My heart started to pound as I awoke. I was scared until I remembered where I was. I slowly opened my eyes.
"Hi." Sorin said quietly. We were at home; he was leaning against the headboard of our bed, still holding on to me. My clothing was tattered and dirty. My body bruised and bleeding.
"Hey." I smiled weakly. I squeezed myself closer to him.
"How do you feel?" He asked smiling sadly down at me.
I went to move but my entire body hurt. I moaned slightly "I don't know."
"I should take you to Lera. Is that okay?" He asked tentatively. I nodded my head and he shifted me to the medical facility and laid me down on one of the beds.
"Stay with me?" I pleaded, clutching his hand.
"You do not have to worry anymore." He assured me as he climbed on the bed beside me.
"Don't leave me." I latched onto him.
"I will never leave you." He kissed my forehead.
"I'm afraid to close my eyes again, I don't want you to disappear." I confided, holding him tight to me.
"Nothing could tear me away from you." He gently rubbed my head.
Lera slowly approached, "Hi Nicole," she said in a soft, low voice.
I gripped Sorin harder; afraid she would make him go.
"It is okay," she said, putting her hand on my arm. "He is not going anywhere. I just came in to check on you. You fell off the bed the other day and bruised your side. You have hurt your hands and feet too. Do you mind if I heal you?" she asked kindly.
I shook my head and buried it into Sorin's chest; I didn't want to see any of my wounds. I whimpered as she touched my skin and Sorin told her to stop.
"No, I want it gone," I said to him. "I can handle it."
Lera continued and in a short time I was completely healed.
"Would you like me to give you something to help you sleep?"
I looked up at Sorin, who smiled and nodded his head at me.
"You won't leave me?"
"Never."
I nodded to Lera and she gave me a sedative.
I opened my eyes to Sorin's perfect face sleeping next to mine. I touched his lips and he smiled, kissing my fingers.
"Hi"
"Hey" I smiled with tears in my eyes. I was so happy to see his beautiful face. I was so happy to be safe again.
"How do you feel today?"
"Better since I'm with you." I was so thankful to be back with him. I was glad I took the sedative. I had slept really well and was feeling a lot better. "I thought we were in the medical facility." I said looking around our room.
"I insisted you sleep up here."
"Thank you." I hugged him. "Have you been with me the whole time?"
"Of course. I promised you I would."
"What about Emily? Is she still here?" I suddenly worried something might have happened while I was gone.
"She is fine. We thought it best she go home and cover our tracks."
"How did you find me?" I asked. I had no memory of coming home.
"Ella and Jaffy found you in the forest and brought me to you. Do you know how you got there?"
"I don't remember." My mind was a little foggy. "I remember a woman's voice but I thought I imagined Ella and Jaffy being there. How long was I gone?"
"Nic, you were gone for nearly a month. You were in the medical facility for just a few hours before you woke up and took off," he explained.
"What?" I was astonished it had been that long.
"You were barely coherent when you called out my name. Before that, you said nothing, you would only scream in your sleep if anyone touched you. Lera could not for the life of her figure out what was going on. Once she healed your wounds, you appeared to be in perfect health. You no longer had a mark on your body, but you still screamed in agony." He was obviously shaken at the thought. "And when you woke up," He shook his head and swallowed hard. "The sheer terror in your eyes was shocking. I cannot fathom what you must have gone through." He closed his eyes and turned his head away. "I watched you every minute when you fled into the forest, waiting for the opportunity to get close to you. I was so afraid you would never come back to me."
I stayed silent, raging inside. Ciaran had turned my ideal world upside down. I didn't care about what he had done to me, but he had by extension, tortured everyone that I loved.
"Can you ever forgive me for not following you that day?" Sorrow still plagued his eyes.
"I told you not to. You couldn't have known what would happen. It's not your fault." I was stunned that he would blame himself. "I should never have gone into the forest on my own and called for him."
"You called for him?" He grit his teeth, trying to suppress his anger. "Did I not warn you about him? Why would you do something so foolish?"
"I needed answers that you couldn't give me. Please don't be angry with me. Believe me, I learned my lesson. I won't make the same mistake twice." He glanced at me and I realized I had made the same mistake twice, but I refuse to count something I had no memory of.
"I should have followed you."
"You can't follow me everywhere."
"Yes, I can."
Sorin took great care of me over the next few days. I had lost a lot of weight so he spent a lot of time cooking me all my favorite foods. He bought me the celebrity magazines I loved so much and even brought me my MacBook to watch movies on.
Modo came to see me after I had been home for a day. She said she wanted to be sure I had time to rest before she visited.
"I didn't know the dog was you." I told her as I hugged her. "Thank you so much. You gave me just what I needed; to know something was real."
"When Sorin couldn't get through to you, I had to do something. You were terrified of human contact, so I suspected you might relate better to an animal."
