Mark's Point of View.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The only sound that was heard through out the room was the sound of the heart montior. The sound of her heart thumping and thumping. It was a beautiful sound, but right now it was a haunting sound. It felt like hours when she finally opened her eyes, the dull gray color looking around the room confused, but most of all scared. She couldn't remember why she was in here that point was obvious by the way she looked around the creme colored room. She was shaking, her hands trembling as she tried to sit up against the bed but stopped when she realized her wrists were wrapped up in gauze.
"Here.. Let me help you", Jesse spoke quietly and carefully. He stepped around from Ryan and walked over to her, his tear strained face twisted in pain as he went and helped her sit up. Anybody in the room could see how she wanted to pull away from his touch, but she was too afraid to speak.
Sighing out slowly, I walked over to her bed side and pulled up a chair right beside her bed. I reached over to take her hand but stopped when I saw her push her hands away and under the covers of the sheets. Looking up to look at her, she had her head bend down with her red hair covering her face. I wanted to comfront her and wrap her up in my arms to keep her safe from everything and anything she was afraid of. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, but I knew deep inside me that she wouldn't believe it. She'll start to deny the right of having happiness and joy in her life. She would repeat all the hurtful words her mother screamed at her as she grew up. In her eyes, she was the worthless girl that wasn't meant to be brought into this world.
"Sage, sweetheart, do you know why you're in here?" Ryan asked a few moments later. He walked over to the oppsite side of her bed and reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. He was about to say something when Sage shoved his hand off her.
"I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore", she said, her voice soft and low that it was almost hard for any of us to understand what she said.
"You aren't allowed to go home yet, Sage. You tried to k..kill yourself a few hours ago they're not going to let you leave this hospital for a while." Jesse said, forcing the words to come out of his mouth. He had in tears in eyes as he looked at Sage, his already bloodshot eyes getting wetter and wetter as he stared at her.
Sage said nothing as she ignored his words. She lifted her head up and turned to look at me, her dull colored eyes brighting just a tad bit when she noticed it was me by her side. Forcing a smile to cross my lips I reached over and wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. Immeditaly she wrapped her arms around me and began to cry, her tiny body trembling in my arms as she did.
"Why? Why would you do that to yourself, Sage?" I asked her, my voice almost coming out in a whisper. I pulled back from the hug and reached up to take her banaged wrists into my hands. I stared down at the gauze that covered her wrists, my fingers absentmindly rubbing along the white material as I waited for an answer. "Is it that bad that you want to take your own life?"
When I didn't get an answer I looked up to look at her. She had a blank and off look to herself. Her gray eyes despite from just crying looked dull and lifeless. Her once bright red hair is now faded into an orange color. Her skin was paler than usually and the bags underneath her eyes were visible. She looks like she was literally on the verge of losing her sanity.
I was about to open my mouth once again but stopped when I noticed something flicker in her eyes. Her gray eyes igniting as she pulled away from my hold and looked at me. She had a frown on her face as she looked from me to the others in the room. I was prepared to listen to her start complaining about going home once again, but was surpirsed when she began to speak about herself.
"I can't take it anymore. I can't take being in this world, a world where I know I'm not wanted. I look at myself and I wonder why I'm here. What purpose do I have being on this planet? What's the point of being here when I have no one. My.. My own dad left me", she started off, but stopped for a split second. After regaining her voice she began once more. "My own mother blamed me for his abandonment. She beat me, belted me, and burned me. Her boyfriend did things to me as I laid there and took it. Y..You don't understand the pain I have been through. Everything I do to myself is for a reason. I just want to be alone. I want to be by myself, but being alone is the only thing I know how to do."
I stared at her. I couldn't say anything. What do you say to something like that? Sage has been through more than I can possibly ever think and having her confess some of her feelings was hard to listen to. She has been alone. The day I left her she was alone for all those months. Ever since her dad left her she was alone with her mother and that basterd of her mother's boyfriend. I can't blame her for wanting to end her life.
"You have us, Sage. You're not alone anymore. You have myself and Jesse. Alexander is there as well and so is Mark. You don't have to be alone not anymore", Ryan said, speaking his thoughts.
Sage let out a humorless laugh, her eyes falling over to me. "I'm not alone anymore. Tell them how much of a joke that is Mark. You left me once before it's only a matter of time before you leave again. Ryan and Jesse are going to get tired of me really soon and they are going to send me away", she started, her head then turning to look at Alexander who standing in the corner of the room. "And Alexander is nothing but an asshole! I don't want any of you here! Do you not understand that? I want to be alone. I want to be in peace!" She yelled, tears now streaming down her face.
"Sage.." Ryan said as he took steps towards her. He tried to take her hands but Sage stopped him by pushing his hands away. When he tired to grab her again she began to freak out and lash out. She brought her hands and began to bang them against his chest, trying to push him away. "Sage! Sage, calm down!" He tried to reason with her.
"No! Stop! Just leave me alone! You should have left me to die!" She shouted, her body now struggling against Ryan's hold.
"Call the doctor in now! She needs to calm down!" Ryan shouted.
