Chapter 3- Decisions
I called my mom to get the number to the pediatrician and called them to get a sick appointment. Thankfully the had one if we could make it there in under ten minutes. Jake told them to hold it for us and made sure we got there on time. He turned off the car and I got out to get Brianna, but Jake was there to hold me back.
"I'll get her." He said sternly and started to unbuckle her.
"Jake she doesn't even know you. You just met her today," I said.
"Yeah, no thanks to you." He looked me over. "Besides, you don't seem to be in the best condition to carry her."
I had no argument for that. "Alright."
He pulled her out of the car gently and laid her head on him. I took the keys from him and placed them in my pocketbook and started walking toward the building with Jake.
At the front desk, I sighed us in and waited for the doctor. He had been expecting us so we were called back and seen right away.
After the checkup, Dr. Capponi asked if we were her parents.
"We are," Jake answered."Is she going to be okay?"
The doctor seemed unconcerned. "She'll be fine. Kids get sick and kids get better. Just the usual. New parents like you tend to overreact sometimes, but you'll get used to it."
"So whats wrong with her?" Jake was losing his patience, but Dr. Capponi was just trying to put us at ease.
"A simple bacterial infection along with some teething. It's a nasty mess, but she'll recover. I'll prescribe her some antibiotics and have it cleared up in a few days. The vomiting was was a side effect of the fever. The dairy you put on her food list most likely encouraged it. I'd avoid it for a few days until the fever goes down. Give her the antibiotics for ten days. Don't stop them even if she feels better. Make sure she takes all of it or she could become sick again. It's also important to keep her well hydrated. If you give her juice, cut it with water. Do half and half that way it cuts down in her sugar intake, but she still gets the same benefit."
Jake and I both nodded along, but I felt very overwhelmed. There was a lot of stuff to remember. It was probably stuff that any other parent already knew and cold handle it, but I was feeling very insignificant to them. I didn't like the feeling it gave me. I wanted to be that kind of parent. Instead it was like Bree was getting short changed in the parent department. I was determined to change that immediately.
After the pharmacy and the grocery store, where I picked up a book on parenting, Jake drove us home.
"Lay her on the bed," I told him.
He placed Brianna in the middle of her bed and I sat down beside her. I didn't want her on my bed in case I had to leave her for a minute and she feel off the bed. I'd already given her the first does of antibiotics and now she was sleeping. Remembering the trash can I got up to get it from the bathroom. I put a new trash bag in it and carried it to her room and place it next to her beside the bed in case she felt sick again.
"I'm going to go to the kitchen and pour her some juice in a sippy cup, I'll will be right back," I said to Jake. He was sitting in one of Bree's little chair's watching her sleep.
He nodded and I left. When I returned and and Bree had everything she needed, I wanted to pull off my vomit clothes and shower, but I didn't know if it was too soon to leave Jake alone with her for that long. Maybe he didn't even want to stick around now that she was okay.
He glanced at me. "If you want to go get cleaned up, I'll sit with her."
I nodded, grateful. I didn't know if he was being kind or of the smell was getting to him. Either way I would accept it.
The shower felt heavenly. I had never been so happy for soap and shampoo in my life. I scrubbed and scrubbed my skin to make sure all the throw up was off of me and got dressed into a pair of Dr. Who pajamas.
Jake didn't see me walk back into Brianna's room, but he must have heard me. "How come I've never seen Bree before now?"
I sighed and sat down next to him in a Buzz Lightyear chair. "It's a long story, but I'll tell you."
"Everything."
I nodded, promising not to leave anything out. And I didn't. I told him everything from me being scared after the condom broke, to the pregnancy, to the adoption, and finally how I came to being Bree's guardian.
He sat next to her quietly, only hesitating for a second before reaching out to touch her hair. He ran a slow steady hand over her head while she slept soundly next to us.
When he spoke, his voice was sad. "Wow. She's been through so much. She lost her parents, was taken from her home and left with stranger who took her to more strangers. I don't know how she's holding it together."
"She's not," I said. "She was up most of the night crying for them."
I continued to stare at her. "I never want her to have to loose anything or anyone again."
