I will not cry. Not gonna cry. Jade, don't you dare cry. Jade. Keep it together, dammit!
The store manager slammed his hands down on his desk making me jump in my chair.
"So, stealing huh? Is that what the youth is up to now?"
"I'm I'm - I -"
"Listen to me young lady, kids like you should be locked up now before it's too late," he sneered. "I know your type - going around town, causing trouble everywhere you go, disrupting the peace and quiet. Well let me tell you something," he leaned over his desk, his face inches away from mine. "I will not let you little shits raise hell in my territory, my store."
My lips trembled as I read his name tag. I looked back up at his eyes but was taken aback by the fury in them so I focused on his tie instead. "M-mister Anderson, I swear it was never my intention to s-steal from - "
He pushed the CD in front of my face and I yelped. "Then what is this? You think I was born yesterday? You think you're the first one to come sit here and apologize, pretending you never did anything wrong?"
"But I didn't do anything," I protested, tears brimming in my eyes. "I was set up. I swear I'm telling you the truth. Check the CCTV footage."
"And what do you think I'll see there?"
"You'll see that someone else put it inside my bag," I answered meekly.
"And who might that be?"
I chewed on my lip. "A w-woman."
He huffed in disbelief. "A woman. What woman? There was no one with you, little girl."
"She's around forty five but looks a lot older. She dyed her hair blonde, she's wearing skinny jeans with a dark stain around her left knee from where she spilt some coffee this morning. She had on a dark blue jacket and a black leather purse."
He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Who is she to you?"
I looked down at my lap, fiddling with the loose strings of my cut-offs. "Just a woman."
He chuckled mockingly. "So not only did you steal something, you also have the nerve to pin it on somebody else."
I met his glare full on. "It's not just somebody else, it's my mom."
This time his chuckle grew into loud, deep laughter, his round belly shaking. "You honestly think I'd fall for that. I've heard a lot of things before but this definitely takes the cake."
I sighed heavily, feeling defeated and angry and upset and scared all at the same time.
"Maybe you should give me your mother's number so I can give her a call," he taunted.
"I don't have her number," I mumbled.
"Of course you don't, what about your dad."
I shook my head.
"An older brother or sister? A legal guardian?"
I pulled at the skin around my nails. "They're at work."
He plopped himself down on his desk chair and I swore I thought the thing would break under his heavy weight. "I don't care, missy. You're gonna give me something 'cause I'm not letting you get out of this without any consequences. Also, shouldn't you be at school? Wow, shoplifting and skipping, huh. This day is gonna turn out to be your worst day."
Oh, and don't I know it.
FADED
I was so nervous I couldn't get my legs and hands to stop shaking. I also really needed to pee but I was so stressed that I didn't know if I really had to go or if it was just the anxiety. Mr. Anderson had made it his mission to keep me company so he could keep an eye on me. Every now and again he would catch my eye and shake his head like a disappointed parent would do. I just wanted to strangle his big fat throat, if he even had one, and force him to open his stupid eyes - I didn't steal anything, not intentionally. I still can't believe my own mother would set me up like that. She didn't even have the audacity to stay and explain things.
Jordan was right, maybe it was a wrong thing to have let her back into our lives. Hell, Ashton was right too, it seemed like our mother hadn't changed at all. Even Tristan was right, I trusted her too much. And Noah, well Noah never really made an effort to get close to her, maybe he was right too - protect yourself by keeping your distance.
Someone knocked on the door, bringing me back to reality. Jordan entered, dressed in his police uniform and I found myself gulping. There was something about a cop that was both unnerving and intimidating. Every time I saw Jordan dressed in his uniform, I saw Police Officer Moore who will make you freeze with just one glare, and not Jordan my overprotective brother who used to blow raspberries on my stomach when I was little.
Mr. Anderson looked confused. "I'm sorry officer but I don't think anyone called the police - "
"I'm Jade's brother, Jordan. You called?"
