Choo choo the angst train is here choo choooooooooo
The next week of school hurt more than the rest. I didn't want everyone to know. I didn't want people to take Johns death and try to make something good for themselves out of it. I didn't want someone trying to take his place. I didn't want victims to be celebrating. I just wanted it to be quiet, and it was. But the quiet in the eye of the hurricane only lasts for so long before the hurricane hits again.
Teachers were ignorant. Students were ignorant. Everyone was ignorant. People began to find out, when they did, I was the first person that came to people's mind. As I walked the hallways, I would hear apologies and voices of pity. Some people were obviously just trying to fake it. Everyone else is apologizing to me, so why don't you do it and maybe people will think your nice, then they can just go and replace what they've lost. If you don't mean an apology, then don't say it. It was just that simple.
People started showing up to school in black. The girls would wear black skirts, pants, and even dresses. The guys would just wear plain black shirts and pants. People would gather around Johns locker every morning. They stuck things onto his locker. They taped on letters and posters, gave the locker flowers, and would just silently stare at it. Even when walking down the hallway, people would reach their hand out just to touch it. None of these people were close to John, most of them probably hate him, and were happy that he was finally out of their lives. They were faking all of it. They were just stupid.
Eliza - A-Alexander! There you are!
Alex - What do you mean? Why would YOU care where I am?!
Angelica - W-we just-
Alex - Listen you two, I've sneaked glances at you from time to time. I can see that you're trying to ignore me and you're giving me those dirty glances of yours! You think you can just come crawling back to me, just because John died? We may not have been boyfriends, but we were best friends!
Angelica - T-that's-
Alex - Just go away.
They replaced John in the school play. Some tall ass named Jake Dillinger. He didn't deserve Johns part. He belonged in the gym, not the theater. But some how, people went through with it. No one gave any second thoughts. Now, not only was I failing assignments. My grade was just going down and down, till it seemed like it couldn't even go down any further.
---
Aaron - Alexander, you're acting like you're fucking depressed!
Alex - Maybe because I just lost my best friend!
Hercules - WELL SO DID WE!!!
The entire lunch room went silent.
Lafayette - We know you and John were close, but you can't even imagine how we feel! Other people are hurting here Alexander! It's not just you!
...
Aaron - Look who's at a loss of words. Cmon guys, we'll see Alexander later when maybe he can think of an apology.
What the quiznak did I just do?!
Well, I know what I did. I totally forgot Lafayette, Hercules, and Aaron were living human beings who cared a lot for John and were there for him a long time before me and I probably wouldn't have even given him a chance if it weren't for them. Damnit, well I guess I'll have to reset my timer to 0 days without a fuck up. Then again, I've never gone one day without fucking up.
There's only one person who I have left.
---
Alex - PEEEEGGGGYYYY
Peggy - I'm not helping you.
Alex - I'm sorry! Okay! I was wrong! I was stupid! And ignorant! And over all, I don't deserve your friendship at all! The only reason I lied was because I wanted to make you happy. And when I found out that I was Johns soulmate-
Peggy - You were Johns soulmate?
Alex - Y-yeah.
Peggy - So...John saw color before he-
Alex - Yeah...
Peggy - What did you say about my friendship again?
Alex - That I didn't deserve it.
Peggy - And....
Alex - And that you're the greatest best friend a loser like me could ever ask for.
Peggy - Hell yeah I am!
Alex - Does that mean?
Peggy - OPERATION LAMS IS BACK IN BUSINESS!!!
Alex - Peggy. He's uh...
Peggy - Oh right. It's a habit.
---
Peggy - You go on in a few minutes! Do you think you can do it?
Alex - I have to do it! It's to late to go back now!
Peggy - Okay...break a leg!
I stood right behind the wall, just a few more steps and I would be visible to the entire audience. I knew almost every word by heart, I was required to come out on to stage after Aaron finished his lines. Johns stuffed dog was tucked into my arms, in a deep and loving embrace. I know he wanted his mom to have it, but she said that I was the one who really deserved it. I guess the dogs name is baby doggy. It was a childish name, but I wasn't gonna change it. You have to admit that it was cute for someone like him to have a toy named baby doggy.
Fuck, stop thinking about him Alexander. It's just gonna make you more upset.
Peggy - Alex! You're on!
I threw the dog to Peggy, knowing I would look ridiculous walking out onto stage with something like that in my hands. I let the song in my heart flow straight through me. The audience and everyone around me seemed impressed with my singing. Looks like those Taylor Swift sessions really paid off. As I passed Aaron on stage, he didn't even bother to stare in my direction. I rolled my eyes and decided to just ignore him for now. We finished the first song soon enough, but we weren't even close to done. I already felt to exhausted to even go on.
There was a part, well, actually a few, where we had to have a duel take place on stage. The first one was between Charles Lee and Jake Dillinger. Jake looked out of place in the song, like he didn't really know where he was going or what he was doing. I simply tried to keep him on track so that I didn't catch his stupid. You know that stuff's contagious. I bet most people here have probably caught the stupid.
As Jake clicked his gun, I heard the gun shot go off. But I'd heard the gun shot in rehearsals before. It sounded different, louder, more realistic. Jake and Aaron started singing, continuing on with the play, while Charles fell to the ground. I couldn't keep thinking about the gun shot, it was probably just louder because it was the real thing this time.
Then I heard it again. This time, it was a little softer, but still loud enough to catch the attention of me and a few audience members. Maybe the audio guy is just gone. Maybe there's someone new on the job and they don't know exactly what they're doing. I kept telling myself so many what ifs, that I didn't even realize what was slowly happening in reality.
The color slowly started to drain from my vision. It started from the top, and slowly, everything I could see became like it was before. Just a black and white world like it had been almost my entire life. I stood there as still as a dead man. Jake gently nudged me from behind, like he thought I was in some sort of trance and I had forgotten where I was. But I knew exactly what was happening, and it wasn't anything good.
Alex - ELIZA!!!!!
I ran off stage at full pace. I didn't bother to look behind me at all. I knew that people around me thought I was insane. And I knew that some might've known the reason I had exited the room. I entered into the main hallway. The school was ginormous, how was I supposed to know where that sound had come from?
Alex - ELIZA?!
Hercules - LAFAYETTE?!
Aaron - THEODOSIA?!
At the four hallway intersection, I was met with the sweaty and frightened faces of Aaron Burr and Hercules Mulligan. Both looked as if they were in the same panic as me. Burr on my left, and Hercules on my right. They both looked disappointed at the sight of me, but I was almost certain all of us were here for the same reason.
Alex - D-did you hear those gun shots too?
Aaron - That's definitely not just the audio! I know something happened to Theo, my vision is still in color, but it's in a dimmer shade. I'm not just being crazy, I know something's wrong!
Alex - So is mine! W- wait Hercules...y-you...you called for Lafayette?
Hercules - W-what no I didn't!
Aaron - HE COULD BE DEAD HERCULES!!! JUST TELL HIM!!!
Hercules - Fine! Lafayette and I were soulmates okay!!
Alex - What?!
Hercules - Why are we wasting time?! Okay! We have to find them!
Alex - Yes, but we're talking about this later!
Hercules - I'm not making any promises!
The four of us sprinted at full speed down the front hallway. Everywhere seemed the same. I felt like I was just going in circles all over. If that gun shot was real, the shooter was probably gone already. Then we saw him, the source of the crime. A dark figure standing at the end of the corridor. He had a dark black trench coat over his shoulders. I couldn't make out much since he had his hood up and I was facing the back side of him. The only thing I saw was that he was holding the limp and bloody hand of
Elizabeth Schuyler