I've been hesitant to post this. I know I'm just setting myself up for someone to point out all the examples of flowery writing in my books... Oh well.
If we're doing an analysis of Cursed Child, we can't overlook some of the more glaring writing blunders. One of the first lessons you learn in any creative writing class is not to pat yourself on the back during the writing process. Do not intrude on a reader's experience with suggestions of how they should feel, especially when it's self-congratulatory. This can happen in a number of ways: having your characters complimenting you in their own dialogue, giving a false impression that the reader has never experienced something as profound as what you're describing, and then those dreaded Little Darlings.
The expression "Kill Your Darlings" is a recommendation for writers to find those perfectly worded, flagrant sentences that made you feel like an amazing writer when you first put them to page. Once you've located these lines, take an axe to the back of their skull, spilling the contaminated blood of their erroneous verbiage to the margins before the infection spreads to the rest of the paragraph, nay the chapter.
Case in point: all that garbage I just wrote.
These self-congratulatory writing habits generally pull the reader out of the narrative and make the author look as if they are so very proud of themselves. I'll list a handful of examples without comment. You should be able to pick up on the absurdity without prompting.
Example 1:
And HERMIONE, RON, GINNY, and DRACO emerge from the doors, and fire up their spells at DELPHI, who screams out in exasperation. This is titanic.
Example 2:
PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: Your solidarity is admirable, but it doesn't make your negligence negligible.
DRACO: Then it's a negligence I, too, should face.
DRACO walks up to the stage and stands beside GINNY. This is almost a Spartacus moment. There are gasps.
Example 3:
HARRY: Poor kid thought he had to save the world.
GINNY: Poor kid has saved the world. That blanket was masterful. I mean, he also almost destroyed the world, but probably best not to focus on that bit.
Example 4:
HARRY: For this plan to work she has to believe it's him, without hesitation. She'll use Parseltongue - and I knew there was a reason why I still have that ability. But more than that, I - know what it is to feel - like him. I know what it is to be him. It has to be me.
RON: Rubbish. Beautifully put, but beautiful rubbish.
Example 5:
HARRY wakes suddenly. Breathing deeply in the night. He waits a moment. Calming himself. And then he feels intense pain in his forehead. In his scar. Around him, Dark Magic moves.
Example 6:
SNAPE: Sometimes costs are made to be borne.
The two look at each other, SNAPE nods, HERMIONE nods back, SNAPE's face crumbles slightly.
I didn't just quote Dumbledore, did I?
HERMIONE (with a smile): No, I'm pretty sure that's pure Severus Snape.
Example 7:
HARRY hears a noise. A hissing noise. And then there is a noise like death - a noise like nothing else we've heard before.
Example 8:
SORTING HAT: Albus Potter.
He puts his hat on ALBUS's head - and this time he seems to take longer - almost as if he too is confused.
SLYTHERIN!
There's a silence. A perfect, profound silence. One that sits low, twists a bit, and has damage within it.
Example 9: (similar to 8)
HARRY: And I told him that there were times when I wished he weren't my son.
There's another silence. A profoundly powerful one. And then DRACO takes a dangerous step towards HARRY.
Example 10:
HARRY: Love blinds. We have both tried to give our sons, not what they needed, but what we needed. We've been so busy trying to rewrite our own pasts, we've blighted their present.
Example 11:
HARRY: I think it's going to be a nice day.
He touches his son's shoulder. And the two of them - just slightly - melt together.
ALBUS (smiles): So do I.
Example 12:
DELPHI/HERMIONE: Oh no.
ALBUS/RON: Hermione. And Dad.
The panic is instant and infectious.
Example 13:
This is chaos. This is magic. This is St. Oswald's Home for Old Witches and Wizards and it is as wonderful as you might hope.
I'll leave it at that. No need to add any other titanic, masterful commentary. My silence, which will be perfect and profound, will also be powerful...and twist a bit. Some may call it a Spartacus moment. Had I said more, your joy would not only be instant and infectious, but it would be as wonderful as you might hope and like nothing else you've heard before.
So, yeah... See you next post.
Feel free to melt together, if only just slightly.