Trans Boy

By skeletondrummer

37.3K 703 92

The idea of being sent to a 'straight camp' for the entire summer sounded absurd. Nothing about it made the s... More

missing chapters
eleven. swimsuits and binders
idk what to call this one
twelve. accusations don't make friends
thirteen. fun doesn't hurt
fourteen. have some faith
fifteen. bonfires leak secrets
really unimportant a/n ✏️
seventeen. depression is the best anticure
eighteen. letters to the dead
nineteen. water is thicker than blood
twenty. just like a married couple
twenty-one. this is all we have
twenty-two. a classic case of teenage angst
update?
twenty-three. going home

sixteen. calm storm on a wild sea

909 48 0
By skeletondrummer

guess who got hit by a car walking home from work? yeah ik i'm a dumbass but like hey i'm home from school today. also i have no motivation to write for some reason despite the fact that i'm unable to move and am staying in bed all day but whatever i'll still pump out a chapter for you guys bc i love you. also bc i'm bored of t.v.. so here's this.

(edit) hah y'all motherfuckers thought i wouldn't update. y'all being like, my brain and my anxiety and the people at school who don't even know this exists. i'm lonely and still on too many painkillers. fuck off. also this story is going in a weird direction i hadn't planned but now i really ship some characters and i just want something happy in my life. welcome to my mental breakdown put online for anyone and everyone to see. 

also this chapter wasn't edited, i have a plan of sorts, school is quite literally kicking my ass so like idk when the next chapter will be up, enjoy what is basically a shitpost written like a story below. 

- - - - 

"Would you all come with me?" Laura asked somewhat politely, not making it sound like she was angry. Tired, definitely. But not angry, which was a huge plus.

We had hardly finished eating when she beckoned us. I hated the looks we continued to get from other tables, but I was getting used to it. This whole ordeal had been a big thing around camp. I'd overheard a couple of younger campers telling another camper that their own bags had been checked. Though nothing had been found, they were still worried. I was worried, too. They'd found things in my friends' bags that I knew for a fact hadn't been there before.

"You still have his coat?" Roami asked, winking at me as we left the building. It was nice out. It had stopped raining sometime in the night but it was still wet and dewey. The perfect weather. I loved it.

I nodded, rolling the sleeves up so they were forced to stay just above my hands. Roami laughed and surprisingly didn't say anything. I'd expected at least as much from her. Everyone kept giving me looks or side comments about Theo and the hoodie. It wasn't anything that had to do with them and it made me happy so I wasn't very concerned with what they thought. I wished I could completely stop caring about what people said or thought, but I wasn't that good at not caring.

"Since we have found nothing in your things, nothing in your cabin, etcetera, etcetera," Laura started, rolling her hand as she talked for emphasis, "We'll be giving you your things back as well as access to your cabin."

We all clapped and shouted excitedly, looking at each other to make sure this was really happening. At least, that's why I was looking at Zaila. She jumped up and down enthusiastically, holding my arms and looking at me with wide eyes. "This is amazing!" She shouted happily. I laughed and nodded.

"Definitely."

Laura even cracked a smile while she watched us rejoice, standing by the open door to our cabin. Jango joined us shortly after we all went inside and got back into the comfort we'd been in before. It really felt like we were finally home again. It was almost the end of July, which meant we only had a little while longer to stay here. Soon we'd be at our own real homes with our families, going to church and school like before. I hadn't decided yet if I was going to pretend like I wasn't me when I got home or not. I had a couple of friends who were accepting and knew me better as Danny than Jessica, but most everyone thought of me as Jessie or Jessica. I couldn't decide what the best course of action was.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Cody asked, falling onto one of the lower bunks. None of us were in the same bunks we'd been in before except for Jango. She must have just kept her things here. The bunk that Emerson had chosen was still empty and despite us all moving around, no one wanted to take it. It felt wrong to leave it empty, but it felt even more wrong to let someone else take it.

"I'm so glad we don't have to sleep on cold concrete anymore!" Zaila announced. Out of all of us I think she was taking it the worst sleeping in the rec room. At least we could all find sleep while there. She was impossible to help.

After a moment of just sitting in silence, comfortable with each other and where we were at, Roami stood up from her bed. She'd put her things on one of the island bunks, but she was laying on a bottom bunk with Cody. We all continued to sit on thee bottom bunks despite all of our belongings sitting on the top bunks above us.

