Trans Boy

By skeletondrummer

37.3K 703 92

The idea of being sent to a 'straight camp' for the entire summer sounded absurd. Nothing about it made the s... More

missing chapters
idk what to call this one
twelve. accusations don't make friends
thirteen. fun doesn't hurt
fourteen. have some faith
fifteen. bonfires leak secrets
really unimportant a/n ✏️
sixteen. calm storm on a wild sea
seventeen. depression is the best anticure
eighteen. letters to the dead
nineteen. water is thicker than blood
twenty. just like a married couple
twenty-one. this is all we have
twenty-two. a classic case of teenage angst
update?
twenty-three. going home

eleven. swimsuits and binders

2.6K 60 10
By skeletondrummer

@-BrokenToken-

imma give a shout out to -BrokenToken- (it won't let me actually tag them for some shit reason, so sorry fam but also thank you for the idea for this chapter), thank, hon. i was literally so stuck with this chapter. without them i'd prolly have posted my shit ass chapter that was more of a filler than any filler.

i have the last chapter planned for this but fuck i don't know how to get there. whatever. maybe i'll start posting this as in like more than a day apart for the campers bc like idk what to keep doing. really, though, posting ideas or things you wanna see or just thought might work is a serious help on me and makes this story more unique bc like it's not just ideas from me? if that makes any sense? i think?

thank

(ha it did fucking let me tag them. ha. i was going to do it. sorry for the delay, but thank you, dude, for the actually really good idea).

i didn't edit this, i wrote it last night at midnight and then just now before class. have fun with this shitfest.

- - - -

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Carlos laughed, leaning to the left as he kept walking. Zaila was pushing against him enough that he was almost run off the trail, but forced him to also keep walking. I watched in amusement but made no move to help Carlos. He was on his own.

I looked back at Rhonni and Amy. They weren't paying attention to either Carlos or Zaila, but instead, Amy was telling Rhonni about some of the plant life on the side of the trail. She didn't stop, but kept pointing to them and telling her about them. It was kind of pointless, because Rhonni was deaf, so she either had to watch Amy talk, or look at the plant - so either way she was missing something. She shot me a quick glance, smirking when I did at Amy's enthusiasm. It was nice that she was trying, wasn't it? I thought so.

"Damn right you are," Zaila said in fake anger. She still leant against Carlos, one arm over his shoulders and the other messing with her towel. They were both wearing swim suits, and they were both acting like they were completely comfortable with each other and, like, everyone else. I looked down at myself, wondering what they thought about me.

I was grateful for Adam giving me a new binder that I could wear swimming. It was a bit looser so I could breathe and move easier, but it still felt weird. Seeing my chest flat with a t-shirt pulled tight over it and still no outline over my chest was impressive and made me feel amazing. I loved it. But I knew it wouldn't last. Mum and Dad weren't going to be happy if they knew I'd continued to insist being called Danny or Daniel. They weren't going to treat me like their son, but they were going to treat me like trash.

I didn't notice that Carlos and Zaila had not only stopped talking but stopped walking until I passed them and Zaila shouted at me. I stopped immediately, looking up to see Rhonni and Amy watching me curiously.

"What's up?" Zaila asked cautiously and casually. She was good at hiding her concern when it could affect someone else. I didn't see why she needed to hide it, though, because I wasn't in a problematic situation.

"What?" I asked, not able to make it sound as much like a question as I had wanted. I looked between the four of them before laughing nervously. "What?"

"You, uh, your. . ." Carlos looked flustered and uncomfortable. I felt flustered and uncomfortable.

Part of my parents' concern was that they thought I wanted attention. That I was doing this so people would notice me. But that wasn't it at all. I really didn't like attention like this. Even if it came from friends as close as Carlos and Zaila. It made me feel like I was under a spotlight and expected to do tricks.

Carlos used his hands to motion around his chest and I took that as his way of saying my binder without saying it. They could talk about it. It wasn't like they were ridiculing me.

"The binder?" I asked slowly, my voice almost a squeak rather than an actual voice.

"Yeah," he said softly.

"What about it?"

"Why're you so focused on it?" Zaila asked with a little less thought than Carlos had used. Neither Amy nor Rhonni spoke during this, just stood back watching curiously. I didn't expect them to talk. We'd only talked a few times and I was sure they were lost in the matter.

I shrugged. "'S just weird, I guess." I looked down and realised my voice was still in the almost squeak it had been just a second before. I looked at the binder. It looked like there was still a curve around my chest; a bump almost. But when I looked at pictures or reflections or anything like that, it looked perfectly flat. Lots of campers remarked on it, but I assumed they'd all known I was wearing a binder and wanted to make me feel better about it or myself. That's what a couple of my friends did back in Seattle.

Zaila stood beside me, hooking her arm around mine. Carlos quickly did the same with my other arm. I laughed, looking at Zaila before looking at Carlos, and then Rhonni and Amy, who did the same thing with Carlos and Zaila. What was happening? I smiled involuntarily, looking at them each as we started walking.

