Despite the rocky and highly un-educational start to my first day as Jim’s student, we did, eventually actually get started on some work. Jim is a good teacher but he’s a hard ass and strict as hell, I still can’t tell if it’s for real or if he’s doing it for fun to test my limits. Thankfully whatever his motives I haven’t lost it just yet, I can be sure of one thing though and that’s that it can go one of two ways when I’m with Jim and trying to concentrate, either his presence will calm me and steady my focus so that I can actually have a shot at doing something right, or I just get caught up in staring at him, this usually happens when he walks past me and his scent gets shoved into my nose or when he comes over and tries to help me with something, his hand will brush mine as he turns a page or picks up a pen.
Right now I was in a focused sort of mood, probably because Jim was sat at the opposite side of the wide table to me, eyes focused on a book that I hadn’t bothered to read the title of. I finished my last equation and put my pencil down, turning me head and spying the time on the clock in the kitchen.
“Jim”.
“Mm”? he muttered still looking at his book.
“You need to take me home”.
“You are home, you mean I should take you back to your Father” he told me, sitting up and closing the volume in his hands before setting it on the table.
I rolled my eyes, I know I said that I’m his but that’s just fact because I am his mate, so I kind of am. It’s not like I told him that I love him... actually I think I did that already... I don’t know. Anyway the point is even though it’s sweet that he thinks of his place as my home now, I don’t. I’m not saying that I won’t ever but right now, my home is with my Dad.
“No Jim, I mean home”. His eyes flicked up to me then, finally looking at me. His stare was even, calculating like he was trying to pick words carefully. In the end he got up from his chair and kept his eyes on me as he walked around the table and crouched on the balls of his feet next to my chair, looking up at me thoughtfully. I couldn’t help my eyes trailing to the triangle of bare chest where the first couple buttons on his shirt were open, revealing the start of dark hair underneath.
Jim took my right hand in both of his and used this to push my palm flat over his heart, the feel of it under my hand, beating strongly surged a strange mix of emotions in me – protective, like I was to be the guardian of that little ticker now, that it was my job to keep it safe in more ways than one. Hopeful, the beats were deep and loud and full and that showed me how strong he is, made me hopeful that when I was for some reason not by his side, he could keep up a good enough defence of my new treasure that happened to be buried in his chest. Fear, his heart is very important but still so physically fragile like a glass light bulb fitted into a durable beacon, all it would take is one slip of the hand and, smash my bright, bright light would go out. Lastly, and even now annoyingly, home.
Like he heard my thoughts Jim spoke, squeezing my hand over his chest. “Home, I’m your home”. Looking into his eyes, it felt like he was pleading with me to see but he didn’t need to, I’d gotten there myself. It’s scary how on the same page we seem to be getting now but it’s only scary to a part of me that seems to be growing smaller every day.
I didn’t really know what to say to him, my revelation though illuminating to me seemed personal, maybe too personal to share and I felt a little weird even trying to come up with words to make it sound less dorky. So I just used my free hand to pull his over my heart instead.
“Home” I whispered, pushing his hand down like did to mine. I wasn’t looking at him when I said it but at the floor.
One of Jim’s hands pulled free while the other remained and took my chin gently, tilting my face up and he leant in, stretching his neck to meet my lips with his. It was soft but it had a deceptive undertow to it, like a smooth surface of water that had a fierce current beneath it, something you’donly know if you stepped in.
Jim tugged me off of the dining room chair and on to his still squatting thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist his tongue sweeping my bottom lip, instantly my lips parted for him, my hands where half way to his hair when my mind conjured up a better place for them to go.
Changing the course of my thoughts my hands slid back down Jim’s neck, skimming under the collar of his shirt and I smiled when I felt him shiver between my legs. My fingers peeked back out again started unbuttoning the shirt. I was hesitant the whole time, with each button I grew surer that he’d stop me but he didn’t.
I pulled out of the kiss and just stared now that I’d opened his shirt, I didn’t even care that I was blatantly eating him with my eyes and if it’s any consolation I don’t think Jim cared either. A small amount of dark hair lightly covered his pecks and faded away into a thin line that ran down the middle of his washboard abs and then running even further south, I couldn’t help it, blame the line it drew my eye! Slowly my eyes travelled back up to his, very much enjoying the return trip too.
“Do you like what you see Beth”? I felt myself nod, looking back down at the view again as if to prove the point. “Then touch me”. My eyes flicked up to him then in surprise, not so much at being asked to but at the hunger in his voice. I hesitated again, not taking my eyes off of Jim’s and watching his desire seep into the green. “I feel like I’m going to combust if you don’t”.
