I stood in the aisle of the SaveMart that seemed to stretch on for eternity, gulping silently to myself as I eyed all the different kinds of pregnancy tests. There was one for every kind of girl out there, and yet, I was having a hard time deciding.
After all, whichever stick I picked would be the one to tell me whether I was harboring another life or not.
I bit my lip in concentration, hardly even realizing I was drawing blood from my bottom lip, the metallic flavor coating my tongue.
Pepper noticed my ongoing struggle, and pointed to a random box in the midst of the sea of different tests. "How about that one?" he asked brightly.
"That one?" I murmured quietly, more to myself than to him.
The box read, "SUPER SUPER SUPER 100% HARDCORE ACCURATE PREGNANCY TEST; THE MOST ACCURATE PREGNANCY TEST INTERNATIONALLY, THE BEST TEST, GET RESULTS VERY VERY FAST."
Well, they spared no expense in expressing their confidence.
I swiped the box off of the shelf hurriedly, shoving it into the basket I had slung on my arm without another thought. I didn't want to overthink this. I nodded to Pepper with as much assurance as I can muster, and he smiled at me.
"Whatever happens, (y/n), I'll be by your side the whole way through," he told me gently, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I grinned weakly. "That means a lot. Thank you."
Right as we were walking out of the aisle, I stopped mid-step, and ran back to all the tests. Pepper called out and asked what I was doing.
I placed my arm on the shelf and shoveled pretty much all of the "SUPER SUPER SUPER 100%" etc. tests into the basket. I sheepishly returned to his side in an instant, letting out a relieved huff. He was eyeing me weirdly and raising a curious eyebrow.
I glanced down at the basket, and counted at least five boxes of the test. No wonder why he thought the whole ordeal was kind of strange.
"I have to be sure, okay?!" I explained, my cheeks burning brightly.
"Okay..."
I made sure that the two of us went to the self-checkout rather to one of the cashiers, because for starters, I was far less likely to run into my old manager in the self-checkout sections, and I was also buying something I wouldn't like to broadcast, and I also hated human interaction.
The self checkout voice beamed outwards as Pepper and I approached it. "Please scan your items!" it announced.
I reached into the basket and pulled out the first box of the SUPER SUPER shit and held it beneath the light, and it scanned it with a loud beep.
As I reached for another, I began fumbling around for one of the boxes. My fingers were having a hard time wrapping themselves around anything because I was trembling with fear so fervently, throwing off all of my coordination entirely.
My hand felt stiff and cold, whilst this tightening feeling was present in my throat. I was so nervous, so scared.
Pepper reached over and steadied my hand, catching my attention. He set my wrist down gently at my side, and continued scanning the tests for me so I didn't have to.
"Dude, you're a lifesaver," I said gratefully, shakily, returning the basked back to its position on the side of the machine. He only hummed in response.
Once I had swiped my credit card through the slot, concluding the process, I stood with the bag of tests hanging on my arm like the basket. I gave Pepper a tight smile, and a quick squeeze on his hand.
"As grateful as I am for your help, I think I should do the rest of this on my own. I'll let you know what the result is, alright?" I told him.
He nodded. "Yeah, please do. Good luck, (y/n). Whatever that means to you."
"You're a good friend, Pepper, thank you."
I said goodbye to him as he walked out the exit, watching his curly brown hair turn the corner and disappear, leaving me alone in the store with a bag of pregnancy tests slung on my arm.
I clutched the bag to my chest, heaving a heavy and breathy sigh. I made my way over to the other exit, since the path to my apartment was in the other direction.
As I passed through the familiar doors, I made eye contact with my old manager, who was perched on a chair watching everyone and everything like a hawk. I almost pretended not to see him, but decided to be the bigger person and give him a friendly wave.
He scowled at me, crossing his arms. "Well, if it isn't the worst employee that there ever was."
"If it wasn't the most annoying manager there ever was."
"...fair enough."
He seemed to take note of the print of one of the pregnancy tests pressing up against the almost-transparent bag, and the furrow in his brows softened dramatically. "Look, kid, whatever's in that bag is none of my business... but... I wish you good luck."
Pleasantly shocked at his sudden kindness, I shot him a grateful smile and continued on my way out of the store.
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I waited impatiently, my hands against the sink as I tapped my foot rapidly. I could hear the sound of the clock in the living room ticking away as slowly as time would allow it to.
I'd done it. Peed on the dumb stick. But unable to bring myself to stare at it until it concocted the result, I'd flipped it over on the edge of the sink, resolving to turn it over when the designated amount of ten minutes passed.
Pfft. Ten minutes. More like ten hours, if you ask me.
I wanted so badly to know, but at the same time, I was scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of what I already knew.
A thousand thoughts ran around in my head. What would Genji think? What would anyone think, if I did turn out to be pregnant? How would I even deal with it?
I checked my watch. One more minute, and the result that would shift my life should be printed on the little screen on the test.
I sucked in a breath, trying to stop myself from hyperventilating uncontrollably. My stomach was doing all kinds of somersaults, and I felt just about ready to explode.
I wished Maya was still around. Surely, she would've given me some words of wisdom. Certainly, she would've comforted me in some way. I already regretted sending Pepper away. Anything would be better than the blunt deafening silence in the apartment.
I looked at my watch again. Thirty seconds.
Genji. Did he even want a kid? Would he... abandon me?
Groaning out loud with a growing panic, I opened the bathroom door to breathe in some fresh air. I needed something, anything to grasp onto to stop my raging nerves. I wiped some sweat off my forehead that had made its way there during the grueling ten minutes of waiting.
As if summoned by an all-knowing force, my gaze settled upon a photograph sitting on top of a table in the hall. It was just one, and the rest of the large table was empty and scratched-up, but it stood up proudly anyway.