"What's the plan for today?" She asked, looking to Laura and Jango.

"We've got lots of little activities set up; rustic fishing, black smithing of sorts, arts and crafts, nature hike, survival techniques in the woods," Jango started to list off, looking at the ceiling while she tapped her fingers, counting as she went. Laura looked at her with a proud smile, listening as she continued. "So basically anything you can think of that has to do with the outdoors and other sorts of summer camps. We'll probably start grouping at ten. . . which is in twenty minutes."

Only twenty minutes to ten. The day had already flown by. I'd picked up on the fact that breakfast was put out at eight, sometimes seven-forty, and we'd left before it was ended which was around nine-ish depending on how slow or fast the group would eat. How had we spent so much time in our cabin?

Chrissie giggled. "What's 'rustic fishing'?"

"Fishing that's rustic," I answered before thinking. "Pay attention," I added, laughing with the others. Chrissie rolled her eyes and flipped me off but otherwise left me alone.

We stayed another minute before going to the main meeting area that we'd been in with Adam before. A couple staggering bits of the other groups were waiting, some sitting and others just talking in small groups. I disregarded Laura and the group, walking over to Amy and Jordan.

"Hey," Jordan broke away from an argument he and Amy were having to greet me. Amy put her hand on my shoulder but didn't turn away from Jordan.

"You're so stupid if you think that!" She practically shouted, laughing emptily. Jordan gasped. I had no idea what they were going on about, but it was pretty amusing. Especially since no one else was talking loud enough for anyone else to hear. They were the loudest two people here. But no one was doing anything about it, and they didn't seem to really be disrupting anybody, so it continued without hesitation.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning to see Theo. He smiled and watched Jordan and Amy with a grin. Rhonnie was sitting in the grass, twirling her finger around a flower she'd found. There were lots of wild flowers here.

"What's the issue now?" He whispered, still smiling.

I shook my head and looked down. "Dunno," I answered, knowing the answer was useless.

Instead of speaking low like he had to me, he shouted, "Ames! Jordan! What's the matter this time?" It sounded like this had happened before. At least a couple times.

They both turned their attention to him, their eyes shifting from his face to his arm around my shoulder to his face again. I looked towards another small group sitting in the grass, hiding my smile from Jordan and Amy. They smiled nervously at me, pausing their conversation to look at the suddenly quiet Amy and Jordan beside us. It was now silent. No other groups were talking.

"What's wrong?" Theo tried again. That resulted in them both shouting over each other. Theo laughed like a parent watching their children fight for attention. In all honesty, that's what it reminded me of most. They were both competing for his attention now, not fighting with each other so directly.

I couldn't make anything they were saying out and instead tried to pretend like I couldn't feel the eyes of my friends on me. I turned, looking past Theo at them. Only Roami was looking at me. She smiled slyly and sent a chill up my spine. I didn't like how she looked. I prayed I'd never do anything to make her upset because while I knew that smile was a good one right now, I knew it could be one that sent a lot of venom.

"Right, so most of you are here. That's good enough," Chloe said, clapping her hands together and smiling like she wouldn't see tomorrow. I hadn't seen a whole lot of her but I liked her nonetheless.

We grouped up easily, most everyone seeming to know what they wanted to do.

"Come with me," Zaila urged, pulling my arm. It didn't take a lot for her to get me over to Chloe's group. She was fishing. She smiled at us each, looking over my shoulder at a couple of people who still hadn't chosen. "I wanna fish but not alone," she explained casually. I laughed and shrugged. It didn't matter much to me. I didn't particularly like fishing, but I didn't mind going with her. It would just be another chance to relax some more.

We stood with Chloe, who looked pleased to see us. She voiced her pleasure by saying, "Glad to see you're all together again." Her attention was taken by Charlie, bringing her away from the small group. Everyone else around us looked just as awkward as I was, Zaila being the most outgoing in the group. She stood tall, smiling at anyone who turned to look at her.

"This should be fun," she finally spoke again as we departed from the other groups. I couldn't help but look back at Theo's group, which Carlos had joined, standing beside Jordan and Amy. They'd stopped arguing. That was good. I didn't like it when they fought. Or really when anyone fought.

