Disclaimer : Harry is not mine. But I do pray for a James every day.
~~~~~
Chapter 21
Lily spent the entire evening in the common room, waiting for James to come down. But just her luck, he didn't. Everyone had gone to bed but Lily continued waiting. Finally, after a heated debate with herself, she decided to go up to his dorm.
She shuddered slightly imagining the embarrassment she'll have to go through if Sirius opened his mouth. But the other option was letting James stay pissed at her and she most certainly couldn't let that happen. So bidding farewell to her ego and dignity, Lily walked up the stairs to the sixth year boys' dormitory.
Luckily for Lily, Sirius wasn't there in the dorm. Peter and Andrew were already asleep and Remus was tinkering with an old transistor.
"Remus?" she called, standing at the threshold.
He jumped slightly. "Lily?"
"Where is James?" she asked, walking into the room.
Remus seemed to understand her urgency. "He's in the ba-"
The bathroom door opened, interrupting Remus. James stepped out, dressed only in his blue pajama bottoms. Lily was suddenly aware that she was in the boys' dorm and James was standing in front of her, his face a mixture of surprise and amusement. Oh, and also the tiny fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. She caught sight of a tattoo on his side, just above his hip bone before she realized that she was staring. She quickly looked down, suddenly very interested in her bunny slippers, wondering what the tattoo is.
All this Quidditch did him some good. The fourth year girls were not joking when they said he has abs.
You do realize that you were checking him out, right?
Go away, conscience. I have a crush on him. So it's completely normal.
Somehow Lily kept her gaze fixed on his face and managed to form a meaningful sentence. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh."
Oh?
"I'll wait in the common room." she said, licking her lips nervously, feeling her face heat up.
"I'll be down in a moment." he said, putting on a t-shirt.
Face flaming red, Lily raced down the steps. She sat down, mentally preparing herself. She felt the couch dip on the other side and looked up to see James sitting next to her. All logic and rational thought flew right out of the window and she forgot everything she had planned to say.
"James I.. you know... it was..." Lily cursed herself for stuttering at the most inappropriate moment.
"I know, Lily." he said.
What?
"I know how you feel now. It was a shock to me too." he continued, "I don't want our this peaceful relationship to change. So let's just pretend this is nothing and let things go normally, yeah? We can talk about it when you're ready."
Lily stared at him for at least a minute before she remembered how to speak. "I'm sorry. I know I was being rude back then."
"It's okay."
Both of them sat there in the comfortable silence before Lily checked the time and saw it was already half past eleven. Wishing James good night, she went back to her dorm.
That went better than I thought.
Marlene was lying on her bed, already in her pajamas. She smiled casually when she saw Lily but Lily knew her best friend enough to realize that it was forced.
"Is something wrong, Marlene?" she asked.
Marlene sat up abruptly. "Nothing." Her gaze wandered around the room once before settling back on Lily.
Lily noted that there was a strong kind of smell that hung in the air, something like an aftershave or cologne. Something that definitely didn't belong in their room.
"Why did you go to the boys' dorm?" Marlene asked, distracting Lily from her suspicious thoughts.
"I had to talk to James. I was kind of ignoring him after the Defense class." Lily replied, "But how did you know where I was?"
Marlene shrugged. "I have my sources."
"Anyway, in all this confusion I forgot to ask you something. What is your patronus?"
"Why do you want to know?" Marlene asked, looking down at her lap, a light pink rising on her pale cheeks. That itself was enough to make Lily curious because Marlene never blushed.
"Because I am your best friend. Now tell me." Lily said, sitting down next to Marlene.
"Poodle." Marlene mumbled.
"What?" Lily asked, her lips twitching in the beginning of a laugh.
"My patronus is a freaking poodle, Lily."
And then Lily lost it. She fell backwards on to the bed, laughing hysterically.
"Marlene McKinnon's patronus. The Marlene Mckinnon's patronus is a poodle? A tiny little poodle?" she gasped between laughs.
"Shut up!" Marlene hissed but she was smiling too, "It was cute."
"You." Lily said, pointing her index finger at Marlene, "The most badass Gryffindor girl's patronus is a poodle!"
