I decided to skip out on writing about Wisconsin for a few reasons. One being I've never been and I do not feel like doing research on what the visited while being there. I know absolutely nothing about the dance recital or what day exactly it was, so that'd be hard too, but please don't be too upset. But hey, I think this chapter is still pretty good...
Enjoy💜
If This Is Love: 20 | Irritated
| Laura Renae |
| Two Weeks Later (June 13th, 2017) |
For the past three days the entire band, plus our main guitar tech Jeff, have been running through our setlist once, then redoing a few songs that we felt were a bit rough and unprepared. Genuinely, we'd be in our rehearsal space from anywhere between 6:00-9:30 at night, sometimes 7:00-10:00 at night. Lately, I've been crashing with Ross at Mark and Stormie's, occasionally the two of us crash at my parents' place, sometimes even my brother and sisters. But mostly Stormie and Mark because Rocky set up a temporary mini studio in the front room and plus, Ry's there.
"Yo, Renae, stop zoning out over there and come in when you're suppose to." The sound of Rocky's voice and my name being me out of my thought and I jerk my head in his direction, seeing a smirk on his face. Sighing, I take out my right in-ear.
"Hundred bucks she's thinking about Ross." Rydel then chimes in.
"Give whoever you bet a hundred bucks because I wasn't thinking about Ross." I tell her.
"Ouch." I hear Ross mumble into his mic. Before I could even apologize for my somewhat rude remark towards Rydel, mostly for Ross because he seamed genuinely upset, Riker's loud and over exaggerated groan goes through the mic and into my single in-ear that I had shoved in my ear. Just like everyone else, we always kept a single in ear in our ear between songs to hear the feedback or whatever.
"Quit being dramatic, Riker. We literally just got here." Rydel tells him, shoving her in-ear back in.
"And somehow we already have donuts and Starbucks, again." I chuckle a little at Riker's frustration. He's a little tuff when it comes to rehearsal, but I think that's a good thing considering we need some structure here.
"From the top, and remember to come in, bean." Ross says. Not even five minutes later, all of us are doing our down thing. Ross is folded in half on the floor while on his laptop, Riker was over talking with Jeff, Rocky was messing with his foot panel, I was trying to figure out the damn cords to Trading Time so I could nail it without being uncertain or looking, Rydel was scrolling through her phone while sitting on her stool, and Ellington was messing around on Ross' guitar.
Groaning, I give up and take my other in-ear out, walking behind Rydel and heading to Ross. He was on his knees with one elbow propped up and holding his chin up while the other scrolled through whatever he was looking at, if that made any sense. Nonetheless, he looked cute. -(picture that one r5tv when rocky gave him a wedgie and he was laying like that)- Without warning, I go on my knees and lay my stomach on top of him, wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Whatcha doing?" I ask him. Before he could even answer me, Rydel awes from behind me.
"Aw, look at how cute you two are." And that's when I knew she was filming us. "Just the cutest of the cutest." Rolling my eyes, I get off Ross and stand up, giving her my best, I'm not impressed look.
"You better not be putting that anywhere." I say, growing serious. The last R6TV we had of us in the studio, she literally almost kept a clip of Ross and I kissing behind her while she was filming herself. If it wasn't for me helping her with the process for once, Ross and I would've been public, and I do not want that right now.
"I'm not. I'm done with rehearsal footage." She replies, putting her phone down by her side. "Do you need help with Trading Time?" She asks me. "I had Rocky help me yesterday and he showed me a pit of your part so we can play together and mess around with it if we want." She tells me.
"Yes. Please." I mutter, already heading back to my keys. Do the next twenty-five minutes, Rydel and I nailed down a solid double key part for Trading Time. Then, the next half hour after that was spent solidifying vocals in the corner for Lay Your Head Down, Smile, I Know You Got Away and Wild Hearts. Okay, every time we went through twenty seconds of each song once, except Lay Your Head down considering it was the newest one, but it still took forever. And now, it was nearly ten o'clock on a Tuesday night and I was tired.
"Anyone up for some food?" Rocky asks as we all leave our rehearsal space. "I'm starving and there's a in-n-out a few streets away." He adds.
"Wait, but I have to get back to my laptop. I have an assignment due tonight at midnight that I'm almost done with, Rocky." I tell him, grabbing onto his arm. "I need to go home." He drove Ross and I here, meaning he's my only ride back. I'm out of the way if I go with Rydellington, who actually agreed to going out, and I'm out of the way for Riker who also agreed to go out.
"Chill, bean. It's only ten o'clock, you'll have plenty of time when we get back." Ross tells me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I duck from under his embrace, not in the mood for his cutesy shit. Not right now, Laura. Your education is more important. Plus he's been weird all night and this is the first sign of affection. But for now, we're irritated.