I nodded, walking closely beside her. Zaila had initially scared me, and continued to at points, but she felt like just another person I could trust strongly. She was comforting. Just not in the way I was looking for right now.

"You good?" She asked as we turned onto a narrow and steep trail. Chloe wasn't carrying anything but a small cloth bag. "You look weird."

I laughed. "Weird?"

She nodded. "Weird."

"Is that a good thing or. . . or not?" I asked, holding my arms out in a way to brace myself for falling. I knew it wouldn't do a whole lot if I did fall down the rocky path, which seemed to be getting worse and worse as I moved, but it was fine. I felt more secure knowing I at least had enough faith in myself to think I could actually save myself.

Zaila was following me down the path. We were the last people to go down, and since I was going so slow, we were falling behind. I could see Chloe and another girl with white hair jump to the bottom from a sort of high spot, continuing calmly down the trail that disappeared into the trees.

"Come on, Dan. Could you go any slower?" She asked, sounding only a tad bit pissed off.

I laughed nervously, feeling my foot shift uncomfortably over a rock that wasn't as stable as I had planned on it being. "Yeah," I nodded. "Want me to?"

"No."

I laughed and nodded, trying to will myself to scale down the hill faster. I thought I was going at a pretty good pace, but every time I turned around to check on Zaila, she was standing and watching me with a bored look. She was like a fucking mountain goat or some shit, just standing and watching me like it was nothing to maneuver a hill like this.

When we finally reached the bottom, the last kid in the group was almost gone. I turned around and watched Zaila finish the drop by putting one foot over the edge of a rock and tipping forward just enough to fall forward. She landed with a small thud and smiled at me, continuing to walk without issue.

It wasn't a far walk from there. We caught up quickly, talking on and off about random things as they came up.

Chloe was setting out sticks she and the others had picked up, laying out eight that were long and thin, but thick enough not to snap if someone managed to actually catch something in the still pond. She stood with her hands on her hips, proud of herself, and waited for us to join quietly before explaining that these were the fishing poles, she had fishing line for us to use, as well as bait and hooks.

"Well shit, you weren't kidding when you said rustic," some kid commented, looking with wide eyes at the fishing poles and occasional rocks around the secluded pond. The pond was tiny. I could see across to the other end without issue; there was a crow pecking around for food, hopping to move instead of walking or flying.

Chloe shook her head, picking up one of the eight 'fishing poles' and beginning to tie it around one end of the stick. We all began to mimic her, creating our own fishing lines. They ranged from having bright yellow string to bright blue to neon pink. Zaila stabbed the end without the fishing line in it into the dirt and stepped back, looking at her creation with pride. I laughed.

"Don't laugh, you're no better at this than I am," she said quickly. I held my hands up in surrender, lunging forward to snag my pole before it fell into the pond. "Point proven."

I shook my head, smiling against my will, and walked to the edge of the water, sitting down promptly on a rock. Zaila sat beside me on the other luckily-placed rock, swinging her stick wildly.

"Calm down there, sailor!" I laughed, ducking away from her to avoid getting my face stuck in her mess. She swung it around a couple more times before throwing it out at the water, letting it land lamely. After seeing her so frantic about it. it was almost a letdown how calmly it splashed, hardly even causing any ripples.

A couple kids who stood and looked rather serious about the event looked over and scowled. Zaila smiled widely and absurdly, making my face go red almost immediately. I wished sometimes that she would just calm down a little bit and just stop being so. . . out there? I don't know. I just wished she wouldn't attract so much attention to us all the time.

"Sometimes I forget this is a straight camp," she spoke after a minute.

"Yeah?" I did too, honestly. It was so much like a normal summer camp. I was having a hard time remembering who I was going to have to pretend to be when I went home and how I was going to have to act. How I would have to go back to being someone else. Suddenly I didn't really like being here. 

What was the point of being here and happy if it was just going to go back home at the end of the summer and be where I was before? 

I set the makeshift pole on the ground between Zaila and I before standing up and dusting my pants off. She looked up at me with a mix of shock and curiosity. She laughed, though, and looked back at the water. "Where're you off to?" 

I shrugged and turned around, walking back up the path I'd gone on before. Zaila called out once to me, but no one looked away from their own projects. While I was leaving, one of them had managed to actually catch a fish. That gathered everyone's attention and let me leave quietly and easily. 

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