted to show him that he was of value, that he was cared about; that he was loved.
She loved him.
One day she would let him know, but for now, she would go on concealing it. She figured that it wasn't the right time for fear that he would completely close himself off to her. She lightly grabbed the back of his head, nearly forcing him to move his body further up her frame. "You're not weak Zayne,"She spoke quietly. His green orbs fluttered open at her words. He arched an eyebrow, probably wondering how she could easily detect what he was thinking. He hadn't said a word since they'd been laying there. She curled her fingers around his jawline, her thumb gently caressing his cheek. She searched his eyes, finding nothing but sadness and disappointment.
Zayne licked his lips, his eyes gliding over her face,"Well, how come I feel that way?" He pressed his palms flat into the bed trying to free himself from their current position. She swiftly wrapped her legs around his waist, confining him there. She smirked as his body gently collided with hers once more. She found that she actually enjoyed the weight of him being pressed up against her. He grunted as his bottom lip folded into his mouth. "Trying to leave me?" She queried.
She traced his full lips with her fingertips. He then leaned downwards and lay his head into the crook of her neck. She sighed as she felt his light breaths, the action almost being a sense of comfort to her. "No," He feathered kissed the side of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him that much closer. His hands found a home around her waist, his way of silently succumbing to her. She unraveled her legs from his waist while her hands never faltered.
They laid there, holding one another – trapped in an evident lovers' embrace. "How come I feel that way?"He questioned again. Promise kissed the side of his face and he tensed up. She nearly grinned at that, figuring that her affection towards him was still fairly new. He quickly relaxed seconds later. "Because you're allowing yourself to Zay. Your feelings towards your mother are making you doubt yourself," She replied. He pulled his face from the home that he'd made and peered into her eyes.
"You have no reason to doubt yourself babe."She informed him as he still lay staring into her eyes. She wanted him to know just how amazing he'd been. She wanted to make known to him the man that she and her son had the pleasure of watching him transform into. His gaze finally faltered towards her lips. "I can't help but to. I just, I don't..."He mumbled almost inaudibly. She began to shake her head. It was almost unreal at the way he was looking at himself now, but she couldn't really blame him.
Zayne began to peel her fingers away from their previous position. She allowed him to that time, although she really didn't want to let him go. His back hit the bed with a soft thud, shifting the bed underneath them. He laid beside her with his left arm tucked behind his head and his right at his side. She found herself staring at the ceiling as a comfortable silence seemed to envelop them. In what felt like a mere second, his fingers danced aimlessly up and down her forearm. She averted her gaze to him. She caught sight of his handsome visage as he mindlessly gnawed at his bottom lip again. He appeared to be deep in thought at the moment.
She moved over some, not wanting to disturb his thought process. He suddenly grabbed a hold of her hand, ceasing all of her movement. He intertwined their fingers together. She glanced over at him once more and this time he met her stare. "I can't be alone. I've actually never wanted to be alone, but I've always felt like that my whole life. Just felt like it was me against everybody," He peered at her with a face void of any emotion, but his eyes were the window to decoding him as usual. The two green pools told a story of their own. "It's all I know Promise."He admitted while squeezing her hand tighter.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"For some reason, I believe you when you say that."
"It's the truth. I care too much about you. You know that."
Promise turned on her side so that she wouldn't have to keep straining her neck. She wanted to see his face. "Yeah, I think I do."He implied, turning his frame to accommodate his need to watch her as he explained himself. "You know I do."She corrected him. He smiled warily, although the gesture didn't reach his eyes. "I've always hurt others before they could do the same to me. Tried to tell myself that love wasn't something I needed, approval wasn't something I needed... my mother wasn't something that I needed. I wanted to believe that I didn't need anybody..."His voice trailed off at his sudden confession.
She squeezed his hand, coaxing him to go on. She knew how bad that he needed to express himself. She was so willing to be his friend – a shoulder, a confidant. She never knew how much she desired to know that part of him until that moment. "Until I met you, until I saw you again in class that day...with your beautiful eyes and your need to always tell me about myself."He chuckled lightly. Promise's lips folded into a small smile, her cheeks tinting a light hue of red. It warmed her heart to hear him finally find something to smile about. "Even though my dad wasn't the best at everything, he still tried. When I think about it now, he was only doing what he thought was right. I don't think he really thought that his choices would affect me."He continued on. The grin that was once there had already disappeared just as quickly as it'd come.
