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blakerossi bali, let's have some fun
shawnmendes you look supah cute
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It had been almost 3 months since Christmas in Toronto and I hadn't seen Shawn since the beginning of January when we went to Florida to Harry Potter World.
It was weird not being with him everyday, but he had to get back to the studio and I had to give him space. He wanted me to stay longer but I refused to distract him.
My birthday was coming up and Shawn said he had special plans for us. I couldn't even think of what he had planned. I told him I was fine with us just staying a few nights at my apartment, but he insisted his surprise was much better.
There was rarely a night when Shawn and I didn't FaceTime and when we didn't we at least sat on the phone for a few minutes before we went off to do whatever we had to do. I missed him a lot.
The two weeks he spent with me in New York and the three weeks I spent with him in Toronto and Florida were the best weeks of my life. I never wanted to leave but I knew Shawn had to get to work and I would have a few shoots coming up.
Even after 4 months of Shawn and I denying that we were a couple, the rumors were still floating around the media and it was as annoying as ever. I don't know why Shawn and I couldn't just go out and people not understand that we're not romantically together.
Though the longer I spent with Shawn, the more I started to notice the cute details about him. Like how he threw his head back and clapped when he found something really funny. Or when he wouldn't look me in the eyes when he was talking about his feelings because he felt vulnerable. Or when he would just randomly start singing what was on his mind or what he was doing. The longer I spent with Shawn, the more I felt myself catching feelings for him.
It was something I knew I would have to push away because one, Shawn and I could never be a thing. Mainly because he's Shawn Mendes and I'm just Blake. Shawn had so many other girls throwing themselves at him and he could choose whoever he wanted, though I knew he wasn't really looking for a relationship right now. That's reason number 2. Shawn's too busy with his new album and tour rehearsals to worry about a relationship. And finally 3: Shawn had made it clear plenty of times that we are just best friends.
Spending so many months away from Shawn did help the fact that I was catching feelings for him, because if I was away from him it wouldn't be as strong. That didn't stop the smile from appearing on my face when I saw his name and contact picture pop up on my phone.
My lockscreen was a picture of the both of us on Christmas sitting in front of the Christmas tree. It slowly became my favorite picture. I liked it even more than the picture of us with Winnie the Pooh at Disneyland. And even more than the multiple pictures we took at Harry Potter World.
February was slowly coming to an end and I was starting to prepare for my next shoot in March. It was gonna be in Manila, which worked out perfectly because Shawn had a few shows in Manila to wrap up the Shawn World Tour.
Ivy had decided to stay with her parents after going home only to find out that her dad was terminally ill. I completely understood because when I found out my dad was terminally ill, my entire world fell apart. I hadn't seen her since the beginning of December and I missed her so much.
It really sucked being here all alone. At least with Ivy living next door I had someone to talk to every once in a while. I didn't even have Sammy anymore because my apartment building had a new rule about no pets being allowed.
I was slowly driving myself into a sadness I couldn't even describe. All I cared about was training because that's really all I had to do.
•
"Okay, Blake are you ready?" Shawn asked through screen of my MacBook.
"I'm ready, Shawn." I laughed and sat back on my bed and adjusting my laptop so I could see better.
"So, I'm kind of on my way to New York right now. But-"
"What?" I asked, my face lighting up.
"Let me finish, shh. But I need you to pack really fast and meet me at the airport, okay?" Shawn started laughing and I put my hands over my mouth.
"I don't understand-" He told me he wasn't gonna be here until tomorrow on my actual birthday.
"Blake! Get packing, hurry!" Shawn hung up and I closed my laptop.
Shawn was on his way to New York and I was gonna see him in a matter of hours. I grabbed my suitcase from under my bed and started throwing random clothes into it. I had no idea where we were going so I didn't really know what to pack.
The weird thing is that it was getting really late in New York so I didn't know what possessed him to hop on a plane over here.
When I finished packing, I took a shower and did my hair how I usually did. I put on a hoodie of Shawn's and some sweatpants before sliding my shoes on and waiting in my living room for Shawn to text me.