My hands reached out, my hesitation having vanished the second he let on about his pain that should’ve obvious to me from the start. I stroked my hands down his chest scrunching my eyes shut at the purr rumbling in his chest. I slumped forward against the weight of an invisible force that pulled us together, my forehead resting against Jim’s now with my eyes open and the pair of us panting like we’d run a marathon.
Just as my hands reached out for him again a phone started ringing, effectively breaking the somewhat dirty bubble we’d managed to get ourselves sucked into. My eyes immediately went to the table where I saw what must be Jim’s cell buzzing away on top of the wood table and I started to pull away but strong arms clutched me tighter and rendered my attempts useless.
“Stay with me” he pleaded again like I was going to disappear off the face of the Earth and leave him the only person left.
“Your cell –“
“Ignore it and come back to me” he demanded with his eyes.
“I’m still here”.
“No, no you’re not, I’ll bring you back”.
“Wait –“ I didn’t have a chance to say the whole ‘what if it’s an emergency’? Jim’s lips were instantly locked with mine and I was right back in that haze I was in before, the weight of the pull on me again and the only chance I had of relieving it was to get closer, to be closer to him, so I kissed him back and curled my fingers into his hair.
I felt Jim tip onto his back so that we were on the floor and I was on top of him, he made no move to try and change that and I still had enough sanity to be grateful and then confused when he let go of my waist to ball his hands into fists at his sides on the floor.
I pulled away again and looked at him with uncertainty at this new development, one minute he’s begging me to stay with him and the next he doesn’t want to touch me.
“What’s wrong”?
“Nothing baby, I just, need to control myself a little that’s all”. I could see on his face that he was trying so hard to keep himself from going too far and hurting me but I realised, more felt that if he wasn’t restraining himself so entirely and if I let him have something small then he wouldn’t find it so difficult, I just have to give him a little freedom.
So carefully I picked up his still balled fists, one in each hand and grazed them gently up my denim covered legs that still straddled his waist, continuing up slower now under my ridiculous sweater and left them on my stomach, feeling them unfurl and spread themselves over my skin. They didn’t move anywhere else, content with this small consolation.
“You feel so good”. I smiled down at his husky remark and was about to kiss him again when the cell went off again, he saw my eyes leaving him again for the phone and sat up suddenly so that our eyes were level. “Ignore it”.
“It might be my Dad”. He sighed deeply and pecked my nose, stood with me in his arms and put me down onto my feet softly before grabbing the cell.
“Hello? Hey Rick, what’s up”? There was a pause. “I know, I kept her going since she was late this morning but we’re done now, so I’ll have her back in twenty”. Another pause. “Ok, alright see you in a bit, bye”. Jim hung up and put the cell into a front pocket of his jeans, leaning on the table momentarily in concentration.
When he stood back upright again I watched as he buttoned up his shirt and I looked away for the first time embarrassed at what went on. It seems that when I’m a good distance away from him I can function like a normal person, I will have to remember that.
Jim's warm hand reached out and turned my head to fce him. “Don’t” he murmured.
I frowned. “Don’t what”?
“Don’t be embarrassed”.
“I’m not”.
“You’re lying to me
I shook my head needing him to understand me before he got the worng idea. “I’m sorry, I just... I’m not used to this, I –“ Jim nodded softly.
“I know and that’s ok, just please don’t ever regret us, what we do”.
“I’d never regret you Jim, I promise”.
“I love you so much”. I couldn’t say what he wanted this time so I just leant into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pushing my face into his chest and inhaling his scent as his toned arms worked themselves around me too, Jim’s nose falling into my hair, his lips pressed against it.
“I know, I know it’s not the same but I really do care about you Jim”. His arms squeezed me tighter.
“I know... how would you feel if we took a day just to get know each other”?
“That would be nice”. It would be nice to just here like this in his arms a little longer, I don't feel like the pressure from the rest of the world when Jim holds me, all that makes it through my brain is him, us.
“I just, I want to give you reason to not question our feelings for each other anymore, I want you to trust yourself and me, and I want to know you better”.
“I want to know you better too, it might make me forgive you for being such a mean teacher” I joked, looking up at him through my lashes in time to see a wicked grin.
“I’m not mean and it’s not my fault that you need some discipline, plus I kind of get a kick out of it”.
“Oh I noticed that much”. I want so much to kiss him right now... “We really should get going, you told my Dad that I’d be back in twenty minutes”.
