This chapter is dedicated to Aditi. Happy, happy, happy birthday to you!! Have a great day. And thank you so much for being such an amazing reader.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of these. As if you could compare the JK Rowling's amazing work to the trash I write. Pshaw!!
I couldn't think of a better title, okay? Blame Grey for it (love you if you get the reference).
~~~~~
Chapter 14
He was walking towards her. He was definitely walking towards her. He stopped in front of her table and smiled. Lily felt her own lips turn up in a smile.
He smiles a lot nowadays.
And she noticed that one of his teeth is slightly crooked. It made his smile seem more original somehow.
For Christ's sake, Lily, stop staring at him.
"Can I sit with you?" he asked.
Lily didn't trust her mouth so she nodded mutely.
He sat down next to her and dumped his books and quills on the table.
"Marlene forced me out of my seat." he said as an explanation for the sudden change in seating, "She is planning something with Sirius and it seems they don't want to let me in on the plan."
The class went on as usual and Professor Ross asked them to submit their homework. After the essays were collected, she turned to the class.
"The topic we will be starting today will go on for a few classes. The charm is extremely difficult, so I hope all of you will pay attention. We'll be studying the Patronus charm."
James groaned. "Not this again."
Lily turned to him, curiously. "I thought this is an interesting topic."
"It is." James said, "When you're studying it for the first time."
"What do you mean first time?" she asked, "You've done this before?"
He nodded. "Sirius, Remus and Peter too."
"We will start practicing the charm later. Open your textbooks to page 196." the professor instructed.
Lily did as she was told. But she noticed James was sitting still. He looked tired and there were faint dark circles under his eyes. He sat with his head in his hand and elbow on the table, his eyelids drooping slightly.
"Are you alright?" Lily asked.
"Fine. Just a bit tired." he said, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes.
Lily looked around at the other Marauders. Marlene was talking (more like blabbering) to Sirius but Lily doubted he was listening to anything she was saying. Peter, who was on the table behind Sirius, was already asleep and drooling on the desk. Remus was not in the class.
Full moon.
"Where is Remus?" she asked James.
"He's ill. Hospital wing." he replied.
Definitely full moon. But why are these three looking so tired?
James's head kept dropping to the side and he was blinking so slowly that Lily thought he fell asleep between blinks. His long eyelashes almost brushed the lenses of his glasses every time he blinked.
Why do boys even have long eyelashes?
"James?" she called gently.
"Yeah?" he said groggily.
He's adorable when he's sleepy.
Get a grip, Lily.
"You should get some sleep." she said.
"I don't want another detention for sleeping in class, Lily."
"You seem really tired." she argued
James shook his head. "I'm fine."
"You're not." Lily said, "I don't know what you were doing all night, but I'm sure your head is going to hit the table in a minute. So, sleep."
"What if she sees me?" he asked, gesturing to the professor who was grading their essays.
"I'll make sure she won't see you. I'll wake you up when she's close." she said. She certainly had no idea what she was saying.
"Sure?"
"Sure."
He smiled lazily. "Thanks."
And in a moment his head was resting on the table and he was fast asleep.
Lily shook her head, smiling a bit.
Boys are weird. And they say girls are confusing.
She went back to reading her book, occasionally looking up to see if the professor is still busy. The chapter was interesting and it managed to keep her attention off the boy next to her. It was the first time Lily was reading about it, a topic she had purposely avoided reading during the summer because it seemed to be of a more advanced level.
After she finished reading the assigned parts of the topic, she closed her book and turned to James. He was still sleeping, but had shifted so that his face was now towards her. And Lily's attention was caught on a small cut on his eyebrow.
She had noticed so many things about him since the start of the term that it surprised her. She wasn't supposed to notice those little things. And she was definitely not supposed to find them cute.
She had never thought someday she'll be forcing him to sleep because he looked tired and watch out so that he wouldn't get caught. She was going against everything she had thought and planned and she had to admit it was frightening.
Maybe I should wake him up. I might go mad because of these weird thoughts if I don't.
But when she looked down at him, he looked so peaceful and relaxed that she couldn't bring herself to disturb him.
Fifth year Lily would have thrown a tub of water over his head.
But fifth year Lily is gone.
I know, little voice in my head. And I don't want her to return.
So much had changed in such a short time that it was still unclear to Lily when they had fallen into this new situation. It was something she couldn't even name. What were they now? Something between acquaintances and friends?
James shifted slightly, startling Lily. He rubbed his nose with his wrist and fell asleep again. Lily bit the inside of her cheek to hold back a smile.
Things were definitely changing. She wasn't her old self anymore, nor was he. The day she decided to see him from an unbiased perspective, she realized that he wasn't as bad as she made him out to be. She had never seen past his flaws because of her blind dislike. She had known him for six years but in reality, she never knew him. She only knew the James Potter who she had sculpted in her mind.
