I stared up at the dark sky. I could see a few bright stars through the evergreen boughs and despite the cover the Forest brought, the moon full and its light permeated the area. It cast everything in an eerie glow, made the world seem surreal and haunting. It matched how I felt. Nothing felt right since the time check had brought me back.
I shivered slightly. I was so cold. Dying so violently always seemed to seep the warmth form the very core of my being. I was cold right through to my bones and no matter how warm Jax was, that heat did not sink into me. I could never forget that feeling, the feeling of ice overtaking the center of my being and refusing to let go. I took me a very long time to warm up after it happened, sometimes I feared I would never warm up again.
Jax's arm rested over my waist, his breath brushing over my neck. He hadn't been far from my side since he had returned from Havenbrook and found me. My chest ached at that. He had promised me I would be okay, that he would keep me safe but he had left me in the Forest, tied me to a fucking tree, and left me. Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought. There was something fucking wrong with me. Horrible things always happened to me and I didn't know why.
I turned my head to look at Jax and pain lanced my chest at the sight of his relaxed face. I wanted to cry. Everything in my life was fucked up. I just couldn't deal with it anymore, couldn't play pretend with him anymore. I slowly slipped out from underneath his arm and got to my feet. My stomach ached from the remnants of the death I had endured and I slowly started walking west. That was the direction Jax told me the town was in. I winced at that. I was so tired of people hurting me, of them breaking promises, or using me.
I trudged through the woods, keeping my eyes on the northern star, making sure I was continuing in the right direction. The night was dark but I could see by the light of the moon. I tried my best to walk quietly, trying not to alert Jax to my movements. He was asleep but I didn't trust that he wouldn't wake up and stop me from leaving.
I felt unsafe as I walked further into the forest but I pushed through it. I wasn't safe no matter where I was. I just had to continue on and push through it until I found a place I could hide from the world. Being taken from the shop had taught me a cruel lesson. The world was beautiful and magnificent but the more it appeared the way the more it would hurt you. It would tear you apart and break your heart. I hated my life in the shop but it was better than what I felt now.
Jax had lied to me. He had told me some pretty words and I had stupidly fell for them. I had foolish hopes that we could be together. That me being with him, taking that risk, meant he would do the same for me. I had thought that he would protect me and care for me and that he would want me. I was wrong. He had spun a pretty web of lies to make me comfortable so he could get his jollies off.
None of what he said was true. None of it. He was going to leave when he found his brother, was going to walk away and never look back. It fucking hurt because he had shown me this amazing and new world but would have left me in it without a guide. Just leave with a simple thank you for the sex and never think about me again.
Tears seared my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself. The tears felt overly hot against my cold skin. It was always so cold. I couldn't get warm. I rubbed at my arms as I looked around. I could see a clearing ahead but I wasn't sure what it was. I looked up at the sky, picking out the northern star and reassuring myself that I was walking to the right way before I made it to the clearing.
I paused, a black top road lay in front of me and when I looked down it I could see a large sign with Havenbrook written on it with a one beside it. I slowly crept forward, making my way to the road and then walking towards the sign. I was certain that the road would lead me to where I needed to go. I wanted to see my parents, to have someone look at me and tell me it would be okay, that they would be there for me.
I sniffled, wiping at my nose. I didn't have to worry that Jax would wake up and follow me anymore. I had been walking for a long while and I knew any sounds I would make now, he had no chance of hearing. I coughed, rubbing at my arms again, trying to get rid of the ice in my veins that wouldn't go away.
I walked and pondered what my parents would be like, what type of life they lived and how much they must had missed me. I wondered if they missed me as much as I missed them. I hadn't been given the chance to meet them and I missed them with everything that I was. I had held onto the hope that they would one day come for me, that they would take me from Irma. Now I just wanted to ask them why they had left me with her for so long.
That thought tugged at something inside my chest and my stomach rolled violently at the memory of the werewolf doing that to me, the tugging within my body cavity that I could feel but no longer perceive as pain. I fought back gags as I wiped at my sticky cheeks, the tears still falling despite my want for them to go away. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear them away when the lights of the town approached.
I walked faster, my parent's address burned into my mind as I headed to where I hoped I could call home. I just wanted to be free of the mess of my life. I wanted someone to be there to tell me if it would be okay and actually mean it. I wanted my parents, wanted what Jax had talked about, motherly kisses and fatherly hugs. I wanted it so badly it hurt because I knew that it would help heal some of the pain I was in.
Vehicles drove by me but I paid no attention to them as I finally reached the edge of the small town. I practically jogged down the streets trying to find the right one and when I did I frantically read house numbers, my heart in my throat as I drew closer and closer to where they lived. Finally I stopped in front of a nice and clean yard and a happy looking house. The moon bathed it in moonlight and with my heart in my throat I slowly move up the walkway and to the front door.
My hands shook and my stomach twisted up in knots as I reached for the door. In a moment of panic I felt the sudden urge to turn and run away, terrified at what I would find behind the door but I pushed through it and knocked loudly. The sound seemed to hang in the air and after a few moments I knocked again. The house was dark but after another few knocks a light turned on and the door was unlocked. I held my breath as it was yanked open and a man with a scowl stared at me.
I didn't know what to say to him and his eyes slowly widened as he looked at me. "Ummm.... hi?" I wanted to hit myself for the squeakiness of my voice but he said nothing, not taking his eyes off me as he slowly tuned his head. "My name is Violet. My parent's live here." I looked at him, hope blooming in me as I realized that we looked similar. I had his eye shape, I could just see it.
"Honey." He drew the word out and I could hear the sound of someone else coming closer.
"What, Jes?" The voice was clear and feminine and a woman who looked just like me stepped beside him. He was silent and she looked confused as she looked up at him. A flash of gold on her finger showed me that she was married, probably to the man I believed was my father.
"I don't mean to intrude but I think you are my parents." At my voice her gaze snapped to me and her eyes widened, her face going as pale as her husband's as she looked at me. I went to repeat myself when her eyes narrowed and she grabbed my arm in a tight grip and yanked me into the house.
"What are you doing here?" Her words were an angry hiss as she squeezed my arm.
"Irma told me where you lived and I was-"
"You aren't supposed to be here." She cut me off as she said it, looking me up and down as she pulled me further into the house.
I felt utterly confused, this was now how I expected our reunion to go. "I don't understa-"
"Jes, make the call before she thinks we took her and tries to rampage through our house." Her words were sharp and the man moved away. I tried to tug my arm out of the borderline painful grip the woman had it in and she yanked on it hard. "Why the hell are you here?" She stuck her finger in my face, her expression twisted with anger.
"I got out of the shop and I wanted to see you." The words seemed childish and stupid even to my own ears and she let me go, wiping her hand on her robe as if touching me made her feel dirty. "You are my mothe-" She whirled around at that, slapping me sharply. I inhaled deeply, shocked by the action as I touched the stinging spot.
"I am not your mother." The words hurt as she flung them at me. "You need to get that through your skull. I might have birthed you but you are Irma's property and I have no investment within you other than a means to an end." Each words was foul and cruel and reinforced everything Irma had ever told me about my parents.
My bottom lip trembled and I looked at her. "I don't understand." I didn't understand it. How had Irma been telling the truth?
Her eyes were hard as she looked at me without an ounce of affection or love. "You were the price of my freedom from that bitch and it was a price I was happy to pay."