AN: Yey! *yeying* I finally updated!? How happy are you all?? I bet pretty darn friggin' happy! Or at least I would hope so! Anyways just a recap from last chapter. Louis and Harry snogged sweetly outside the car and Hannah spotted someone from in Harry's house staring at them. . So yeah! It was a bit of a cliffhanger and I am sorry you had to have it like that for so long but I'm just gonna stop talking and let you read, but please. . . .
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Tankies! Enjoy! ;D
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Harry's POV
I turned to see Hannah there before saying, “Sorry, boys, but I thought I might want to tell Harry that there is a guy looking through the window of your house at you two.”
Both Louis and I look over to see that there was infact a bloke looking through the living room window at us eyes wide and mouth open. Sh*t! I forgot we were in public! I felt myself go into panic mode and I knew Louis couldn’t tell I knew exactly who that was.
“Haz, who is that?”, Louis asked me.
“Oh umm that is my best friend Charley. I forgot he got off vacation today.”, I said a bit distant as my thoughts were racing.
“You don’t think he saw us do you?”,Louis said to him a bit uneasy.
“I don’t know how much but I know he saw enough.”, I half lied. I knew he had though because of his face and how utterly shocked he was.
“Are you gonna go in and talk to him?”, Louis pressed.
“As much as I really don’t want to I know he is going to pry it out of me.”, I said feeling the nerves in my stomach knot further.
Louis squeezed my hand reassuringly and then said a quick bye and some words of comfort that I was too lost in my own thoughts to actual hear before Hannah and him got back into the car.
I watched them leave and felt my the nervous feeling in my stomach grow immensely as I approached the front door. I held the door handle in my hand before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before opening it to my inevitable fate.
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Louis’ POV
As I got back into the car I turned in my seat to look up at Harry. I wish I hadn’t though. His whole body stature was rigid with panic. It only got worse as he turned to look at us as he waved a small goodbye. His eyes were wide and stuck with fear. I wish I could go in there with him, but I don’t think that would help as much as I would like it too.
Why did we have to be so bloody stupid and kiss in public? We have always been so good about that. Well other than the time where we held hands, and almost kissed at the playground, and then there was the time with the flower. . Okay sooo maybe we aren’t all that good at keeping out feelings in check in public places, but have you seen Harry? I can’t help it!
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Hannah spoke up and said,”Do you think he will be alright?” I could see the concern flooding into her features.
“I really don’t know, but I hope so.”, I said quietly fumbling around with my hands in my lap.
The rest of the ride was silent as we were both in our our thoughts. I am still wondering what was up with Harry this morning even though I forgave him. I can’t help but want to know, but Harry seemed to be over whatever it was. I hope he is anyways. What if he isn’t though? What if he doesn’t like me as much as I thought?
No, Louis! Stop that! You know he still likes you because of the way he kissed you back there. You can’t fake a kiss like that one. Unfortunately that takes me back to the fact that Harry is about to come out to one of his friends and I’m not there to help him in anyway. It is a bit unsettling.
Once we pull back into the house Hannah and I come inside together both looking a bit out of sorts. I left Hannah to be the one to talk about what had happened at the sleepover thing since I was too stressed out to want to.
The rest of the night was a blur I remember eating something with chicken in it for supper when they called me down to eat. I know I watched a movie with my sister on the couch after that, but the conversation was all me on auto pilot mode because I was too nervous for Harry to calm myself down. I didn’t want to text him because I didn't know what was going on over there and didn’t want to interrupt anything. I felt so useless.
I headed because up the stairs and into my room. Once I was there I striped down to my briefs and I layed down onto the bed and felt sleep start to come. My ears did perk up later with the slight vibration of my phone going off somewhere in the pocket of the the jeans I had taken off. I was about to get up to check it but found that sleep took over too much for me to get up. The dark haze captured my thoughts as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
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Harry’s POV
Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t frucking crap just like Sh*t was all that was going through my brain as I slowly opened the door. I didn’t really think I was ready to tell him yet. Hell, I hadn’t even thought about it! Who am I kidding I’m not ready at all! I can feel my palm’s sweating and claming up and my breath is getting more shallow by the minute.
I’ve know Charley since I was too small to remember and I don’t know what I am gonna tell him!? Like what do you even say? Telling my sister was one thing because I was pretty sure she was going to be okay with it for the most part and most of my hesitation was just nerves cause who wouldn’t be nervous! As for Charley I really don’t know if he will accept me or not? I don’t know what his position is on gays but I guess it just never came up in conversation and right now I really wish it had! Why hadn’t it? Like how couldn’t it have? God, why didn’t it?
As I opened the door fully I looked up to find Charley still in shock and then turning to look at me. His eyes were wide like saucers and his body was rigid and tense his mouth fully open with no words coming out. I could tell there were some other emotions in his features, but I couldn’t tell what they were because he was flipping between them so fast. He wouldn’t stop looking at me and I couldn’t stop looking at him.
We were both just standing there, me in the doorway, and him over by the window where he must have been since he saw us. A good few meters apart being the only distance to separate him from I and this whole situation. My brain was at a stand still and my heart is the complete opposite. My heart is pumping blood and adrenaline throughout my whole body so fast I can feel my body shaking even though I can’t move. I just wanted to run away, but I felt like I was stuck, like my feet were nailed down to the floor and there was no way I was going to be able to move. It is just so awkward and silent and we just are still staring!
