Check the A/N. I am feeling so giddy lol
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Serene's P.O.V
Past
Cold midnight run away is not the ideal escape. My hands and feet are numb as well as my nose. I quickly packed a travel backpack with my neccesities, money, and legal documents like passport and I.D. I got out of the house in a haste, catched a cab and went to a train station.
I didn't want Colton or any of his men to find me. I ran away in the middle of the night, hoping I'm far, far away by the time he wakes up. I don't want him to find me at all. But knowing him, he would find me to any extent for keeping our business together. Which was the reason why I didn't file for divorce or told him that I was going to leave. I didn't want to break the contract and put my father through any trouble as I already have. I need to just leave everything behind because I feel like I will suffocate if I stay any longer.
I left without telling him because I didn't want him to manipulate me or make me stay. Because I know I will give in some how and I even hate the thought about that. But now I promised myself to be strong, and not get myself into a situation like this, ever again.
I will be independant and rely only on myself. I don't regret falling in love and going through such expirience. An expirience I was new to. It's hard for me to even say this and accept it but I know deep down this was a life lesson for me. First time I've been in love and It pulled me in so deep within the haze of it, it blinded my vision to see the reality and the truth around me.
I got blinded by love that I was willing to let go of the world just for him and I was hell bent on making him accept me. But I learned that you can't ever change anyones heart or mind for another.
Right now my feet are hitting against the hard pavement of the platform, my heels aching and a pain jolted through my ankle when I stumbled over. Trying to catch the train that I am so close to missing. I am gasping, trying hard to inhale in excessive air. A burning sensation goes through my lungs and my throat.
Just praying, that my last oppurtunity to a new beginning doesn't slip out of my hands. My last hope. My freedom.
Hope is the last thing I ever want to cling onto. Every last thread of hope and prayer in my heart for love disappeared. Hope is just a word that human being hold onto, to give themselves assurance when they are close to their destination or prayer yet so far.
I speed up a little faster, running on the long platform that's about to end. The train has started awhile ago, its blurrying away from my side vision. The last four windows are near the last door, that is getting closer to me; the train is ending as well as my feet on the platform.
I take a quick turn and grab onto the doorsill of the closed door and push it open and enter. Relief and happiness fills my body and tears blurry my vision. I can't believe I ran away from the toxic relationship. From my nightmare.
I take a quick seat and breathe heavely, resting my head against the cold glass window letting my tears of emotions fall.
I couldn't stand his presence anymore. His voice felt like stabs to my heart, resurfing the memories of him taking my innocence. His groans of pleasure and his incohorent words slurring in my ear. The memory itself bring chills to my spine, in disgust and it constricting my heart.
I just couldn't get past that point. I wanted him to accept me some how. Anyhow. But he was right all along, that this marriage would always be a business. I thought I noticed some change in his behavior and that there was a slight change in him but It was just a facade. He was trying hard to keep up with his hard act. It broke me more everytime, he avoided me like a damn plague. When I tried so hard to just keep everything together.
I havn't slept all night before I escaped. Now I am trying to take a nap, not knowing how long I am going to be on this train. But sleep won't come. I watched the sunrise, the scenery before my heavy eyes, changing. Sunset came and left yet I am still wide awake. There was a lady who served food and drinks so I ate a few things just to keep myself full even though I didn't feel like eating anything.
I been on this train for 48 hours now and I am exhausted, I have been feeling dizzy and nauseated. I threw up so many time in the bathroom, right after I ate. I was train sick already, so I took small naps here and there. I wanted to bang my head against the window for even getting on the train for so long. But to get out of NY to another state it takes days.
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A continous knock on the window makes me jump from my sleep. My eyes are dried from crying and they hurt to peel them open, I groan and tried again. Blinking my eyes a couple times to fully awaken myself. Noticing that it's bright and sunny outside.
The bright light hits straight into my eyes, a small pain strikes throught my temples and forhead. But the day light makes me sigh in content, just the beautiful scenery - outside my window that is passing by in a blur - is giving me some sort of peace. There are mountains and green grass below us with flowers here and there. And sun high in the sky. Dark, evergreen trees everywhere.