Both of them then burst into peals of laughter again.
~~~~~
Lily woke up to a chorus of "Happy Birthday" and face full of blonde hair.
"Happy Birthday, Lils." Marlene shrieked in her ear.
"Holy shit, Marlene! I wanted to use that ear in the future." Lily said, pushing Marlene away and smiling giddily.
She threw the covers off her and got down from the bed. Alice, Mary and Daisy then took turns hugging and wishing Lily.
Remus gave her a gentle hug and a pat on the head. Sirius, in total Sirius fashion, squeezed Lily to death. Peter shook her hand awkwardly.
Lily felt her stomach twist when she saw the last person in the room. He was smiling, all messy hair and bright eyes.
What should I do? Say hi? Hug him? Run out of the room? Merlin, I didn't even brush.
James didn't give her time to think anymore as he stepped forward and hugged her.
In that moment, it was just them. Just James and Lily, standing in her dorm, lost in each other's presence as the world around them blurred into nothingness.
Lily didn't know how it happened but in the few seconds they stood there, a thousand things got etched in her mind. The little things like the faint thud of his heart against her ear. The way he held her - close yet gentle. How his arms wrapped around her - tentatively, like he couldn't believe it wasn't a dream, that she was really there. The dazed look on his face when their eyes met and the soft "Happy Birthday" he murmured in her ear as he stepped back.
And the thought that struck her next scared her and made her heart race at the same time.
If this is what it felt like to be with him....
She stood there, swaying slightly on the spot. Their eyed locked again and she saw him smiling. A smile that said, I've been waiting so long for this. She moved back to lean on her bedpost. The way her heart was beating was not healthy.
This boy is going to be the death of me.
"We've got gifts!" Mary said, grinning.
"I haven't finished opening Christmas gifts and I'm getting more? Wow." Lily said, sitting back down on the bed.
"That was a month ago, Lily." Marlene said as she dropped a box into Lily's lap. One by one, all of them (except James who just stood there, arms crossed, smiling) handed their gifts to Lily.
"James forgot it's your birthday." Sirius said, sitting down next to Lily, casually throwing an arm across her shoulder, "See. He didn't even get you a gift."
What?
She shrugged his arm off. "Really?"
Sirius nodded solemnly. She turned to look at James but he was gone.
"Oh, good joke, Black."
Sirius shook his head. "I'm not joking, Lily flower. I'm totally Sirius."
He winked at the last part making Lily roll her eyes. All of them then left to prepare for their classes. Grabbing her towel, Lily walked into the bathroom.
After brushing her teeth, showering and putting on her uniform, Lily stood in front of the fogged mirror. She drew a smiley on the mirror and skipped back into the dorm, humming a tune she'd heard her mum singing.
As Lily sat on her bed, towelling her wet hair, her thoughts started wandering again.
Did he really forget?
All the five years Lily had celebrated her birthday at Hogwarts, James made sure to do something out of ordinary (which was usually an elaborate prank or another attempt at asking her out). It wasn't like him to forget her birthday. He never did. And she was pretty sure he didn't forget this time either. James forgetting Lily's birthday had as much chance as Rita Skeeter becoming Minister of Magic.
"You thought I forgot?"
Startled, she jumped and turned around, dropping the towel. James was standing at the doorway, a bouquet of violet peonies in his hand.
What is it with him and flowers?
"Not really." she said, retrieving the towel from the floor.
He held the bouquet out to her and Lily noticed a Honeydukes chocolate box and another small blue box on top of it. She took the flowers and looked up at him.
"What is it with you and flowers?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem like the person everyone would give flowers to."
"Because my name is Lily?"
"Maybe."
Her eyes strayed to the small blue box.
"Open it." he said.
Her heart beating furiously against her ribcage, Lily slowly pulled the ribbon off it and opened the box.
"This is beautiful." she said as she placed the bracelet on her wrist. It had small doe charms hanging on the silver chain.
James reached out and clasped it onto her wrist. "Custom made."
"That must have cost you a fortune." Lily said, her insides filling with warmth at the thought that he had done this just for her.
"I didn't know what else to get. Don't girls like stuff like this?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Who told you that?" she asked, smiling slightly.