How long has it been now?
A minute.
five!
Ten!?
Who knows?!
God, someone needs to say something!
“Harry, could you at least shut the door you are letting all the bugs in! I know you and Charley are having a thing or whatever, but please shut the door.”, Someone said on the other side of the room.
“Huh? W-What?“, I said, my voice slow and thick. I felt like I hadn’t spoke in weeks and was for the first time since. Didi I always sound like this?
“Harry, come on! I don’t want bugs in my room later!”, I finally turned my head away from Charley’s never ending stare to find it was Gemma who had spoke. I still hadn’t moved in my place.
“For God sakes Harry!”, she said loudly as she walked across the room and shut the door for me, making it more silent that it was before. Was this room always so quiet and stuffy. I feel like I am suffocating! I need to get out of here. This is just too much to handle. I need to go. Now!
I start to walk towards my room but I heard footsteps behind me trying to catch up. I walk faster. Come on Harry, you are almost there and then you can just lock yourself and your feelings in your room forever and never come out.
Only 5 more steps,
. . 4,
. . 3,
almost there,
. . 2.
But then right before I reach my room the person from behind me grabs my shoulder hard and flips me around to look at them.
“What the F*ck Harry?!”, Charley screamed st me.
No. Nooo! No no no no Sh*t I can’t take this right now!
“Like what the actual F*ck Harry!?”, he said harshly.
He was gripping my shoulder hard making sure I stayed where he wanted me. I mean I don’t blame him I probably would have bolted if he wasn’t trying so hard for me to stay.
“F*cking look at me Harry!”, He said still angry.
This is what I feared the most.
This is what I thought might happen.
I kept my eyes on the ground for a minute and I could tell he was losing his patience. I found enough courage in me somewhere to look up at him. I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have. I should have stayed looking at the ground. I shouldn’t have because this is just too much to take it. I can’t do this! I don’t want this! I never asked for this! God, why did I have to kiss him in public! Why didn’t I think about that?! Why? Just why?! His whole face was scrunched up in a fiery rage and he looked like he could kill someone. His whole body looked hard as a rock and there was a white hot fire burning in his eyes. I felt like I needed to say something, but I only opened my mouth to close it several times.
“I-I d-diddn’t . .I- umm . Sh*t I-I”, I said, but all my my words were jumbling together and I couldn't make a proper sentence. What was I supposed to say anyways? What did he want me to say?? What did he want from me?!
“That is it?”, Charley said annoyed with me by now
Silence.
“That is all you are gonna say after that?!”, He said still trying to get me to talk to him.
Silence.
“Harry come on! Talk to me!”, he said again still not letting up.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY CHARLEY?!” I bellowed at him.
Silence.
I felt the familiar stinging feeling start to grow in my eyes, before a hot tear silently fell down my face. At the sight of this I could tell Charley looked like he felt bad now, but it only lasted a second before he boarded up his face so I couldn’t tell how he was feeling. I had never seen him do that to me. I always knew how he was feeling, but right now he was so close, but yet so distant. I hated it! I f*cking hated it! I felt another stupid tear streak my cheek, as another then slowly fell down from the other eye as I looked away from him for the first time to let my eyes watch another tear blink down and drip down to land on my shoe.
“Harry. I-” Charlet stated a bit calmer, but not but much.
“No Charley. Just don’t”, I said in a whisper so soft I don’t even know if he really knew what I said. I felt so defeated.
“Just go, please.” I said a bit louder this time, but not much.
“No Harry I-” He tried.
“No Charley!”
“Harry if you would just li-”
“Just go! . Please. .” I pleaded.
I couldn’t have him here anymore! I need him out! I need all his words to stop repeating in my head over and over! I need his blank face out of my head! This isn’t fair! I didn’t even get to tell him myself! I need him to go before he tells me what I don’t want to hear! I would break if he ever did. . . It is better if I just avoid it. Delay the inevitable.
“Harry I can’t ju-” He tried again.
“Please Charley!” I whisper screamed clenching my fists burning holes into the ground with my eyes. Why won’t he just leave!?
I felt the pressure of his hand on my shoulder leave before he said slowly and cautiously,”Okay. I’ll leave.”
I didn’t say anything. I just watched as he made small and leisure steps down the hallway before saying a quick goodbye to Gemma still in the living room. Once he hit the door though he turned his gaze back to me and gave me an unreadable expression full of a lot of different emotions that I couldn’t detect before opening the door and leaving shutting the door calmly behind him.
I let out a shaky breath before breaking down right there.
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AN: I know! I know! I know! Poor Harry!!! (The gif on the side makes me so sad and the feels!) I didn't even know what was gonna happen until I wrote it and then was like how could I did that to him! I am such a mean and evil person! But it had to happen! So what do you guys think of Charley? What do you think he thinks of Harry? Do you think Harry will be okay? What is Louis thinking? Please let me know your thoughts and predictions int he comments they are really helpful and make my day! Thank-you all I love you!!
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