We didn't waste too much time talking about what had happened. I felt better with the knowledge that someone shared a piece of my nightmare. She would always understand better than anyone what I had gone through. She could feel the pain and suffering in my mind and therefore fully understood my feelings.
Modo told me whenever I felt l needed to talk, her door was always open for me. It was very comforting for me, I was sure I would take her up on that.
Lera and Modo kept me company when Sorin had to work, though he never left for more than a couple of hours at a time.
They really enjoyed watching movies with me. Armonia had electricity, but television never caught on there.
"I am glad you are doing so well." Lera said after examining me. "We did not understand why you were not around and then Sorin brought you to me in an unimaginable state." She cringed at the thought.
"I could heal your wounds, but not your mind. I could only hope you would recover. Sorin sat with you every second. He was mad with grief. I knew if you did not recover he too would be lost to us."
"He didn't tell anyone I was gone?"
"No, he did not talk to anyone for weeks. He was almost always away. It was not until he destroyed the training facility that I suspected you were gone."
"He ruined the training facility?" My heart ached for him.
"Annihilated it. He took out a huge part of the forest as well, but that was after he brought you back. It is a frightening thing when someone so powerful is in so much agony." She looked at me kindly, "That man is truly, madly, deeply in love with you. You are very lucky. He wanted so badly to hold you but every time he touched you, you cried in pain. You should have seen the look on his face when you called out his name." Her eyes welled up, "I get choked up just thinking about it."
When Sorin walked in the door I ran and playfully jumped into his arms. "I love my supernatural hero!" I declared with a huge smile.
He was very surprised at my sudden declaration. "For what am I owed the honor of this?" He laughed, hugging me.
"It is I that am honored by you." I corrected him, "you are the most amazing man I could ever imagine, and I am proud to call you my husband. With extra emphasis on husband." I added with a wink.
"On that note, I'll leave you two alone," Lera said, walking to the door.
"Thank you for staying with her." Sorin said just as I opened my mouth to speak. I laughed to myself at how he always did that. He always knew what I was going to say.
"I'll see you later!" I waved goodbye.
I led Sorin to the couch to sit down. After finding out how hard it was for him when I was gone, I understood why he didn't push me for answers. I think a part of him was afraid to know what really happened. Knowing him, he blamed himself.
"I want to talk about Ciaran." I could see the mixed emotions on his face.
He just studied me for a few moments at first. "Did he tell you why he did it?" he asked.
"I think he was angry, because we found our way back together even though he wanted to keep us separate. He told me he would heal Emily, but only if I went back to him," I explained. "I'm sorry I left, but I thought I had no choice."
"How could I have let this happen to you? What have I done?" He looked at me with anguish. "This is all my fault! What you must think of me!" He closed his eyes and shook his head in despair.
"I love you. Nothing could ever change that. Even when he erased you from my life, I always felt empty. He tried everything to make me happy and to make me love him, but I just felt vacant. At first it made him try harder but the harder he tried the more resentful he became when I didn't respond to him. He was a great friend to me at first, but that's all I felt for him. After a few months he changed. He looked at me with contempt. When I started dreaming of you, he became vicious and did horrible things to me." As soon as my last sentence came out of my mouth, I regretted saying it. It was very upsetting for Sorin.
Sorin sat beside me slumped forward with his face in his hands.
"I use to dream about you." I told him. I needed him to understand how much he meant to me even when I couldn't consciously remember him. "The worse he was, the more I dreamt about you. It was like you were there protecting me. My dreams were the only good thing in my life. He may have tried to erase you, but you were always there when I needed you most."
Sorin was still and silent.
"Look at how quickly we reconnected. Somehow I knew I could trust you. I was drawn to you immediately. I was never drawn to him; it was always you. You're a part of my soul." I turned his face to mine, kissed him, took his hands and led him up to our room.
"A good man would let you go to keep you from harms way," he said as he followed me up the stairs.
"Lucky for me you're more than a man." I smiled at him over my shoulder.
"Either way, I am afraid I will never let you go."
"I thought you were afraid of nothing." I teased as I climbed up onto the bed. "Besides, I am fully aware of what I've gotten myself into. Well... as aware as I can be with the whole brain wipe thing." I laughed. "Anyways, I would never forgive you if you left me for my own good. I've never understood that, it's like a copout or something. Things get too complicated and 'Oh, time to leave you for your own good'. Just what is so good about being alone and devastated?" I rambled on and Sorin listened to my babble with a huge grin.
"It doesn't sound too good to me. I know you wouldn't do that; you never take the easy way out, you like a challenge far too much. I'm living proof of that."
"That you are." He chuckled and climbed in next to me.
"I wish I could lay here with you forever." I rested my head on his chest and snuggled up to him. He softly traced up and down my bare back with his fingertips.
I noticed a very faint line across his chest. "What is this from?" I asked moving my finger along it.
"You know the shock-wavething, as you refer to it?"
"Mhmm" I nodded continuing to rub my fingers over it.