We are getting into Spring, so the weather looks comfortable outside, unlike in New York. Someone clears their throat that brings back my attention, looking at my right, a tall broody ticket collector is standing above me.
That's what they're called right?
"Ticket. Please," he seemed tired and pissed off. I quickly dig in to my bag, in search of a ticket that I bought, which I had no idea of where my destination is. I just hopped on a random train; the last train that I was about to miss. With shaky hands I give him my ticket, he checks and gives me a nod then walking away with it.
"We are half hour away from the destination." A monotone voice came from the speaker. Relief floods my body. When I move a little in my seat, I wince cause my ass is sore and my joints are stiff for hugging my knees and bundling myself up for I don't know long. It's too cold in here, even with my hoody on. I stretch a little by little, hoping to relieve the stiffness. My stomach grumbles loud, hugging my stomach and pressing it to stop making weird noises from embarassing me any further. My stomach is slightly aching cause of hunger but I remind myself it's only a half hour til' the destination.
Half hour passes by so painfully slow but I gather myself together and get off the train. Suddenly I feel so light headed when my feet hit the platform again, and it's getting worse but as soon as I breathe in the air it soothes my lungs and brought peace to my soul. Tears of happiness coat my dry eyes and I exhale a shaky breathe. Grabbing a water bottle from the stand, I take an exit from the train station in search for a cab. But I just rememebered I am not in NY anymore. The thought of where I am and what time is it suddenly fills my mind.
I walk down the streets, hoping I find some help. I bet I look like a zombie walking downtown.
"Uh..Excuse me?" My voice is hoarse. So I quickly clear my throat.
The middle age, lady gives me a bright smile, "yes dear?"
"What time is it?" I didn't directly wanted to ask her where am I. I didn't want her to think that I am a Psycho who escaped the asylum.
"It's 5 p.m," she gave me a smile, "are you lost honey?" Her voice was so soft I wanted to just break down. I am feeling to vulnerable right now. I am lost, tired, and hungry and don't know what to do next.
I give her a small tiny nod. I probably look like a mess, right now. And this sweet lady didn't have any signs of disgust on her face and she didn't judge me at all, which I appreciated it.
"What day is it?," I hesitated to continue, "I been on the train so.."
She cuts me off, "It saturday honey." My eyes widen.
I got out of that hell hole, on Monday and it's Saturday. Oh my god. I struggled for so many days, even without him.
I am on the verge of tears. How long am I going to suffer, until I find my peace again?
"Oh okay, thank you." Before I was going to turn around and head to a unknown destination. Her hand on the shoulder stopped me.
"Sweety, let me help you. My cafe is around the corner, come in so you can eat and drink something, and then we will go on from there." She gives me a signal to follow her.
But my feet are still planted on the sidewalk, I am speechless. How can this lady be so sweet and kind hearted? Every word she said was genuine and I wanted to hug her and thank her so much but I was frozen. My heart was going to burst any second, I didn't hesitate to accept her help because I was in a desperate need of one. So I silently followed her.
"Oh how rude of me," she lets out a soft giggle," I'm Marla. Oh and here we are. This is my small cafe." She gives me a warm smile.
"Thank you. I am Serene..." That came out wrong, " I mean my name is Serene." She gives me a knowing smile, her eyes laughing.
"Oh but you are Serene. So beautiful as well." She opens the door and lets me walk in. I felt shy at her words so I didn't utter anything next.
The smell of caffine and cinnamon makes my stomach grumble again. I take a seat at one of the tables and she bring a cup of her warm latte with a flakey, warm crossiant. She sit nexts to me and starts talking about where I am and telling me about Ashland, Oregon.
Meeting her made me forget about where I was but she knew I was completely lost so she reminded me. She made some of my heartache and worry strip with her soothing voice and her non stop chatter.
She was a beautiful lady for her age. Wrinkled, pale blue eyes, shoulder length blonde hair almost white. Her small thin nose and thin but pouty lips. And she was tall.