Jim groaned exaggeratedly bowing his head and jutting out his bottom lip at me, it just made me want tug at it with my teeth but I know that will be counterproductive right now since my Dad is waiting for me.
Jim let go of my and grabbed his keys from the table. “Come on then”.
The drive back home was silent but it wasn’t awkward it was sort of restful, I’ve come to find that silences with me are the only awkward ones I have now, and being with Jim in the quiet is a nice relief from that.
Jim drives faster than my Dad even though his pickup truck is bulkier than the Jeep, I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved but I think the sooner we’re apart the easier it will be for the both of us instead of just lingering around each other and stalling our selves from being apart again.
There is one thing though, that keeps playing on my mind ever since that phone call from my Dad. I hate lying, mostly because my body physically has no tolerance for it. I can lie and do it well but my stomach churns and my mind becomes riddled with guilt and more over the lies that I’ve told for some reason or another, sleep patterns become erratic and scarce, I get jittery and have to spend the majority of my time trying to shut up that irritating little voice that yells at me to come clean and everything will be alright again.
I go through all that and it can just be because I lied about seeing some movie to someone I really don’t even talk to, but lying to my Dad might actually just kill me. Especially about something as big as Jim, him being my mate and everything is a huge deal and I’m hiding it from the most important person in my life.
No one needs to tell me that Jim is my Dad’s best friend, he’s been here with him for seven years as his advisor and right hand man, but the personal alliance between them glares at me every time I see them together and I feel like I’m going to be what breaks that and I really don’t want to be. I don't to take that friendship away from them or their ability to work together for the pack's sake...
“What are you thinking about so hard”?
I turned my head in shock, forgetting that I wasn’t alone for a minute and saw Jim’s concerned face staring at me. “Nothing”.
Jim sighed. “You can’t lie to me Beth –“
“It’s nothing” that I want you to know about, I finished in my head and with a relieved sigh I realised that we’d stopped and were in the drive of my house. “Bye Jim”. I muttered quickly and jumped like a bat of hell from the cab of the truck and sprinted like an idiot up the drive. I reached a hand out to knock but before I could touch it the door opened on my Dad standing there with a smile.
“Hey sweetie, it’s weird how fast I’ve gotten used to you being back home, it’s been real quiet around here these last few hours”. I wanted aw at him but I knew it would embarrass him so I didn't. How I could ever leave my Dad to this house alone again didn't even enter my mind because I won't do it, just looking into his lonely eyes I know that I can't, even my wolf was having a hard time trying to fight me over it.
My voice was even softer than usual when I spoke again. “I missed you too Daddy”.
“Good, I was going to let you go with Jim tomorrow for some more school but I think I’m going to take you with me instead and start teaching you Alpha stuff, that way we can spend some time together too" he smiled brightly down at me, resting his big hands on my shoulders.
“Ok, that sounds nice”.
I mentally shrivelled when I heard his voice behind me, felt his body heat scorch my back. “Hey Rick, how’d it go today”?
Dad sighed. “Slowly, so I was just saying to Beth that I’ll be taking her with me tomorrow”.
“Yeah? That’s, fine”. Could he be more obvious? Maybe it's just because I've been spending time with him but to me it sounded as if it wasn't fine at all with Jim.
Dad smiled. “Good, did you get much done today”? He asked me hopefully.
I groaned for his benefit. “Math mostly”. And the lies begin.
Dad whislted a sad tune, his eyes wide with pity. “A whole day of Math? I don’t envy you kid". His eyes flicked to Jim then. "Did she behave herself”?
I couldn't see his face but I was sure if I could he'd smirk. “Well we had a few choice words thrown here or there but she settled down eventually”. Bastard.
My Dad looke between us confused. “I don’t know what it is with you two, I never would’ve thought there’d be a problem between you... hm, anyway sweetie dinner’s on the table, want to join us Jim”? Please say no, please no!
“Sure, thanks”. I for one suddenly wasn't so hungry anymore, I bowed my head to my fate and walked past my Dad and into the house, through the hallway and in the huge living room/dinning room. The dinning part was pushed right to the back of the lounge, it was just an enmourous oak table that's been passed down since the first pack settlement. There were a few old paintings dotted around too and the chair were all high backed and grand.
I couldn't help comparing this place to Jim's, I mean Jim's is impressive and modern but it's a lot more laid back and easy to be in, the walls aren't hiding behind big pictures and hanging chandeleirs, the windows weren't lined with silk drapes but were left open to the pretty views outside.
By the time I payed attention again Dad and Jim were sat down at the table with me, Dad at the head, me to his immediate left and Jim to his immdediate right.
