( chapter vi. INFAMOUS DAY )
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Unlike other people her age, Calypso didn't celebrate Halloween. She imagined that Harry didn't either, because for both their families it certainly was not a joyous day. That was the day she lost her aunt and uncle. Well, in the way you just call the people close to your parents those titles but they didn't actually have a blood relation to them. But, that was also the day she practically lost her uncle.
Since she first saw Sirius again, she had been smuggling him food and helping him device a plan to catch – and kill, he added once, which she pretended not to notice – Peter.
Calypso didn't want to hear about murder. The word had always surrounded her, surrounded her family. Her grandfather had been killed. Her uncle, supposedly, was a killer. Her aunt and uncle had been killed. She could kill. Kill, kill, kill. She hated the word, she could never think of doing such an act, and she never wanted to witness such a thing. Calypso pretended she didn't hear Sirius as he murmured it to himself, she didn't want to know. She wanted to live her oblivious life.
No, Halloween for the Blacks was an infamous day, probably for the Potters – at least Harry – too. To the whole wizarding world, it was known and grieved yet celebrated. In the morning, she saw first years bouncing up and down, smiling at the whole time, yet there was no smile on Calypso's face.
"Hey, frowny face," Angelina threw a potato at the girl, "Cheer up. There's a party tonight."
Calypso raised an eyebrow. It had always been Birdie who liked parties, usually herself and Angelina would just stay in one of their dorms and Cho would join the Bishop girl in an attempt to control her. It never worked. "A party?"
The Johnson girl nodded, "Yep. It's in the Ravenclaw common room, Birdie's inviting us."
"Of course I fucking am!" Birdie exclaimed, not caring that anyone could hear her, "I need my girls to be there for me. So come on, Cal, just let loose and have fun tonight."
Cho rolled her eyes, "Please? You two never come. Just this one and I promise we'll never invite you to another."
She weighed her options for a moment. On one hand, she could say no and wallow in this sadness all day with no chance of ever getting over it and then having to deal with the nagging and guilt trips from Birdie. On the other, she could get drunk – because of course they're going to have alcohol – and then she won't have to think about what happened on Halloween all those years ago.
"Sure."
Birdie's mouth dropped open, and to be fair the eyes of the other two girls widened. Calypso rarely ever agreed to go to parties. The loud music gave her a headache and it took too much alcohol to get her drunk, which led to a serious headache in the morning she never wanted to nurse.
"What, really?" Birdie asked, not believing that Calypso fucking Black agreed to a party.
"You don't have to say yes," Angelina stepped in to assure her but she just shook it off.
"Yeah," Calypso shrugged, "It'll be fun. And I need the distraction tonight."
Cho gave a slow blink before being the first to nod and fully accept that Calypso agreed to a party, "Okay. Meet us in front of the Ravenclaw tower at eight tonight. Don't be late."
Merlin, what did she get herself into?
― 🌙 ―
IT WAS SEVEN. She had an hour to get in front of the Ravenclaw tower so that she could be invited inside and go the party. And, with an hour to spare, Calypso finished putting on her lipstick. Nala meowed from her place on the Black girl's bed, causing her to smile and coo at the small creature.
She pet the cat and heard the purrs that escaped it, filling Calypso with such love and adoration for Nala. Really, she couldn't understand why her mum didn't like Nala – she was just too sweet. The peaceful moment was interrupted with a scratch at the door and then a meow.
Calypso frowned, Nala was already in here – right there on her bed where she had just been with her. Still, Calypso went to the door and opened it wide enough for an ugly, ginger cat to trot inside. She turned her back until she heard Regulus' voice, "Hey, Callie."
Her nose wrinkled up in disgust as she looked at her uncle, "Please, for the love of Merlin, don't call me that."
"Awe," he smirked, "What's wrong with Callie? It's so nice and I've always called her that."
"And I've always hated it," she pointed out to her uncle.
"That just makes it more fun to say."
The younger Black rolled her eyes and went back to her bed where Nala was still lying and continued to pet the cat before hearing the gasp from her uncle. "You've replaced me!" he accused.
This caused her to scoff at his ridiculousness, "I did not. Plus, you can't be hurt after not visiting even once during summer."