"My mum." he mumbled, looking down, his ears going pink.
"You asked your mum what to get me?" she asked, laughing.
She couldn't even imagine how the conversation must have gone.
"I didn't know." he insisted, running a hand through his hair, "Moony didn't know either. I couldn't ask Marlene. She would rub it in my face till the day I die. And I had already gotten you a book. So..." he trailed off.
"Thank you." she said.
He looked up suddenly. "You like it?"
"Of course."
He smiled, momentarily messing with her senses.
"See you around."
And he left, leaving Lily to sort out her thoughts because really, James Potter is an adorable idiot, but every day, she liked him even more.
~~~~~
"Lily."
Lily didn't need to turn around to know who had called her name. She stood still, listening as the footsteps came closer.
"Happy Birthday." Severus said, a bouquet of white lilies in his pale, thin hands which he gave to her.
She eyed the flowers warily. And it hurt. It really did. How much ever she told herself (or James for that matter) that it didn't, the truth was that every time she saw Severus, she was reminded of the young boy who had come into her life suddenly and told her that she has magic. The young boy who had introduced her to a whole new world.
"Please." he said.
Hesitantly, she took the flowers. "You used to get me peonies."
He stood silently for a moment, staring intently into her green eyes.
"You already got peonies." he said, and she saw his gaze drop to the bracelet on her left hand. His face was as usual expressionless.
How does he know?
"Thanks." she said, starting to walk towards her common room.
"Wait." he said.
She stopped again and turned back to him.
"Are you and Potter..."
"What about me and James?" she asked.
"So he is James now?" he asked and she noted something like hurt and disappointment in his voice. It only made her angrier.
He has no right to be hurt. Not after what he did.
"What do you want to know?" she asked, her voice forcefully calm, "Why I call him James? Because that is his name."
"You're friends now?" he asked, completely ignoring Lily's annoyed tone.
"No." she said. Instead of the relief she expected on his face, it was suspicion.
"You hang out with him. You were in Hogsmeade with him. You danced with him. And you say you're not friends?"
"I don't care how you interpret things. I've answered your question. Now if you please, I have a class to get to." she said before she turned on her heels and stalked off towards Gryffindor tower. If she had waited a little longer, it would have made her feel the guilt. The guilt she shouldn't be feeling, which she felt only because he was once someone who meant a lot to her.
Maybe you should forgive him?, a timid voice in her head suggested, He really seems to regret what he did.
And for the first time after the incident by the lake, she considered forgiving him.
~~~~~
"Padfoot! Where is the map?" James asked as he searched through the drawers and trunks.
"Moony had it." Sirius said, rolling onto his back on the bed and tossing a rubber ball at the wall. James turned to Remus.
"I don't know, James." Remus said, panicking slightly, "I had it. That bit is true. But I don't remember where I left it."
Sirius and Peter started chanting "Moony lost the map! Moony lost the map!"
James ran his fingers through his thick hair. "I'll go and check in the common room."
~~~~~
Lily held up the folded parchment. Something about it wasn't right. She was more than sure it wasn't just a spare bit of parchment. She held the tip of her wand to the parchment and cast Revilio.
Her eyes widened when writing appeared on the parchment. It had been six years but she was still not used to all the magic. She looked down at the writing.
Mr. Moony requests Miss Lily to leave this parchment where she found it.
Lily's eyebrows shot up. Remus? She had heard the other three calling him that often.
Mr. Wormtail would like to wish Miss Lily a good day and support Mr. Moony's suggestion.
Mr. Padfoot would like to inform Miss Lily that Mr. Prongs is freaking out.
Lily chuckled softly. She very well knew who Mr. Prongs was.
Mr. Prongs would like to say that I'm not freaking out, you little shit. Also, Mr. Prongs thinks Miss Lily should return this parchment to its owners.
More writing appeared on the map but Lily was interrupted before she could read it.
"Oh, thank Merlin! I thought I lost it."
_______________________________________
A/N : The next few updates are going to be a little slow. Sorry.
Should Lily forgive Snape?
Should they become friends again?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like Severus Snape?
~Lianna