Vincent decided the best way to start winter break would be to go skiing in the mountains. Originally, Vincent planned for the two of us to go alone. However, I insisted that he should go with his friends instead. After all, I'm the reason he stopped hanging out with them often nowadays. We reached a compromise that I would have to go skiing if he brought his friends along.
Although sticking myself alone with four teen boys would seem like a bad idea to some, I didn't mind it. Carson, Luke, and Logan are nice to me. They would occasionally talk to me in class, even with the rumors about me swimming around. However, my reclusive self only got worse when it came to being social. I went from talking to three friends to only having one. Maybe two if you count Wilbur as one.
Even being around Vincent couldn't help myself to be more sociable or for others to talk to me. Especially not after the incident involving Ally and Bryan. Most of the eleventh grade probably still thinks of me as some secretly promiscuous slut. It's unfair really. Bryan is very promiscuous himself, since he flirts with any girl within a five meter radius of him, but no one would ever call him a slut. That's just another double standard of society.
People can't seem to grasp my friendship with Vincent. Heck, I can't either. Though I hate to admit it, I think about social ladders like anyone else. To be frank, it's a social glitch that Vincent even talks to me. He's the epitome of the perfect high school boy. Nice, good looking, funny, fit, and smart. Whereas I fit the title of "nerd" like its a glove. Actually, even the nerds find me bland. I fell asleep while some kids in my engineering class tried to explain to me about alternate universe theories. To say they were offended is an understatement.
I envy them. People may make fun of them, but at they end of the day, they have each other. They fit in somewhere as least. Me? I fit in nowhere. I have no designated lunch table. Nor do I have someone to excitedly glance at when the teacher says we can pick a partner.
But Vincent makes it better. I know I don't fit in with his crowd, but he makes me forget that. He treats me normally, and people naturally do the same around him. Maybe he doesn't know what people actually say about me. How I'm using him. How I'm fake. Then again, why would they say that in front of him? Of course they wouldn't. They pretend to like me when he's around. It's not Vincent's fault. He has good intentions trying to help me make new friends. But having just Vincent is enough, the equivalent of having a hundred friends.
What if he's no longer your friend?
"Wendy?"
"Huh?" I slip out of my train of thoughts to look at the driver's seat.
"Are you hungry?"
"I'm always hungry," I chuckle.
"I know this really good pizza place," Carson suggests, leaning in from the back seat.
"I'm sick of that pizza place. We always go there!" Luke whines.
"Pasta!" Logan cheers.
"No!" Carson immediately shuts him down.
"How about this one ramen place I know? It's good for cold days."
"Anything but pizza and burgers," Luke agrees.
"Sounds cool," Carson adds.
"That sound good!" Logan says, satisfied with our menu choice.
With everyone in agreement, I point to direct Vincent to the ramen shop. We file inside the modest but bustling brick building. After a ten minute wait, we're seated at a round booth in the back corner. I'm wedged between Carson and Vincent, with Vincent at the very end.
"No, move you fingers like this," I intrude Carson. I fix the chopsticks back into its proper positions against his fingers before demonstrating with my own set.
"I give up. I need a fork," Carson sighs, giving up.
"Here's the beginner's way. It's not proper but that's how I first learned to use chopsticks too." I show Carson who to move the chopsticks this time so that they cross each other. It's easier, so it starts to get the hang of it. I didn't realize, but Logan and Luke were watching intently, and could roughly do it as well. I didn't have to teach Vincent because I already did when he came to my house for noodles once.
"Oh, hey, Vincent," a perky voice calls, lifting all the heads up at our table.
"Hi, Vivian," Vincent greets back and looks back down at the table afterwards.
What are the chances? I know that my friends love eating at this place. After all, I went with them all the time last year. But what are the odds that they'll be here today at the exact same time?
I notice Evelyn and Olivia holding hands. They must've reconciled. That's a relief.
Carson shifts beside me, and I could feel the cushion tense up under him.
"Isn't this such a funny coincidence? Our table is next to your's too." Vivian speaks directly to Vincent, not acknowledging anyone else.
"Yeah," Vincent quietly replies, not looking up. Did something happen at the winter formal?
"Here, let me show you what's good." Vivian seats herself next to Vincent, forcing all of us to shift towards Logan, who's at the other end.
"It's alright. We already ordered," Vincent says.
"You should order some sides too." Vivian grabs the menu from her table and places it between her and Vincent on the table, flipping through and giving her suggestions. Olivia and Evelyn retreated to their table, after saying a quiet "hi" to the boys.
I could see Carson trying to stop looking at Vivian. So, I take a napkin and tear pieces out of it, rolling it into small balls between my fingers. After making around twelve, I set it in a pile between the guys.
"Let's have a race. Whoever picks up the melt with their chopsticks wins. You have to get it into your sauce dish though." I say, pointing to the pieces of rolled napkin and then to the small plates for soy sauce.
Unable to fight their competitive nature, they immediately agree.
"Winner gets dessert!" Logan suggest.
"Fine, on me," I agree.
"It's on!" Luke challenges.
"Okay, start!" I watch at they scramble to pick up the paper scraps, sometimes knocking into each other and flinging the balls a few inches. Trying to focus on the game, I looked straight ahead. Yet, I could feel me self try to burn eyes into the back of my head so I can see what's going on behind me, what it is that is going on between Vincent and Vivian. I'm scared to know, but I want to. I don't look though.