Amy, who stood beside Zaila, walked dramatically and caused Zaila to follow suit. She would do anything to be dramatic or make someone laugh. But it was a good dramatic. I appreciated it.

I also appreciated what they were doing. I didn't realise they were trying to distract me, but it worked. With Carlos and Rhonni mimicking Amy and Zaila, that left me to do the same. And I did. I didn't realise it, but we were all smiling and laughing, tight against each other so we could fit on the already tiny trail.

When Amy almost fell into the forest, Zaila and I pulled towards Carlos and Rhonni to pull her back in, causing momentum to throw us against him and Rhonni. She didn't laugh, but her smile was enormous and I knew she'd laugh if she could. It was a great gesture.

"What's going on with your cabin?" Amy asked, pointing ahead with the arm hooked in Zaila's. She unhooked her arm, squinting in hopes of avoiding the sun. We all slowly broke apart, Carlos jogging ahead and leaving us all where we stood. I had no idea what was going on, but I could see Jango, Adam, and Laura - and they looked pissed.

Amy and Rhonni stayed behind as Zaila and I finished the small bit of our walk left. The door to the cabin was open and I could see Jeremy inside with a couple other people I didn't recognise. Jango looked upset.

"What's-" Carlos went to repeat Amy's question only for Jango to hold her hand up immediately.

"Don't." She said with finality. She looked like she'd been crying, her eyes red and slightly puffy. She hugged herself and looked at Adam, who held his hands on his hips like an angry parent. Like one of my angry parents.

I didn't realise it until I'd done it, but I stepped back slowly, giving us some space. I didn't know what they were upset about, or what was happening, or how he'd react, but I didn't want to take chances. It was only Mum who got violent at home, but I didn't know anyone here quite that well. Chances like this weren't worth taking.

"Found 'em!" Jeremy shouted from inside. Jango breathed in a sharp breath before pushing past Adam and going inside. He looked at Zaila and I, but didn't speak. As if they'd been called, Chrissie, Roami and Cody showed up. Emerson was nowhere to be seen.

Behind Roami was Theo, who looked through us before settling on me. He made an almost relieved face as he walked over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "What's happening?"

"I dunno - none of us do." My voice was a whisper. The smile my friends had put on my face was gone and I felt sick. I didn't like what was happening, whatever it was.

"Alright, we need to have a talk," Laura said, sounding more than disappointed. She held a little bag of something close to her side, hiding it from view. "Go down to the Pit, now."

No one moved. I couldn't. What was happening? What did she have? Why were they calling a sudden meeting?

"Let's go! Come on!" Laura shouted, her face turning red almost immediately. It was a stark contrast to her white hair. We all shuffled down the path quickly, taking whatever other campers we came upon. Laura called the other counsellors, paged them, did whatever she had to to get them down with their own cabins. Amy, Rhonni and Theo sat with our cabin by the pit as we waited for the other groups to join.

I sat between Roami and Theo. Theo kept trying to ask us what was going on and what we were doing, but each time he talked he was hushed by another counsellor or one of us. No one wanted to hear what he had to say or think about it. I knew we were in trouble for something, but I didn't know what.

That meant I couldn't be blamed, right? Since I didn't know what was going on? I couldn't be linked to it? Right. I wasn't a part of this. It was something to do with somebody else. Not me.

"Where's Emerson?" Chrissie whispered, leaning forward. We were sitting in a row on a wet log, shivering and trying to pretend like the sun was warm enough. We were the ones who'd gone swimming - the others were fine except for sitting on the wet log.

"Here," Theo whispered while the counsellors spoke, taking his jacket off and pressing it into my hands. I tried to hand it back, insisted he keep it, but he wouldn't take it. He looked forward and pretended like he couldn't hear me. I sighed and looked at it. It was a simple light yellow jacket with stretched arms. I pulled it on, grateful for the little bit of warmth it provided for my torso, and ignored the brief breezes.

"They're soaking. Can't we at least let them change?" I heard Jango argue, pointing back at us while Chloe and her cabin appeared. They looked just as clueless as we were, standing around in a small huddle until Laura instructed them to sit across from us on another log. It looked like it was about to rain again.

Jango's idea was great. If we had to sit here, couldn't we at least go back and get some clothes? She didn't look back at us, but I pleaded silently that she would. Or for Laura to let us go back.

"No. You know that. There were drugs in their cabin and you know as well as I do that they cannot be permitted back into their cabin right now." She tried to speak quietly to the counsellors, but instantly there was an outbreak of hushed whispers, the most prominant word being 'drugs.'

"What?"

This came from a boy in Adam's cabin named Mike. His voice was a lot deeper than someone as tall and thin as him would usually have. I looked up in shock, seeing that the others were looking at him as well. His outburst seemed more dramatic than need be, but that was probably just the skeptic in me. It sounded like he was trying to cover up for something with his outburst, but it made a bit of an outbreak in the other campers.

"Yeah, drugs? Is that why we're here?"

