Chapter 13 - Say Something
And I will swallow my pride
You're the on that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Kai
Three days ago
"Liam just called and said they were heading to the studio and asked if we wanted to join them." Kiran says smiling down at her phone while I change the channel on the telly. I swear there is never anything good on at his hour.
Kyle sits on the couch crunching on some cereal and mumbling gibberish. "Come again?" I ask and she swallows. "I said we should go. We aren't doing anything else."
I silently groan because going means being with Louis. Being with him isn't bad I even enjoy it which is the problem. I get carried away and find myself forgetting he doesn't know who I am. There have been a few close calls when I'm about to say something that we shared but fortunately I stop myself before the words are out. My heart no longer hates him but I can't tell him. I won't. "I don't know Kyle, we see them everyday maybe we should just chill out today." I say and she stops munching on her cereal.
"So what? I'd rather be wasting my time with them than just being here lazying around all day." Kyle throws an exasperated look my way before returning to her breakfast. That girl loves her Cocoa Pebbles.
I role my eyes and shake my head. I have to come up with an excuse not to go. "Then we can do something. We don't have to stay here we can go somewhere."
Kyle gets up apperantly done with her cereal and walks towards the kitchen. "Like where? I don't really want to go anywhere but here or the studio I really don't feel like putting make up on." She states and I hear the clanking sound of her putting the bowl in the sink.
I sigh annoyed by her need to go to the studio. Why can't they just stay away from the lads for a day? Its like they're addicted to their company. "Then don't but that doesn't mean we have to go to the studio."
Kyle returns a few seconds later with an equally annoyed expression and frustration in her amber eyes. "God Mal! Just admit you don't want to see Louis. Because we all know thats the only reason you don't want to go to the studio. Well you know what? Get over it already! He forgot but have you ever stopped to think you he just doesn't recognize you. You completely changed since you knew him. And you should have just told him! I'm sick and tired of your attitude towards him when he has done absolutely nothing wrong to you. I have had to lie to all of them because of your secret and so has Kiran. What happens when they find out the truth?" She all but yells at me. Wow Kyle's never gone off on anybody like that before. I don't know whether to feel proud or hurt.
Kiran starts clapping and Kyle throws her a look. Kiran just smiles. "I've never seen you so mad before. That was awesome Kyle I am so proud of you. And I totally agree Kai. Just tell him or don't but he's going to find out eventually." She tells me looking sympathetical. I sigh knowing its true. I have to tell him but that would mean he'd find out about dad and how I hadn't told him sooner.
I look at both of them with apologetic eyes. "I didn't know you guys felt that way and I'm sorry you've had to lie because of me. I'll tell him soon, promise." I promise them feeling uneasy with it. I know I have to but how?
Present Time
My phone chimes alerting me of a message. A smile creeps on my lips as I read the message.
Louis ;)
I'm here so get your pretty bum down here!
My heart pitter-patters when I realize we're going to be alone for a few hours. Ever since that talk with the girls I've been opening up to Louis. We've spent the last couple of days talking and sharing more but I've yet to tell him the truth. I just can't seem to get the words to come out. I'm scared. I sigh grabbing my purse and heading downstairs. I stop in my tracks when I see Louis leaning on his car. "A black Porshe. Really?" I ask not entirely surprised by his expensive taste in cars. I bet he has many others. I guess its one of the perks of being a famous singer with millions of dollars.
His smile lights up his face making him look absolutely stunning. "Well you know I like to have nice things. Don't you?" He chuckles and walks up to me placing a strand of hair behind my ear. My cheeks flush at the contact of skin and it only gets worse when his lips touch my cheek. They linger there for about a second too long to be considered friendly. "Good morning." He says as he opens the passenger side door for me. I flush again at his gentlemanly gesture. Oh boy. I'm in trouble if him opening a door gets to me. I get into the sleek car and the door closes and Louis runs around and gets in as well.