Regulus gave a defeated look and Calypso continued, this time with a smirk on her own face out of satisfaction, "Plus, I've always wanted a cat of my own. I just now convinced mum to buy me one. Her name is Nala, by the way."
"What an odd name," he commented as he walked over to the bed, peering at the cat.
Calypso snorted, "Says the man named Regulus."
"Good point," her uncle agreed, "So, what are you all dolled up for?"
"Okay, never use that terminology again, please," Calypso grimaced, "And second, I'm meeting up with some friends."
It wasn't lying. Technically. It also wasn't the full truth. She was meeting her friends but if that were the truth and nothing more she wouldn't have bothered with lip gloss or curling her hair so nicely. But she also didn't feel like telling her uncle that she was going to a party. Maybe another time, in a couple years when he probably won't even remember this incident.
"Oh, really?" Regulus inquired and sat down on the bed, startling Nala a bit. At her panicked look, Calypso cooed again. She was just too precious.
"Yep," Calypso nodded to confirm her half-truth.
"That doesn't sound so convincing. But, friends?" he gave a teasing smile.
"It's not like that," she shoved him slightly. "It's just gonna be me, Birdie, Angie, and Cho."
"Mm, of course," and Calypso rolled her eyes at that.
"You're too full of it – there's nothing else to it, believe me," Calypso said.
"Yes, believe a teenage girl. When I was your age I went to parties and did this whole thing with Remelda, she never believed me but still let me go without any other inspection," Regulus reminisced, smiling, "But whatever, go have fun."
Calypso looked at him agape, "How did you –"
"It's the lip-gloss. Signature look of a girl going to a party," Regulus cut her off, "And the lower cut shirt. Don't worry, I won't tell your mum."
"I'm not – it's not a party!" Calypso tried in vain, but the look on Regulus' face told her that he didn't believe a word.
"Really, now? Because I certainly remember parties back when I was in school and you meet all the criteria. Either that or you're going on a date," her uncle continued.
Calypso was silent for a moment, soaking in the information more. Her uncle went to parties, both of them had to because of what she had heard about Sirius, but what about her mother? She certainly didn't seem like the type to enjoy such things, but she could never be sure. Her mother was such a mystery, one that could never be solved. Remelda kept too many secrets, but Calypso had to admit that she did the same.
"Fine. You're right," Calypso admitted, knowing there was no reason to keep fighting for a lie she was obviously caught in, "I am going to a party."
The man cheered, lighting up like a child who had just been handed candy. "Yes! I knew it!" It seemed so childish, reminded Calypso of herself and her cousins when they were younger, and she felt for a moment that adults she shouldn't act that way. But Regulus didn't have the chance of this as a child, had that ripped away from him since birth, so she didn't comment a thing about it.
She looked at the mirror once again, considering her look. She raised a hand and on the underside of her arm she saw the scars, the claw marks that had been on her skin since she was ten, that was when the first slash there appeared. It just continued from there, more scars appearing on that spot.
Regulus noticed them in the mirror too and his eyebrows furrowed, "Where did those come from?"
Blacks were included on the secrets of their family, that was what her mother said when young Calypso asked why Remelda was telling her about Sirius – how he wasn't a killer. Blacks were included on the secrets of their family, Remelda said.
But that did not mean everyone knew. Sirius did not know about Regulus' existence, Regulus did not know of his brother's innocence, and Calypso did not know of everything that surrounded the "death" of Regulus – there was still a lot that she did not know. Remelda said that even though the first statement was true, that if the truth harmed another that it did not have to be shared. Knowing your niece was a werewolf was endangering.
(There was also the truth that Calypso was just too scared to tell him.)
"Oh," Calypso thought of a lie, "I went into the woods two summers ago with Leo – he's our neighbor – and I slipped and fell on a sharp stick. It cut my arm pretty deep, was nasty when it happened."
Regulus also did not know of Leo and Maia. That was also specifically reserved to herself and Remelda.
"Well," she checked her clock, "I better be off. You should, too."
Calypso went to the door only to be stopped by Regulus again before she could turn the knob, "Be careful and don't get too drunk."
The young Black girl smiled, a little sinister one and she was glad that he couldn't see it, "I never do."
