This part 2 to the latest Kookiemonster as I was asked if I wanted to make a part 2 :) (http://my.w.tt/UiNb/bjO8hYWf7F)
Kookie woke up in Namjoon's arms. He was naked and pressed against his boyfriend. He knew Jungkook and Namjoon had had sex. He felt jealousy spread in his body like poisen. It darken his heart and his mind became clouded. A little after Namjoon opened his eyes smiling at Kookie. Even though Kookie wanted to smile back and kiss him, he simply couldn't. His expression was sad and he was hurt.
"Morning Kookie, is something wrong?" Namjoon asked and tilted his head slightly.
"Nothing is wrong." Kookie said, his voice sort of twisted with jealousy and sadness. Namjoon frowned but before he could say anything, Kookie was moving away from him. He got up and took some clothes before walking out. As he was getting dressed, Namjoon walked out to him in the bathoom. He was still naked but his expression wasn't shy at all.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" Namjoon asked again. Kookie took a deep breath and put on a fake smile.
"I'm fine. Sorry, I just thought I was late." Kookie said and kissed Namjoon's lips gently. Namjoon seemed to buy it and visibly relaxed. They got dressed and the day went on as it always did.
The next days flew by and before Kookie knew it, three weeks had gone by. Jungkook hardly ever appeared, he was half embarrassed about the sex part and Kookie's jealousy was in play too. Only a few times Kookie let his guards down and Jungkook would appear in the night. Namjoon and him would talk and kiss. It broke Kookie a little everytime. He nearly missed the times Jungkook was mean to him. Not that he wanted Namjoon to get hurt but at least then, Namjoon was only his. Now he had to share him with Jungkook. Namjoon looked so loving when he talked about Jungkook and Kookie thought it might be because it was like in the beginning of a new relationship. Though it wasn't new and Kookie hated seeing it.
One evening they were standing in the kitchen cleaning the dishes together. Kookie was feeling satisfied as they had had sex before dinner and it made him feel relaxed. They still did it but not as much as they used to. Jungkook hadn't appeared in four days, so Kookie was feeling extra good.
"You know Jungkook rarely comes out these days. I wish he would come out more often." Namjoon said as he dried off a plate. Kookie felt his heart sink, as he heard it. It wasn't the first time Namjoon said something like that. At least once every two days, he would say he wanted Jungkook to come out. It was like a stab directly in his heart every time. He felt like he wasn't enough for Namjoon anymore. Though he smiled and tried to brush it off him.
"I guess he just dosn't feel like it." Kookie said, knowing well enough that wasn't true. Jungkook was inside him, wanting to talk to him. Kookie tried to keep him inside him, he didn't want them together. His jealousy was way bigger than his need to fulfill Jungkook's needs.
"It seems weird though." Namjoon commented and Kookie ignored it and continuted to clean. When they were done, they cuddled up on the couch, Kookie enjoying the touch of Namjoon's strong, warm arms. They went to bed together, Kookie knowing Namjoon was waiting for Jungkook to appear, knowing that he wasn't going to.
The next day Kookie was able to leave work earlier than planned. He was suppose to work until late but he got off around six and he had the day off the following day. The dark had nearly settled and he knew it wouldn't be long before it would take over the cold winter night. He got a cab to his and Namjoon's apartment and opened the door to the apartment. He could hear Namjoon's voice somewhere and realised that it was from the bedroom. He walked to the door which was almost closed and heard he was moaning. Kookie's heart stopped as he peeked inside. Namjoon had closed his eyes tightly, his hand moving up and down as he was jerking off. He heard Namjoon moan a name and it shattered Kookie's heart and tears started to fall from his eyes. It wasn't his name. It was Jungkook's. He was moaning Jungkook's name over and over. He cried silently as he heard Namjoon get closer to his high, still with Jungkook's name in his mouth. Kookie left the apartment, not knowing that if he had just walked in a little before, he would hear Namjoon moan his name as well, Kookie.