"No, I have to go back. By the time you'll be done eating, it'll be well after eleven, and then the ride back to Mark and Stormie's is like a half hour. I'd have like ten minutes to work on it. I'm sorry, but that won't fly with me. I won't get it in on time and I'll get an incomplete and my overall grade in that class will drop, Ross." I explain to him.
"It won't take that long to order food and eat it." He tells me. "And maybe you shouldn't of waited until the last minute to do it." I could tell he was partially teasing, but I also knew he was being more serious. And truth is, I didn't wait until the last minute. I've been insanely busy with other assignments so I could stay ahead and take my finals early, but I also have band rehearsals and memorizing new harmonies and anything music related I can't get done during rehearsals. I even have my own personal acting career that's been getting me busy with new auditions and new photo shoots.
"Look, we'll order our food and leave." Rocky tells me. Shaking my head, I pull out my phone and click on my Uber app.
"No, I'm sorry, but that still won't cut it. I'll just Uber home, go eat." I mumble, already typing in Mark and Stormie's address and my current location.
"Laura, just come eat." E says, grabbing onto my shoulder.
"Eff off, Ellington. You're not helping." I tell him. He holds his hands up in surrender and takes a few steps back, acting like what I did was just some big joke. What is happening tonight?
"You sure?" Ross asks.
"Yes, just go before... just go." Finally, as if my instructions was the most confusing thing on earth, they walk away from me and into their cars. I watch as Rydel and Ellington both pull onto the road, then Ross and Rocky, and then Riker, leaving me to stand against the wall of a building in the dark, waiting for my Uber.
As soon as I got back to Mark and Stormie's, I took Vader from Ryland's room so he could go to the bathroom, then said goodnight to Mark and Stormie who were watching tv in their bedroom, then took Vader back to Ryland's room where him and Kelsey were, saying goodnight to them as well. I went to the bathroom and changed into my normal pajama shorts and t-shirt, my own t-shirt this time just to make Ross mad (because he's been pissing me off since the beginning of rehearsals), and do my usual nighttime routine. Once my glasses were on my face and my teeth and face were clean, I head back to the bedroom the two boys and I share.
In our room is three full sized beds, Rocky in one and Ross and I share one, but tonight... I'm going to the currently unoccupied bed to see if Ross gets the hint that I'm a little pissed at him, even if it was over something he'll think is stupid. Nonetheless, I grab my laptop and begin my assignment. Basically, it was a mini quiz sheet that I had to fill out along with a quick homework type assignment, both due at midnight. I had already completed the quiz a few days ago, but I had yet to finish this homework worksheet which I have to before I could turn it in.
The homework consisted on riding yet another article for a value theory, take notes on said article, and answer some questions. It was interesting, I'll give it that, but it was past eleven at night and I was completely exhausted. So I knew my work wasn't my best, but I was almost done. Well, until I heard voices and a door opening, and more voices. Groaning, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, not prepared for Ross and Rocky to walk in and ruin my concentration. If I don't get this turned in on time... I will have a panic attack.
"Night!" I hear Rocky shout.
"Bro, if she's sleeping, I call not waking her up to finish her assignment." I hear Ross' muffled voice. Rolling my eyes, I don't bother looking up as the boys open the door and turn on the light. I do, however, squint. "Shit, you're still up." I just nod my head. "Why are you in that bed?" He asks me. I shush him, needing to focus.
"Damn." Rocky whispers. "Guess we'll go brush our teeth then." Again, I don't reply. I wait for them to leave before letting out a sigh. It took them awhile to come back in, and I had two short answer questions left and it was inching closer and closer to 11:50pm, and I could feel my heartbeat quicken with every minute that passed by. "I'm turning off the light. Go ahead and turn on a lamp if you need to." Rocky says, shutting the light off. Ross turns the lamp on beside our bed, but he walks over to the bed I'm on.
"Why are we sleeping in this bed tonight?" He asks.
"We aren't." I snap, keeping my eyes glued to the screen.
"Okay, well you're clearly upset with me." He mutters, sitting down on top of the covers like I am.
"Shut up." I breathe out.
"Are you almost done?" He asks me.
"Shut up." I repeat. I hear him sigh beside me and for a second, a second, I feel guilty. But then I look at the time and panic all over again, picking up my typing speed. And let me tell you, when I hit the submit button, it was 11:56pm, and I completely sink down in the bed, my eyes closing and let out a deep breath. "Thank god." I whisper, all my worry washing away. For a few minutes, I just lay here, enjoying the quietness, thankful that I turned the assignment in on time. That is, until Ross speaks up.
