"Forth's POV"
What happened to me? I was like a monster. After I saw Beam and Phana hugging each other, my mind went blank. I attacked Beam and kissed him possesively. I felt how he struggled to pushed me away. He was trembling. The way he looked me in the eyes, he was scared.
I ran away because I did not know how to face him after that. I left him there crying. I did not want to leave him but I was the reason for his tears.
He was so innocent and pure. I caused him physical and emotional trauma. All of this because of my jealousy. I really believed that he still liked me. My god Forth! That was 10 years ago. He was still a kid back then. It was puppy love. Of course there were many things that have changed. Beam could have fallen in love for a girl or he could have had relationships. Or he could be in a current affair with Phana. Phana is a better guy in all aspect than me. He was smarter and he was more popular. I should not have let myself do those things to Beam. I should have controlled my emotions. Now how am I suppose to talk to him?
The following day. I went to the medicine building to look for him. I saw Phana and Kit but Beam was not there. Did he skip school? Was it because of what I did? Now my consience is killing me.
"Pha!" I called as I approached the two of them.
When Pha heard my voice. He looked at me and grabbed my collar. Kit was shocked. He did not know what was happening.
"I let you talk to Beam yesterday and he came back crying. What did you do to him?"
"I.. I'm sorry. I.. want to talk to him." I can't look at them in the eyes.
I felt a heavy blow in my face then I stumbled on the floor. Phana was infuriated. Kit was trying to stop him from approaching me.
"Your lucky that you only recieved that. If we were not inside the school, I might have destroyed your face and beaten you to death."
"Please.. I.. I need to talk to Beam."
"Stay away from my friend!" Phana was charging but Kit was held him.
Kit dragged Phana away. I was slumped in my sit and was frozen in my position for a while.
I did not stop there. I came everyday to the medicine building but Beam was still absent. Phana and Kit looked worried. I did not dare to go near them. I did not want to cause more fight especially that they were Beam's closest friends. It will worry him if he knew that I am causing a havoc.
I watched the two of them leave the building. Maybe they will separate ways soon. If I can't talk to Phana, maybe Kit will hear me out so I followed them.
When Phana got into his dorm, I followed Kit until he reached his dormitory. I trailed him until he reached the third floor. I took a huge risk and approached him.
"Kit!" I shouted.
He looked surprised when he saw me.
"What are you doing here Forth?" Kit asked.
I explained to him that I have been observing them the whole week.
"I am concerned that Beam is not attending class. I know I'm the reason behind." I told Kit.
"Forth. We are concerned too. It's the first time Beam has done it. He never skipped class even if he is sick."
I felt more depressed after hearing that. What I did to him was unforgivable.
He let me in his room and served me tea. I explained to Kit what happened and my real feelings for Beam. I told him that I kissed Beam then left him crying. His face was twisted. I know he will judge me.
"But Beam is a guy." Kit said.
"I know Kit. I'm also not into that kind of relationship. But your friend is different. Beam is special to me. I liked him when we were kids. If there is something that have changed after all those years, it is that my feelings for him had only grown stronger."
Kit did blush. I saw it in his face.
"What if he doesn't feel the same way towards you?" Kit asked.
Suddenly, we heared a knock on Kit's door.
"Kit are you home?"
I know that voice. Kit looked at me worriedly.
"Oh my god Forth. That's Beam. Hide yourself."
We were in panic. I ran inside the bathroom and hid myself. Kit opened the door and let Beam inside his room.
"Kit. Can I borrow your notes for today?" I heared Beam's sweet voice.
"Sure. Sit down first and I'll take them out for you."
This is killing me. I need to plan my actions. I do not want to do more harm to him. I listened to their conversation for a while and think of a way to talk to him. I should confess and tell him how I feel. I will tell him that I like him since we were kids. I should be prepared of his answer, even if he dislikes me. I just hope we can be friends again even if he turns me down.
It became quiet. I opened the door slightly and took a peek. I saw my precious Beam copying Kit's notes.
"Uh.. Kit? Do you have a guest?" Beam asked.
"Huh? How did you know? Ahhhh.... I mean, what made you say that?" Kit almost slipped.
"Because there are two tea here and it's still hot." Beam noticed.
"No. No. I was expecting you to come so I prepared it earlier.. haha.." oh my god Kit, you sound like your not a good liar.
"Anyways Beam. What really happened to you?" Kit sound worried.
