I was in another world; a world full of darkness and suffering. One single streetlight cast bright light down onto my back. I ran my hands along the rough pavement. My cheek rested against it. Blood stained the concrete, pooling in the cracks. I forced myself up and stumbled forward into the darkness. A shrill scream of terror erupted through the air. A gunshot rocked my body, leaving me trembling. Then, there was a woman's voice.
"No, please. Please."
The words were soft. I shuffled in the direction of the voice.
"Help. No. Don't do this."
I moved as fast as I could, but I never got closer. Every step I took brought me back to the same bright light. The blood-curdling scream continued, piercing my ears. The voice was so familiar. Then, another light appeared. A woman was lying on the ground. Her body was limp. I ran in her direction, dropping to my knees.
"Can you hear me? Are you ok?" I asked in a panic.
As I rolled her over, her blood stained my hands. Her green eyes stared back at me. Her face was pale and cold, all the life drained from it. My chest tightened, my breathing becoming shallow. The woman from the deli. She was haunting my dreams again. There was no escaping the evil crime I had committed. Tears brimmed along my lashes. My breathing was ragged as the weight of her death settled on my shoulders. It would follow me for the rest of my life, tearing me apart piece by piece. Who was I to decide who died? I gripped her body, holding her against me as I grieved.
A hooded figure stood in front of me. His heavy breathing forced me to look at him. He held a silver pistol that shimmered in the bright light above us. The tattoos on his hands confirmed my suspicions.
"Cayden?"
He removed his hood. An evil smile spread across his face.
"Why are you here? Look what your job forced me to do." I looked back at the woman's face.
"While you thought I was your salvation, I was your worst nightmare. I listened to your dreams and your fears. I understood what made you tick. Now, I control you like a kid controls a remote-controlled toy. I started you out with small tasks that you found unpleasant. Then, I worked you up to things you never dreamed you were capable of."
I stared at him. Anger built in my chest. Cayden had planned this from the beginning. He had never had good intentions for me or the Southside. Something had made him lose his mind. My brotherhood, who I called my family, had set me on this path. I thought they were my way out of the streets, but maybe they were my way further in. They had turned me into a person I never wanted to be.
I jolted awake. The sunlight was pouring through the space in my curtains. The annoying buzz of my alarm clock had saved me.
"Fuck."
When I slammed my hand down to silence the alarm, I noticed the time and groaned. I rushed out of my bed and grabbed some clothes from the closet. There was no way I could make it to Adrienne's house and have enough time to get us to school.
Last night, I had spent most of my time trying to decide if I should tell Cayden I was involved with the niece of the police chief. I had tossed and turned all night, and then I'd had that dream. Killing that woman would be on my shoulders for the rest of my life. There was no escaping it.
I let out a heavy sigh. Cayden's appearance in my dream worried me even more. He was my father-figure and my leader, but the words he had spoke echoed in my mind. He controlled me like a kid controlled a toy. Cayden knew I wanted out of the streets, but he was holding me here. I was trapped.
I stumbled down the stairs and saw my dad standing in the living room. He was wearing a new suit, and his fingers were fumbling around with his tie. I watched him, my eyebrow raised in curiosity. A month ago, he didn't have the money to keep the water on, but now he had the money to buy a new suit.
"What's up with this?" I shrugged my leather jacket on my shoulders.
He turned to look at me and smiled. "Hey, son. This is nothing. I just decided to look nice today." His fingers fumbled with his tie.
I stepped over beside him. "Hm."
I reached to finish tying the tie for him. "Well, I hope whoever you're looking nice for looks nice for you as well." I patted his chest, my eyes glancing to the floor.
He looked down at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Thanks, Spencer. I know stuff hasn't been great between us, but I am hoping we can start over soon," he said, his eyes flickering with the same sadness I had seen the day Mom left.
I looked back at him, exhaling deeply. "I hope so, Dad. It will only happen when you stop drinking, though." I reached down to grab my backpack.
He was quiet. I nodded before heading out the front door. "Bye, Dad," I called.
The sound of an empty bottle hitting the floor made me cringe. With liquor around, he'd never be able to let go of his crippling addiction, and we would never build the relationship he wanted.
A cool wind blew across the city and sent a shiver up my spine. The clouds drifted across the sky and blocked the warming sun for the second day in a row. Winter was coming. I shoved my hand in my jacket pocket and pulled out my phone to send Adrienne a message.
Late. Can't walk with you, but I'll see you at school.
I pushed my phone back into my pocket as I walked toward the school with the mass of people that used the sidewalk as their mode of transportation through the city. The constant glances and brushes against my shoulders made me uncomfortable. I kept my eyes down as I slipped down an alley.
As I turned another corner, I slid to a stop, seeing Rodney and his goons at the end of it. They were circled around someone. It was a girl. She was trapped with her back against the wall. I squinted my eyes and moved closer, staying in the shadows as I tried to get a better view.
"What's your name, baby?" Rodney asked, flashing her an evil white smile.
The girl gripped her cell phone and stared at him. She struggled against his grip. "I'm Catherine," she snapped.
My muscles tensed as I dug my fingers into the brick wall. He was putting the Southside in danger by interacting with a stranger without Cayden's permission.
Rodney grinned again, his dreads falling down around his face. "Oh, little Catherine. So beautiful. What are you here for?" He was toying with her like a lion teasing his prey before he killed it.
Catherine smiled back at him with a smug look on her face. "I was hoping to find some molly. You think you could help me out with that?" She batted her eyelashes at him.
Rodney stepped back from her, glancing over at Diggz. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure, girl. I haven't seen you around here before."
"Oh, come on, big daddy. Help a girl out," she pleaded.
Diggz stepped up beside Rodney, sliding the drugs into his hand. "How much you wanting?" His voice lowered.
"Whatever forty can get me."
Rodney glanced out towards the entrance of the alley and nodded his head. "'Aight bet."
She held her hand out with the money in it. Rodney took her hand, exchanging the capsules for the money.
"Pleasure doing business with you. You could hang around and maybe we could enjoy it together . . ." He tilted his head as his eyes scanned her body.
"So tempting . . . but I'm here with Chicago PD."
The entrance of the alley filled with officers, cutting off a quick escape.
The police had their guns trained on each guy, and their hands flew up in surrender. Rodney released the girl and took a step back as she pulled out a gun and focused it on him. Suddenly, the guys all scattered in the alley, running in different directions in an attempt to get away. My stomach clenched. I was frozen in disbelief.
Footsteps against the pavement broke me from my trance. I took off in the direction of the Southside apartment, and the thought of going to school disappeared from my mind.
Chicago PD knew our territory, and they weren't afraid to enter it. This was bad for the south side. This was even worse for me. If the police closed in on the Southside, they closed in on the murder at the deli. I didn't want to go to prison.
I was scared for the first time in a long time. I stumbled along the alley as adrenaline pulsed through my veins. My muscles were tensed as I reached the fire escape and climbed up the stairs. I had to tell Cayden about the police. They were getting too close. I'd walked down the wrong alley today.