NO EDIT, WILL DO WHEN I HAVE TIME! Please vote & comment, and check out the newest story I've posted 'black heart'
Des left almost two hours ago, and between Harry and I there has been less than twenty words spoken. It wasn't awkward or anything, we just decided no words needed to be said and silence was all we needed right now. I don't hate the silence so much right now, it's actually kind of nice.
Harry's brown hair was messy upon his head from the many times he ran his fingers through his curls, his fringe had managed to flop over his forehead and tickle his eyelashes. His green eyes were shut as he breathed heavily and steadily in a calming manner, although he was clearly still awake.
I wanted to talk to him, for many reasons. One being, how does he feel after all that chit chat with his father? And two being, what does he think about everything that's been shared between both men. But of course, I think he needs a break away from family problems and daddy issues, I for one know it's not the easiest thing to discuss. I sigh heavily for what must have been the eighth time in the last twenty minutes, I crossed my legs and allowed my ears to pick up the sound coming from the television.
Some kids animation film was playing and I smiled as I remembered that evening Harry and I watched Finding Nemo. He told me his life goal is to become famous and be the voice of an animated fish, I mean I did laugh, but honestly what a life goal that would be. I can't deny Harry's wild imagination and dreams, I just wish he applied the same amount of energy and creativity to his grey happiness and lacking positivity.
I looked over at Harry, his eyes still shut, eyelids hiding those beautiful vibrant green orbs from me sadly. He looked so content and peaceful, I really missed my boy. It felt like years had past and I hadn't seen him, heard his voice or touched him. And it hurt me.
"Hey," I focused on his face, he was staring right back at me.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you love me?" He asked.
I sat myself up, shocked and surprised by his question. I looked at him with curious eyes and I could see the sincerity etched on his facial structure.
"Why do you ask?"
"Just a question I have wondered," he shrugged casually. He looked back at the television, a flash of confusion raced across his features as he had his eyes shut the majority of the film. I couldn't help but let the question swirl through my mind, why do I love Harry?
I mean I have a list of things I love about him, but I can't help but think what exactly made me love him and continue to love him? Was it his humour? His kind soul? His soft touch? His caring eyes?
"You do this thing at night, when we're in bed, where at first you try find my hand under the sheets. Especially if we aren't cuddling at that point," I smiled fondly, his face staring at me. "I get such a big smile and these butterflies in my stomach when I feel your hand patting the mattress trying to find mine. When you find mine you place a kiss to the back of my hand and hold it against your chest. I always feel your heartbeat underneath my hand. I love when you do that..."
"I think I fell in love with your personality more than anything. I mean you looking like a model is just a bonus," I giggled, earning a scoff of disbelief from his pretty lips. "You have this very soothing personality. You want to know every detail about something I'm talking about, whether it's this new shop I stumbled into or a new brand of liquid lipstick. You're always interested and it makes me feel welcome to tell you anything and everything. When you listen to me you show me you're listening, you look at me and you jump in when you can and I appreciate it..."
"You have this soft kind of personality about you, like a very gentle and warm aura that radiates off of you and makes anyone around you feel welcome and loved," I smiled. "It's rare to find such good souls in this world anymore. All you do is care about everyone you encounter, you'll talk to anyone you meet and make their day a little more bearable. Your smile is gorgeous, you respect everyone for who they are and you never make anybody feel unappreciated or unloved..."
"I fell in love with you because of everything that makes you you, it's not often I meet people like you Harry. And that's what makes you so special, you're one of a kind."
Harry's eyes were a light shade of green, like grass that has been covered by a tent for too long and has sadly dehydrated. They sparkled in the late sun that still hung in the sky, the sunlight hugging every inch of our bodies. I uncrossed my legs and shuffled to face the man I loved, his top was tight on his stomach and the way he lay made a small roll of tummy fat show and it just made him look so much cuter.
"I needed that," he replied, a small smile gracing his perfectly shaped pink lips. All he wanted was a reason for my love towards him, to help boost his happiness after suffering from such a tense afternoon. I mean he seemed happy to be around his father and for things to be somewhat okay and normal, but I know him, he is suffering in some kind of way.
I shuffled back until the bottom of my spine hit the arm of the couch behind me, spreading my legs I curled my finger beckoning Harry to come closer. He willingly crawled over and sat on his knees before me, eyes focused on my lips and nothing else but them. His fragile state proved his longing for some passion, but all I wanted to do was cuddle him. I guided him to sit down, his back to my chest and his body sat comfortably between my legs. I felt his entire body relax, his muscles releasing themselves from their tight hold and his body limply dig into mine for warmth.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, both my hands clasped together under his chin. I could feel his heavy heartbeat beneath my knuckles, somehow it was ever so reassuring I felt my arms tighten and hold him closer. Sometimes all somebody needs is a little love, and a hug. A hug is a great healer for anything.
