Alexander and I have been spending more time together, he love the ultrasound picture of the baby almost as much as he loved seeing my stomach grow. I love how he hasn't left my side. Even after he got yelled at by my father. Things were officially looking up. I was happy again. Something I haven't felt since I slapped Alexander's sister. Yet, right now, all that mattered was right now. Me and Alexander cuddling on my bed listening to Imagine Dragons and talking about everything we missed about each other. I even got a new phone!
"Wanna know what I missed the most, baby?" He said in an adorable and hot drowsy voice, his fingers tracing my belly. I muttered a 'what' and kissed his forehead. "I missed you telling me that you love me for who am I, who I was. I promise, I won't leave you. I wouldn't abandon you when you're having my kid."
I smiled softly at him. "I love how you are about this. I was so scared that you wouldn't accept the baby as yours and ignore me forever, or that you would force me to abort it." I frowned slightly before smiling again, "But that's not what happened and I'm glad."
"Yeah, I'm glad too."
"Alexander?"
"Yeah?" He mummers in response.
"I'm not sorry for slapping your sister. What she did... it was none of her business." I breathed out, my voice hardly audible.
"It's fine. At the time I just didn't think she would do that to someone as innocent as you." He sighed, "Hey, why are you crying?"
I wiped my eyes. "Sorry. Hormones are getting a little out of hand lately. I'm just happy that your back with me and that you want the baby. I sound like a freaking broken record. How many times have I told you that I'm glad you're back and want the baby?"
"Like, ten." He chuckled softly, "When's the next appointment?"
"Not till next week, why?" I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was smiling a little and his eyes were closed. He looked amazing.
"I want to go with you." His words shocked me.
"Y-you actually want to come with me?" My eyes were probably wide as saucers and full of shock.
"Sure. It's my kid too, Lana. I want to see it. Will we get to know what the gender is?" He looked at me with an adorable look in his eye. I could just kiss him!
I smiled at him and thanked my lucky stars for bringing him to me. "You're the best, Alex, the absolute best! But I'm not sure, she didn't say."
For awhile after that we didn't say much, he just traced patterns on my belly and hummed softly. It was just what I needed. I finally forgot all the heart ache I went through while Alexander was away. I missed everything about him. His eyes, his voice, anything that was apart of him. Mainly, I missed how I felt about him. Everytime I was around him I felt this tingling sensation in my heart. It never got old, it was perfect. He is perfect. Our baby is going to be perfect. As long as I think that, then everything will be okay. Then I realized something. Our baby doesn't have a name.
"Alex. What are we going to name it?" I asked.
"Well. If it's a girl, I think her name should be Alexis Marie. If it's a boy... How about Daniel James?" He looked awkward when he gave his suggestion for the boy name.
"I like them with your last name." I smiled and blushed, "I-if that's okay with you, Alexander."
"It's perfect, babe. No need to blush, even though it looks adorable." He winked at me and I started blushing more. "I'd love for our kid to have my last name, but if you change your mind then that's okay too. I don't mind as long as I get to be with you, Lana."
I could feel myself turning even more red as I stare into his eyes. "A-Alex. I'm pretty sure I'm fallin completely and totally in love with you and it kind of scares me. I've never been in love with anyone. I mean, I've had a crush on you forever, yeah, but love. Love is totally different than a crush."
He smiled and kissed me softly and slowly. "Don't be scared of how you feel, baby. I'm right here, not goin' anywhere. I promise. I'm yours now, and forever. From now on I'll kiss you like you need to be. I promise I won't ever leave you and the baby alone. I guess I kinda need you in my life." He chuckled and rubbed slow circles on my belly. It felt pretty good, to be honest.
I bit my lip nervously. How did it end up like this - so wonderful? Everything in this moment felt so perfect! "I do love you, Alex."
"I love you too, Lana." He whispered and leaned in and kissed me slowly, making sure to feel every inch of my mouth against his. He is a perfect kisser. So perfect that his kisses take my breath away. "I'd try to take this farther, but I already got you pregnant."
I laughed, "Yeah. Next time we do it, try not to get me knocked up.
"Wait. We get to have sex again?" He asked, I could feel my cheeks start to burn.
"Well - I mean - If you want to." My cheeks felt like fire and I felt like I was going to melt.
He laughed, "I would be honored to do you all day every day! Especially if I get to call you my wife, that would be the best."
I gasped and then giggled, "Is that how you're proposing to me, Alex? It's a bit rusty but I like. It gets to the point. Knock me up and tell me you'll marry me to fuck me some more. That's great, babe." I tease him, a giant smile on both of our faces.