When he told me he'd be landing in an hour, I found myself in an uber on the way to the airport.
When I got there, I waited outside his gate, butterflies filling my stomach. I hadn't seen him in so long and I couldn't wait to just hug him when he came off his plane.
I fiddled my thumbs in my lap, a million thoughts running through my mind about what it'd be like to see Shawn again and what he had planned for the next few days.
"Blake!" I looked up when I heard Shawn call my name and my body got a strange feeling through it.
Shawn had his suitcase in his hands but he let go and held his arms open for me. I stood up and hesitated a little before running towards him.
His arms wrapped around my waist and he lifted me up when I hugged him tightly. I truly missed him and to be in his presence again felt absolutely incredible.
"I missed you so much, B." Shawn said, under his breath as he set me down.
"I missed you too," I replied.
He grabbed his suitcase and then we started walking towards the next gate. Shawn and I had to check our bags in and I still didn't know where we were going. We just got onto a plane and took off.
I fell asleep quickly though, considering I was up at 6AM to train and then I spent the entire day cleaning my apartment. I was exhausted.
Shawn shook me awake after I don't even know how long and I looked up at him, realizing my legs were pulled into my chest and I was leaning into Shawn, my head on his shoulder.
"Did you sleep?" I asked, sitting up.
"Yeah, I did. But look." Shawn pointed to the window I was sitting next to and I looked out.
My jaw dropped and I looked over at him before doing a double take out the window, "Shawn, what the hell?"
Under us was blue water and a ton of green. I couldn't tell if we were in Hawaii or some other place, all I knew is that I was already in love.
"Happy birthday," Shawn put his hand over mine and gave me the sweetest smile, "I really wanted you to wake up somewhere new on your birthday. So Blake, meet Bali."
"Bali? Shawn, I don't even know what to say." I leaned forward and kissed his cheek without even thinking. When I had actually realized that I just kissed his cheek, my heart skipped a beat and I could feel my cheeks getting really red.
"Don't say anything. Just relax and enjoy. I think we're gonna have some fun here." He said, squeezing my hand.
•
After we landed, we were taken to a house right on the beach. It was absolutely beautiful and Shawn and I would be here by ourselves here for the next few days. I don't know what that would mean for me, but I needed to focus on keeping my feelings out of it.
Shawn and I unpacked our clothes and put them in the dressers and closets. After all, it would be home for the next few days.
When we finished unpacking we decided to walk down to the beach. It was such a nice day out and it didn't feel too hot but it was still warm enough to swim. I was smart enough to pack my swim suit just in case. Luckily, it was gonna come in hand.
"I still can't believe you did this for me." I said as we were walking.
"Of course I did. You deserve to have the best birthday in the world. 19 is a big year, you know?" He said.
We set our stuff down in the sand and laid our towels out, "You're still 18. You're such a baby."
"I'm almost 19. I'm only 7 months older than you." He said as we sat on the towels.
I looked out at the water, sighing happily at how beautiful it was. This was hands down the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. Shawn literally brought me across the world to somewhere I had talked about going. He always payed attention to the little things and it made me so happy.
"Seriously, thank you." I looked over at him.
"I'm serious, it's nothing. I just wanted you to have a good day." He answered. "I've been writing a new song.. I think it's gonna be my next single."
"When can I hear it?" I asked.
I loved when Shawn told me how his music was going. It was the most important thing to him so therefore it was the most important thing to me. It was his entire life and I know how much time and effort he put into making sure every last thing on an album or song was perfect.
"You can hear it when it drops. Which will be soon. I'm gonna get into a studio in LA with Andrew to see if it works out." Shawn explained, a teasing smile on his face.
"Well, I'm sure it's gonna be great. I can't wait." I said standing up. I held my hands out and looked down at him, "Let's get in."