"Oh, right." He turned to look at me and smirked. "The irony. I didn't want to involve the police but it looks like someone's going to get in big trouble."
Jordan cleared his throat. "Let me be the judge of that."
"You should now that I caught your little sister stealing from my store."
Jordan turned his hazel eyes on me and I instantly avoided his gaze, thinking my shoes were more interesting to stare at.
"Did you see her do it?" he asked.
"I found the stolen CD in her backpack," Mr. Anderson pointed out.
"But did you catch her in the act? Did you see her put the CD in her backpack?"
"No but I still found it in her possession and it wasn't paid for, so that can only mean one thing."
"It can mean that she didn't do it on purpose. Maybe there's more to the story than you think."
Mr. Anderson forced a smile. "With all due respect, officer. But maybe you should regard this situation from a more neutral point of view."
"Excuse me?" Jordan hooked his thumbs around his belt and I caught Mr. Anderson's eyes lingering on the gun.
He swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I'm merely suggesting that it will be better if you'd look at this from your position as a police officer. Taking the role of her brother may cloud your judgement."
Jordan took a step forward and I could see Mr. Anderson visibly shift on his feet. "I'm sorry sir but I am her brother and I don't think you have a right to suggest how I should treat my sister. I understand what happened today is inexcusable and trust me, she will suffer the consequences but I don't take it lightly when people tell me what to do." My brother turned to me and stretched out his hand for me to take. "Let's go."
"I'll have you know that stealing is a crime. You should punish her thoroughly."
"You should mind your own business," Jordan said before closing the door.
He started to drag me out of the mall, never letting go of my hand until we arrived at his car - a police car. Jordan's partner was behind the wheel, his window rolled down, a warm cup of coffee in his hand and a teasing smirk on his face.
"Hey, short stuff. What's this I hear about you stealing. The only thing you're allowed to steal is jokes."
"Shut up, Marcus." Jordan opened the door to the backseat and motioned for me to get in. "Get in, Jade."
"Where are you taking me?" I asked nervously, my voice shaking. "Am I going to jail?"
"You forgot to put the cuffs on her, Jordan," Marcus chuckled as he put the keys in the ignition.
Eyes wide with panic, I snapped my head to my brother. "I'm going to jail?" I whimpered.
He bend down so we were on the same eye level. "Don't listen to him. You're not going to jail, Jade."
"Promise," I said in a small voice.
"I promise," Jordan sighed and ran his hand fondly down the back of my head. "You're not going to jail, sweetheart."
With another encouraging push to the small of my back, I crawled into the backseat. I usually love car rides but not in a police car - with the bars separating the front from the back, it made me feel like I was in a cage. Just the thought of someone else sitting in the same spot, someone who had been arrested, someone who was now probably in prison. Oh god, I'm a criminal. I just wanted to cry right now. And throw up. I wanted to cry and throw up because my emotions were all over the place and I didn't know what to think or do. What will Jordan think of me? How will he punish me? Is he going to be disappointed or angry? And why would my own mother do this to me? And where is she anyway, how could she just ditch me like that, leaving me to defend myself.
"Jade, put your seatbelt on."
I met Jordan's eyes through the rearview mirror and found it hard to swallow past the big lump in my throat. He was always a master at hiding his emotions, I could never figure him out. But he could read me like a book - no matter how hard I try to mask my true feelings, he always knew exactly how I felt or what I was thinking, he could see right through me. All my brothers could see right through me. Maybe it was me, maybe I needed to learn how to put up a mask.
The car ride was silent other than Jordan and Marcus talking about god knows what. I wasn't listening, I couldn't listen to what they were saying because the erratic beat of my heart was deafening. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings until the rumble of the car suddenly stopped. I looked through the window and paled.
The police station.
Jordan opened the door for me and I found myself unable to move.
"Jade, what are you waiting for?"
"You said you weren't going to take me to jail," I cried softly.
