This wasn't the worst pain I'd ever endured. I'd felt Harry's pain whenever Voldemort was near or touched him. I'd screamed and fought against Neville and Ron when I had to watch as Sirius was killed and fell through the Veil. I'd even broken my arm once when I fell from a toy broomstick as a child. But on the list of painful times in my life, having Draco break my heart sat pretty high on it.
Harry could tell that something was up, but I assured him that I was completely fine - that I was just having a hard time dealing with Sirius' death and with Snape. I went out of my way to avoid Draco for the first few weeks of school, mostly out of fear that I might burst into tears at the sight of him. After that, I simply learned to ignore him when we were in the same room, and the hurt faded into anger. I had given him everything. He knew every little thing about me, knew every scar and curve on my body, whispered secrets in the dead of night. All of these things I gave to him I considered precious, yet he threw me away like I was a piece of rubbish he stepped on.
For some reason, this seemed to be the year that boys began to see girls as something other than an annoyance. I got multiple offers for Hogsmeade trips and study dates all within the first two months of school, but I rejected them all. Even though Draco had broken my heart, I didn't want to go on a date with someone that wasn't him. One boy though was relentless in his pursuit of me - the Gryffindor pretty boy Cormac McLaggen.
"C'mon, Isabelle, it'll be fun. Just the two of us, a few drinks at the Three Broomsticks, maybe a little walk around the lake?" I rolled my eyes as Cormac trailed beside me on the way to Herbology. I saw Draco sitting on a ledge outside as we exited the castle, and I stopped for a moment, pausing as a terrible idea crossed my mind.
"Cormac, do you really want to take me out?" I asked, twirling a piece of hair around my finger flirtily. Cormac grinned, moving forward a little. "I really, really do, Isa." I could see Draco's expression change from passive to pissed when Cormac used my nickname, and it annoyed me. How dare he get angry at other men giving me attention when he was the one who cast me aside?
"Fine, then. I'm free Saturday, let's take a trip to Hogsmeade." I turned on my heel and made my way down to the greenhouses, biting my lip. I had half expected, or maybe half hoped, that Draco would have stepped in and done something when he saw Cormac asking me out in front of him. But he had just sat there, watching and fuming. I guess he really didn't give a damn.
------
"Hold still!" Rosie said firmly, shoving me back down into the chair by my shoulders. "You'd be fidgeting too if you were going on a date with a total prat!" I said miserably. "Isabelle, in the three years I've known you, I have never seen you go on a date. And no, going to the Yule Ball with Neville Longbottom doesn't count. That was a friend thing. You need a real date." Rosie said as the braided my hair away from my face.
Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that if I was actually excited about this date I would have been pleased with my appearance. Rosie had picked out my outfit, done my makeup, and was braiding my hair back into a long, sleek plait. But, I couldn't care less. I was only going on this date to piss off Draco, and it had completely backfired.
"There, you're perfect," Rosie said, stepping back to admire her work. I glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed, getting up. "Cormac's probably waiting for me," I said, getting up and grabbing my coat and bag. "Isabelle, why are you so upset about this? I know Cormac doesn't have the best personality in the world, but I've never seen a girl be so unenthusiastic about going on a date." Rosie commented and I smiled sadly, feeling my chest become tight. "He isn't the one I want to go on a date with."
I gave her a quick hug and exited the dormitory before she could question me, walking down the stairs to see Cormac sitting by the fireplace. He stood up when he saw me, giving me something that looked like a mixture of a smile and a smirk, probably meant to be charming but it came off as absolutely creepy. "Ah, ready then?" He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek. I was surprised at his forwardness but just nodded, walking through the portrait hole with him and down towards the castle entrance.
------
I had anticipated the date being bad, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this awful. It wasn't hard to figure out why Cormac wanted to take me to Hogsmeade - I figured out his motives pretty quickly from his conversation choices. He was trying out for the position of the keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and while he was clearly a skilled player, the competition was stiff. Apparently, Cormac figured it was a brilliant idea to romance the Captain's twin sister in an effort to get in his good graces. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his plan had already backfired. Once I mentioned to Harry that Cormac was taking me on a date, he immediately thought a little less of him just on principle. Since I wasn't stopping him, he was really going for it. I sat through endless stories of his, all meant to impress me, but I just nodded along and mumbled in acknowledgment every now and then. To say I was bored to tears was an understatement.