Louis smiles at me when he heads out of the parking lot. "So what are the girls doing today?" He asks and I am hyper aware of every movement he makes. My body feels tingly at being in an enclosed space with him. Not to mention he smells really good.
I try to calm my eratic heartbeat and look straight ahead. "Well Kiran I think was going to the mall and Kyle is going out with dickface I mean Brian." I smile when Louis chuckles and my body relaxes. It almost feels like it used to back home.
"That name suits him perfectly." He comments gazin at me with those bluish-green eyes of his. That smile hasn't left his face for three whole days.
I laugh and nod. "I know. What are the guys doing?" I ask playing nervously with my hands on my lap. I feel Louis eyes on me and soon his hand is seperating mine. Delicious tingles shoot up my arm at the warm contact of his hand. He takes my left hand in his right one and laces our fingers together.
My breath hitches and I can barely think. What is he doing to me? He chuckles at my obvious reaction and returns his eyes to the road. "They all decided to stay in today. Zayn is having Leah over though and Dani might swing by too." He says as his thumb begins to move softly back and forth on my hand.
I struggle to get my thoughts to come up with a cohesive response. "Wait did you say Dani? As in Liam's ex Dani?" I ask skeptically. I thought they had stopped talking. Liam said the break up was her decision Why would she be coming around now?
Lou chuckles again and I love his laugh. Always have because it is so full of joy and just perfectly him. "Yeah I know that was my same reaction when I heard. Apperantely she's been texting him again. I like Dani but she needs to leave Liam alone if she doesn't want him back. Poor Liam's suffered enough by her hand." He finishes and I stare at him. He cares so much about his friends. I guess he hasn't changed as much as I thought.
Louis realizes I'm staring and turns to me with a curois smile. "Wha?" He asks and I just smile back. "Nothing." I say and look back towards the front. "And I agree with you. Liam's told me about it."
Louis nods and I notice we've arrived at our destination. Lucy's Café. I smile to myself because I haven't come her since we began this whole endevor with Simon and the lads. I've missed performing here. "Then you can perform something while we're here." Louis says and thats when I figure I must have said that out loud.
"Maybe." I say as Louis opens the door for me yet again. We walk to the entrace at a close enough distance where our hand ocasionaly brush each other. Once inside the warmth and smell of coffee envelopes me.
Louis takes my had directing me to an empty table. We sit down and Annabel spots me immediately. Her shoulder length red hair makes her blue eyes pop out. She's smiling broadly at me and then her eyes land on Louis. Annabel's eyes go big and she raises a questioning eyebrow. "Kai!" She explaims when she's right in front of me.
"Bell how are you? I haven't seen you in ages." I ask and Louis looks up at her. His eyes rake over her length and I find myself feeling jealous. What the hell is wrong with me? Ugh I blame the hormones.
Bell's smile takes over her face and she looks stunning. "I'm good and you haven't come to visit me ever since you got that sweet deal with them." She says tilting her head towards Louis I might have felt bad about it but her smile lets me know she's not calling me out on it.
"They've been keeping me busy with all sorts of stuff." I defend myself throwing Louis a smile. "Oh um, Louis this is Annabel Edwards. Annabel this is Louis Tomlinson." I introduce them and they shake hands.
"It's a pleasure to meet the one who gave The Keys their first gig." Louis says smiling up at her and the jealousy creeps back inside me.
Bell laughs and fixes her bangs behind her ear. "It's nice to meet you too. Now what will you guys be having today?" She asks and Louis and I order some food. I feel people staring at us and I know its because they recognize Louis. I guess I should get used to this. I haven't really been out of the flat or the studio since the announcement. Bell leaves to attend to other clients and I'm left alone with Louis.
"When did you first know you wanted to sing?" He asks and I instantly panic. The first time I knew I wanted to sing for a living was when Louis and I sang together at my house....with my dad. How am I going to to answer this without giving anything away?!