Within seconds I was out of the seat and out the door calling for any nurse or doctor that was around. When I got the doctor's attention I told him what was happening and in seconds he was rushing into Sage's room barking orders around. I chose to stand outside in the room and watch from the door. The way the nurses and Ryan held her struggling body to the bed was hard to see. When the doctor injected her to calm her down that was when I had enough. I stood long enough to see her body slowly relax onto the bed and gray eyes close before I decided to shut the door in front of me.
"She went back to sleep." I heard someone say after a few minutes of me leaning against the hospital wall.
Turning my head I came into view with a tired looking Alexander. Not bothering to answer him I just nodded my head and turned away to continue to stare at the clock that hung on the wall. I didn't want to talk to anyone not for the rest of the night that Sage will be here. What she had said eariler about being alone and how everyone leaves her was right. I did leave her and she was alone. I should have taken her with me, but what was an eighteen year old going to do with a fifteen year old. It was better for her to stay behind where someone was looking after her. I couldn't allow her to be around on the streets. I just couldn't allow that to happen. I wanted to visit her so many times, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to leave without her.
"It's been a long night, dude. Why don't you go on ahead and head on home. I'm sure my dad or Jesse will call you if anything were to happen to Sage", Alexander said.
"No, I'm fine. I don't want to leave her alone.. Not anymore", I replied.
"Suit yourself. I need a break", he said before he walked off.
Knowing there was nothing I could do right now but wait I decided to follow him out of the hospital for some fresh air. The night air felt nice when I walked outside. The hospital room was hot and clumy so I was glad to be outside for a bit. When Alexander offered out his pack of cigarettes and lighter I took them. Placing one of the cigarettes in my mouth and lighting it up I then handed back him things.
"Thanks," I mumbled, exhaling some of the smoke through my lips.
We stood in silence as we smoked the cigarettes. It wasn't awkward but the tension was lingering around the air. I wanted to ask him a few things about Sage and her time living with them, but I didn't want to cause any more trouble for anybody tonight. I would ask some other time.
"What's your story with Sage?" He suddenly asked out of the blue.
"What?" I asked him like I hadn't heard him. I dropped the cigarette down to the floor and put it out with my foot.
"You heard me. What's your story with Sage. She often mentioned your name once in a while so I want to know what's the story between you and her. Obviously she likes you where as to us, she completely freaks out", he said, throwing and putting out the cigarette.
"Listen, it doesn't matter what story Sage and I have. I'm just glad she's back in my life after being apart for a while. When I found her on the streets all torn and afaird I took her into my house. There's nothing more that you have you know about us. If you want to know about us then ask her. I'd rather keep all that to myself. What I want to know is what's her story with you guys. She told me she hasn't had it easy since she moved in with you three guys. So please explain that to me. If any of you have hurt her.. I swear.."
"Shut the hell up. If you're not going to say anything about you and Sage then you better know damn well that I won't be saying crap about us. She's been livinig with us for a while and things have been fine. Sure some things weren't as good, but things get better in time. So let's just drop it", he said, cutting me off in the middle of my sentence.
Feeling something was off about him I let him be. I didn't want to stir any trouble with him not without knowing what's the story between them and Sage. Choosing to leave him alone I headed back inside to check up on Sage. I walked down the halls of the hospital until I reached her room. I knocked once before I headed inside and saw Jesse and Ryan, both standing by the foot of the bed.
"Hey. I wanted to see if she was okay", I explained to Jesse and Ryan. Shutting the door, I walked over to her side and took the seat I had left behind eariler. Reaching over I took her hand and held it with mine as I stared at her. "She looks peaceful."
Jesse chuckled lightly as he walked over to her side and took her other hand. He used his free hand to brush aside her faded color hair away from her face. "She is. I've never seen someone so calm while they slept", he said as he stared down at Sage.
"Jesse, why don't we leave Mark here with Sage for a while? You look like you're about to drop dead. Let's head to the cafe across the street and grab some coffees. I promise we'll come back, baby." Ryan said as he walked over and stood behind Jesse, his hands pulling him into his chest. 'Do you mind, Mark?" He asked me, looking straight at me.
Shaking my head, I answered. "No, that's okay. Take your time. I'll be here for her." Offering them a reassuring smile, I watched them leave the room together. Turning my attention back to Sage, I sighed before I brought her pale hand to my lips and kissed it. "Oh Sage. I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm sorry for leaving you, baby. I'm so sorry."
I held her hand tightly in mine throughout the rest of the night. I made myself comfortable on the chair and decided to stare at her as she slept. Eventually the exhaustion I've been feeling all day caught up with me because not even a few minutes later I was falling asleep, my hand still holding onto hers.
______ Finally an update. Yes, I know this new chapter is kinda boring and whatnot but I couldn't really think of anything to write. I'm sorry for the wait, but I do want to thank you for the patience and support you all have given me! Thanks for the lovely comments! Those always bring a smile on my face! Thank you loads! If anybody ever wants to chat or just talk to hesitate to message me! I do have a Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, & Instagram. :D Just ask for any of those and I"ll give them to you. :D
Lastly, do any of you watch anime or read manga? I'm a huge fan of both so I'm hoping that maybe some of you that watch or read might have any recommendations? Right now I'm watching Naruto and a few others, but I'm open to anything! I'm reading Vampire Knight and Say I Love You but really anything you guys want to recommend I'm open for suggestions. Thank you loads! Take care!