Harry was very limp and sleepy in my arms, cuddling himself against me like a baby cub to its mama bear. I allowed one of my hands free from his hands that held over mine around his shoulders, my free hand now rustling softly and slowly through his thick tamed locks. Each tangled strand tugging hard when I attempted to run my fingers through his hair, a tiny whimper would slip his lips before I carefully dissected the knot with my thumb and forefinger.
As we lay here together, his hands holding one of mine that lay over his shoulder and my other hand in his hair. Our legs together as he lay between them and our body heat mingling together and allowing us both to fall into a deep slumber as we held each other.
Nothing could be more perfect.
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The dark sky had finally settled in, the moon peering through the open curtains and illuminating the space around me. Harry was awake before me, he snuggled my body into a blanket as he prepared our dinner. He's not the greatest cook in the world, but he has got some skill in the kitchen thankfully. I woke up to a lingering scent of spaghetti.
I prepped my body up on my elbows and smiled at the sight of Harry in the kitchen, oh how I wish I could witness this every night.
"Hi," I smiled, watching as a smile creeped onto his lips just at the sound of my voice. He looked up at me, the light in the kitchen made the greens of his eyes seem lighter.
"Sleep okay?"
"Yes. How long did we sleep for?" I asked, getting up off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. I jumped up onto the counter near the stove where Harry was cooking. His free hand sliding over the marble counter and lacing with my fingers. His eyes flitting between me and the spaghetti he was cooking up.
"I slept for just over an hour, you slept for two."
"Damn," I mumbled. I hate when naps turn into hour long sleeping sessions, it really ruins your sleeping pattern at night. "You look good being my personal chef," I joked with a giggle.
"Don't get too used to it, I happen to adore your cooking," he chuckled, shooting me a quick wink before letting go of my hand and getting us plates. "I was thinking a lot about something..."
His voice trailed off as he refused to look directly at me.
"What's that?"
"Well I was thinking about selling my apartment," he shrugged. I slid myself off the counter and took my plate of food from him and followed him to sit down at the kitchen table. He sat opposite me with his own plate and a glass of water, identical to my own meal.
"Okay? And you're going to live where?"
"Well that's what I was thinking about," he mumbled. "I was thinking of getting a new place, not an apartment but just a small two bedroom house or something," he shrugged, twirling spaghetti around his fork. "Unless you still wanted to live with me... Then maybe we could move in to your place, or we get the house together. Up to you, it's okay if you're not interested."
My fork clattered against the bowl my food was in, my eyes staring at him in disbelief. "Where did this thought come from?"
"Well, Des and I were talking earlier – when you left the room – about my apartment. He wondered why we lived separately and I told him about how we were supposed to move in together but ended up breaking up. Long story short he showed me a couple nice houses that are small but really nice inside and out, the price is very suitable and I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to start from scratch somewhere new together."
I smiled, mentally thanking Des for pushing Harry in a good direction.
"I'd be stupid to say no," I beamed. "I want to start a fresh somewhere new with you. My place and your place has a mixture of bad memories connected to it. But I don't want to move too far away, Lynn and the café is here, I don't want to leave that. And my parents graves are here too."
"Of course not! I'd only want to stay here, unless you wanted something different. But for now, I'm glad we are both on the same page!" His smile was infectious and I couldn't help but feel the pain shooting through my cheeks from my smile. I could not be happier. "I love you moonlight, and this time I promise, nothing bad is going happen. Between us or too us. We're okay now, we really are."
And for the first time in so long I felt that swelling in my heart that I used to feel a lot in the beginning of our relationship. That overwhelming feeling of love bubbling up inside of me and making my head spin. I'm finally opening up to a new chapter with Harry and I couldn't be more ready for our new beginning.
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A/n: this is shit, I'm so so sooooo sorry! I've had a tough time mentally and physically and I just had no time or motivation to write or post anything. I haven't made a start on the next chapter so I'm sorry if it takes a while to publish it too. I'm starting to lose touch with this story because it feels like you guys aren't responding to chapters anymore, I'm sorry if I'm going downhill. Mail me what you what me to create in this story because honestly I have noooo idea where I'm taking this. I hope as you read this story it's not just a massive jumble of words.
Love to you all, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that 2018 is YOUR year!! <3 xx