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"I don't think I can do this" I whine to him, hyperventilating. I can't just ditch college, I have to think about my attendance, it's only one day but will I get in trouble? This course is important to me and I'm not prepared to just abandon it.
"Darcy it's okay, it's one day, that's all, you'll be back in tomorrow safe and sound, you deserve to have a little fun" Issac tries to reassure me but I'm still on edge, I've never missed a day of education - only if I've been ill and even then I still try to go in.
"You're stressing, just breath, relax, everything will be okay" Issac smiles at me, we've had breakfast and gotten ready, I've had to borrow some of Amelia's clothes just a cute slogan top and some jeans.
"Just come with me, you'll be okay" Issac gently takes my hand from my position on the counter and guides me towards him taking my other hand.
"No, we have to go to college" I frown, "I've planned a really good day, you'll love it" Issac smiles slowly guiding me out the door, I've my little pink fluffy bag pack on my back and my shoes on.
"If you get told off I'll get told off to since we're ditching together" He shrugs, "So I'll be with you"
I feel uneasy but I let him guide me to his car, college is going to ring my mom when they notice my absence then she'll panic and get Ezra involved and he'll try track me down.
I sit in Issac's car quietly panicking, my phone is shaking in my hand but it's turned off, it's been off since I left home, I didn't wanna talk to them.
I'm over stressing, I know it, I can feel it but I can't stop it, my brain is just constantly running and I can't stop, my body is heating up with panic and worry, I start to feel sick but darkness comes when I close my eyes.
The cars moving, I have no idea where to but I can feel the motion it's relaxing in a way, reminds me of the day trips me and dad always used to go on, he'd take me to the beach, fairs, amusement parks, museums etc.
I wish for nothing more for him to be with me right now but at the same time I want to be with Issac just as much, my dad left us without a single thought, carelessly but Issac even when I rejected him he's still here for me, ditching a day of college just to take me somewhere nice.
"Darc? Are you okay?" Issac sounds worried, I crack my eyes open slowly, "Yeah, sorry I just needed a minute" I mumble embarrassed.
"It's okay" He smiles and goes back to the road, we're on the motorway, where are we going?
"Where are you taking Ellie tonight?" I change the subject, in a way I wanted Ellie and Issac to work, she'd be so happy and they look like a cute couple but on the other hand I don't.
I don't know what that feeling is, I've told Issac we can't be together like that so why can't I fully accept him and Ellie to be together?
"Frankie and Bennies, it's her favourite" He shrugs, "You know her favourite restaurant?" I frown my eyebrows, I didn't know they were close, I know they've been at primary school and high school together but that's about it.
"Yeah" He nods, "I've known Ellie my whole life nearly, her family and mine were always close, they used to live in the same street but they moved, we weren't best friends or anything but I don't know, she's always just been there, we hung out a few times and I guess I just remembered things about her" He shrugs.
"And you've never thought of her in, that way?" I frown, "Not really, just never thought about it, I guess it's just weird for me because I've known her since we were babies I've basically grown up with her" He relaxes, the sky a pretty shade for the morning.
"I can understand that, I used to have a crush on a boy I went to primary school with but he never felt the same back because he'd known me since nursery" I shrug, "Well, he's mad" Issac shakes him head making me giggle.
"So how do you know I'll like where you're taking me?" I narrow my eyes, he comes off the motorway I try to recognise my surroundings but I'm not sure where we are.
"I know you'll like it" He smirks, "Should I be worried?" I raise my eyebrows.
"No, I promise you will love it" He winks. I sit back in the chair unsure, Issac wouldn't take me anywhere horrible I know that, I appreciate him doing this, I feel slightly better just being in his company.
We travel for another ten minuets before coming to our destination, he pulls onto a car park. I still can't tell where we are, "We have to walk to the entrance" He nods, grabbing his items and shoving them in pockets before getting out.
He signals for me to stay where I am, I raise my eyebrows confused, but then see him make his way around the car to my side and open my door, "Why thank you" I smile when I step out, no one has ever opened a car door for me.
"No problem my Darling Darcy" He winks, "Now come on, I can't wait for you to see this place" He smiles wide and gently takes my hand leading me towards the entrance.