So I wasn't tempted to look at Jim anymore I looked at the food on the table in surprise, Dad had gone all out, roast chicken and potatoes, gravy and other vegetables, I didn't know the old man had it in him.
“I didn’t know you could cook Dad”, my surprise colouring my voice.
“Well if you’re anything like your Mother you can’t, I had to learn so I could survive” he laughed but I knew it was true, Mom was terrible cook but unfortunately it wasn't for lack of trying, I can still remember the Okra surprise with a clarity that one doesn't want for such a situation.
“I can’t cook, at all – my home Ec. teacher Mrs Dales hated me, I swear every time I walked into her classroom she’d cry” I told him honestly, sticking my fork into a potatoe.
His eyeborws furrowed. “Really? What did you do”?
“Mostly, burnt stuff – not on purpose” I added when his eyes looked worried.
Dad got defensive then, probably remembering how my Mom would go crazy if he insulted her culinary skills, or lack of but I don't care I know it's the truth. “I know”.
“You’re looking at me like I’m an arsonist or something, but yeah, I’m a terrible cook... well I’m bad at making dinner, baking I’m not so bad at”.
His eyes lit up. “Hm, make me some cake woman, oh and cookies” he nodded seriously while my mouth fell open.
“Dad”.
“What? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had homemade brownies? Please”? He pouted at me like a child and I'm ashamed to say I can't say no to him when he looks at me like that, I spoil him.
“Fine, just don’t call me woman and start ordering me around old man or you might just find yourself eating a bad brownie”.
I laughed when Dad's nd Jim's eyes narrowed in fear and suspicion. “What’s a bad brownie”?
Mitch and the girls know all to well what a bad brownie is, lets just say you want to be near a bathroom if you happen to get one. “Mitch knows –" I was cut off grinning like a maniac at the sound of my cell ringing. "Speak of the devil”.
“Please Dad, please, I’d said I’d call and I didn’t, please”? I pouted at him this time and saw him break quickly.
“Urgh fine, make it quick”.
“Thank you”! I got up and rang to my bag that I'd dropped by the couch on the way in and laid myself down on it, smiling into the phone. “Hey Mitch”?
Mitch's awful laugh rang down the line. “Hey baby cakes, where was my call”? She questioned, comically serious after her cackle a second ago, I still feel bad though.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and answered. “I’m sorry I’m a terrible person”.
“Yes you are, how dare you – I do recall promising to go Bruce Lee on your ass” I could tell that she was smiling when she said it.
“You’re not so tough, you know you love me”. I frowned when I heard a loud shriek of a knife slipping against a dinner plate but shook the harsh noise out of my tickled ear drums.
“I guess... so how was that problem you wouldn’t tell me about”? Mitch asked curious now.
I knew that the guys were listening so I couldn't really talk about having guy toubles so evasive was all I could do. “It’s hard to say... ok maybe? It’s going to take time”.
“OH MY GOD IT’S A GUY ISN’T IT”? I should' ve known that my evasive wasn't enough to throw Mitch off, she always knows but I rushed to deny her assumption even though she's right.
“No, course not”.
She laughed so loud that I winced. “AHAHAHAHA guys, get your butts over here – B is having guy troubles”! I heard a chorus of muffled screaming and thuds ans they sat themselves around Mitch
“No Mitch I swear to almighty Thor I will end you if you –“ there was a scuffling sound and 'ouch' and a 'haha sucka' before someone started to talk again.
“Hey B is it true? Are you crushing already? You’ve only been gone a week – is he hot? – OH OH send us a picture and do it now Bitch”! I laughed.
“George where’d you come from? Give the phone back to Mitch”.
“Neva bitch, tell me, give me something is he totally delicious, can I share”? I growled lowly, I hoped that she didn't hear that. I know she was only joking but the thought of someone else being with Jim had my blood boiling and vision doubled like I was looking through my Wolf's eyes like I would if I were looking for a target.
“No you cannot”!
George chuckled loudly down the line, I could hear her stamping her feet on the floor in her amusement. “HAHAHA I knew it! Guys it’s true she’s hooked one and she’s already possessive hehe, this soooo cool, we all thought Steph would bag one first, obviously we were wrong, you’re a little fire cracker aren’t you? – Gasp! Have you done the deed yet”?
“Oh my God – George! I’m not answering that question” My face flamed and my eyes widened at her even thinking that and then at me actually thinking about Jim and me being with each other like that....
“Why? That so means you have, I’m putting you on speaker” she concluded.