I heard Marcus laugh in the background and wondered what the hell was so funny about this.
"Oh man, she's adorable. Put her out of her misery, Moore."
Jordan crouched down in front of me and took both my hands in his huge ones. "For the hundredth time, baby, you're not going to jail. I just wanted to talk to you and hear your side of the story."
"Then why are we here?" I sniffed.
"Because I'm still on duty. After we're finished I'll take you back home. How's that sound to you, huh?"
I shook my head. "I don't wanna go back home."
"Okay, fine. We'll figure something out." He squeezed my hands and helped me out of the car. "C'mon, you'll be just fine. Nothing to be scared of."
Marcus shot me a smile from the driver's seat. "If you ever do get caught and end up behind bars, I swear Jade I'll be the first one to help you break out."
Jordan snorted, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Count me in too."
"Some cops we are, huh?" Marcus laughed.
I knew they were trying to get a smile out of me but the only thing I could do was nod. I wiped my tears with the sleeve of my coat and held onto my brother's hand for dear life as we walked into the building. Last time I was here was a year ago when Ashton had been caught in a fight with someone. Luckily he got off with a slap on the wrist and a black eye. Fun times.
Some of the officers greeted me, probably recognizing me. I just ducked my head and made a point of not making eye contact with anyone. When we arrived at Jordan's desk, he pulled out an extra chair and made me sit so he could sit across from me, our knees touching.
"Alright, why don't you start from the beginning."
I slowly looked up and around to see all the people around us. Phones were constantly going off, everyone was talking to one another, there was the incessant sound of typing on keyboards and dispatchers' voices calling through the radio.
"Jade," Jordan's hands were on my knees, "Don't worry about them, they're just doing their job, no one's paying attention."
I nodded, looking down at my lap where I let my finger trace a vein on his forearm. "Are you mad at me?"
"I haven't decided yet, not when I still don't know the full story." He tilted his head to catch my eye but when I turned away he reached out and cupped my chin. "What happened, Jade?"
My lips trembled and my eyes were on the verge of tearing up again. "It's all mom's fault!"
He picked up one hand and let it rake through his hair, his fingers scratching at his scalp. "Yeah, I had my suspicions." He turned one hand palm up and held mine, his thumb stroking the back of my fingers. "What did she do?"
I took a shaky breath and pushed some hair out of my face with my free hand. "It all started this morning when Principle Fredericks called me to his office. He said that mom called with bad news."
"What bad news?"
"Apparently grandpa died."
He frowned. "What grandpa?"
"Exactly." I wet my dry lips and continued, "She pretended to be all emotional about it and asked the principle if I could go with her. He said yes, but asked if we should call for Noah too, you know 'cause it's his grandpa too. But Mom didn't want to, said something about wanting to spare him and that I was her father's favorite so I should be the one to go with her. So that's what I did, I went with her."
Jordan's hand tightened around mine. "Jade why didn't you tell Mr. Fredericks about Mom lying?"
"I don't know," I cried, I truly didn't know. "I was just so surprised to see her and it all happened so fast. I tried to tell her it was wrong and that she should take me back to school, but she wouldn't listen. She said that you would never give her the chance to spend some quality time with me. And I just, I don't know, I guess I just - "
"You felt bad for?" he finished my sentence.
I shrugged.
He got back to stroking my hand and urged me to continue, "What happened next."
"We went to some nice place and brunched. Then she said she needed some new outfits and dragged me to the mall, practically forcing me to play a judge like we were on Project Runway or something. Anyway, it was noon when we finally went to the last store. I found this album of Sophie's favorite band and I told Mom that I was thinking of maybe buying this as a present when I come back later with Lauren and her mother. But then Mom said that I didn't have enough money left, which I thought was weird because you and Tristan gave me more than enough. And then suddenly she takes the money out of her purse and shows me that there was only like twelve dollars left."