It was Genji and I, sitting together on the roof of our apartment complex, right before the sun went down. His head was laying on my lap, and he was flashing a peace sign. I was grinning up at the camera I was holding above the both of us.
I could almost hear the laughter radiating from the photo, because we had been laughing uncontrollably up there. We were so happy that day.
My breathing slowed, and I felt myself start to gradually calm down. I realized something as I stared at the picture of the two of us. As I stared at Genji's enigmatic eyes captured in the moment.
I was a fool. Who was I kidding? That hopeless guy... he wouldn't leave me even if I wanted him to. It was stupid of me to doubt his loyalty for a second.
There was no one I would rather build this kind of future with. I loved him. And that was all I needed. I was young, and a little unprepared, but the one thing I could take solace in was the fact that Genji Shimada loved me back and it was something we would take on together, whatever the result.
Looking at that picture that I had taken without a second thought, provided me with this comfort. This certainty. This calm.
Genji's happy eyes, and mine, staring at the camera seemed to tell me that it was going to be fine. That the start of our future together began today.
I believed in us.
I turned around and gripped the stick in my hands, and without another moment of hesitation, flipped it around to reveal whatever the result was.
The SUPER SUPER SUPER test had spoken.
With two lines.
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This was around the time he came home from his classes. My initial plan was to ambush him with the news as soon as he stepped into the apartment, but I was far too excited to sit around inside.
So I was waiting outside the apartment door, doing a mix of squealing to myself, skipping around like a little kid, and smiling to myself. I probably looked like a lunatic, but I couldn't help it.
I had dressed up a little for the occasion, in a flattering dress with a soft flower pattern printed on the hem which came down to the tops of my knees. It wasn't every day that you got to tell your boyfriend you were pregnant, after all.
All the pent-up nervousness and uncertainty that I had within me had dissipated into nothing but happiness and excitement. This was a good thing, no matter how you looked at it.
Before long, I heard the door of the complex open up and soft footsteps coming up the staircase. I gripped the hem of my dress until my knuckles turned white, steadying myself and watching the top of the staircase expectantly.
It was who I expected it to be, and right on time as well. Genji's black hair was visible first, and then all the rest of his features as he walked up, a bored expression on his face.
He was typing something on his phone with one hand, and his other hand was shoved in his pocket like it always was. The black strap of his messenger bag was slung against his torso, undoubtedly filled with more coursework.
It was no matter. This would cheer him up, I was sure.
He looked up, probably seeing me in the corner of his eye, and then smiled in a confused kind of way, looking around as if he expected something else, something more to explain my being there.
"(Y/n)? You're dressed up? What's going on...?"
I couldn't even utter the words, so I expressed my feelings with a shrill scream of happiness, running to him with my arms wide open. My dress fluttered majestically as I did.
Genji didn't understand what was going on, but he opened his arms to me to accept my embrace. I ran right into him, squeezing him in a tight hug, almost jumping up and down with happiness.
"What's happening?" he laughed, wrapping his arms around me as well, though uncertainly. "I knew you missed me, little bug, but I didn't realize it was this bad..."
I took a moment to compose myself, and then looked up at him, an uncontrollable grin on my flustered face. "Carrot, if this kid comes out with green hair, I'm going to be so pissed."
He blinked, and then raised an eyebrow down at me, seemingly very, very confused. I waited for him to understand what I had said, to process it. "Kid? What kid? I don't underst-... wait... hang on..."
I nodded furiously as if to confirm his ever-growing theory.
"A kid? As in... a kid coming out... of... you?"
"Look at you, Sherlock..."
Despite my sarcasm, I was actually just awaiting it to register to him impatiently, with plenty of excitement.
Genji's eyes widened. I could feel his arms go slack around my back, falling to his sides uselessly. He didn't look away from my own eyes, searching for more confirmation.
The evidence that he was overcome with stunned emotions was very apparent. I reached up to his face, pressing my palms on either side of his face, grounding him to reality as much as possible.
His breathing was shallow, ragged... and I could almost hear his heart hammering within his rib cage.
"You're... you're..." he breathed, his hands coming up to brush my wrists softly.
I nodded again, laughing at his reaction so far. He broke away from me, jumping up in the air, pumping his fists upwards like he had won a huge victory. He whooped and yelled loudly, surely disturbing all our neighbors, but neither of us really cared.
"You're not joking, right, (y/n)?!" he asked, pausing his celebration to ask me that. I shook my head no, and he jumped up again. "I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!! OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO BE A DADDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!"
I watched him, a hand clamped over my forehead and a smile on my lips. Genji ran to me, picking me up bridal-style, and swung me around in a circle, to which I cried out and laughed. "Genji! What are you doing?!" I yelped.
"Holy shit, I'm gonna make so many dad jokes! Oh man, is it a girl or a boy?! It's too early to know, right? AAH I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!"
He leaned down and kissed me sloppily, but with such adoration and sweetness that I couldn't help but be mesmerized by how it made me feel. And then, he stopped spinning me around, like a sudden realization came upon him at that moment.
"Hang on, how do you feel?! Are you dizzy? Do you need water? Or anything at all?"
"I'm fine!"
"Are you sure?!"
"Yes! Yes, I'm great!"
After being convinced that I was perfectly okay, he continued to twirl me around, holding me against him as if he was protecting me. I leaned against his chest, giggling at his antics.
"I love you! I love you so much, (y/n) (l/n)!"
He glanced down at my abdomen and gave it a quick peck as well, which tickled like crazy. I swung my legs in protest, but he wouldn't let me go. "And you," he said to my abdomen, with a sweet smile on his face. "I haven't met you just yet, but I promise, I love you too."