When she left the room, she kept the door slightly open, seeing a ginger cat appear out of the room after she left. She bounced down the stairs and was glad that people in the common room were too engrossed in their own conversations to notice her. She knew they would point, they always did now.
She wondered what time it was when they were murdered. Would they already be dead? She knew that James and Lily Potter were murdered at night, but how late? All her mum could say was that it was late enough for children to still be trick-or-treating but too late to be eating dinner, although during summer they always ate at ten, when she and Sirius found out they were dead, the details on 'how' still murky. But could they already be dead?
Twelve years ago that day, were they already dead? Were they dying? Or was it the moments right before the death? And now, twelve years later, Calypso Black was going to a party. It seemed so wrong when she thought of it in this new light, to be partying when her aunt and uncle were dying twelve years ago, but she tried to justify it with the fact that all she knew of them were stories. Just stories. She had never personally known them because she was too young to remember when they were alive.
It was okay to party.
Calypso didn't wait to walk with Angelina to the Ravenclaw tower, and she knew it was alright since the Johnson girl was already there by the time that she arrived.
"I waited for you for, like, ten minutes!" Angelina said when she saw Calypso, no greeting beforehand, "Thought you had bailed so I just started over here myself."
Calypso smiled, "Don't worry about it. My hair wouldn't cooperate so it took a little longer to get ready than usual."
"Ugh, do I know that problem. Well, your hair looks great if that helps," Angelina complimented and a small part of Calypso felt like blushing, there was also an accompaniment of another feeling inside that struck. Calypso could not name it though so she thought it best to ignore.
"Thanks, Ang," Calypso said, "I'm just glad that I don't have any assignments due tomorrow."
Angelina laughed, "Lucky you. I have Potions tomorrow and you know that Snape loves to give us work. I had to finish it once my Muggle Arts class ended. But I also have Quidditch practice tomorrow and I know that's gonna be a real killer."
"Do you mean that Oliver Wood let you come to a party when Quidditch season is almost here?" Calypso asked in the most dramatic tone she could.
"No, come on," Angelina shoved her slightly, "but what Wood doesn't know doesn't hurt him. And it already is Quidditch season."
"No it isn't. Not until the first game – that's the beginning of Quidditch season," Calypso disagreed.
Angelina scoffed and rolled her eyes, "You're impossible," she commented without so much looking in Calypso's direction. The Black girl just giggled.
Then, the door to the Ravenclaw tower opened and out popped Birdie, who was smiling brightly. "You're just in time! Ian Kenning's older brother – Grant – is about to lip sync to the Weird Sisters."
The other two girls laughed and ushered inside the room, one of the Ravenclaws instantly handing them both a cup full of alcohol – probably firewhiskey. And the nice thing about everyone drinking meant everyone was getting drunk and no one recognized her. For a moment, Calypso felt like any other teenage girl getting drunk, even at the ripe age of fourteen.
Quickly, she downed the drink, not missing the alarmed look on Angelina's face. "Slow down there, tiger," she commented, "We have all night for that."
"I don't care. I just wanna get drunk as quick as I can," Calypso replied and she was extremely happy that her dad was not in any associated with Ravenclaw and wouldn't catch her doing this. Maybe another professor would, but she could scramble out of there without being caught, hopefully. She didn't want to think about what Remelda would do to her.
Angelina opened her mouth to comment but Birdie saved her just in the nick of time, grabbing her arm and shouting, "Come on, Cal, dance with me!"
Calypso made no attempt to break away, happy to get away from any other questions. The two went into the middle of the common room where couches were probably supposed to be but had been moved to the side. They danced and laughed at the song choices, glancing over at Grant Kennings who was still lip syncing to the songs, probably not even realizing it because of how drunk he was.
Eventually, someone placed another drink in their hands and Calypso didn't waste time downing that one either. This wasn't her first time drinking, remembering when she was young and her mum had gotten a little too tipsy and offered her beer to Calypso who took it without even realizing what it was.
She didn't like beer. It didn't taste good.
When she took the drink down from her face, the contents already gone, Birdie was giving her a concerned stare. "Look, I know that today's hard for you but you don't have to get drunk," she whispered, "I don't wanna see you do something you'll regret. Just...let loose."
"I am. This is how I let loose," Calypso said, suddenly uncomfortable.