"Wait, did you say drugs?" A girl asked suddenly, her own group having just stepped into earshot of the Pit. "Is that why we were dragged out of activities?"

With them, it looked like most everyone was back. It was good enough for Laura, because she stood at the stump at the 'front' of the circle. "Alright, sit down and shut up."

And everyone did without hesitation. If they weren't already sitting, they were down. If there wasn't a spot, they were on the floor or sitting on a friend. The questions or conversations we'd been having ceased instantly and Laura had everyone's complete attention as soon as she'd spoken.

"Yes, there have been drugs found. It doesn't matter what cabin they came from," I shrank back a little, feeling like all eyes turned to our cabin group. We'd been the first ones here and we definitely did look guilty. "The problem is who they came from and where they got them."

"This should be simple," Jeremy spoke up. He looked scary and his voice was deep. I knew Laura had asked him to speak because he was intimidating. I definitely scared me. "Who brought these?"

He didn't look at us like he thought it was us. He didn't look at us first, and it took the instant blame off our backs. It had to be from our cabin, though, because that's where they'd found it.

"Where's Emerson?" Carlos asked quietly, looking at all of us in question. Roami shrugged and put an arm around Cody, who leaned into her and looked at the ground. I didn't want to think it was Emerson, but it would make sense. Most everyone was here - except them.

I especially didn't want to say it was Emerson because they looked or acted like someone who did drugs, but the Christian in me told me it had to be them. And the logic, since they were magically not here during the. . . whatever this was. Interrogation? No, this wasn't really an interrogation.

"Alright, fine. We'll search all of your bags, your persons, and see what we find. I hope there isn't more," Jeremy sighed. I hated the disappointment in his voice. He looked at our group, his eyes settling on mine. I stared back at him, unwilling to look away before him. I hadn't done anything wrong - I certainly hadn't brought the drugs -, but his stare made me feel compelled to confess and tell him I'd done it. If anything it would get this over with and let the other groups out.

When no one owned up after that, we got up again and went back to our cabins. Jango and Laura followed us on the walk. It was silent and uncomfortable. I didn't like it much. I didn't like this situation at all, though, and I don't think anyone else did either.

"What the fuck, guys?" Jango asked in an exasperated tone once we got inside. We squeezed together in a couple of bunks by the window when we got inside, Jango standing by the door. She crossed her arms, only moving her hand to cover her face for a second. She looked at us with a serious expression and sighed again.

Laura stood beside her without speaking, her own arms crossed. Even though Jango looked less like someone of authority because of the way she stood, she gave off more of an upset vibe. I didn't know what to say. I hated knowing she was so disappointed in us.

"Like seriously. What the fuck. Why would any of you have weed? Or bring it to a fucking summer camp?" She asked, looking at us all individually. I looked away when she got to me, looking at my feet instead. Whoever's bed this was, it was wet now thanks to the three of us sitting on it in our swimsuits.

All of our bags had been taken. "Where's our stuff?" I asked, my voice still too light and soft.

"Under examination," Jango spat simply. I nodded. Who had they found weed on? Who had brought weed? I wouldn't be surprised if any of them smoked, but bringing it to a place like this? No one here was stupid enough to do that.

"Can we have some other clothes?" Zaila asked. She didn't sound too affected by this. Maybe just irritated. I didn't blame her.

Laura left at that and I hoped she would be bringing us more clothes.

"Where is Emerson?" Jango asked.

I shrugged, knowing no one else was going to answer. We didn't know.

"Wonderful. Well, it was their bag we found the first bag of weed in," she said. Her voice was simple and easy, like this was no big deal. There was a hint of something else underneath it, though. I didn't like it.

"First?" Cody squeaked.

Jango nodded. "Yeah, first. We found three bags in total, from three of you."

"Who?" I asked.

"Emerson, Zaila, and Roami. You three had bags hidden in your beds, in your clothes, and in a makeup container."

No one spoke. I felt absolutely sick. What was happening? It had been so long since we'd been here. I figured there were some kids here who smoked weed, or drank, but I didn't think they'd be stupid enough to bring it here. It was just three months. They couldn't need a drug or alcohol that badly.

"I'm really disappointed," Jango said. "Just. . . So you all know. I wish you'd make better decisions."

Laura tossed some clothes at Carlos, Zaila and I, not very polite about it but also not too rude about it. I eagerly took the wet shirt off, pulling on the much too big grey shirt she'd provided instead. It was dry and warm, so I was grateful for it.

"For tonight, you'll be staying in the rec room," Laura said. "You'll bring your sleeping bags and be provided with clothing. Tomorrow we'll handle this more. For now, let's go to dinner."

She left at that, not waiting for us. Which was good seeing as none of us followed. Instead we all stayed silent and waited to see if she would say anything.

"You can't stay in here." She spoke softly, her voice barely even a voice. "Lets go. We'll call your parents tomorrow." It was so even and bland - I hated it. Jango was always so happy and easygoing.

What the hell had they done?

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