My dad chose that moment to walk in. "I hate to be a party pooper but it's time for Alexander to leave, sweetheart. It's a school night." I stared at my dad, taking in his masculine features - his square jaw, salt and pepper hair, blue-green eyes with silver flecks, and his mis-healed nose - before sighing. Alex kissed me and kissed my stomach, saying goodbyes to me, the baby, and my father before leaving.
"Goodnight, Daddy." I smile at my dad before getting up to get ready for bed.
"Goodnight, Alana." He paused for a moment, looking very awkward before continuing, "I won't be home when you get back from school. Uh, I have some finalizing things to do with your mother that concern some of the property."
I stand there awkwardly. "Oh - uh - okay." I nod and just stare at him as he stares back just as awkwardly. I feel a mass of emotions break free inside of me before I start crying. "Daddy, I'm so sorry. If I hadn't been so stupid I wouldn't be pregnant and you and mom would still be together."
He hugged me, "It's not your fault, Lanie. We stopped loving each other a long time ago and just stayed together for you and your brother. It was bound to happen eventually. Please don't cry, baby. It's far from your fault."
He stayed until I stopped crying. Before he left, he made sure I was okay. I was okay. For now at least. But I couldn't help but to feel responsible, no matter how many times my dad told me I wasn't. My own mother hates me because I had sex out of wedlock. Because I got pregnant with a 'delinquents' child. I may have just been a catalyst to their separation, the thing that blew everything up, but it was still my fault. They could have lasted longer if I had said no. It's all my fault.
Tears absentmindedly fell from my eyes. I didn't bother to wipe them and I got up and went to my bathroom. I forced myself to relax as I brushed my teeth. Scrub. Spit. Rinse. I stared at myself in the mirror and tried to push the misery away.
I forced my breaths to stay even as I brushed out and braided my midnight black mass of hair. I thought about all the things that changed about me. I lost my virginity, I got pregnant, my parents are going to start acting like they were never married, I'm dating my baby's father again, I'd be graduating soon, summer would be here soon, I'm almost four months pregnant, and I had - technically speaking - six months of my pregnancy left.
Tearing myself away from the bathroom mirror, I walked to my dresser and pulled out black cotton shorts and a black spaghetti-strap tank top before changing. As I passed by my mirror I stared at my stomach and I decided to talk to my baby. "Hey, baby, it's mommy. Your granddaddy got you some cool clothes to wear, it's mainly onesies. Him and Daddy are going to help us. I'm sorry that you probably won't meet Grandma, she doesn't really like me anymore. I promise I'll do my best to take care of you, baby. I love you a whole lot already and I don't even know anything about you other than the fact that - no matter what - you'll be perfect. I love you, baby, goodnight." I kissed my fingers and pressed them against my belly.
Sleep doesn't come easily. I just lay in my bed staring at my ceiling and talking to the tiny human in my womb. My phone started ringing and I didn't bother to look at the caller-ID. "Hello?"
"Hey. I wasn't sure if you were still awake of not." Alexander says, the smile he wore was audible through his words. "I wasn't sure since it's late and we have school tomorrow and all."
"I couldn't sleep and I was just talking to the baby, even if it can't hear me. I don't know if it can or not." I let out a soft, breathy laugh.
"Jesus, Lana, don't laugh like that!"
"I'm sorry?"
"That was the third hottest sound that has ever come out of your mouth." His voice had become rugged and sexy. Definitely turned on now. I remember his voice sounding like that when he took my virginity.
"What's the first and second?" I licked my dry lips. I was, unwillingly, getting turned on as well. His voice was so deep and sexy right now!
"The first is just your voice, and the second is your moans. Especially if you're moaning my name." His voice had gotten so husky and silky since I picked up the phone. My panties were super soaked and my heart hammered in my chest. "I swear, those are the hottest things to ever come out of your mouth."
"You're amazing, Alexander." I breathe out, my voice extra silky when I say his name.
He groaned, "Don't tease me, Alana, that's not very nice. I guess I could jerk off, but I'd rather be in you. It's a much better feeling."
"Alex!" I gasped, "That's so... I don't know. Hot? Weird? Both?"
"It should be hot 'cause I'm your boyfriend." He said cockily and I just giggled before yawning. This time when he spoke his voice was soft and gentle, "Get some sleep, baby. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"G'night, Alex. I love you."
"I love you too, Lana," He said before hanging up.
I smiled and put my phone back on my night stand and find a comfortable position. After I got all comfy I almost fell asleep instantly. I realize that my mind was waiting on Alexander to call. Oh, Alexander, my darling sweetheart. I love you so much! Too Much, and that will be the very thing to destroy me.
A/N: Tell me what you think, lovelies!