That we could definitely agree on. "Me either." That's why I had to say what I was going to say next. I had to know. "So are you in or out?"
He snapped his head to me quickly. "What?"
"Don't act so surprised. Please. Let's save ourselves the time. I just want to know if you plan on sicking around."
He looked like he couldn't believe I was asking him that. "You're kidding me, right?"
"No," I said. "I'm not."
"I stick with you for everything we just went through and you think I'm going to bail. You're the reason I've been absent from her life this long."
I looked at the floor. "You're right. That was my mistake. I can't change that. But I can change what happens from now on. And I need to know. I need to hear the words. Promise me, Jake. Are you sticking around?"
He starts to speak and before he can answer me, interrupt him. "Think long and hard about this before you answer. If you stay, this changes everything: between you and your parents, you and me, and you and Kristy. You see, I've already thought about this and I know what I am risking with Caleb to be doing this, to be a mom, for never telling him the truth. And I am willing to risk that. I am willing to put all of that on the line for Bree. I will choose her over everyone. Can you do the same?"
I don't have a lot of faith in Jake. I don't know if he can handle all of this. He had a girlfriend who he has been in a relationship with on and off for two years. They both broke it off when they got bored of each other or wanted something different. He couldn't do that with Bree. He had to be here for her all the time or leave. He couldn't pick and choose.
"I want to do it," he said. "I want to see her and know her and care for her. I will choose her over everyone."
I looked for any sign in his voice and features that revealed he was lying, but I found nothing. He stared at me with unwavering loyalty toward Bree. I could see the determination in his eyes. He was series. He wasn't backing down.
"Okay then. You're in."
He touched Bree's head again. "How do we do this?"
"I think the first step is to tell your parents. And then I need to call Bree's social worker and tell her you aren't giving up your parental rights and to expect you in court next month."
"And after that?"
I sighed. "I don't know. See where it goes, I guess. I don't think jerking Bree around from house to house is what she needs right now, not after everything she's been through. Right now she needs stability, routine. So maybe for now, you can come visit her here anytime you like. Within reason, of course. Don't show up in the middle of the night or anything."
"Okay," he said. "I can get on bored with that."
"Maybe we start out by doing things with her together and go from there."
"I like that."
"I just have a few conditions first." I knew he might not like them, but I had to get them out there. He looked at me, waiting. "You and Kristy or whoever you are dating, need to keep your relationship away from Bree. Don't tangle her up in your mess. Most of the girls you date come with too much drama. I don't want her to see that."
"And what about you and Caleb Fairway?"
"This applies to us too. I won't flaunt him around Bree until you and I both feel that she's ready. I don't want to confuse her anymore than she already is. We both have to agree to this."
"I don't think that will be a problem. Kristy will probably flip her lid when she finds out I have a kid." He picked up Brianna's hand and held it. "But that's a risk I'm willing to take." Without looking at me he asked, "Anything else?"
"No," I said. "Do you have anything to add?"
"I want you and Bree to come with me to tell my parents the news. I think it will be better if she's there. They will keep themselves in check."
I raised my eyebrows. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"I've known them my whole life. Trust me."
I didn't like the idea, he he seemed confident. After all, I didn't really know his family like he did.
"If you're sure," I said. "Okay. But if things so bad, we're leaving."
He agreed and didn't say much else after that. We sat in silence and watched Bree snooze. She seemed to sleep well. After and hour passed, Jake stood up and said he had to meet Kristy so he could tell her everything.
To my surprise, he leaned over and gave Bree and kiss on the cheek before leaving. I hated to admit what that did to my insides. He loved her already. I didn't think it was possible for him to feel that way so quickly.
Maybe Jake wasn't at all who I thought he was.
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A/N
Did you know that more than 2,000 teen girls in the United States get pregnant every day? In fact, 3 in 10 girls will become pregnant at least once by age 20. And even though nearly all teens say they don't want to get pregnant, most of them have never really thought about how getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant would affect their lives. The more you know about issues like sex, relationships, waiting, and contraception, the better prepared you will be to make informed choices for your future. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE VISIT www.stayteen.org