"I've ran away from my problems for as long as I can remember. I don't want to run, but those are my instincts. It's always made things easier."
"I know."
"I resented my mother for a long time, and today I swear...I wanted to hate her. I wanted to so bad, but I couldn't. You know why?"
Promise began to caress his forefinger with her thumb. He clutched onto her hand which in turn made her stare that much deeper into his green orbs. They had grown angry, yet they nearly spilled over with fresh tears. She quickly grasped a hold of his face just as he shut his eyes to cease any movement of them. They still managed to free themselves from the barriers that his eyelids created. She rubbed her thumbs under the pads of his eyes. "I'm so fucking angry!"He willed himself to say. She nearly flinched at the rough baritone that was his voice. "But even still...I love her. The little boy in me still loves her, that's why."He conjectured, his eyes still shut tight.
It appeared to have pained him just to admit that much. His lightly freckled cheeks were a soft pink shade now and his full lips housed a deep grimace. The room had gone quiet again with only the sounds of their soft breathing and the slight ticking of the ceiling fan above them. "It's okay." Promise held him close to her as she whispered the words softly. He tensed up at the feeling of her being against him again but quickly relaxed into her after realizing she wasn't going to let him go. He allowed her to hold him, even though it had been made prominent that he didn't want her to witness him at his most vulnerable.
It was too late.
She'd already been exposed to the scars that were evidently left behind in his heart a long time ago.
She waited until his breathing settled down before moving against him again. She kissed his forehead prior to meshing their foreheads together. Zayne opened his eyes – the light in them nonexistent. She wanted to give him some hope. "You ever think that her not being in your life was for the best?"She inquired. His eyebrows nearly came together on his forehead, confusion settling in, "What do you mean?"
"You probably wouldn't have turned out to be half the man that you are now."She smiled at him. He shook his head in disagreement. She continued to grin at him as she nodded her head, "It's true. We wouldn't have our son. We wouldn't have each other either." He continued to peer into her green-blue irises. "God might have taken her out of your life to give you bigger blessings Zay. Sometimes he does that. He gives you something much greater in return."She told him. His hard stare seemed to soften at that.
"And believe me when I say that I have something so much greater inside of me for you."The words spilled from her lips without her approval. Her heartbeat quickened at the realization that she'd almost told him that she loved him. His piercing stare never wavered as he leaned in to kiss her. His lips were like feathers as he took her mouth hostage – light and delicate. He gave her just enough of him as he tenderly licked and nibbled on her mouth. She opened herself up to him as she gave him access to her warmth. She clutched onto his t-shirt as he savored the taste of her.
She willed herself to separate from him, because he'd taken her breath away. She exhaled while opening her eyes. His lids were lowered and he was breathing just as hard as she was. Promise smirked a little and leaned in to peck his lips a couple of times. He accepted and then nestled his face in her wild golden mane. He laid a kiss on top of her head. "Thank you."His voice came out muffled from the way he buried his face in her hair. She moved her head making his face fall just inches away from hers. "I just want you to know how much you're worth."She caressed the side of his face. He grabbed onto her hand and gave it a light squeeze. He smiled at her once more, although it still wasn't reaching his eyes.
"I have another confession," He announced, instantly catching Promise's attention. She leaned backward, pulling herself away from the snug home she'd made in his chest. Her golden curls swept over her forehead, almost falling into her eyes. He gently brushed them away from her visage, making her smile. "You..."He stopped short on purpose. She knew that he could tell just how anxious she was. He chortled quietly. She playfully pouted. "You are very special to me Promise."He glanced down into her eyes. She could sense the honesty of his words. It made her grin that much more knowing that he meant it. She could even feel that he meant it.
"And I want to be with you, but..."
"I wanna be with you too, Zay. There's nothing keeping us from being together."