After eating, she took me to her home I took a shower and wore clean clothes. When she learns about my recent circumstances, knowing that I am homeless and jobless she gave me a part time job at her Cafe, and gives me a room but I promised to pay her monthly. I told her I was going to enroll myself in College, finish up my degree.
"I believe and trust in you. I know you are a strong and a capable women so that's why I am helping you, knowing you won't disappoint me." I hug her, because her words hit home.
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5 months later
When I barely came here to Ashland, I was always throwing up too much, felt dizzy, and I was tired all the time yet I pushed myself to finish up one year of school I had left and the part time job I took, to pay for my rent to Marla whom I was sharing the home with at the time.
My condition got worse at some point, I passed out. When I was in the hospital, I found out that I was one month pregnant. In that moment, alot of emotions took over, I cried because it was Colton's, and I left him behind. I cried that this baby will be my secret and the baby will grow up with out a father. And I cried that this wasn't how I planned to get pregnant. I was scared, how will I do all this by myself, all alone but I knew I can do it.
I had to do it.
Alot of emotions waved through me, loniless, self pity, anger, upset, hurt but it was all towards me. I cried but happiness didn't take over until later on. I reasoned with myself that one day everything was going to be okay and I was going to have a baby that will be with me and I wouldn't be alone at all. Love, happiness and bliss filled my heart soon after.
I regretted that I cried in that moment but when I was told the news, it felt like someone pushed me into a frozen lake.
I just couldn't believe it. In all the suffering I was blessed with an angel that would be my support and my half.
My savior.
Marla's reassurance and support meant so much more than anything. When I was 4 months pregnant, the doctor has been telling me to take rest, and go easy on myself because I had placenta previa, where the placenta was covering half of the opening of the cervix. But I didn't listen to her, I couldn't. I had too many responsiblities.
I had school to finish. Work, pay rent, and I had debt that has been building up and I wanted to have my real job and my own small home for the baby that was to come. I wanted to give my baby the best life I can ever give. Ashland was the best enviroment and amazing people around here to raise my baby.
I started to show and my baby bump was small but I looked at it in the mirror every morning, smiling and then started my day. Every day I was couraged to move on and go through hardship cause of my baby. I slept at night, talking to my baby and pouring all my heartfelt emotions and I would craddle my stomach and I always had a good sleep without any nightmares. I was at peace. I felt it with my baby.
Just when I thought everything was becoming normal for me, I was less depressed and a little happy but the emptiness in my heart was still there but the baby was filling in the gaping hole, as months passed by.
Over working myself and stress from the responsibilities was the reason why I was taken back into my darkness. I lost my baby. The most dreading and the worse living nightmare happening to any mother. I was 5, almost 6 months pregnant. The baby wasn't developing well, it was going to be a premature baby even If I was successful in giving birth. I always tried my best to take care of my baby yet I failed again.
I knew I could over come from my darkness and emptiness cause of Colton but losing my baby, I knew nothing could bring me back from that void. My heart wouldn't heal all the way. I was drowned back into my hallow pit of sorrowness cause I lost the only tiny light in my life.
My support, my hope, my life, my angel. The reason why I was starting another, happy life and it was all taken away. Because of me.
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I got two more or maybe three chapters left until this book is over!! I like keeping my book short and to the point. I realllyyy enjoyed writing this book and THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE VOTES AND COMMENTS AND ESPECIALLY THE VIEWS. THANK U FOR GIVING MY BOOK A CHANCE. IT MEANS SOOO MUCH TO ME!!
The good reviews for this book encouraged me to keep going and write more.
So... *drum rolls*
I CAME OUT WITH ANOTHER BOOK!! The plot and the story idea was developed in my somewhat creative brain months ago, I was just waiting to finish this book or bring it to the near end.
Its different than this story. Please give that book a chance as well, I hope I dont dissappoint you then. If I have in this book!!
My new book is called, 'Deep within The Deserts' I will post the introduction of that book for now. And soon write the chapter!!😘😘😘
Love u all.