“No – no-“ but it was too late, I heard her press the button and set in on the floor.
“Have you had sex? Is that what we’re talking about now”? Steph asked now excitedly.
“No to both, you guys come on”! I complained annoyed and embarrassed.
“Aw don’t be boring you know we love you” Goerge put in, I could imagine her pouting down at the phone, he short and violently purple hair tied up in a messy bun.
“I love you too... and I’m being serious, I have not I swear” I sighed, fatigued by having to verify my virginity even if it is to my friends.
“Is it bad that I wish she was lying”? Georgie asked the others now while I frowned at the phone.
“Uh, yes” Mitch said a little disgusted, quickly followed by Steph.
“Totally gross”.
I could hear the eye rolling from here. “What? It’d be good to get some pointers for future reference”.
“Eww that is sick” Steph went on and I found myself nodding in shock at the phone while argued.
“It so is not! I read about it in a magazine - girls always talk about sexperiences” George was firm on this.
Mitch laughed. “Sexperiences? Really”?
“What have you been reading, it wasn’t one of those gross guy mags was it?C that’s messed up”. I put in now needing to get some sane answers.
“No, I can’t remember anyway but it is so true”.
I laughed at them all and huffed out, sitting up on the couch again. “I miss you sooo much”.
“We miss you too B, can we meet up sometime soon”? Steph asked hopefully.
“I don’t know... maybe I could go stay with you guys, rent a room for a couple nights and we can stay together like the old times” I offered.
“Bring booze” George ordered with a snort.
“No you get your own... I guess if you wanted maybe you guys could here, the house is huge but I’ll have to square it with my Dad first”.
“I don’t know, I think we should totally ditch the rent’s and get out of town for summer break, a couple weeks of sun, sea and se-
“SAND you mean sand, and yeah that actually sounds pretty good” I put in hearing the giggles from the girls.
“We’ll go wild”!
“Completely”!
I so want to do this, it'll be amazing. “Is it a plan? Are we gonna do it”?
“Uh duh, it’s going to be epic”! I smiled and took a chance, looking up at the table to see two men glaring my way. I frowned but turned away from them.
“Cool, anyway I should get going, I kind of left dinner to pick up the call and my Dad is giving me super evils right now”.
“Oh my God did he hear me talking about sex”?! Georgie yelled again. I laughed at that, I went over into the living room half for this call, they heard everything I said but there is no way even with Werewolf hearing that they heard anything the girls said.
“No, don’t worry” I giggled.
George blew a gust of relief through the phone accidently. “Phew cos, your Dad is kinda hot”.
“KINDA"? Mitch asked appalled. "He’s gorgeous”!
“Eww EWW I’m hanging up now bye” I shook my head and shut the phone.
I shivered in my disgust and pocketed my cell in case they called back and I didn’t have my bag with me, I’d hate to miss them. It felt so good talking to them, having those weird conversations that I’d never have with anyone else. They are so funny and I miss them all so much, but I’m really excited about this trip in the summer, it’ll be awesome to have them back again even if it is only for a little while. I know it’s stupid now that I’m staying here, but I just can’t let them go and whenever I think of trying to because it’s for the best I just break a little inside, I love them.
They’ve been there for me every day of the last eight years, we’ve grown up together, gone through the motions with each other, gone through life, school, family deaths and celebrations, we had fights and silent treatments but through it all we’ve always come back to one and other and I can’t let that go, they’ve been my family and my friends, my enemies and my protectors just like I’ve been for them.
I sat back down at the table and took a breath, shaking my head with a sigh, being content that I got to hear them all again no matter for how brief a minute. I looked up at the intense quiet that surrounded me, both my Dad and Jim were staring at me.
“What”? I snapped at them, I hate it when people stare at me.
Dad locked his hands and leant forward on the table, resting chin on his hands. “Who was that”?
“I told you, Mitch” old man memory strikes again.
“So who was this George”? He continued raising his eyebrows at me - he met them what the hell?
“Am I not allowed to have more than one friend now”?
It was Jim that cut in next. “You never said they were boys”. He was angry and he deserves to be, they can both sit here and think it over - they deserve each other - no wonder they got along for so long they're both huge assholes!
“Oh my God! Is that what the glares are for?! You know what, I’m not hungry anymore” I slammed my knife and fork down and pushed the chair back roughly so that it hit floor when I got up and took off running, and another outfit bites the dust.
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THANK YOU FOR READING - PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT!!!!!! WOULD YOU BE ANGRY WITH JIM AND BETH'S DAD IF YOU WERE HER? XD
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