3 Months Later
Cody
I gazed through the open back door, watching Desi as she stood bracing the deck railing. Her hair was blonde again, now hanging to halfway down her neck, almost touching her shoulders. She was gazing out into the ocean, watching the tide roll in.
I had asked her before, why she always stood out here, and she said. “Because I can.” Finally, there was no one around to orchestrate us, no one confining us, except within our own paradise.
When we had first landed in Mexico, we were immediately handcuffed by officers wearing masks, afraid that we might be infected. They took Desi and Aundrea in one direction; Ryder, Durbin, Doc and I in the other. With the males and females split up, we were lined up naked in a shower room and hosed down while we kept our hands on the walls in front of us. Our blood was taken and read for infection and our vital signs were checked. The process had been a little longer for me considering I was bitten and didn't have B positive blood.
After we were cleared to be infection-free, we were assigned houses on the beach in our new refugee community. Desi's house was right next to mine, but she rarely used it, staying with me most of the time. My mind reeled back to when Desi and I had walked out of the medical center hand in hand.
I glanced over at her, tears dripping down her face, and I stopped walking, pulling her close to me. “What's wrong?” I whispered in her ear as she sobbed into my shoulder.
“It's all over,” Desi said, raising her head to look at me, water swimming in her eyes. “I can't believe it's all over. We get to be normal now.”
The word 'normal' felt so odd coming out of her mouth, considering the past couple of months had been anything but normal. But I could see why the thought of it would make her want to cry.
“We get to go to the beach,” she said, a smile showing through her tears. “We get to go out on dates. We get to worry about making coffee and taking out trash.” She started to cry again, the thought of freedom becoming overwhelming for her.
That was why she always told me, “Because I can”, everytime I asked her why she was doing anything. She had always smiled afterwards, infecting me, almost making me fall to my knees in front of her, her smile was that beautiful. Especially now since she could truly be happy.
I walked barefoot across the wood floors of my living room and through the back door, so that I could stand by Desi. I stared out into the ocean with her, not looking at her as I spoke.
“Why are you standing out here?” I asked her, waiting to hear her usual response, but instead, I got nothing. I turned my head to look at her, instantly noticing the trails of tears on her face. “What's wrong, Desi? Did you have another nightmare last night?”
Desi shook her head, her cheeks blushing. “No, it's not that.”
“Then tell me, please.” My body turned to face her now, my hands grabbing for hers. She still stayed quiet. “You're starting to scare me.”
Desi
I was afraid to tell Cody. Afraid of what he might think, even though this was nothing really for him to worry about. I glanced towards the empty house, that stood next to mine, the house that hadn't even been stepped in since we all got here.
“Where is he?” I asked, turning back to Cody, but avoiding his gaze. “Why would Ryder just leave without telling anyone goodbye? How could he just do that to us?” I was mainly talking about me, but he owed all of us an explanation after all we have been through. I brought my eyes back to Cody, half-thinking he would be mad at me, but of course, being as good as he always is to me, his eyes softened.
“I don't know, Desi,” he replied, his fingers grazing my cheek. “Only Ryder knows. Maybe he'll come back. We don't know.” Cody offered me the simplest explanation he could give, not wanting to put any words into Ryder's mouth.
“I just don't understand why...” My voice trailed off, watching Cody as he glanced around me, focused on something else.
“Why don't you go ask him yourself?” Cody looked back at me, trying to hide a smile.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused. I turned around to see what he had been looking at, and I just about collapsed as I saw a familiar figure, walking from the vacant deck that was next to my house, and onto the beach.
“Go,” Cody whispered in my ear, placing his hand on my lower back and nudging me forward. I spun around and kissed him before I went, thankful that he was always so understanding.
I kicked my sandals off at the bottom of the stairs and ran barefoot through the sand. Ryder was walking towards the ocean, the sun shining off of his skin. The sand below my feet flew into the air as I raced harder towards him, losing my balance and barreling into him. Ryder's arms caught me, pulling me up and let go of me so quickly it was like my skin was on fire.