He nodded his head while gently grabbing a hold of her chin. "Yes, there is baby girl."He looked sad again. "What?" She asked, defeated. She immediately began to back away from him. He sighed and grabbed her waist before she could get too far. "I know that's not what you wanted to hear babe, but I have to be honest with you and myself at this point. Seeing my mom made me that much more iffy about whether or not I'm capable of being in a relationship with you."
"It's making old feelings resurface, and the last thing I want to ever do is hurt you. I couldn't think of doing that to you...especially after everything you've done for me so far."
"Why won't you just try Zayne?"
"Because I don't know what I'm capable of at this point...don't know if I'm capable of being..."
She cut him off with a wave of her hand,"Shouldn't the want to be with me be enough?" He sighed again as he gazed into her eyes. She knew her emotions were all over her face. She was disappointed and she felt let down. "It should be, and before all of this, it was. I just don't want to mess up, and I'm afraid that I will."He gently pressed his lips into hers. Promise pressed her hand into his chest to cease his movements.
"Zayne stop."
"I can't even though I know I need to. So tell me to stop again. Keep pushing me away."
He leaned down towards her mouth, inches away from captivating her with one of his alluring kisses. She started to push him away but she couldn't. She didn't want to and she knew that he didn't want her too either. Their lips connected, the passion so potent that it made Promise quiver beneath him. "Tell me you hate me," He mumbled against her lips in between kisses. She pulled away with a shake of her head.
"No."
"Do it."
"No," Promise reiterated as she leaned back on her elbows. She knew what he was trying to do, and it wasn't going to work. She wouldn't allow it to. "I won't tell you that Zayne because I don't."She grabbed him by the back of his neck and attempted to make him peer at her. He wouldn't dare look her in the eyes so he opted on looking elsewhere. She grabbed his chin. "Why would you want me to say that?"She queried even though she was sure of what his answer would be.
"Because I need you too. Anything that's gon' keep me from adoring the fuck out of you."
"Well, that won't help. You can't fight your feelings."
"I can't fight the urges that I'm having either. So, let me go Promise. Just let me be a father to my son."
"No, I won't let you give up on what I know we have babe. I like this. I like us."
He exhaled almost like he'd been defeated right then and there, "I know, but it's what I need." She began to run her fingers up and down the nape of his neck. "What we both need is each other."She shot back as she gripped a couple of his curls. He grunted as she only pulled him closer and laid a kiss on his lips. He reciprocated the kiss just as she expected he would. He nearly moaned, "You're making me give in to you again."
She smirked,"I know, but you're giving in because I'm what you really want too."
"Why are you making this so hard for me?"He groaned as he found himself biting her neck. Her hand glided down the front of his chest, rubbing his abs. His breath seemed to get caught in his throat as she slipped both hands over his v-cut. She knew that was one of his spots. She kept lowering her hands until they reached his manhood. He was only clad in a pair of thin gray sweatpants. She pulled them down and gripped his girth in her hand. He nearly became undone at that. "Well, would you look at that? Hm. Your whole body wants me...especially him."She said seductively as he only seemed to grow with the tight hold she had on him.
He moaned as she rubbed up and down his shaft,"Shit."
"Call yourself gonna leave, huh? I think not. Do I have to show you why you're not gonna be able to leave me alone?"
He gripped Promise's hand just as she squeezed him a little tighter. He was starting to pulsate right in her grasp. It was obvious that he never had a woman be bold enough to take control. "You like when I take control Zayne?"His bottom lip was tucked underneath his front teeth. She quickly switched positions with him. She sat on top of him, just short of his manhood. She had already rid herself of her panties as she sat on his stomach, rubbing her hands up and down his stomach. His green orbs were thin slits – lust so thick that he could be mistaken for someone highly intoxicated.
Her love cavern was already dripping just from watching the look on his face. It slightly amused her that he hadn't uttered one word. He'd just let her have control. She leaned forward, leaving a trail of her love on his abs. She kissed on his neck, sucking at his caramel skin – leaving her mark on him. He grunted as his hands gripped her waist tighter. She licked up his neck, stopping short of his ear. She nibbled on it,"You are mine."
