birthdays in bali

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blakerossi   bali, let's have some fun

shawnmendes   you look supah cute

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It had been almost 3 months since Christmas in Toronto and I hadn't seen Shawn since the beginning of January when we went to Florida to Harry Potter World.

It was weird not being with him everyday, but he had to get back to the studio and I had to give him space. He wanted me to stay longer but I refused to distract him.

My birthday was coming up and Shawn said he had special plans for us. I couldn't even think of what he had planned. I told him I was fine with us just staying a few nights at my apartment, but he insisted his surprise was much better.

There was rarely a night when Shawn and I didn't FaceTime and when we didn't we at least sat on the phone for a few minutes before we went off to do whatever we had to do. I missed him a lot.

The two weeks he spent with me in New York and the three weeks I spent with him in Toronto and Florida were the best weeks of my life. I never wanted to leave but I knew Shawn had to get to work and I would have a few shoots coming up.

Even after 4 months of Shawn and I denying that we were a couple, the rumors were still floating around the media and it was as annoying as ever. I don't know why Shawn and I couldn't just go out and people not understand that we're not romantically together.

Though the longer I spent with Shawn, the more I started to notice the cute details about him. Like how he threw his head back and clapped when he found something really funny. Or when he wouldn't look me in the eyes when he was talking about his feelings because he felt vulnerable. Or when he would just randomly start singing what was on his mind or what he was doing. The longer I spent with Shawn, the more I felt myself catching feelings for him.

It was something I knew I would have to push away because one, Shawn and I could never be a thing. Mainly because he's Shawn Mendes and I'm just Blake. Shawn had so many other girls throwing themselves at him and he could choose whoever he wanted, though I knew he wasn't really looking for a relationship right now. That's reason number 2. Shawn's too busy with his new album and tour rehearsals to worry about a relationship. And finally 3: Shawn had made it clear plenty of times that we are just best friends.

Spending so many months away from Shawn did help the fact that I was catching feelings for him, because if I was away from him it wouldn't be as strong. That didn't stop the smile from appearing on my face when I saw his name and contact picture pop up on my phone.

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