Day after day and... nothing. It's been a month since I screwed up. Two months? Two weeks? Maybe... I've completely lost track of everything: time, work, feelings. I don't even have enough strength to bar anyone out now. One day, Patton came into check on me.
"Roman? Roman?" He called. I groaned from my bed and rolled to look at him.
"Go away," I complained rolling back to face the wall.
"Roman, I think you should get dressed," he said gently, knowing I wasn't in a great place. "Maybe getting a breath of fresh air will help you feel better! And, we can clean up this room of yours. It's getting messy." Patton wasn't wrong about that. Clothes were strewn about the room and various dirty dishes had begun to pile on the table.
"No..." I weakly protested, feeling very much like a small child. Patton walked over to my bed and stripped off the covers. I whined in protest, but he simply pulled me out of bed.
"Come on!" He said, pulling me. "Let's get some breakfast, yeah?" I obediently followed him, but not before catching a glance at myself in the mirror. My hair was disheveled, and my clothes wrinkly. I wasn't wearing my suit, no I'd given that up awhile ago. I was simply wearing my logo t-shirt over white sweatpants, that had now been stained from various foods. I attempted to straighten my hair, but it only fell back into place. I gave up, and sank into the kitchen. Logan was busying himself in the kitchen, and Thomas... Thomas was just lying there on the couch. He was staring off into space with a blank look in his eyes, a placid look on his face. I bit my lip knowing I was the cause of this, but I didn't have the effort to try and fix it. I strolled by him, the guilt building in my chest and went and got cereal.
"Ah, salutations Roman!" Logan greeted me with civility, pretending not to notice my rugged appearance.
"Oh, hey Logan," I said. He smiled gently, the action warming my heart a little. I finished my breakfast and decided that it was enough social interaction for that day and returned to my room. However, Patton didn't agree with my choices and followed me. I groaned quietly when he popped up in my room besides me, but his persistence was touching. With a little more than gentle prodding, he helped me clean my room and fix my hair. I refused to change into my suit finding it to be too much effort, so he compromised and had me change into cleaner sweatpants. Patton left with a smile and a small wave as he sank down. However, he only left me with a clean room, not a clear conscious. I hadn't seen Anxiety once throughout the entire day which probably meant he was in his room. I didn't have any idea how long he had been there, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.
Is he eating enough? My thoughts asked me. What if he's hurting himself?! What if he's already-- I choked down a sob, stopping my train of thoughts there. Anxiety would be okay, he HAD to be okay.
But what if he's not?