He wasn't going to tell her any different.
Promise leaned backward and positioned herself at his manhood. He was standing at attention. He just continued to watch her every move. He was still rendered speechless. "So turned on, can't say anything."She smirked, still teasing him. She then grabbed a hold of him and guided him towards her hot entrance. They moaned simultaneously as she coated him with her essence.
Her body tensed up at the familiar feeling of him already hitting her spot and he hadn't even got all the way inside. She nearly whined at the sensation as she continued to guide herself. "That all you can take?"Zayne questioned, finally being able to find his voice. She locked her muscles around him, making him groan. He suddenly thrust upwards, making her cry out. She began rocking, trying to find a rhythm for both of them.
Her toes grasped the sheets as she had her way with him. He licked her taut nipples while managing to match her thrust. She would contract her muscles around him and he'd thrust so hard, that he'd knock her breath into her throat. She whimpered with her teeth tucked tight enough behind her front teeth to draw blood. He pressed her clit, drawing out her pearl with his forefinger and pointer. She opened her eyes and peered at him, wanting a glimpse at his face.
He seemed fascinated with watching himself slide in and out of her with the utmost ease. She was so wet that she was dripping all over him, coating his stomach. His abs seemed to glisten from the way the little light from the ceiling fan illuminated the room. Their moans were prominent throughout the room – the smacking of their skin just as loud. "Fuckkk!"Zayne exclaimed as she tightened around him, followed by a couple of intricate moves of her hips.
She felt his whole body tense underneath her and she knew she was doing something right. Zayne thrust upwards again trying to match her movements. He grunted, finally growing frustrated because Promise still had all the control. He gripped her waist and pulled out of her. She glared at him and he smirked at her. "Put that shit back Zay."She ordered in a husky tone. He pushed her back on the bed and opened her legs as wide as they would go.
She shivered at the way the air invaded her core. "You want it?"He asked as he stroked himself. She mustered up all the strength she had to reach forward and grab his shaft. Zayne swatted her hands away and pierced her hot opening with no remorse. She yelped as he continuously rolled his hips in a furious manner – his obvious mission being to damn near assault her cervix. "Ohhh goddd..."She whimpered. She pressed at his stomach, trying to get him to ease up on her.
He swatted her hands away from him again,"Nah, don't be a fucking track star now. Don't run." The teasing tone of his voice only turned her on that much more. He grabbed both of her hands and pinned them above her head. Their fingers were entangled together as he leaned down and connected their lips together. He kissed her rough and hard as he continued to deep stroke her middle.
Her back seemed to arch unwillingly with her nipples becoming one with his chest. She felt like she was giving in to him but she didn't mind. "See..."Promise uttered, her breath still getting caught in her throat. She opened her eyes and stared Zayne right in the face. "I knew it was mine."She moaned. Zayne grunted as he continued to please them both. He nipped at her breast with his tongue, drawing Promise that much more into him. "You think this yours, huh?"He groaned.
She nodded as she felt herself about to drift off. He plunged into her with a firm long stroke, jostling her eyes open. She whined underneath him as he went on to fill her up once more, "Shitttt. I know so." She felt that all too familiar feeling cascade over. She'd finally reached her peak. Her muscles involuntarily tightened around Zayne as her orgasm commenced. He slowed his pace, giving her a few more strokes. He followed right behind her as his body spilled over into an ecstasy spasm. He moaned gruffly as the feeling permeated his whole body.
Promise laid with her chest heaving up and down while Zayne's head lay tucked into the side her neck. His hard breaths tickled her neck as he tried to come back down from the love making high they were on. Within a moment or two, their breathing finally returned to normal. He still held her by the small of her waist – their bodies still attached. "You're gonna stop fighting me one-day Zayne."She whispered.
She knew that sex wasn't going to solve anything, but it happened nonetheless. It was consensual whether the man nestled in her arms wanted to admit it or not. She knew what he wanted despite him saying that he needed to leave her alone. There was no need to put a hold on something that had become so good to the both of them. She had to make him see that, and she would. She was going to get him even if that meant putting in work overtime.
She always gets what she wants one way or another.
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AND...
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