His eyes stared into mine for a moment, neither of us knowing what would be the best thing to say. But I let my hand do the talking as I swung my arm and slapped him across his cheek, making his head snap to the side. He reached up, rubbing his reddening cheek, still not saying anything.
“How could you?!” I asked, sounding hysterical. “After everything, you just packed up and left, without saying goodbye? I would have never done that to you!”
My voice echoed throughout the empty beach, ringing over the loud waves. I glared at Ryder, waiting for him to yell back, to explain himself, to say something.
“So this is what it's come to then?” I asked, baffled by his behavior. “We're not talking anymore? We may not be together Ryder, but that doesn't mean you can cut me off like we had a bad break-up or something, because we are more than that. We're above that. We helped eachother through the worst thing possible, and you're so ready to just walk away from it? Then do it!” I was yelling again, not able to control myself, after three months of him vanishing, leaving a hole in me. “Get out of here!” I started walking away from him, tears falling down my face. “Why would you even come back in the first place?!”
I turned my back on him, trudging through the sand, wiping my face of all emotion as I gritted my teeth. I was about to scream, let out all of my pent up anger I've had lately, when Ryder grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him.
Before I could even react, Ryder's lips were on mine, his arms reaching around me to pull me close. Even though we had only kissed a couple of times before, it was all so familiar like I'd kissed him a million times. I kept my arms at my side, wrestling with myself as they tried to lace around Ryder's shoulders.
I didn't want to enjoy it. I was with Cody now, and will always be with Cody. I was angry with Ryder; so angry, I could slap him again and again. But it all felt so right, and I couldn't stop myself as I leaned forward when he pulled his lips away from mine.
Ryder
I'd been thinking about getting that kiss for so long, that the taste of her lips still lingered on mine. I took a deep breath, as I tried to think of what to say to her, knowing that my explanation wasn't going to be good enough for my three month absense.
“I came back,” I started, Desiree watching me intently with her frosty blue eyes. “Because I was wrong.”
“What were you wrong about?” Desiree pressed me, crossing her arms over her chest, her hair swaying in the wind. I smiled, glad that her hair was blonde again.
“Everything,” I answered. “I left because I felt like there was no reason for me to be here anymore. I didn't need to protect you, because there was nothing to protect you from. I couldn't love you, because you already had somebody to love. I felt like you wouldn't need me anymore.”
“Ryder,” Desiree started to say, her hand reaching up to rest on my shoulder comfortingly.
“No wait,” I said holding my hand out to stop her. “I left and found my sister, Haley, and brought her back here, dropped her off with the family Aundrea is staying with and left again.”
Desiree watched me, waiting for me to continue.
“Before I left, I stood on your doorstep, contemplating whether I should say hi or just leave and obviously I ended up walking away.”
“Where did you go?” she asked me, her hand dropping from my shoulder. “Why didn't you just knock on my door?”
“The same reason I left,” I explained. “I thought you'd be better off with out me. I went back to every camp and brought more and more people over the border. It took a while, and a lot of fuel, but I got about half of the remaining civilians, the rest didn't want to come.” I shrugged my shoulders, still wondering why some chose to stay.
“But what were you wrong about?” Desiree asked me, still confused.
“I thought that you would be fine without me, and maybe you are,” I paused. “But I wasn't fine without you. I know that we can't be together, and I know that you might not want to see me, but I could barely keep myself together while I was gone. I was a wreck. I don't need you to love me the way I love you, Desiree. I just need your company. Can we do that?”
I didn't get an answer. Instead, I was engulfed by Desiree, her arms wrapping tightly around me, squeezing me like she was never going to let go.
“I take that as a yes?” I asked as she let go of me. I waited for her to sit down on the sand with me, to talk about everything she's been doing, but instead she glanced up at a house and then looked back at me. In the distance, I could see Cody standing on the deck.
“Actually,” Desiree said, pulling her thumb over her shoulder. “I got to get going. But I'll see you around, right?”
