Last night I know that there are something wrong in me. Not only last night but these past few days.
I observed that I acted different. And it is wrong or bad or anything that describe that I know it's not good.
I have an attitude.
I overthink a lot of things.
I have flashbacks.
And I hate it when there are words, things and events that reminds me of things or memories I was struggling to forget.
I always told my boyfriend that I am not normal..there's something wrong in me.
But he always said I'm normal.
I know I have anxiety.
But I discovered last night that I am more than that..I have PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Now, I don't know who should I tell and who will help me to get through this.
I know God is with me, but I also need people who will stays at my side and understand me.
I have flashbacks, social avoidance, tension headache, sleep disturbances, impaired concentration and irritability.
I lost control most of the time..
And I was worried about what others may think of me. That's why I choose to distance myself to them and I'm not so attached to people.
I like to be alone but I don't want to be lonely.
It's hard for me to understand myself. What I want and what really satisfies me?
........