Jordan cursed under his breathe.
"The whole time she was paying with my money and I never even saw when she took it from my bag in the first place." I angrily wiped another tear away from my cheek. "I told her that because of her I couldn't buy anything for Sophie. And she just said that I simply could take it. She wanted me to steal it, and I said no - Jordan, I swear to god I didn't wanna steal it. I told her that it was wrong and she was wrong for even thinking about it but please believe me, I didn't steal it, I would never steal anything. You always told us that stealing is a crime and that you could end up in jail for it, and I really don't wanna go to jail, please don't make me go to jail - "
"Shh, Jade. Hey, it's okay, baby. I believe you. And I won't make you go to jail, I promise." He scooted closer to me and started rubbing my back.
"But Mr. Anderson didn't believe me." My shoulders shook from sobbing, feeling my hair bounce around my head as I hid my face in my hands. "He said that I stole it but I couldn't even remember putting it in my backpack. I only remembered putting it back on the rack and then I left."
"Alright, I believe you, Jade," he soothed. "Hey, can you look at me?"
I shook my head, too embarrassed that I was acting like a little baby.
"Sweetheart, look at me. Please?" He tugged my hands away from my face and pushed the hair away from my eyes. He cupped my cheeks, thumbing away the tears. "This is not your fault alright? I know how Carla can be, she's manipulative and doesn't think twice about how her actions can affect others. And I know you know stealing is bad, you're a good girl, Jade. I raised you right and I know that you would never even think of doing such thing."
"B-but Mr. A-Anderson - "
"Who cares about Mr. Anderson? He's just a fat prick who had no right assuming you did something wrong without even looking for proof."
My breath hitched as I tried to compose myself. Jordan handed me a tissue and I used it to clean myself up.
He stroked my blotched cheek. "You alright?"
"I just don't understand why she would do something like that." I felt another round of fresh tears roll down my cheeks and sniffed. "I mean she just left, she left me all by myself. I was so scared."
Jordan was silent as he kept stroking my hair and face. "I don't understand why she does the things she does either, and I don't think it even matters because that's just who she is. But I want you to stop thinking it's your fault, Jade."
"It's like she doesn't even care about me."
"Hey," Jordan cupped my chin, turning my head to look him in the eye. "I care. Tristan cares, and so does Ashton and Noah. We all care about you, you don't need her for that. Your brothers and I are all you'll ever need. We've already made it so far without her, I'm sure we can go much longer."
The corners of my lips twitched in a weak smile.
He smiled back and opened his arms. "C'mere."
He didn't need to tell me twice. I jumped into his embrace, not even caring about the people around us. Being in his arms made me realize that a hug was all I ever really needed right now, a hug to tell me that everything was going to be just fine.
Jordan's huge arms always felt like they could swallow me whole, like nobody could touch me when I was under his protection. He was warm and big and comfy and I think I could stay like that all day long. With a hand on the back of my head and another rubbing my back, he kissed the side of my face.
"No more tears, alright. You know I hate to see you cry."
"I know," I mumbled, burying my nose in the crook of his neck and sniffed.
"Did you eat your lunch yet?"
I groaned and pulled away enough to see his face, my arms loosely hanging around his shoulders. "You think I'll be able to stomach anything after what just happened? I swear I'm gonna throw up."
"Don't knock it until you've tried it." He kissed the tip of my nose and patted my butt. "Let's go get something to eat and then I'll drop you off at school."
FADED
Once we ate lunch and I calmed down, Jordan drove me back to school. I felt much better after we had the chance to talk, he said he wasn't angry with me, but that I should've known better - when Mom showed up at school and dragged me outside, that's the moment I should've put my foot down and come clean by telling the principle that she was lying. Or you know, Jordan could've just given me a phone so I could've called him but of course he wouldn't give in so easily. I got off lightly though, he only grounded me for a week but I could still go to Sophie's birthday and he gave me some money again to go shopping with Lauren later. I just needed to make sure that her mom wasn't going to take us to the same mall, I swear I will never ever set foot in that building ever again.