"If it blasts in a complete circle the energy has to pass through me somehow." He shrugged.
"Does that hurt when it happens?" I asked. I wondered to myself how I hadn't noticed a mark after the other time he had done it. I suppose I was far too preoccupied.
"Very much."
"Why do you do it then?" I glanced up at him.
"Sometimes it is necessary."
"Like in the training facility and the forest?"
"In the forest, yes." He smiled sadly. "When Emily told me what she had seen, I knew that Ciaran had you. I looked for you everywhere, knowing you were in the one place I could not get to.
"One day Vallin asked about you and I lost it. I threw energy spheres at the walls until there were no walls. No one asked again.
"Ella and Jaffy came to me in a panic one day and brought me to you in the forest." He took a deep breath, "When I saw what he had done to you..." He ran his hand up my arm, my shoulder, the side of my neck and then brushed his fingers over the side of my face. I could tell by the look in his eyes, that he was remembering what the brands felt and looked like. "I brought you to Lera and shifted into the forest before I destroyed the city."
"I'm okay now." I smiled up at him.
"I hate that you went through that." His deep voice shook. It was hard to watch someone who was always in control struggle to hold himself together. It showed me just how horrible it was for him.
"Me too, but I'm fine now." I lied. I would never really be the same again. "You know the saying, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well I am going to be an ass kicking machine from now on." I joked, but Sorin didn't laughed.
"How about you leave the ass kicking to me? It is my job after all."
"Then what do I get to do?"
"You, my love, get to have a bubble bath." He knew that was one of my favorite things and it always helped me relax.
"With you?" I hoped.
"If that is what you wish, then yes." He climbed out of bed.
I watched his perfect silhouette walk to the tub, smiling to myself. Sorin's big masculine body was quite the contrast to the delicate pedestal slipper tub!
"Why are you in there already?" I asked him.
"It takes me a while to build up to the temperature that you like," he explained.
I laughed and climbed in, leaning back on him. "It's just right."
There is nothing like a relaxing bubble bath to help you gain perspective. There's also nothing like having someone in it with you to help you lose track of time.
"I promised Lera I would bring you down to see her today. I think it is better if we do not show up as prunes." He lifted my wrinkly hand out of the water.
Just then it dawned on me what he had said about Emily. "Sorin?"
"Yes, my love?"
"What did you mean when you said Emily told you what she had seen?" I had a nagging feeling there was way more going on than I was privy to.
"You caught that huh?"
"What did you mean?"
"She saw you with Ciaran. We were unable to determine why she was able to."
A flash of my visit with Errington came to mind and I wondered if I projected myself to Emily. Either that or maybe Emily has been hiding something from me... nah, couldn't be. Although she is very good at keeping secrets, she is a lawyer after all.
"I will leave you to dress and I will meet you downstairs," Sorin said and left the room.
It was so good to blow dry my hair and wear makeup! I felt like a million bucks. Okay maybe only five hundred thousand.
I decided I would meet Sorin halfway on the uniform thing. I was sick of wearing it all the time. I put on my black cargo pants, but I opted for a lime green tank instead of the black shirt I usually had to wear and some black beaded flip-flops.
"Is this okay?" I asked him when I got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Honestly, I am surprised you still wear any of the uniform." He smiled.
"You said I had to blend in."
He laughed. "You do not blend in anywhere you go."
I threw my hands up in the air and laughed with him. "I actually like the pants. Who knew they would be so comfortable, yet so stylish." I spun around to model them for him.
"They are only stylish on you." He held my hand and spun me again.
"We should go out dancing! Is there anywhere to go here? We could go where I usually go at home. What do you say?" I danced around him, whistling. It was energizing just to be back with him.
"Now?" He asked.
"It doesn't have to be right this minute, but tonight would be good, or whenever night time is in Midgard."
"Very good. You learned the name of your realm." He was impressed. "I do not think it would be wise to leave here now. This is one of the first days you have been able get out of bed. I think it is too soon."
I was sick of being stuck inside it had been months since I had heard music that I liked. I just wanted to go out, have fun and forget about all of the bad things. I just wanted my life to get back to normal. Physically, I was fine. Mentally I needed a really huge pick me up.
"You are walking trouble." He frowned at me.
"Just for an hour?"
"No."
"Half hour?"
"No."
"Awe, come on! Please? You know you want to." I danced around bumping him with my hip.
"Do I?" His mouth was a hard line and his forehead creased. I hoped if I persisted, I could crack him.
"I think you do." I rested my arms on his shoulders and swayed my hips from side to side. He put his hands around my lower back and moved me closer to him. I traced my lips up the side of his neck stopping to nibble his ear lobe. He brushed his cheek softly back and forth on mine barely touching me. It was so sensual it sent shivers down my spine.
"I think my plan backfired because..." I breathed, "I don't care about going anymore."
He flashed a victory grin.
"We can go another time. Lera is waiting for you." He shifted me downstairs.