I only knew his name. Not his story. But he knew mine. And he made sure he took a part of my life, my story, when he left.
One thing I would never have an answer for is how someone could love without seeing, touching, feeling. Love is something vigorous and it comes in more forms than can be explained. Forms you would least expect would bombard your mind, your life and leave you questioning the reason of your own existence. Where you dropped down to feel such great sorrow and pain? Loss? For love is all that combined and more.
I realised that running away from your problems was a race you could never win. Turn around, face the elephant in the room for you shall feel a great weight to be lifted. But how can you face your problems when you don't know what they are?
He helped me with my problems.
He knew every aspects of my life and helped me face my fears. And he did it without me realising it. He did it through small letters.
Feelings and emotions are completely different. Emotions come and go. But feelings stay and make sure to scratch their marks within you. Feelings suck. Let me just tell you that much.
There's one thing I hate more than anything and that itself is love. Why love someone when you can't keep to your promises? When you have no desire to be their 2:00 AM call. When you're not there to erase their pain? When you don't have an common ground, an understanding between yourselves. When you're not there to hold the person you love close to your heart.
No one should be that powerful to leave you broken, both inside and out, without even being there. Ruined, not broken. But that's what happened.
I fell hard and deeply into this dark, fascinating thing called: Love.
And I still cry about it till this day. Because damn you, you made me fall in love with you. You've not left me broken; but ruined, incapable of being repaired.