"Done!" They says at the same time.
I was too distracted to notice that they formed an alliance so that each person got exactly four.
"Guess we're all winners." Carson concludes.
"Yep. Now you have to buy all three of us dessert. " Logan smirks.
"Fine," I laugh, seeing how innocently excited they seemed.
"Here you guys go." The waiter starts to set down our food and we quickly to try clean up our mess. Five bowls of ramen, three plates of fried dumplings, two plates of shrimp tempura, and two plates of pork cutlets may be excessive, but not to me.
"Yeah, Wendy ordered sides for us already," Vincent points out.
"Oh...okay." Vivian slinks back to her table.
"We can order a couple more sides if you want," I suggest.
"No, I think we have more than enough," Vincent laughs, staring at the massive spread of food.
"Let's eat!" Carson says before diving into his noodles. He had difficulty at first with how slippery the are, but uses the spoon the gave him to gather it up and eat it that way. Luke and Logan follow his method after they fail at using the chopsticks too.
Vincent struggles with the shrimp tempura. Usually, he would stab whatever he find difficult, but I could tell he was trying to avoid ruining the battered shell.
"Here, hand me your plate," I say, holding up a piece for Vincent. Instead, he dips his head down and eats it directly from my chopsticks.
"Thanks." He cheekily smiles.
"Wow, now you're even feeding Vincent?" Luke teases.
"Now that you mention it, I always thought that something was going on between you two," Logan adds.
"You guys are imagining things." I focus back on eating.
"Yeah, I guess. You guys probably would've gone to the formal together then." Luke takes a bite of his noodles.
"I asked Wendy." Vincent quietly murmurs, expecting no one to hear him. But everyone does, including Vivian's table, which the shuffling of menus and drinks stop.
The boys slowly crane their neck to look at me, waiting for an explanation. Vincent shyly stirs his bowl after realizing his words were heard.
"Vincent felt bad I didn't have a date. That's why. I don't like wearing dress so..." Luke and Logan accept my explanation and go back to eating. Carson seems suspicious, but reluctantly eats too. The noise at the next next door continues.
"Actually I-" I stuff a dumpling into Vincent's mouth to bottle him up.
"Eat up," I smile. Vincent sinks back into his seat and keeps eating.
Afterwards, we evenly split the bill and start to head out. At the same time, the girls (since I still feel like I have no right to call them my friends) finish paying their bill at the same time.
"Dessert is on me," I lead the way towards a doughnut shop that I love.
"Oh, I know I really good doughnut place," Vivian says as she follows us outside the restaurant.
"Olivia and I are going to go see a movie. We'll pick you up later, Vivian." Evelyn takes Olivia's hand and leads her away. Olivia looks back and seems to mouth something to me that I cant understand. Defeated, she keeps walking.
"Wendy's got us covered," Vincent replies.
"It's okay. I was just going to buy slushies at a gas station. Donuts sound better anyways," I lie. I forgot we went to the same doughnut shop after eating last year too.
"I like slushies better," Vincent insists.
"It's cold out though," I debate.
"Follow me," Vivian says, "Doughnuts are on me." Luke and Logan look guiltily at me, fearing I would be offended.
"You guys should get me a fruity one." I smile. Relived, they follow Vivian, who's latched onto Vincent and is dragging him away.
"You're not coming, Carson?" Luke asks.
"I'm full," he says sullenly.
"Get him a s'mores doughnut. That's their famous one," I tell them, and they nod.
The group leaves, with only Carson and me remaining. We find a bench nearby, sweep on the snow the snow with the sleeves of our coats, and sit.
"Why didn't you want to go? You love doughnuts." I muse back to early fall when Carson devoured the doughnut I gave him when I first met Vincent's friends.
"The same reason why you lied about getting slushies."
"Huh?"
"You don't want to get in their way."
It takes me a while to process Carson's words. How can he read me so easily?
"Is it obvious?"
"To me. I feel the same way you do." Carson sighs and leans back on the bench. He tilts his face up and lets the gentle powder of snow fall on his face.
"Why? For Vincent or Vivian?" I ask.
"Both. Vincent's my friend. Vivian will never feel the same way for me."
My heart ached for Carson. He was always so bright and energetic. Looking at him now, he seemed so lonely and desolate that it made the beautiful white and red decorated scenery fade into a gloomy gray.
"There's plenty of girls who would like you. You're smart, on the football team, good looking, nice. I mean, don't you have a girlfriend too?"
"We broke up. She didn't really like me. I heard her say to her friends how I'm actually annoying. How she wanted to date someone on the football team. Guess since the season ended it didn't help with her popularity very much."
I was wrong. Carson was the last person I would've thought to be lonely. To me, he was not very different from Vincent. He had the looks, friends, smart, everything. But really, we're so alike, feeling like no one wants to accept us, feeling like we don't belong anywhere. For once, I found someone who was like me, but at the same time, couldn't be any more different than me.
"You like Vincent right?"
He asks with no hesitation, surprising me and making me nervous.
"He's my friend."
"Is that what you tell yourself?"
"He's just a friend..."
"I just told you about my recent break-up. the least you can do is be more honest."
After a considerable amount of pausing, I nod slightly, meekly saying, "Yeah, I do."
I like Vincent Miller.
*****
Sorry to those I promised a long chapter to. I just thought this would be a good place to end on. Don't worry, another chapter coming out tonight. Sorry the wait on this one was ridiculous.