Birdie was probably the only one out of their friend group who knew the most about what Halloween meant to Calypso. She didn't just lose her uncle that day, she lost James and Lily. She lost the sparkle in her mum's eyes, a lightness, but that could also be due to the divorce. Calypso blamed both.
Sighing, Birdie said, "Fine. Just – just don't do anything stupid. I'm gonna check up on Cho."
Then, she was alone. Calypso huffed. She wasn't going to do anything stupid, she knew she wasn't, she was fine. Everything was fine.
Calypso left the middle of the room where everyone was dancing. Suddenly, she wasn't in the mood anymore. She poured herself another drink, though, maybe that would help. Indeed, it did and soon she felt the tenseness in her shoulders leave and all the harsh thoughts about Halloween and Birdie and Angelina – everything – leave her mind and she let herself sway to the music.
Someone came up near her and started to dance with her but she couldn't tell who. Her vision was blurring and she didn't care to ask for a moment, she just wanted to forget. No words were exchanged and she didn't know where her friends her but it didn't seem that important to her as she just let herself let go and dance.
They moved closer together and she didn't know what was happening and she didn't want to either. Calypso found herself smiling though. Finally, there was someone who wasn't asking her questions or trying to manage her. Someone who didn't care about her getting drunk and running away from her problems – someone who was willing to let her get drunk, let loose, and forget. Finally.
His face was inches from her when she felt herself being ripped off him, looking at a wild Angelina. Behind the girl were her other friends, looking almost disappointed even though she swore she saw Cho doing the same thing on minutes ago. Was it minutes? Was it longer?
"What the hell?" Calypso complained as they dragged her off.
"I leave you alone for ten minutes with the instruction not to do anything stupid and then we find you with that guy?" Birdie ignored her previous question.
"We were just dancing," Calypso rolled her eyes, she didn't understand why it was such a big deal to them.
Angelina scoffed, but instead of anger in her eyes it was mostly hurt – but why? "You were almost kissing him, and what do think he'd want after you kissed him?"
"I wouldn't let that happen," she tried to fight but truthfully she didn't know.
"Really?" Angelina asked, "You're drunk, Calypso, so how would you really fight him off?"
Calypso scoffed that time, "You're one to talk. Wasn't it only at the end of last year you were bragging about fucking Howard Purnell? And you, Cho, how can you be mad? Birdie just had to save you."
She didn't mean any of it. Calypso, if sober, would've never reacted that way but she was drunk; she didn't hold anything back.
"Calypso, it's not because of that," Cho said, "I'm sober, I knew what I was doing with that guy, but you...well, clearly you're not."
"I can't believe you," was all that Calypso could respond with. Why was everyone turning away from her, especially Angelina. She was always the one to encourage her yet now...now here she was antagonizing her.
Angelina, who seemed not able to stand her presence anymore, went off and left the Ravenclaw common room and Cho followed after her, calling out her name the whole time. Calypso just crossed her arms, "I don't see why it's such a big deal to her."
Birdie sighed, "It's more than anything you did. Just give her time and she'll come around."
More than her dancing with a guy? Calypso's eyebrows furrowed and she looked at the girl, "What does that mean?"
"It's not my secret to tell," and ouch. That hurt. Her friends were keeping a secret from her that seemed to somehow involve her. Ouch. But, she reasoned, she couldn't be mad when she had her own secrets that she kept from all of them.
Still, it didn't stop her heart from clenching.
"I just wanted to forget," Calypso confessed, every drunken part of her gone now as she looked ashamed towards Birdie.
Birdie nodded and pursed her lips, "I know."
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
"I know."
"Will Angie ever forgive me? I didn't mean to..."
"I know, and she does too," Birdie said, "She's just hurt right now. Cho is too. They'll forgive you, just...sending them a nice apology gift and give a long speech about how much of an idiot you are."
This caused a smile to appear on Calypso's face. "Thanks, Birdie, for not leaving."
Instantly, Birdie's hand caught Calypso's and she stared the girl dead in her eyes, "Never."
And Calypso felt in that moment that she could face everything. While Sirius might favor Harry over her, she was Birdie's number one. The girl would never leave her, never go back on their friendship. She knew she could tell the girl anything, anything, but that didn't mean she would.