Kookie wandered the streets in what seemed like forever. It was cold but it was like it went right through him. He didn't know what to do. He loved Namjoon so much but it seemed he only loved Jungkook. He walked and walked until the tears stopped and his mind was empty. He rounded a corner and realised he was in an alley. A man was standing a little down smoking. Kookie wanted to walk pass him but the man grabbed his hand, making Kookie's heart jump from suprise.
"Hey baby, need some company?" The man said in a low voice.
"No." Kookie said and frowned.
"Ah come on. You're good looking and I'm not too bad myself. I'm sure we can have fun." The man said and took a last drag of the cigarette before letting it fall the the ground. Kookie eyed him carefully. He wasn't too bad looking, probably around the same age as Namjoon. "What do you say? I know you're an angel and everything but give into the temptation." The man said and let his other hand hold Kookie's waist. Kookie was disgusted with another man touching him and was just about to move, when Namjoon's voice moaning Jungkook's name played in his mind. He saw Namjoon lie on the bed, his hand pleasing himself. He felt the wave of sadness crash into him again and looked the man standing infront of him.
"Okay." Kookie said and the man smiled. He dragged Kookie up some stairs and into an apartment. He put Kookie on the bed and crawled onto it too. Kookie felt the man kiss his lips and reacted like a machine. He kissed back without really feeling them. The man kissed down his neck and touched his body all over. Kookie didn't feel the man's lips or hands.
He was so confused. Namjoon was his first boyfriend, at least that's how Kookie considered him. He had of course had the boy before him, the one who hurt him. Though looking back, he wasn't a good person at all. Kookie had decided to erase him from his memory after he met Namjoon.
He had never felt this way before and now he didn't know how to handle all these feelings that flew around inside him. They filled him so much that in the end, he didn't feel anything at all. His body was shell, his soul long gone.
The man had now taken off Kookie's shirt. He was kissing Kookie's body as he lay emotionless. The man didn't notice, Kookie knew why. To him he was just a piece of meat. Someone to satisfy himself with. Kookie didn't care at all. Kookie felt Jungkook trying to take over. Trying to stop it. Prevent it. Though Kookie's will to self-destruct was too strong. His jealousy too powerful. His broken heart in pieces. It trapped Jungkook deep inside him, just as Kookie had been when Jungkook tried to protect him.
The man took his own shirt off and Kookie looked at him but just saw a body. The man stripped their last piece of clothing off so they were naked. Kookie wasn't shy, he wasn't anything at all. He let the man do whatever he wanted. The man found a condom and put it on Kookie before taking his member inside his mouth and bobbed his head. Kookie moaned and closed his eyes. He might not feel anything but his body reacted on the sexsual actions. The man bobbed fast and Kookie grew hard. He knew well enough, he wasn't as hard as when he was with Namjoon but it didn't seem to matter. Nothing mattered. Jungkook tried to stop them again.
The man kissed Kookie's neck and let Kookie's hand down to his own member. He made Kookie take a grib around it and Kookie followed the motions, he made him make. The man moaned into his ear but Kookie only heard his own shattered heart beating. The man became hard and found a condom. Jungkook pushed to prevent it, Kookie pushed back.
The man put it on himself while Kookie followed his actions with his eyes. No words were exchanged as he put lube on himself. Kookie had no words to say and the man only wanted his body, not his mind. Namjoon wanted the same. His body. Jungkook. Not Kookie. The man positioned Kookie's legs and let a finger slip inside. Kookie closed his eyes again and moaned. He added two fingers and Kookie moaned louder. Though the moans weren't filled with desire or lust, instead they were sounds from a machine working.
When the man thought it was enough he positioned himself and looked at Kookie who nodded. Jungkook did his best to break free, Kookie didn't even have to try hard to stop him. He pushed himself in and Kookie gasped. He wasn't as big as Namjoon but he was enough. He felt diffrently inside him but it hardly seemed to matter. Kookie nodded once more and the man started to move. He thrusted in and out slowly speeding up, like he was preparing for a game. Kookie closed his eyes and let his body moan and take in the thrust. Kookie frowned slightly as he thought he heard a crying voice inside him. He imagined it was Jungkook screaming. No! Kookie, please! It kept calling but Kookie ignored it. It had never happend before, it probably wasn't real.