She remembered him telling her that someday she'll realize that her feelings for him are as strong as his for her. She had taken it as another one of his pathetic comebacks and laughed in his face.
But he was right, wasn't he?
Who else could get under her skin so easily? Who else could make her blood boil like he did? He didn't even have to speak to get her attention. Not a day passed when she didn't think (complain, more like) about Potter and his antics. Their saga (as Alice had so generously named it) had begun the moment they set eyes on each other.
And the realization came crashing down on her. She had been hooked. From day one. And so was he. They had just chosen to show their interest in the other person in two completely different ways. This boy had been on her mind more than anyone else had ever been.
Is it too late to stop myself from liking him?
Almost after the first half of the lesson was over, Professor Ross stood up from her chair and started walking towards the students. Lily poked James on the shoulder. He mumbled something and shoved her hand away.
"James, get up." she hissed, shaking his shoulder.
"Five minutes, mum." he said.
"Mum? I'm not your mum, Potter. Get up."
He didn't even move. Lily decided enough is enough and poked him in the ribs with her quill. James jumped up and looked around.
"Lily?" he said hoarsely.
"Yes. Lily."
He shook his head and blinked a few times. "Oh, you are the real Lily."
"What do you mean real Lily?" she asked, "Is there another Lily?"
"No. It's just... Never mind, why did you wake me up?" he asked.
"Because the professor is coming this way." she said.
He nodded and rubbed the sleep away from his eyes. The professor stopped in front of their table, looking at James suspiciously. He smiled sweetly at her, chin resting in his hands and elbows propped on the table. Lily bit down on her lip so as not to laugh at the ridiculous look on his face.
"Did you read the topic I asked you to, Mr. Potter?" she asked.
"Yes, professor." he replied, nodding so much that Lily thought his head might get detached from his neck.
Professor Ross didn't seem to believe him. "What form does a person's Patronus take?" she asked.
"An animal." he said immediately, "The form of a person's patronus is a representation of their soul."
The professor cast one last shrewd look in their direction before walking away.
"Have you tried this spell before?" Lily asked James after some time.
"Yeah." he said, "It worked."
"Corporeal patronus?" she asked, amazed.
He nodded. But before Lily could ask him anything else, the bell rang.
Both of them collected their belongings. Lily had just reached the door when James's voice stopped her.
"I can help you when we're practicing the spell if you want." he said.
"I would like that." Lily said and walked out of the class without turning around.
If she had turned, she might have seen James do a little victory dance.
~~~~~
Lily knew something was wrong when she had seen Dorcas come into the common room with red, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. She had to force back the annoyed sigh when she saw Remus follow her inside, his face paler than usual.
He saw Lily there and immediately dashed to the stairs for a quick escape, pretending he didn't see her reading by the fire.
"You can't get out of this that easily, Remus." she said.
He stopped and turned around, the scars on his face seemed more pronounced. Slowly, he walked over to where Lily was sitting and sat down next to her.
"You told her?" she asked.
"About what?" he asked.
"Your, um.. condition?" Lily asked.
"No." he yelped, "Did you?"
"Of course not." she said and he relaxed. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What did you tell her then?"
He sighed. "I told her it won't work. Didn't tell a reason though."
"That's it? Why was she crying then?"
"I don't know. I told her I'm not interested and she just started crying. Girls are so damn confusing." he said.
"She probably thinks she's not good enough for you." Lily said thoughtfully.
Remus snorted. "Not good enough for me?"
"Why do you just always underestimate yourself?" she asked.
She never understood why he blamed himself for everything happening in his life or why he thought he doesn't deserve anything good.
Remus shrugged. "Let's not talk about that, huh? We'll only keep going around in circles."
"Fine." she said, "Are you going home for Christmas?"
He shook his head in negative and leaned back on the couch.
"And the others?" Lily asked tentatively.
He smirked, looking at her sideways. "I don't know about the others, but James is not going home."
"That's not what I meant." Lily defended herself.
"Of course not." Remus said sarcastically.
Lily went back to reading her book, ignoring the way Remus was looking at her and the little smile that was still on his face.
"You like him, don't you?" he asked.
"No." Lily said, her voice rising a pitch, "I mean yes, I like everyone. I'm a good person at heart."
"That's not what I meant." he said, echoing her words.
"I had promised to help Marlene with the Charms homework." she said standing up and swiftly walking to the stairs, "Goodnight, Remus."
"I got my answer, Lily." he called after her.
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A/N : Happy Halloween, everyone!! Also, it's James and Lily's death anniversary (but let's not think about sad stuff now).
I have no intentions of making Remus-Dorcas a thing. I love Ronks way too much.
Did anyone understand why James said "real Lily"?
Is Remus right in discouraging Dorcas? Or is he being selfish?
Do you think Lily is starting to develop a little crush on a certain someone?
Is it going too fast?
~ Lianna