"It's nothing serious Kit. I am just feeling under the weather." Beam sure know how to lie better than Kit.
"Then when do you plan to go back to school? You have missed a lot of lectures."
"I can't tell you now Kit. I still have some important things to settle, something personal." Beam looked gloomy.
"It's about your childhod friend right? That Forth guy."
"How.. how.. did you know?" Beam looked surprised.
"Beam. He has been at med building everyday looking for you. Why don't you talk to him so you can settle everything. Your grades will be in jeopardy if you will not fix this issue soon."
Beam looked distressed. He stopped writing and closed his fists.
"Hey Kit. Can I tell you something?"
"Beam. You can tell me anything. You know I will not judge you. I am your bestfriend."
I heard Beam breath heavily and sighed. Can it be? Will he be telling Kit his thoughts about me?
"Forth kissed me." Beam closed his eyes while waiting for Kit's reaction.
Damn Kit. At least try to look like your surprised about that!
"And you were shocked because you did not feel the same way." Kit answered monotonously.
"It's not like that Kit. I liked Forth since we were kids. I never forgot about him. Even when I thought he died. My feelings for him were still the same."
"Then what's wrong? Is it because your both guys?"
"No. He already has a girlfriend. You know.. the girl who came at the bar that night. She was my classmate in grade school. Forth is dating her."
Kit was raising his brows while looking at my direction. He must be mad at me for not telling that part.
"You got jealous over the girl?" Kit asked.
"Yes. Somehow. What I did not understand is why he kissed me."
My heart was beating madly. Did I heard him right? Beam still has feelings for me. He was mistaken for thinking that Belle and I are dating. He did not go to school because he was confused at my actions. Why did not I thought of that.
I did not waste the moment. Beam has admitted it already. Even if he did not say it to my face. I heard it loud and clear. I walked out of the bathroom.
"I need time with Beam alone." I said commandingly while walking towards them.
Kit quickly dashed towards the door. He was smirking at me while heading outside. I saw him wink.
"Settle your issues you lovebirds. Don't mess my room and please don't use my bed!" I can still hear Kit shout.
Beam looked at me with shock.
"Wha.. Wha-a-at are you doing here.. Forth?" Beam was about to stand up and run but I stopped him from his track.
I pushed him back to his seat.
I kneeled infront of him and hugged him tightly. He was struggling but I did not give up. It was now or never. When he felt that I was not going to free him, he calmed down.
"Forth. Let go of me. This is not right." Beam sound defeated.
"Beam! Look me in the eyes."
He stared at me hurtingly.
"Belle is my friend. He became my classmate and best buddy after my accident. I told her everything. She knows that I have feelings for you. She knows that I like you"
Beam blushed when he heard the word 'like'.
"But.. but.. I thought.."
"She is already dating my brother Kurt."
"But.. But.." Beam was still not convinced.
"No more buts Beam. I heard your conversation with Kit, loud and clear. I want you to listen carefully and get this in your head."
Beam was speechless. He was pinching his face.
"Beam? Uhmmm.. What are you doing?" I asked.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm dreaming. I'm just checking." He is slapping his face now.
I stopped him. I took his hands and kissed them.
"Did you feel that. Do you think this is still a dream?"
I was now smiling at him. His ears were red and his face was burning.
"I love you Beam." I was still staring at his eyes.
"Huh?" That sound came weak.
"I loved you 10 years ago and I love you more today and tomorrow and I will love you until our next lives."
I saw him smile and tears started flowing in his eyes. I tried to wipe them but they continously poured. Oh my god my cute Beammy. He can't control his emotions. I stood him up and I hugged him. He burrowed his face in my chest while I carresed his head and back.
"Beam. You can stop crying now."
"Damn you Forth." He was smiling.
"Why are you cursing me now?"
He looked at me for a while but he averted his gaze and bit his lips like he was hiding something.
"Why do you always have to curse me?"
"Stupid Forth." He punched me lightly in the chest.
"Do you want me to force the answer from you?" I asked then I started tickling him.
"You jerk! At the washroom. That was suppose to be my first kiss!" He pouted.
Oh my god. Take me now. How can I suvive with his cuteness. I die everytime. I can't contol my lust over him. I don't care if it was someone else's room. I can take him. Right here. Right now.
Then I remembered what I did to him under the rain, when he went unconcious.
"Ahh.. Beam. That was not your first kiss..."