I fidget nervously and play with my napkin. "Um.." I begin but a little girl about eight years old appears next to me. She looks between Louis and me with big expresive brown eyes. Her curly blonde hair lies just above her waist.
"Hey." She says nervously bitting her bottom lip. I can tell the girl is deadly nervous and feel sorry for the poor kid.
"Hey sweety, whats your name?" I ask smiling at the blonde little girl. She smiles back shyly and plays with the hem of her short light blue dress. Louis's smile grows fond as he looks at me with the girl.
"Camila." She answers and thats when I notice the notepad and pen in her hand.
"Its nice to meet you Camila." I reasure her and she smiles more confidently now. Louis smiles at her and throws me a look of pure affection.
"Can I get your autograph?" She asks and I look at Louis waiting for his answer only to find him staring expectantly at me. What? I ask him with my eyes and he smiles cheekily at me then signals to Camila. I don't get what he's trying to say. I finally figure it out when I find Camila looking at me and not Louis.
Surprise fills me. "You want my autograph?" I ask unable to comprehend the situation. Camila nods and I'm filled with awe. This little girl want my autograph. "Um, sure sweety." Camila smiles broadly and hands me the notepad and pen quickly. I sign the pad:
For my very special friend Camila who asked me for my very first autograph.
XO Malakai Ellis <3
I give the notepad back to the little girl and notice Louis' eyes lingering on my signiture. Oh god! I signed my full name! I almost hug the girl when she turns it around and asks Louis for his. His attention averts back to her and I breathe a sigh of relief. That was a close one. The girl leaves with a goodbye hug from both of us and Annabel is soon with us.
"So I've got almost everybody requesting you sing a song for us." She says as soon as she's standing in front of us. Her smile is hopeful and I feel a familiar sense of excitement fill me.
Louis grabs my hand and I look at them. "You should do it. You said you'd missed it." He reminds me and I look up at him. I weigh my options and the truth is I really have missed it.
I smile at Louis with challenging eyes and he raises an eyebrow at my expression. "Alright but only if you sing with me." His surprised face makes that smile grow bigger.
"Show me the way." He says trying to contain a smile. I grab his hand and pull him towards the piano at the middle of the room. I sit on the stool and he sits down with me. "So what will it be?"
I think for a second and a song instantly comes to mind. Its a song that expresses how I've felt and still feel about Louis and this whole situation. "You'll know it." I smile at him and place my fingers on the keyboard. I can feel all eyes on us as I begin to play. The familiar tones of the piano fill the room and I see recognition spark in Louis eyes.
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me too
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
I sing as I stare into his eyes trying to speak to him through this song. This is what I've wanted to tell him since the day I ran into him. His piercing eyes look into mine as he starts signing with me.
And I'm feeling so small,
it was over my head,
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl
I sing with all I have and I'm sad knowing he doesn't undestand the meaning behind my words. I want him to understand.
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would have followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride,
you're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye,
I thought I couldn't tell him but I can. I have to. He means too much. His eyes look into mine and I can see how he feels. I can see everything I wished he would feel.
Say something I'm giving up on you
and I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you,
And anywhere I would have followed you
A tear runs down my cheek and his eyes seem to almost hurt. Its like he knows that I'm in pain and like he wants to make it stop.
Ouhh ouhh
Say something im giving up on you
Say something im giving up on you
Say something
We finish the song and I barely hear the roar of the applaus. All I can see is him. How his eyes rake over me in a familiar way. How his expression makes my heart ache. I stand up and smile at the crowd and thank them for listening. Louis follows soon after and then we go back to our table and enjoy are lunch.
My heart aches with longing. I want him back. Like it used to be.
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Hey lovies! I really really like this chapter and I so hope that you like it as much as I do! I have finals this week (I only take two! Woohoo!) and an Honor Society convention so I might get some writing done and I already have something written but I won't be updating next week and if I do then I'm awesome! Hahaha totally kidding! Anyway thank you for reading! Picture on the side!
Vote and comment!
Love, Kamila :)