"Maybe next time you won't wait until the last minute." I hear Ross mumble.
"That right there, is exactly why I'm sleeping in this bed tonight, alone." I tell him, making eye contact.
"Shit." Rocky laughs. I whip my head towards him, seeing his head up and eyes on us.
"Come outside with me." Ross whispers, causing my head to whip back to his. "You and I made a promise to try and work out our problems before we go to bed angry with each other. And right now, it seams like you're... something with me and honestly, I don't know what I did, so please come outside with me so we can talk." He keeps his voice low, speaking slowly without breaking eye contact. Damn it, he's right. Nodding at his words, I wait for Ross to get out of bed before grabbing onto his outstretched hands to help me up. He kept ahold of one of my hands as he guides me to the sliding glass door, taking me out into the backyard. "What did I do?" He immediately asks, gripping my shoulders to hold me in place.
"Try and think about what happened tonight, Ross." I calmly tell him, looking up at his face. He furrows his eyebrows before releasing my shoulders with a twisted groan.
"Can you please just tell me? Because all I can think of is you being the rude one." And at those words, I knew what he meant.
"Well, I wasn't actually thinking about you, Ross. I mean, you were apart of the thought, but you weren't the main focus." I tell him. "But... the way I answered was a bit rude, so I'm sorry for that. I meant to say sorry earlier but you all didn't give me a chance."
"That doesn't help me out, Laura. You're still upset with me." He mumbles.
"I wouldn't say I'm upset, I'm irritated with you more than anything." Ross' shoulders sag down as he rubs his entire face with his hands a little harshly, another groan escaping his mouth as he does so.
"Laura, please, you're making me frustrated!" He whines.
"First off, after that comment I made, you rarely talked to me. I kissed your cheek, you didn't say anything. And after that, when we circled up to work on harmonies, not once did you look at me. Now that stuff, I could've looked past and completely understood that you were focused and trying to get work done, but what happened after rehearsals was what really pissed me off, Ross. First off, you told me not to worry about my assignment, saying I have plenty of time, when I barely got it in on time with the time I did have. And after that comment, you told me maybe I shouldn't of waited until the last minute. Guess what, I didn't wait until the last minute. I've had so much going on with this damn band and with my own acting career that I can't just, reschedule for a more convenient time. I also can't do that with school." I explain to him.
"But you're always doing school, Laura. We've been dating not even month and every time neither of us aren't busy, you have to do homework. So guess what I'm stuck doing? Sitting beside you while you do school work because I like being with you. You always have a shit ton of lessons or essays or whatever the hell you have, and I'm honestly bored out of my mind." I narrow my eyes at him.
"I'm only doing a shit ton of lessons or essays or whatever the hell I have, because I'm trying to take my finals early so I'm not doing school during Saving Zoe. You know that, Ross. The whole fucking band knows that. And I'm not here for your entertainment. And we do spend time together, so I don't even understand what you mean by that." I mutter the last sentence.
"We don't spend alone time together, Laura. I'd like to have you to myself every once in awhile, maybe go out on a date or just plain old cuddle without having any family around. Three weeks in and I already feel like I'm getting the shit end of the stick. It makes me realize that we use to hang out more when we were best friends and not in a relationship ship." My eyes widen at his words.
"So you want to break up?" I ask him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"No, I'm just making a point." He replies.
"Babe, I don't know what to tell you." I whisper. "School is important to me, and I'm just trying to take my finals early so I don't have to be doing school during Saving Zoe and possibly the European tour." I slowly explain, hoping he'd get it through his head that he's not the only important thing in my life. "Please understand that." I whisper. "I love you, I really do, Ross, and I know I've been kinda busy, but I can't help it." Ross sighs, rubs his face again, and takes a step forward to wrap his arms around my shoulders, shoving me into his chest. Smiling the slightest, I wrap my arms around his torso and squeeze him. "I'm sorry." I mumble into his bare chest.
"I'm sorry, too." He tells me, planting a kiss in my hair before resting his cheek on the top of my head. "I've been kind of an asshole lately." He adds. "I just want to spend time with you and tour is next week, bean. No alone time will happen." He whispers.
"Babe, I'm going with you to the film festival here and in San Francisco, meaning the day after the Arkansas show we fly back and have five days to be with you alone." I tell him.
"But I'll be somewhat busy doing press and going to the event." He sighs at the end. "But its better than nothing." He murmurs.
• first raura fight? and second longest chapter? (the longest being the first one ever) hope you enjoyed this one because it took no time to write 😂 it was fun and flowed out of me. don't forget to vote, comment something sweet, and follow me! love you, babes💜 •
So... why have the comments gotten so low???
-rydelly_belly💜