I nodded my head, sad that she was leaving so soon, but that's what I deserved I guess. “I'll be here,” I told her, plopping down into the sand.
I watched Desiree as she walked back to the house, put her sandals back on her feet and walked up the stairs to Cody, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.
I sighed, forcing myself to glance out at the ocean and not let my mind wander on what they might be doing in there. I scratched at the sand that was stuck to my leg, my hairline starting to sweat as the sun beat down on me.
“Wanna talk about it?” A voice asked me. I turned my head to see a small girl with long black hair, pulled tightly into a ponytail.
“Were-were you listening?” I asked, feeling slightly angry at this girl that I didn't even know.
“No,” she replied, sitting down next to me on the beach. “You just looked pretty down in the dumps. Figured I'd fly in and rescue you before you thought too much. Sometimes thinking will get you even deeper in the hole.”
I didn't reply, silently agreeing with her. I scratched more of the sand off of my leg, glancing back again at the house Desiree and Cody had disappeared into.
“I'm telling you,” the girl said. “Just stop thinking about whatever is bothering you. Believe me, I spent the last month stuck here by myself, having no one to talk to, being alone only to think more and more until my head was about to explore. But I've been getting around, interacting with other refugees and some of the natives, and let me tell you I've already started to feel a whole lot better.”
“You've only been here a month?” I asked her, glancing up to look at her. “How'd you get here?”
“Why, you of course,” she said, nudging me with her elbow. “You flew in with your black hawk and swooped me and some other refugees back into actual civilization. I'm Phoenix by the way.” The girl held out her hand for me to shake.
I grabbed it and shook lightly, my eyes searching her face to see if I would remember her. Her eyes were caramel underneith her curved eyebrows, her skin tan and smooth. I remembered her when she smiled at me, her teeth brilliantly white.
“Chicago,” I said, pointing at her. “Right?”
“Bingo!” Phoenix replied, tossing her hands up in the air. “Thank God you remembered! I would have hated it if the guy I consider my savior didn't even recogize me.” She laughed lightly.
I laughed with her, but glanced away, still distracted by my thoughts.
“Listen,” Phoenix said, interrupting my thoughts again and for some reason I was glad she did. “I'm going back to my place to order a pizza. Before you ask, yes, they have a Pizza Hut here.” We both chuckled. “Do you wanna come?” Her voice was so hopeful, that I couldn't resist.
“Pizza sounds great right about now.”
Infliction Playlist
(Songs, artists, and Point-of-views. Some songs have a special moment within the story.)
Ryder In My Place – Coldplay
Cody & Desi Set the Fire to the Third Bar – Snow Patrol
Ryder Nothing in My Way – Keane
Cody, Ryder & Desi Best of You – Foo Fighters
Ryder & Desi Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Evangaline Rooftops – Melissa McLelland
(When Desi finds Evan wanting to jump from the balcony.)
Ryder & Desi Fix You – Coldplay
(Ryder helps Desi after Vivian confrontation)
Cody & Desi Come Home - OneRepublic
Ryder & Desi The Man Who Can't be Moved – The Script
Cody & Desi I Will Follow You Into the Dark – Deathcab for Cutie
(The moment Desi sees Cody during her match)
Ryder & Desi It Will Rain – Bruno Mars
(Ryder tells Desi he loves her)
Desi & Cody The Scientist – Coldplay
(Desi tells Cody how she feels about Ryder)
Ryder & Desi Up in Flames – Coldplay
Ryder, Desi & Cody Us Against the World – Coldplay
Cody Running Up that Hill – Placebo
(Cody watching Desi fight in the cage.)
Ryder & Desi Wires – Athlete
(Ryder finds out that Desi chose Cody.)
Vivian Echo – Jason Walker
(Vivian's story)
Desi Down – Jason Walker
Ryder & Desi Volcano – Damien Rice
Desi You Lost Me – Christina Aguilera
Ryder I Was Wrong - Sleeperstar
++++++++++++++++++++
I can't thank you enough for all of the amazing support!