"Isabelle? Are you listening to me?" I snapped back into focus, sighing when I saw Cormac looking at me expectantly. "I was telling you about my family's vacation home in Bulgaria and how the former Minister of Magic got horribly drunk on Firewhiskey there last summer." He said, chuckling. I sipped my butterbeer, shrugging. "Sorry, Cormac. There's a lot on my mind." Cormac scooted over a little so that he was sitting close to me, his face strangely sympathetic. "Well, what's on your pretty little mind then? I'd love to know." He said, obviously trying to make me melt into the palm of his hand.
I opened my mouth to speak, but my words caught in my throat when I saw Draco walk into the pub, but he wasn't alone. The Slytherin Skank, Pansy Parkinson, was hanging off of Draco's arm and making love faces at him. I couldn't tell if the feeling rising inside of me was betrayal, anger, or nausea. It felt like an awful combination of all three. They took a seat at a secluded table across the room that was conveniently in my line of sight. Draco caught my eye when we sat down, and even though his face was stony, his eyes were absolutely on fire. Fine, if he wanted to play this little game, I was going to fucking destroy him.
"It's nothing, Cormac. Please, tell me more about you. You're just so fascinating." I said, batting my eyelashes and placing my hand over his. This obviously boosted Cormac's ego and he launched into a huge speech that sounded like it was his life story. I pretended to be overly interested, laughing at the littlest things and being very touchy. I glanced over every now and then at Draco and Pansy, who were getting closer together with every passing minute. I tried not to slip into passive boredom, no matter how cringe-worthy Cormac's personality was. The final straw for me was when I looked over at Pansy and Draco again and felt my heart stop. Draco had his hands in Pansy's hair and was kissing her the way he used to kiss me - like he was drowning and I was a breath of fresh air.
Every part of my body screamed at me to look away, to stop the stabbing sensation in my heart, but I couldn't. It held me in a trance, seeing him snog Pansy like it was the last thing he'd ever do. "Isabelle? Are you alright? Why are you crying?" I heard Cormac say, and I reached up to touch my face, surprised to find it wet. For some reason, the realization that I was crying was the thing that broke me and I covered my mouth as the tears came faster.
"I'm sorry Cormac, I...I have to go." I choked out, getting up and hurrying out of the pub. I didn't know which way I was going, but all I knew was that I had to get away from the Three Broomsticks. When I came to my senses, I found myself at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and I dropped to my knees, unable to go further. I put my face in my hands, trying to muffle the wails my body couldn't contain. The pain was literally killing me inside.
"Trying to run away? Giving up on the Wizarding World?"
I refused to look up at the familiar voice, wiping at my eyes. I would not under any circumstances let him see me cry. I would not let him see how much he had broken me. "What the fuck do you want, Malfoy?" I said, keeping my eyes on the ground. I saw his shoes in front of me and he squatted down, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. "Why did you even pull that little stunt with McLaggen? Was it supposed to make me angry, Potter? Maybe make me want you back?" I said nothing, and he smirked. "Such a silly, stupid girl, living in a little fantasy world, believing I could ever love her."
I pushed him away from me, getting up quickly and glaring at him with murderous eyes. "Why can't you just leave me alone, Malfoy? You got what you wanted, didn't you? You broke my heart and threw away a three-year relationship. Why do you insist on torturing me still? You're such a foul, evil little cockroach!" I said, my voice cracking. Draco glared at me, advancing on me and yelling angrily "How dare you talk to me like that?" but he stopped dead in his tracks when I pulled out my wand and pointed it at him. "You take one more step towards me and I'll hex you into the next millennia," I said, my voice shaking with anger and sadness. Draco smirked, shaking his head. "You don't have it in you."
My temper flared and I pointed my wand at a huge boulder, screaming "DIFFINDO!!" Draco watched in mild horror as the massive rock exploded into dust. "Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." I said, feeling the tears fall down my face as Draco stared at me. "Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. For as long as I live, I never want you near me again." I said, and when Draco stayed silent, I turned away, hurrying back towards the castle and hoping no one would question why I had my arms wrapped around myself and tear-streaked cheeks.
Once I reached the safety of the castle, I ran to Gryffindor Tower, ignoring the questioning yells of Rosie and Ginny who were both seated in the Common Room. I burst into the dormitory, throwing myself on the bed and sobbing into my pillow. My grief took over my body and made it ache, from the top of my head all the way down to my toes. I had to face the harsh, horrible truth no matter how much I wanted to believe otherwise - Draco truly hated me, and he had never loved me.
(A/n: This is just awful. This makes my heart hurt. My OTP has been killed. Thank you so so much for reading, my lovelies! I hope you loved this chapter and if you did, make sure you subscribe to me or add this story to your reading list/library to make sure you get notified every time I update - Mondays and Thursdays! Also, if there's any Marvel fans out there, keep an eye out for my upcoming story! Love y'all!!)