I laugh at his excitement dragging me across the car park. We come to a little grass bank with a path in the middle and a massive giraffe silver statue, are we at an animal museum?
I give him a confused look which only makes him smirk mysteriously, I grow excited as I see more little animal statues I'm convinced it's a museum or something.
We reach the top of the bank and climb some steps until we see the entrance, I stop in shock, he's taken me to the zoo!
I smile with joy, "You've brought me to the zoo?!" My face breaks out in what I think is the biggest smile I've ever managed in my life and throw my arms around him, "Thank you so much"
I love animals, I've never been to a zoo before but I've always wanted to come, "It's no problem, anything to see that smile" Issac looks down at me, I look into his eyes feeling tingly before breaking away quickly, "Let's gooo!" I squeal and run in.
Issac sorts the tickets out when we reach the desk, I feel bad for everything he's putting in but he's told me to stay looking at the stuffed animal toys, like a five year old, because he wants me to have a good time.
I feel bad I can't repay him the favour, without mom I don't have anything to my name. I'm going to have to return home at some point, I know it's only been a day - an afternoon - but it felt like I'd run away or something, they have no idea where I am all they know is that I'm with Issac.
"No frowning" Issac appears next to me making me jump, "Let's go see the animals" He smiles and we walk out of the little reception/gift area and out into the zoo, I see Gibbons first.
"Awh Issac look! They're so cute" I point, they're up in the trees making a loud 'whoop' sound, I guess after a while that could be very irritating but there cuteness makes up for it, "What are they?" Issac squirts up in the tree, "Where are they?"
"They're apes" I smile and then point up to where they are in the tree, there's two in the tree and two on the ground.
"Oh my god, Darcy look it's right by the window" Issac runs off to something else being the Macaques, he's sitting by the window in the hut that's his house.
"Oh I love these! Apparently any food that isn't eaten immediately can be stored in there cheek pouches, how amazing would that be?" I smile at him placing my fingertip on the glass where he's sitting, "I'd love to have that" Issac does the same as we drag our fingers around the window, laughing as he tries to keep up with both of us.
We carry on walking seeing some flamingos and snow leopards which Issac took great interest in, "Stand there, I want a picture of you with the snow leopard" He smiles and backs away from us to take a picture, he pulls out his phone and I smile for the picture.
Next we see some birds, we see the cockatoo's and Issac giggles at there name along with some owls and other birds, "How would you tell them apart?" I stand looking at a few, "I guess if you'd worked with them for long enough you'd know" Issac shrugs.
"I don't think I'd like to work with birds, when I was little we went on holiday every year to the same place and they had this ice cream shop which was the best, I saved up my pocket money just specifically for this ice cream, I think I got the biggest ice cream I could afford with all favours I could get, and when we left the shop an army of birds came from me and I ended up dropping my ice cream" I frown, "I really wanted that ice cream" Issac laughs at my story.
"Don't even laugh, it's not funny" I frown but crack a smile when I see him try to hold it in.
"What's your favourite animal?" I smile up at him as we walk around the zoo, the weather is nice and sunny as it beats down on us.
"Snow leopards and Meerkats definitely" He nods.
The zoo is nearly empty which is surprising but I guess it is a school day so no one is really about, I like it, it feels like me and Issac are the only people here.
"What's yours?" We come to the giraffes, they walk along with each other, "Monkeys" I smile.
I look down and read the little sign, "This says that the little giraffe over there" I point, "Is the males baby and the other slightly bigger one is the female and the biggest one is obviously the male" I point to each one trying to figure out which one is which.
"He's deffo on the pull" Issac nods watching them, I laugh, "No I'm serious look at him, he's all like following her about trying to make his move" He wiggles his eyebrows.
"Is that how you pull girls?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Maybe, but the one I tried to pull rejected me" He frowns as I start walking down the path away from him, I giggle, "Who would ever reject you?"
"Exactly, look at me" He signals his body making me laugh, "She's playing hard to get" He shakes his head, not looking impressed before starting to follow me.
