Excruciatingly Correct Behavi...

By clarady

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Don't be forward when interested
Stay properly attired at all times
Always cover your mouth when you yawn
To avoid scandal, have a chaperone at all times
"Please" and "Thank you"
Kneel before the king
Never show your emotions
Elocution is necessary -- especially in a crowd
Better to be a mystery than an open book
One simply cannot discourse without an introduction
Heathen-like, wild behavior is improper
Duelist's challenges are acts of honor
White lies are still deceit
Lorgnettes are for use at a opera only
Be sure to always step around puddles
Never speak in an inappropriate tone
Make sure the safety is on until it isn't
"And so he said unto the world"
No utensil should ever be heaped with food
Florid speech a politician does make
Shady corners promote bad behavior
One does not wear white tie to a brunch
Interruptions bring shame to all
Much can be said with no words
Miss Mary, never Mrs.
For a basic rib knit one, purl one
The thrill is in the chase
One hand should always cover the lid of a teapot
Never give money to panhandlers
Choosers aren't beggars
Money is never up for discussion -- it's strictly personal
Obey the law -- proven or not
Be polite to locals
Bloomers are hung on a line in the shade
The silent treatment indicates social downfall
Cakes are always handed to the eldest lady first
Smile in all wedding photos
A home is never empty
Never say "Goodbye", only "'Til next time"
You should never call after nine in the evening
Mercy is the sign of a great man

Still wagging tongues with impeachable decorum

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By clarady

Often when we read a story, we want it to be authentic. That's a big reason as to why people mention other languages in their story. After all, why else would there be a French guy? We need someone to show off our ability to swear in other languages.

That being said, if you don't know the damn language or a native speaker who can help you write the phrase in a given language correctly, don't use that language. It's very simple. There are people from all over the world on Wattpad. If you don't want someone to feel insulted because you said that their mother is like a drive-thru with more nefarious purposes instead of the complement you were trying to describe, make sure you're completely correct. And Google translate is not good enough to check crappy translations (because it's only good for translations of single words, not phrases. Especially not colloquial ones).

Assuming you know that that your translation of "My God, your dog is one fat sausage! Can we eat him?" is correct, there's the problem of making your text look sort of natural in context. This is one that people fail at often.

Speaking as someone who does rely on their other languages to be understood,  it's not like people throw out phrases willy-nilly. The only time people ever try using another language to be understood is when they honestly don't know how to say it in another tongue. For instance, if someone was asking me something complicated in Swedish -- a language I have a super limited vocabulary in, by the way -- I would start jabbering in every other language I know in a sad attempt at finding a similar word. This is true because I have honestly done that (that poor pizza guy. His ears will forever be scarred).

What I would never do is start talking in a language that no one else knows for no reason (unless I'm flat-out drunk. In which case, who doesn't? English is not a good drinking language). So stop making characters in books do so (or continue to do so if they are in fact flat-out drunk). 

Foreigners/polyglots are not weird people. We don't randomly start exclaiming stuff in some other language if we can't help it. But it seems that writers are adamant that we do so. Vad fan.

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