Jordan parked the car and shut the ignition.
"What are you doing?" I wondered out loud when he started to get out of the car too.
"I'm coming with you, c'mon."
I shut the door behind me and quickened my steps to catch up with his fast pace. "Why?"
"'Cause there's some stuff I need to discuss with Mr. Fredericks."
"What stuff?"
"Like why he allowed a strange woman to take you out of school."
I wrinkled my nose. "She's not a strange woman, she's our mother Jordan."
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that." Jordan opened the door and let me in first. "I had to fill in a form when I enrolled you in this school and I remember stating clearly that the only people authorized to take you are your brothers. I never mentioned Carla's name."
"Okay, but don't go acting all bad-cop on him. Mr. Fredericks is really nice."
Jordan raised an eyebrow at me. "Bad-cop? I can be really nice too, Jade."
Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "I guess you can be nice sometimes but when you're wearing your uniform all we see is a bad-cop."
"Why not a good-cop?"
"I don't know," I shrugged, "Maybe you should smile more," I teased.
"Maybe you should go back to class," he used his stern voice again but I knew he was just messing with me.
I hugged him tightly around the waist, careful of his gear hanging around his belt. I felt his arms encircle me as he pressed a kiss on top of my head.
"Thanks for being the best big brother ever, Jordy."
He lightly rubbed the back of my head and gave me another squeeze. "You're welcome, baby."
I released him and waved him goodbye. "See you tonight."
He shot me a smile. "Bye, have fun with Lauren."
FADED
It was safe to say that when I got back to class, Lauren, Noah and even Angela bombarded me with questions about where I had been. I made up a story about how my Mom came to collect me from school cause I had a dentist appointment I forgot about. Both Lauren and Noah knew me well enough to know that that wasn't the full story - I lied because I didn't want to tell Angela, if she ever found out about me 'shoplifting', I'll never get to hear the end of it and by the end of the day, the whole school would know. So I made a point of giving a signal to Noah and Lauren that I was going to tell them the full story later.
I ended up buying the CD I wanted for Sophie with a card that played the happy birthday tune when you opened it. Lauren settled for the newest book of Harry Potter because Sophie was obsessed with the stories and she always used to say how much she preferred the books over the movies. Lauren also added some bags of skittles because well, Sophie was addicted to candy.
All in all, the shopping went great but when Lauren's mom dropped me off at home I was exhausted. I used my keys and entered, welcoming the warmth as I took off my coat and shoes. I checked if my mother's purse and coat were hanging on the rack and let out a breath of relief when they weren't. I didn't know if I wanted to see or hear her right now.
"Well, well, well, what's that I hear about miss goody two shoes," Ashton grinned from the couch.
"I'm fine, thanks for not asking," I muttered, throwing myself on the couch next to him. "And shuddup."
"Shoplifting, huh? Never thought I'd live to see the day my sweet baby sister turns into ... me."
"You're so funny, Ashton," I deadpanned. "And for your information, I didn't steal anything. She's the one who put it in my bag. And how do you know anyway, did Jordan tell you?"
"Calm down, I believe you. I mean it's hard to imagine that the girl who wouldn't stop crying because she accidently crushed a ladybug, is the same girl that would steal." He pulled my feet in his lap. "And nope, not Jordan. I called Noah to know where he'd put the spare key and he told me."
"The snitch." I tried to pull my feet away from his grasp when he started tickling me. "And in my defense, I was five when I stepped on that ladybug and I didn't cry."
I did cry.
"Oh god, Jade, you cried for like a week. You even wanted to give it a funeral but there was nothing left to bury cause you squashed it," he laughed.
"It's not funny," I groaned into the pillow.
"You always cry for stupid shit," he pointed out with a fond smile.
"I do not!" I tried to kick him but he trapped my feet by holding onto my ankles.