"Oh is she?" I raise my eyebrows, "Who is this mysterious girl?" I giggle, I knew he was talking about me but I'm hardly playing hard to get.
"Oh she's beautiful, lights up a whole room just by walking into it but she doesn't see it" He takes my hand twirling me around with his poetic words.
"So what's stopping her being with you?" I playfully smile at him.
He smiles sadly and slowly stops twirly me, instead moving his hand to snake around my waist and pulls me into him, "Because she's scared" He speaks just above a whisper.
"Why is she scared?" I look up into his eyes, sparking back into mine. I loose myself in the moment, "She's scared she'll fall to hard and get hurt, she's scared of letting someone in"
For a moment I feel like Issac knows everything about me like I don't even have to tell him he just knows everything, I'm an open book that he can just read. I'm at a loss for words as my mouth falls open in gasp but no words escape.
"I'd never hurt her, she doesn't know how special she is but she just needs someone to show her, she thinks she's damaged but really she's perfect" Maybe he was right, maybe he'll understand more then I think he will, maybe I just have to tell him.
"I'm sorry" I whisper up at him, "For what?" His forehead creases when he frowns.
"For pushing you away" I mumble looking away from his eyes, I feel him plant a gently kiss on my forehead, "You have nothing to apologise for"
He takes my hand and sits me down on a little bench, "Talk to me"
I've never told anyone anything apart from Ezra it feels odd but with Issac it feels right, he won't judge me or say I'm just seeking attention, he'll listen.
"My dad left when I was seven and I just couldn't understand it, I think I cried but honestly it's all a blur. I was only seven, I was supposed to be happy but I wasn't, Dad was my best friend and without him, I was so terribly lonely. Later on when I joined high school kids picked on me and obviously used the whole 'your dad left because he didn't want a disappointment of a daughter like you anymore' and it stuck like cement, even to this day. I thought I was reacting like a normal teenager, not going out, staying in the house for days, not talking to anyone but I wasn't, I was sinking deeper and deeper into my own head. The thoughts were terrible, destroying myself every second of everyday about why dad left, he left me for some woman? Was that really all? He picked a woman over me? I tried to commit suicide but I couldn't even do that right. Now I miss my dad with every passing second, he was the only person who ever understood me and who I was, I used to be funny and always up for an adventure, smart and fun, everything. and now I feel like an empty shell because when he went, I went" A tear slides down my cheek, Issac wraps an arm tightly around me and muffles me into his chest.
"It's okay" He mumbles into my ear softy, "I feel missing, forcing myself through everyday when all I wanna do is curl up in a ball and stay there forever, I don't sleep, I hardly eat, I feel worthless, hopeless, I'm exhausted emotionally and physically, I always just wanna cry but I can't, I stress over little things that don't even matter, I just feel empty" I sob, tears and tears. I was smiling a minute ago over the animals and Issac's bad jokes and now I'm crying into his chest.
I haven't broken down like this in ages, I feel like weight has been lifted from my shoulders like I don't have to cage everything up.
Issac doesn't say anything, he gently rubs my upper arm tightly cuddling me and this is exactly what I want from him, he just listens, not judging me or laughing, he's here for me.
"To me, you're perfect" He whispers gently wiping away a tear, "I know you don't see it or believe it but you are, to me you are" A smile tugs onto my lips as I rest my head into the crave of his neck.
"Thank you, for everything" I take his hand intertwining our fingers, "You should try contacting him" Issac's thumb strokes the back of my hand.
"I can't, I don't know his address or anything, he's gone" I frown, "He's left to have a good life, a happy life and left me here like this, I hate him for what he's done but at the same time I love and miss him so much I wish everyday for him to come home" I frown, tears rolling down my cheek, "How could he do that?"
"We'll get you help" Issac gently kisses the side of my head, "How?" I look up at him, wiping my puffy cheeks.
"The college has a councillor, she can help, I'm here to help you, you'll be okay" He looks into my eyes and I can feel tears again.
"Thank you" I smile hugging him.
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This is quite an emotional chapter ); but it connects you more with Darcy and who she really is.
Ellie and Issac date is soon, next chapter is Issac's point of view :)
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