Shawn took my hands and I pulled him up. I took my shorts and shirt off and Shawn took his shirt off. I hated being around Shawn when he was shirtless simply because he looked so damn good and it was hard for me not to stare at him. But I'm pretty sure that was any girl.
I did my usual glance and started walking towards the water, Shawn following behind me.
I turned back to look at him and he splashed water at me. I laughed and splashed back at him, turning my face when he started hitting the water rapidly causing it to go everywhere.
I honestly didn't care that he was splashing me since I was gonna get wet anyways. I made my way through the splashed and grabbed his arm, pulling him forward. I fell backwards into the water and he fell next to me. We both started laughing and sat up.
The water was to my chest just sitting there. I stopped and looked at him, admiring his features. I wanted to stop crushing on him so badly, but it was so hard. Especially when he decides to up and take me to Bali for my birthday.
Shawn was the sweetest, most caring and humble person in the world. Anyone who said otherwise would have to be out of their minds.
"You should come visit soon. My parents and Aaliyah miss you." Shawn said. He smiled and I knew he had caught me staring.
"Yeah, that sounds fun. Karen's been texting me a lot lately." I replied, looking down at the water, amazed at how blue and clear it was.
Karen and I had gotten really close over the past few months. She texted me every day to ask how my day went and was always excited when I told her about new shoots and interviews I had coming up. She was genuinely like a mom and it was oddly comforting.
"She really likes you. She loves hearing me talk about you and she is honestly so happy I brought you home to meet her." He laughed and leaned back a little, putting his weight on his hands behind him.
"I like her a lot too. She's so comforting and like proud of me I guess. I never really had a mother figure growing up, it's nice having her be so supportive of me." I told him.
After many hours in the sun and Shawn getting sun burnt after I told him multiple times to put sunscreen on, we made our way back up to the beach house.
We took turns showering and then changed into our PJs for the night and lay down in bed to watch a movie. I didn't care at this point what we watched, I was just tired and wanted to relax.
We ended up watching some of the first season of The Vampire Diaries because I had already finished all 8 seasons and Shawn was still behind. I guess he just wanted to watch it from the beginning together.
"You know, it's weird having you like... around." Shawn said, turning his head to look at me.
I looked down at him since I was sitting up against the headboard, my eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"Like.. you're just there for me. I don't have that much now that I've grown so much as an artist. It's hard to find people who like me for me. And you clearly do. At least I think you do." He explained, looking back at the TV. He never ever looked me in the eyes when he talked about his feelings and I just wish he would.
I ran my fingers through his hair, sighing, "Of course I like you for you, Shawn. You're everything and more that I could ask for in a friend and I'm so thankful to have you in my life."
"I just love spending time with you and being around you and talking to you. If that were to ever stop, I'd be so sad." Shawn was still looking at the TV, refusing to look at me.
I continued to run my fingers through his hair a sad look on my face, "I love spending time with you too. You're really all I have now, you know? Andrea is moving on to bigger and better things and is always so busy. Ivy is busy with her dad, so you're all I talk to.
"If I ever lost you as a friend," I paused looking away from him even though he wasn't looking at me, "I'd probably lose myself."
Shawn sat up and took my hands, turning to face me. He tilted my face to look him and actually made eye contact with me.
"Listen to me, Blake. You will never lose me as a friend okay? I promise that. If you ever lose me as a friend, then that means that I've lost myself. And if you ever lose yourself, I would go insane." Shawn tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and my heart fluttered, "I don't know what I'd do if you lost yourself. It would tear me apart."
I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Shawn. My eyes were watering and I didn't want him to see that. Shawn was the best thing that had ever happened to me in all honesty. There was no way I would have been able to make it through Paris alone. There was no way I'd be able to make it through another Christmas alone.
Shawn was slowly and surely becoming my lifeline and I was slowly and surely falling way harder than I should for him.
•
y'all blake getting in her feels. ALSO IM CHOKING BECAUSE I JUST SAW THIS HAS OVER 200 READS LMAO EHAT THE FUCK YALL ARE SO COOL ILY ALL
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