"Yes you do! You cry at least once a week."
"Ashton, you're so full of crap!"
"Did you cry this week?"
"No," I lied.
"I bet you cried today." He looked at me with that face like he knew I did.
"So? I was scared and that sales manager was really mean, and I thought I was gonna get in trouble." I finally managed to free my feet and sat up, scooting to the opposite side of the couch, far away from him.
"Aww, was my little baby scared today?" Ashton chuckled. "Come to big brother."
"Don't touch me!" I warned him.
"Relax, I'm just messing with you," he rolled his eyes and managed to pull me back to him either way, no matter how hard I tried to push him off. He forced his arms around me in a hug, but it felt more like he was just trapping me in his arms. "You want me to beat that dude up? I'd do it if you wanna."
"No, you're just gonna make everything worse." But I had to admit it was sweet, I mean it was as sweet as Ashton could get.
"You know you can go to jail for what you did," he suddenly said. I punched his chest but he just laughed.
"I'm not going to jail," I said. Jordan promised. "Hey, have you seen mom today?"
"No, just this morning." Ashton loosened his hold around me and I settled more comfortably in his arms. "So she just cut and run, huh?" I nodded against his chest. "Typical."
I decided not to comment since I still didn't know how I felt about everything that had happened. Ashton and I just watched some TV in silence until Noah came home. Jordan called and said he'd be late so we didn't have to wait up for him.
I was tired so I let the boys decide what they wanted to eat. Of course they chose pizza. Ashton forced me to eat two slices and I gave in because he threatened to force feed me if I didn't listen. I was just getting ready for bed when Noah came into my room with his phone.
"Tristan wants to talk to you."
I took the phone from him and pressed it against my ear. "Hey, Tristan."
"Hey princess! How was your day?"
Like he didn't know already. I threw myself on my bed and sighed. "Awful."
"Aww, I'm sure it wasn't that bad, baby girl. Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome. Shit happens."
"It's not funny, Tristan. I almost got arrested!"
"You're still on about that?" He chuckled. "Jade, they can't lock you up for something you didn't do. And even if you did, you're only twelve, the law doesn't apply to children."
"Yes, but Mr. Anderson was convinced I was the one who stole it."
"Jordan said they were gonna ask for the camera footage and I'm sure it'll be proof enough to declare your innocence."
I twirled some hair around my finger and said, "What about mom?"
Tristan was quiet before I heard him sigh. "What about her?"
"They're gonna see that she was the one who put the CD in my bag. Is she gonna get in trouble?"
"I don't know, honey. But let's not worry about that right now, alright?"
"Where did she go? Is she gonna come back?"
"I tried calling her but she's not picking up. Jade, you know how mom is - she comes and goes. Try not to let it get to you like that."
"I know," I mumbled. "I'm sorry about the money. I really hid it from her, I don't understand how she got her hands on it - "
"Jade, that's not your fault so stop apologizing about it. Did you at least get something for Sophie?"
"Yeah, but - "
"No buts. Now go to bed, I'll come pick you up from school tomorrow."
"Okay," I yawned.
"Go to sleep before I get another lecture from Jordan about keeping you up again. See you tomorrow, baby girl."
"Goodnight! Love you."
"Love you more."
As I hung up the phone I couldn't help but wonder if my mother was out there somewhere, thinking about me. I hadn't even seen Tristan today, yet he always made sure I heard his voice - everyday he made an effort by calling me and reminding me he loved me. If my mother really loved me, wouldn't she have called too? Isn't she worried about me, doesn't she want to know what happened after she left? Isn't she concerned about me?
She claimed she loved me but she did have a weird way of showing it. I knew she didn't love me the same way I loved her, because if she did, she wouldn't do the things she does.
So maybe, maybe it wasn't love at all.
A/N: hello lovely readers! Thank you for the amazing feedback and awesome comments <3 <3 <3