The man moaned loudly, clearly enjoying his actions with Kookie. Jungkook was still fighting but Kookie kept him trapped. The man seemed not to last much longer and he put a hand on Kookie's member. Kookie moaned louder, and thought of Namjoon's long slim fingers. He didn't feel anything as they both came. No rush of satisfaction. Nothing. The man threw both of their condoms out and lay down next to Kookie. The man said something about Kookie, being an excellent partner and he could spend the night if he wanted. Kookie said he was good too and thanked him. He turned his back to him and closed his eyes. Jungkook had settled down inside him but Kookie knew he was sad. Though he didn't care. Not anymore. Sleep swept him away, like they were dancing and everything went pitch black.
Jungkook woke up next to the stranger, tears filling his eyes immediately. He was still naked and he hated the feeling of being so with a stranger. He cried his eyes out as he got dressed and left the apartment with the stranger sleeping. He ran to Namjoon and his apartment as fast as he possibly could. When he finally arrived, he saw Namjoon crouching infront of their door. His head clutched into his arms around his knees. He was wearing a thick jacket as it was cold and a beanie on the top of his head. Jungkook walked over to him and touched his hand lightly, it was ice cold.
"Namjoon is me Jungkook." Jungkook's voice sounded all mushy. Namjoon looked up with red eyes, clearly from crying, his eyes were drowsy as well and Jungkook could only imagine the night he had had, when Kookie didn't return home. Namjoon stood up and they embraced each other both crying into each others shoulders.
"Where were you Jungkook? I called you all night and I was worried sick." Namjoon cried and looked at Jungkook.
"I'm so sorry. Kookie had sex with another man, a stranger and spend the night sleeping in his bed. I'm so sorry." Jungkook cried and leaned his head against his chest. Namjoon felt his whole body being shocked because of this. He stroked Jungkook's hair trying his best to comfort him but he couldn't even make his own tears stop. He couldn't wrap his head around why Kookie would ever do such thing. Slowly Jungkook calmed down and they entered the apartment, though Namjoon was still very upset. They cuddled up on the couch, tons of blankets on top of their bodies. "Kookie was hurt because he thinks you love me and not him anymore. He thinks you want to be with me instead and not him. Yesterday he got off early and heard you moan my name, as you were pleasing yourself. So he ran out crying and walked around for hours until..that happend." Jungkook said and leaned his head on Namjoon's chest. Namjoon felt shocked all over and wanted to vomit for ever making Kookie go to these extremes. He couldn't shake the guilt which filled up his body and twisted his stomach in an ugly way. They stayed on the couch each in their own world, each feeling the impact.
Days went by and Kookie didn't come out again. He was too hurt and broken down. Namjoon's mood was constantly gloomy as he was worried about Kookie. He was at a lost on how to show both Jungkook and Kookie that he loved them both a lot. It felt like years ago where Jungkook would hurt him almost every night. Now Jungkook was one of the two who were the love of his life. He just wished Kookie knew he also was the love of his life.
Jungkook kept apologizing to Namjoon as he felt it was his fault. Namjoon always said it was his own fault and he would kiss and hug Jungkook to soothe him.
Every night Namjoon would look at the sleeping Jungkook, hoping this time Kookie would appear. After some time it didn't feel like it was enough so he began to whisper into his ear.
"Kookie, Jungkook I love you. You both are my everything." And everynight, he fell asleep disappointed and sad. Their lives went on and they went to work, the two of them trying to pretend it didn't kill them both just a little. Jungkook fully understood, where Namjoon was coming from. He had nothing against Kookie and wanted Kookie and him to get along for Namjoon's sake. Namjoon loved them both. He understood that. He tried to feel inside him and tried to see if Kookie would appear but he was like a wounded animal in hiding.
