Requested by @AckermanMilkCompany
Trigger warning! Suicide and bullying is depicted. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal please call the suicide hotline ( 1-800-273-8255) or talk to a trusted friend or adult.
Smile. Look at them and act like you are fine. Smile. They don't care how you feel anyways. No one does. I walk through the halls of Riverdale high. Kids mock me and shove me around. I keep my eyes in the ground. One more day. One more day.
As I stop at my locker and see Jughead Jones. A sight for sore eyes. "Hey," He says. His blue orbs meet mine and a soft smile forms on his.
"Hi," I say weakly. Jughead and I used to be best friends. But then life happened. And he got pulled into a life of action by Archie Andrews and Betty Cooper, with the new girl Veronica Lodge. Leaving me alone with the wolves.
"Juggie," Betty says as she approaches his locker. He looks at me pleading me to stay but I shut my locker and turn around as Betty kisses him. One more day. One more day.
As I walk into the class room I hear Reggie's loud booming voice even through my head phones. I rip them out as the teacher looks over. "Look at this freak," He scoffs as I shuffle to the back corner of the class room. "Poor little skank." The kids chuckle a bit as I pick up my journal. Reggie walks back and rips it from my hands and laughs at the words.
"Give it back," I mumble. I attempt to rip it from his hands and he laughs holding it above my head.
"Not a chance," He says, "I feel like I should share this gold mine with the world."
"Please do so," Cheryl says joining him.
"'I still repeat the things he said to me,'" He reads out, "'maybe in an effort to make me understand what happened. Why he left me so quickly. She showed her pale pink world to him and he got bored of my dark grey. I'm nothing like her. She is pretty and perfect.'"
"And you're a fat ugly pig," Cheryl taunts as the crowd laughs. I rip the notebook out of Reggie's hands and shove it in my backpack and pull away from the crowd. Wiping my eyes once they can't see me.
"Sit down!" The teacher groans not caring about what happened. No one cares. One more day. One more day.
The bell rings and I collect my things ready to leave and I run into Jughead again. His raven curls clinging to his face. "Are you okay?" He asks. Smile.
"Yeah just tired," I lie. And severally depressed and suicidal.
"Alright," He says, "just a little worried. I haven't seen you in the library the past couple weeks."
"Just a little busy," I say. Busy avoiding you and Betty dangling your relationship in front of me.
"We haven't talked in so long," He says. Because you broke me.
"Sorry," I mumble, "but like I said I'm busy." He nods as Betty calls for him.
"I better get going," He says. I nod. This is the last day. A couple more hours. That's all thats left.
"I get it....Bye Jughead," I say. He walks away and joins Betty. I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal, but really it broke my heart. It always did. The familiar pain of my heavy heart stings me and I watch him. I check my watch. Only a little bit longer. Just smile.
I fold up the note neatly and place it on top of my books in my locker. 'Dear Classmates' It has labeled on it. Soon. I shut the locker and back away from it. Then slipping the other note into Jughead's locker. Not much longer. Not much longer.
As I walk into the quiet house I sigh in relief. Soon.
I walk through the hallway into my small room. I lock the door behind me and move to the edge of my bed. I grab the box from under the bed and pull the lid off. Pulling the fresh blades from the box. I set them on the bed then pull off the sweatshirt I was wearing. Revealing hundreds of small cuts on my arms.
"Finally," I mumble to myself. I grab my phone and pull up mine and Jughead's conversation and hit send on a draft message. I throw it down and chuckle softly. I take the blades and slide into the bathroom.
******
-Jughead's POV-
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I pull it out. It was from Y/n? My heart beats quickly as I open the message. Then it drops.
Goodbye Jughead. I always loved you. But it seems pretty pink is more your style. Besides. Who would ever love a broken girl? I guess now its who would ever love a dead girl huh?
The fuck does she mean?
"Whats wrong Jughead?" Betty mumbles.
"I've- I- have to go," I say jumping up from booth we were sitting at.
"Whats wrong?" Betty asks.
"My friend Y/n I think she- or she is-" I didn't want to say the words. I wave to Betty and run to my bike. Climbing on then speeding to her house. I run inside straight to her room in the back. I fumble with the doorknob but nothing. It was locked. "Y/n!" I scream, "unlock the door! Its me Jughead!" Nothing. I sigh and take a couple steps back and run into the door again and again until it finally pops out of place. I get inside and search around nothing. But the sound of running water. I move to her bathroom and pull open the door to the most horrific scene. The girl I loved sitting in the tub fully clothed with her wrists slit. "Y/n no no no," I mumble. I walk towards the tub and pull her out of it. "Come on come on," I sob. I lay her on the ground and push against her chest trying to get her breathing while her blood pools around her. "Please please Y/n no," I sob.
"Jughea- Oh my god," Betty gasps.
"Help me!" I scream at her. She grabs her phone as I turn back to the lifeless frame of my best friend. I press my forehead to hers. "I loved you... I loved you please. Please... Please Y/n don't leave me."
"We need help our friend she committed suicide," Betty says into the phone.
"Please you can't be dead," I sob, "I can't do this without you please."
"137 astor lane," Betty says. I could barely hear her over my sobs. I caress her cheek my tears crashing against her face.
"Damn it!" I scream, "no please." I sat there for what felt like forever just holding on to her. Until I felt people pulling me away. The ambulance had come for her. "No!"
"Jughead," Betty says, "they have to take her." I wipe my eyes and let go of her small frame. They check her pulse and sigh. Placing her inside a body bag and taking her away from me. My sniffling self was all that could be heard. I lean my head onto Betty's shoulder and loose it. I had loved her more than anything else. So I let her go so I wouldn't hurt her and now she's gone.
******
It had been a week since her death, funeral day. I adjust my clothes before I walk into the funeral home. Surprisingly all of Riverdale was here. Even Reggie and Cheryl. Archie and Betty run towards me. Pulling me into hugs.
"Are you okay?" Betty asks. I look down at my shoes.
"Honestly? Not at all," I say, "she's gone because I wasn't there for her. I left her for the assholes in this town and she's fucking dead."
"Jug," Archie says, "its not you're fault."
"Like hell it isn't!" I exclaim, "If I was there for her I could of helped her, made sure she was taking her meds. Something-" I could feel the tears in my eyes. "I could of done anything."
"Juggie," Betty mumbles. I wipe my eyes and sigh, "you should go see her."
"Yeah," I mumble. I walk to the casket with Betty hanging on my arm. Once I reach the casket I see the beautiful girl. Her s/c skin paler and lifeless. I feel sick seeing her all dressed up like this. "She would never wear a pink dress," I say looking at the dress in her figure, "she hated pink."
"Jug," Betty mumbles.
"Can I have a moment?" I ask Betty. She nods and pulls away, leaving me at the casket alone. I pull the daisy from my pocket and sit it in her hands. "I know its too late to say this.... But I love you... loved. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry." I look down her small frame and sigh, looking down at the note she had slipped in my locker.
'Smile'