One night Namjoon was once more looking at the beautiful sleeping Jungkook. He whispered his usual lines but added more now. "Kookie do you remember how we met? I saw you in that coffee shop reading my favourite book. You immediately took my interest and I couldn't take my eyes off you. When you looked up and our eyes met you gave me the brightest smile and I swear that I never believed in love at first sight but you made me think otherwise. I fell for you right in that instant and I still remember our first night we slept cuddled up together. The first night Jungkook appeared and how confused and scared I was because you never told me about him. But you were worth it. Kookie everything I went through, the hurt and scars, you were all worth it and I will love you forever." Tears had formed in Namjoon's eyes as he said the words and, found that he had never meant something so much in his entire life. A sad smile spread over his lips as the memory found him again. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him over, and hoped Kookie would appear, even though he held no hope for it.
Namjoon woke up and saw the clock showed seven. It was early and he wanted to stay in bed all day as he was off work. He turned around and saw Jungkook was looking at him silently.
"Good morning." Namjoon's hoarse voice sounded. He expected Jungkook to answer him as always but he didn't. He just stayed like that, looking at Namjoon without opening his lips. Namjoon looked deeply into his eyes and saw it was Kookie. No doubt it was him. Kookie started to smile at him loving and Namjoon took it as his way of saying it was okay. Everything would be okay. Tears welled up in Kookie's eyes as he moved closer and hugged Namjoon firmly. He sobbed into his neck while Namjoon held him tightly. He was so happy to finally see Kookie again.
"I felt so disgusting being touched by another man." Kookie cried and remembered the man's hand on his body. He only wanted Namjoon's hands on his body now.
"You're not disgusting. I never saw someone as beautiful as you and I love you Kookie. I love you and Jungkook the same, so never think I would love you less or that you aren't enough for me. You are everything to me, please never forget my words." Namjoon said making Kookie feel a little better. Kookie nodded while continuing to sob sorry's into Namjoon's neck. Namjoon kept whispering it was alright and stoked his head and back. After some time, Kookie felt Namjoon move away from the embrace and stood up. "Wait here okay?"
"Okay." Kookie answered having no clue what was going on. He came back a minute later with a present in his hand. Kookie sat up while Namjoon sat next to him giving him the present.
"Here, open it." Namjoon said and Kookie slowly opened it. There was a necklace inside with a ring on it. He looked at Namjoon with sad eyes. It was absolutely beautiful. He looked at the ring and inside it was Namjoon's name engraved and the date they met. Kookie looked at Namjoon who got a necklace out from under his shirt and showed Kookie with a proud smile. In his ring was Kookie's and Jungkook's name engraved, together with the date.
"Jungkook and I chose them. I wanted to give you something and Jungkook said you would definitely like the idea of it and I liked the idea as well, so I hope you like it?" He looked on Kookie a bit unsure but sighed seeing Kookie's smile.
"It's perfect. Thank you Namjoon" Kookie smiled happily. It was really so beautiful and he was proud to own such thing. Namjoon put the necklace on him and Jungkook embraced him again, while now lying down. He cried into Namjoon's chest as he thought about all the things he had done. Sleeping with man, he didn't love and cheat on Namjoon. He had finally realised Namjoon loved them both. He wasn't mad at Jungkook anymore. He knew Namjoon didn't prefer anyone over the other but still he felt really bad about it. He never wanted to hurt Namjoon. Namjoon caressed his back and like he knew what Kookie was thinking said in a gentle voice.
"It's okay Kookie. I forgive you for everything. You shouldn't think about it anymore." Kookie felt slightly better hearing that and slowly he became drowsy. He promised himself and Namjoon to never do such thing again. He understood it now, Namjoon wanted and loved them both.
Namjoon felt drowsy as well and promised himself to make sure both Kookie and Jungkook would never feel like they weren't enough. He would make sure they both knew they were wanted and loved. Slowly they both fell asleep again, all tangled up and their wounds slowly healing.